Blackthorn Blood
by ti-bae-rius
Summary: (Set after Lady Midnight - based on the work by Cassandra Clare) When Kit's father dies, and he's forced to move into the LA Institute, he's faced with a multitude of problems. Furious at the injustice of the world for taking away his dad, he hates the Shadowhunters. But maybe a friendship with Ty could change his mind, and open him up to a new way of thinking about Nephilim...
1. Chapter 1

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of lies, of deception, of denial. Fifteen years spent hiding in the cellar like some kind of Cinderella pastiche whilst his dad did things he wasn't allowed to ask about upstairs in the lounge. Fifteen years of feeling shadowhunters, of believing he'd be kidnapped if he let on he could see them. Fifteen years of believing people like the boy with grey eyes was the type of person to fear. He got the feeling a lot of people might fear someone who'd held a knife to their throat. He was the only one who didn't seem to be driving Kit to insanity right now though.

Kit didn't fit in. He'd never fitted in at home because of his dad's secrecy; he'd never fitted in at school because of the weight of the worry he carried with him; and he didn't fit in here either. He should have been used to it. In his own world, the life he used to lead, he was used to it. But he wasn't used to anything about this universe, least of all where he slotted into the puzzle of this existence.

He'd demanded to be put in one of the spare bedrooms in the Institute upon arrival - the Blackthorns had said there were "millions" of them. It would have been nice, he thought, if one of those millions had an en suite. It had been ten hours since he'd come into this room. By now he was hungry, thirsty, and he needed to go to the bathroom. He glanced up toward the clock on the wall. It was three in the morning. They'd all have gone to sleep, all the meddling Blackthorns with their perfect, Von Trapp, oh-so-supportive family. He knew they'd been kind, knew he shouldn't hate them - Emma least of all - but he did. He'd never had a family like that. And he hated Emma the very most. When she'd lost - lost, he thought, scoffing. She hadn't lost them. They were dead, just like his dad - she'd had a perfect little built-in back-up family. She didn't know what being alone was like. She fallen straight from one family into another without leaving her backyard, her comfort zone of normalcy. Kit had been wrenched from his life and slung haphazardly into a world of monsters and demons, of fighting and lies. He hadn't just been forced from his own backyard, he'd been forced to a whole other damn planet.

He opened the door and stopped short. Sat with his back against the wall next to his door was a figure armed with a blanket, pillow, a torch, and a stack of books. He was slumped forward with his chin on his chest, the blanket around his shoulders, and one of the tomes open on his lap. The torch beam fell on a spot a little down the hall, having rolled from his hand when he'd fallen asleep. Ty.

"What is wrong with you?" Kit snapped, and Ty's head came up, startled awake. He winced a little. "Why are you here?" Ty shrugged. "Go away! Don't sit outside my room! It's creepy." He bent down and took up the torch. "And I'm taking this," he added, and stalked off down the hall to find the bathroom.

Instantly, he hated himself. Ty hadn't done anything wrong, and he'd looked so confused when Kit had yelled. He shut the bathroom door behind him and sighed. He felt awful for being so mean to Ty, to all of them, but their kindness was too much. All it would take was one smile, one person asking if he was okay, and he'd lose it. All his icy composure would be completely ruined by one gesture of warmth. If he let them close with their unrelenting happiness, he'd snap. Kit took physics at his old school and he'd done an experiment that had won him third place in his eighth grade science fair. Using strips cut from a water bottle, he'd demonstrated how it was possible to keep a shoelace vertical by applying isolated points of tension to keep it upright. If any of the tension lapsed, even slightly, the shoelace would fall - he knew this because a kid in his homeroom had messed with the equilibrium and sent the whole thing into a heap right before the judges' eyes. Kit had punched him in the face the minute he got out of the cafeteria. He had in school suspension for a week for that. He felt a little like that now, like the shoelace. All that was keeping him from collapsing was stress and tension, he thought, wrapping a towel around his waist as he got out of the shower. One tiny change in that could totally unbalance him. If he didn't stay angry, he'd cry. He knew that. He'd rather all of them hate him than even one f them pity him. He scooped his clothes back into his arms and turned the torch on as he ventured back down the dark corridor. He swept the flashlight in a wide arc, coming to rest where Ty had been. His blanket was still there, and his pillows and books. But Ty himself was gone. In his place was a tray, weighed down with food; an orange, a bag of chips, an energy bar, a sandwich of something Kit thought might be peanut butter, and what looked like a smoothie in a bottle. He glanced up and down the empty hall like a guilty man, then took the tray, shutting the door behind him with a swift kick.

Ty waited to hear Kit's door click shut, put his head around the corner, and padded back down to the space of corridor outside Kit's room. When he wanted to be, he was immovably stubborn. It drove Julian to distraction when Ty didn't feel like training, because he knew no amount of pleasing would make Ty pick up a weapon if he wasn't in the mood. He laid down, feeling the floor under him, harder than his own bed but still bearable, and pulled the blanket close about him. The Institute got cold at night. Not as cold as the older buildings, like the London Institute, but still a little uncomfortable. Julian had put heavy, dark curtains in Ty and Dru's rooms because they were light sleepers and the sun woke them up, but throughout the rest of the building the big glass windows either had light curtains or no covering at all, too large to effectively block the light from. Ty tucked his head down under the blanket and squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he'd likely be awoken when the sunrise came through the balcony doors at the end of the corridor in a few hours. Perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe he should do what Kit said, go away and stop being creepy. Ty didn't see how it was creepy. After all, he was only sat outside. He wasn't in the room. There was a poem Ty had read once called the Eve of St. Agnes by John Keats - who was apparently a mundane with the Sight. In the poem, a faerie knight called Porphyro had watched the girl he loved from her closet while she slept. That was creepy, Ty decided. He was merely making sure everything was okay. After all, they barely knew Kit. How did Julian and Emma expect him to just trust this stranger not to hurt them? He could hurt Livvy, and then Ty would have to kill him. No one hurt Livvy if Ty could help it. When she fell, she often said it was a miracle that Ty didn't take up arms against gravity itself.

But, Ty also knew that sometimes, when people were hurting, they said and did things they didn't mean. When Mark had first arrived, he'd yelled at them all, thrown Ty to the ground. They hadn't done anything wrong; Mark had just been scared. Ty remembered what it was like when his dad had died, how much it hurt in a way he could neither process nor describe. Julian, only twelve, had looked after them, picked glass from Ty's hand when he'd punched the jewellery box beside Tavvy's crib even though he'd known it would hurt. It wasn't as painful as he felt inside. He remembered the way his head had hurt until he felt sick when Emma had asked him to explain how he felt, how the only way to explain the overwhelming sadness was to scream because all language has abandoned him. Now, at fifteen, that didn't happen really. He could explain better, and Julian was grown-up enough and knew how Ty thought well enough to understand what he was feeling without having to ask him. Sometimes, when he was struggling to explain, Julian would sit him down and speak softly, get him to explain it another way, using computers or quotes and situations from Sherlock Holmes. They'd gotten a lot further with helping Ty to heal by thinking about how Watson felt after The Adventure of the Final Problem than they had by getting Ty to talk about it from his own perspective. But, Ty thought mournfully, curling his hand into a fist and hugging it to his chest, he still had the scar on his knuckle where the shards of glass had made bloody lacerations to remind him how Kit might feel. Kit might not punch things, but he might shout, and Ty understood the urge to shut yourself away in your room when things got too much. His dreams, when they came, were full of glass shards and blood, the memory of Julian extracting chunks of jewellery box from his hand while Livvy held him still. When the sun came, he'd leave. But not yet. Not quite.

When Kit woke up and opened his door, Ty was asleep in the hall. Kit rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, to tell him to take a long walk off a short pier, before he was interrupted by a disembodied voice from somewhere deeper in the bowels of the labyrinthine building.

"Ty!" the voice called and Kit retreated quickly back into his room before he was caught. He sat back against the door, curious who the voice belonged to, whether they too would tell Ty he was being weird. He knew that was technically eavesdropping, but concluded that if it was outside his own room it didn't count. If they wanted privacy – if you could even find any in this place – they should've gone somewhere they wouldn't be heard. It's not like Kit was sat with a glass to the wall. He'd hear it anyway. He didn't even really care, he reminded himself, because he didn't even like them.

"Ty!" the voice came again, closer now. A girl's voice, at the end of the hall. "Ty, what are you doing?" she asked. Not the same way Kit had asked last night, but genuinely curious rather than put out. Well, that was all very well but it wasn't _her_ room that had a round-the-clock watch she'd never requested. In fact, he'd specifically expressed his disdain at the idea of anyone bothering him. Well, Ty wasn't technically bothering him, and a strange small part of him hoped whoever this girl was she didn't make Ty leave. Kit put his head in his hands. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He supposed he wanted to be alone, but for there to be someone who wanted to be there anyway. He wanted someone to care enough to weather the storm he threw their way so he'd know they were resilient enough to handle the much bigger waves that Kit was currently navigating alone.

Outside, Ty looked up at the sound of his name.

"You woke me up, Livvy," he complained. She stood in front of him and he tilted his chin to look up at her.

"What are you doing?" she asked again. Ty shrugged. Livvy wasn't particularly surprised. She'd overheard Emma tell Julian the night before that she'd asked Ty why he was outside Kit's room and he'd done the same thing; just shrugged. "Let's get breakfast," Livvy offered, reaching a hand out to pull Ty to his feet.

"Should we bring Kit anything?" Ty asked.

"It might be better not to, then he might come out of his room!" Livvy laughed. "Come on."

Kit finally emerged to find that Ty had gone against his sister's advice because there was a small stack of toast with strawberry jelly on and a glass of orange juice. He bent down to pick it up and looked down the hall. Just where he had been last time, writing out notes from the encyclopaedia daemonica, was Ty, in a light blue shirt and black trousers. At night, Kit thought, in his pyjamas, Ty looked so different. Now, even just sat barefoot on the floor, he looked so business-like. Kit, in the same clothes he'd worn the day before and slept in, felt oddly underdressed.

"You're still here," Kit commented.

"Yes," Ty said, and Kit remembered the first time he'd heard that voice. It was low and quiet. But even though it wasn't loud, it was clear. Ty pronounced the 's' in 'yes', Kit noticed. Kit usually dropped it, the word coming out more like a 'yeah'. Typical, Kit thought, he was even pedantic in his pronunciation.

"I told you to go away. And your sister told you not to bring me anything," Kit reminded him. "Why didn't you listen?"

"I can be quite obstinate," Ty told him.

"I'm going to ignore the fact I don't even know what that means," Kit said. "Why did you bring me food? Why didn't you make me go and get it like your sister said?"

"Livvy. Her name is Livvy," Ty put in. "And I did it because our family motto is 'Lex malla, lex nulla,' which means 'a bad law is no law'. Sometimes, we have to break rules because the situation renders them impractical. Uncle Arthur eats upstairs in the attic because he's sick. Tavvy sometimes sleeps in the tent in his room instead of in his bed because he gets scared. If you're sad, you shouldn't have to eat in the kitchen with us. I'm not going to force you out so you don't starve. You're not an animal I'm trying to trap." He looked up. "Besides, if I was trying to lure you out, I'd start moving the food I brought you further and further outside your door, not just leave it right in front of you."

"That's some Hansel and Gretel stuff right there," Kit replied. "It's a shame I didn't leave any breadcrumbs to lead me back home."

"If you want to go home, I'll come with you," Ty offered. "Do you know how to get there?"

Kit nodded. "Yeah."

"Then you don't need a breadcrumb trail," Ty pointed out, putting his notes into the book and tucking it under his arm. "Also, it means stubborn."

"What?" Kit asked, leaving the toast and juice outside the door, a tempting lure for the Kit who wasn't there, and hurried after Ty.

"Obstinate," Ty clarified. "You said you didn't know what it meant. It means stubborn."

Kit sad nothing, but quickened his pace to keep up with Ty. Ordinarily, Kit would've been immediately suspicious, assuming the whole thing was a ploy to get him out of his makeshift solitary confinement. But Ty, he felt, wouldn't lie, wouldn't say one thing and do another. He trusted that if Ty said they were going to Kit's home, that's where they were going. And if he was right that that's where they were going, Kit didn't know how to feel.

As the taxi they hailed to take them to Kit's house pulled away from the sidewalk, Ty made a quiet 'hmmm' under his breath.

"What's wrong?" Kit asked, leaning back against the seat.

"N-Nothing. I just…I probably should have told Julian where I was going," he said worriedly. "I probably should have checked you were cleared to leave."

"It'll be fine," Kit said, brushing it off.

Ty closed his eyes and squeezed his hands into fists. He didn't want to make Kit not like him, but he was internally panicking. He didn't like that this driver was a stranger. He didn't like that he didn't have Livvy or Julian with him. He didn't like that he'd left his headphones at home, or that he didn't really know Kit all that well. His hands were fluttering in his lap, no matter how hard he tried to hold them still. Kit was looking out of the window at the streets going by. It made Kit's chest ache a little as the unfamiliar gave way to the homely. When the car pulled up outside the house and the two of them climbed out, there was a wistful tug at Kit's heart.

Kit put a hand on the front door and breathed out slowly.

"Are you okay?" Ty asked. Kit turned, finally clocking Ty's rapidly moving hands at his sides.

"Are _you_ okay?" Kit countered, raising an eyebrow. Ty nodded, blushing. "Then come on. Let's do this."

He pushed the door open, knowing it wouldn't be locked. Why would it be? It wasn't like there was anyone living there to lock the door to keep themselves safe. It hadn't kept his dad very safe, Kit thought, feeling like his heart had lodged in his throat. The second the door opened, the full extent of the carnage was obvious. The whole lounge was a wreck, the remains of the fight with the demon who'd killed Johnny blatant and raw and jarring. Kit gagged and Ty jumped, staring.

"What's wrong?" he asked, fighting the urge to put his hands over his ears.

Kit shook his head and walked away quickly, disappearing upstairs. Ty looked around at the disorder around him and began straightening the place up, replacing chairs that had fallen, returning upended tables to their correct positions. Upstairs, Kit sat on the hall, breathing through his teeth. Talk about role reversal, he thought, him sat here in the hall instead of Tiberius. He ran a hand through his blond hair and stood up, going into his bedroom. The world felt off-kilter, strangely broken but looking perfectly normal on the surface. It was like someone had dressed up his life to look externally perfect when, inside, it was utterly obliterated. Kit sometimes felt like that himself, like he was all hard and resistant on the outside, but inside he was slowly shattering.

Every square inch of his room was painful to look at, from his dresser scattered with trinkets and pens to his bed. His bed. He'd forgotten how much he'd missed it. He sat down on it and instantly relaxed, all the air leaving his body in one enervated sigh. He laid back and closed his eyes, feeling comfortable for the first time in so long. It wasn't even that his bed was all that comfortable – in fact, the bed in the Institute was probably nicer, the mattress less lumpy, but it was familiar. The mattress knew him, was moulded to his body. Even the duvet that smelt musty because he hadn't got around to washing it in a while before he left felt as inviting as a hug. It was the closest thing he would get to one now. He took one last minute laying there before he stood up and started shoving things haphazardly into his school backpack; clothes, his books, various things that had never been important until there was a chance he'd never see them again. He shouldered the bag and went into his dad's room. The smell of home hit him like a wave. If he was honest, Kit hadn't always liked his dad. But he _had_ always loved him. Those were different things, and they weren't mutually exclusive. He might have detested the lying, the secrecy, but he knew his dad cared about him. When Ty had held that knife to his throat, his dad had gone mad. Kit knew he mattered to his father. From his dad's room, he took shirts and jumpers, hoodies and coats, things Kit could wear that would feel like home. He leaned in to take the hoodie strewn on the bed and breathed in the smell of his dad, musky and like earthy cologne. He buried his face in the pillow next, breathing in deeply, trying to permanently keep the familiar smell in his nostrils, and then tucked it under his arm as well.

When he walked back downstairs, Ty was stood in the middle of the lounge that had been completely neatened. All the broken chips of furniture had been cleared, the stains soaked from the rug, and Ty was stood in the centre of the room, looking mildly shell-shocked.

"There was a lot of ichor and blood," Ty commented shakily. "What happened?"

"My dad got killed," Kit said shortly. "Come on, let's go. I don't want to stay here."

"Are you okay?" Ty asked, following him out.

"What do you think?" Kit said dryly, and Ty backed up as Kit slammed the door behind them.

"No. I don't think you are okay," Ty replied, closing one eye in a wince as the door banged loudly shut.

"Good guess," Kit said scathingly as they walked out onto the sidewalk.

"I didn't guess," Ty flung back angrily, his low voice hard. Kit turned sharply. He couldn't have imagined Ty shouting but the boy's grey eyes had hardened and his voice had risen to a furious crescendo. "I tried to work it out. I tried to fix your house back up so you wouldn't have to worry about it. I came with you because I wanted to understand how you felt, even though I knew we'd get in trouble." His voice fell, stony and quiet, and just as angry. Somehow, Kit thought, it was worse. "I can't apologise for that. I'm not sorry that my best isn't enough." He put a hand out to hail down an oncoming cab and opened the door for Kit, climbing in after him and staring pointedly out of the window.

Kit's stomach was tying itself in knots. He didn't know what he'd said that had done it, but he knew he'd hit a nerve. He felt awful. The way Ty had responded hadn't been the way people responded to a throwaway mean remark. He'd been genuinely hurt. Kit knew he'd said something not just mean, but personal.

"Tiberius…" Kit said quietly. "I'm…"

"Shut up," Ty whispered. "There's something wrong."

"I…I know. I didn't mean it. I was just mad and…"

"No. Something is wrong." Ty repeated, and glanced up at the taxi driver. As he did, a single eye blinked at him through the gap between the top of the seat and the headrest. Ty went instantly for the door handle but the driver was faster, and pushed the pin to lock the doors. "Move!" Ty ordered and Kit pressed himself back into the corner where his seat met the window, watching the driver, who had taken both hands from the wheel. 'Hands' might be generous. They were more like claws that had started scrabbling back towards them. His head split open down the middle, row upon row of teeth gleaming from the abyssal hole in the skull. Kit dug out one of the heavy, hardback books from his bag and swung down, hitting the demon's reaching talons with enough force to make the creature screech and reel back, crushing itself against the car horn, which emitted a long, loud noise. At the same moment, there was an almighty crash and Ty was yanking his seatbelt off, pushing the release on Kit's and making it spring back, the metal clasp smacking hard into his hip on the way. The demon was shrieking and Ty had his lips pressed together firmly. He hesitated only a moment before he pulled Kit by the hand, and scrambled from the vehicle, tumbling through the empty frame where the window had been.

Kit smacked into the blacktop hard and felt the impact of it shudder up his arm like an electric current. Ty was already on his feet and pulling Kit up and out of the road, his gait lopsided where his leg hit the concrete, painful and awkward. There were no other cars on the road, but still they hurried out of the street. When they got to the muddy bank at the side, Ty put his hands over his ears and curled up into a ball.

"Ty?" Kit asked, and put his hand on Ty's knee. Ty smacked it away hard, leaving a red mark. He was rocking, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, and Kit watched helplessly. There was nothing he could do. All he could do was…turn back time and tell Ty he didn't want to go, that they should both stay at the Institute. As he looked across at Ty, his heart turned over. There was something beautiful about Ty, unassuming and unprecedented. The angular planes of his face, even now when it was cut with tear tracks, and hard grey eyes, were like marble. Kit felt his throat tighten, and he swallowed hard against the lump that had formed.

A sudden screech of car tyres made Kit look up. Julian was getting out of the driver's seat of their battered car, with Emma by his side. Emma took one look at Kit and hauled him into the backseat of the car, sitting down beside him.

"Emma, I…" Kit began. Normally, he would've protested, yelled at her for grabbing him. He kind of felt like he deserved this though, looking out the window at Ty, huddled on the ground with Julian bent down beside him.

"Just…" Emma sighed. "Just be quiet, Kit."

Julian cast a look at the car, and moved to block Ty from the view of Kit. Ty didn't like it when people saw him have meltdowns; it embarrassed him. He certainly wouldn't want someone he barely knew seeing him at his worst. He bent down, putting himself on eye level and speaking softly but clearly.

"It's okay, Ty. It's okay. I'm here. Emma and I are here. Shh, it's alright. You're fine. You're safe."

Ty was shaking, his hands so tight on his ears that his knuckles were whitening. His breath was coming in gasps, and his skin was sweaty but cold. When he finally looked up at Julian, he relaxed a little, taking his hands away from his ears warily. Julian put a hand out, but Ty's hands were shaking, elbows tucked close to his body. He let Julian gently help him up and into the passenger seat of the car. Ty put his head against the window of the car, eventually letting it slump exhaustedly against his chest, not quite asleep but too drained to do much else. Julian said nothing to Kit, just set his jaw and turned the car around, driving steadily and silently back to the Institute.

Ty's face was bleeding. In the taxi, to smash the glass window, he'd used an open rune and the shards had flown all over. Most had flown outward onto the tarmac, but a few stray bits had nicked at his skin. Mark was sat with him, wiping blood from the boy's forehead and cheek gently with a cloth. When it finally stopped bleeding, Mark left and Julian took his place beside his little brother to apply an iratze.

"Am I in trouble?" Ty asked, his jaw set firmly the same way Julian did. "Because I didn't do anything wrong except leave without telling you, and that's fairly minor compared to what happened after that."

"None of the bit after would have happened if you hadn't left without telling us." Julian pointed out, patting Ty's arm gently where he'd applied the iratze. Ty was so porcelain pale that runes always looked far angrier on him. "But no, you aren't in trouble." Julian looked at Ty and hugged him hard, and Ty placed his hands carefully around Julian's shoulders. "I love you, Ty. You do know that, don't you?" Julian asked. "I was so worried something had happened to you."

"I know," Ty said quietly. "I'm okay. You didn't need to worry. How did you find me anyway?"

"I tracked you," Julian admitted. "Once I noticed you'd gone." Jules let him go and sat back. "What happened? Why did you go? Did he make you?"

Ty shook his head. "No. I don't know why. I never get to go anywhere," he added, jutting his chin out stubbornly.

Julian sighed. "You know why; because I just want to protect you. And things can hurt us when we're alone. That's why Emma and I always go together."

"Mark is allowed out."

"Mark is older than you."

"I can do some things on my own," Ty retorted. "I got us out of that car and if I hadn't then Kit and I would have died," he pointed out logically. "I did the open rune right to break the window, better than I did it when I broke into the basement at Johnny Rook's house."

"You did," Julian conceded. "I'm sorry. It's not…it's not that I doubt you, Ty-Ty."

Ty looked up. "I know. You're looking after me."

Julian nodded and stroked Ty's hair. Ty smiled and leaned in like a cat having its ears scratched.

"I love you," Julian said, and stood up. "Okay. I'm going to go and check that Mark hasn't said Dru and Tavvy for acorns or whatever faeries do."

"Really?" Ty asked.

Julian shook his head, grinning. "No, not really. But I do need to check he hasn't lost them," he said, and shut the infirmary door behind him as he went.

Kit had barely got into his room when the door flew open.

"Hey!" Livvy protested, turning, and a girl about his height stood before him, shutting the door loudly behind her. Her green-blue eyes hardened the same way Ty's did, and somehow he knew this was Livvy.

"Don't 'hey' me," she snapped, and he took a startled step back. In a blue cotton dress with a floral pattern, her appearance didn't match the fire in her words. She looked as if she was the inspiration for that kid's rhyme; made of sugar and spice and all things nice. And also fury and fire and anger and ire. That last part they'd clearly chosen to omit from the nursery rhyme. "What did you do?" she demanded.

"I…what do you…"

"Ty," she said shortly. "What did you do?"

"I didn't mean to…"

She cut him off again. "I don't care what you did or didn't mean to. You did it. And you were wrong to. You have no _idea_ what you're doing!" she yelled. "No idea. You don't know anything about him. Don't make him do things that could hurt him. Don't take advantage of him." Her voice quivered as she said it. She steadied herself before repeating it. "Don't take advantage of him. He's my twin brother. I'll kill you before I let you lay a finger on him."

"I know," Kit said quietly. And he did know. The fire in her eyes assured him she was entirely serious. She would destroy everything, turn the world to rubble, so she could rescue him from the debris.

"Anything could have happened! He could have been hurt or _killed_!"

" _I_ could've been killed," Kit pointed out.

"He could've been attacked by demons!" she went on, ignoring him.

"We did get attacked by demons and it was fine!" he shouted back, and his blue eyes widened. He didn't know what on earth had possessed him to say that. He should have shut up, just let her rant. Damn. In the second it took all of this to go through his mind, he felt a sharp pain explode like an ignited flame in his face. Livvy drew her hand back, her palm red and tingling where it had connected with Kit's cheek. She stepped back, feeling as hot and flushed as Kit did.

"You got attacked by demons?" she asked. He nodded silently. "And what did Ty do?"

"He took out some weird pen thing and broke the window. He got us out of there," Kit said quickly, pressing back against the wall, bracing to be hit again.

"His stele," Livvy said, half to herself. She looked up at Kit. "He did it? He was okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Kit assured her. "He was good. He seemed stressed afterward."

Livvy nodded, and Kit was surprised to see her beaming. "Wow," she breathed. "I bet Jules was furious that Ty did that after he so persistently refuses to actually train." She laughed. "That's amazing."

"Isn't that what you're trained to do?" Kit pointed out. "Hunt demons? Why is it so amazing?"

Livvy glared. "Ty isn't like that. He wants to be a scholar," she added proudly. "And," she continued. "It should have been me there when he killed his first demon, not you."

"He didn't technically kill it…" Kit muttered.

"He would have if I was there," Livvy retorted, heading toward the door. "Oh, and by the way if you do anything like that again, I'll kill you." She smiled sweetly, the action strangely sinister with her words, and shut the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Kit sighed. It seemed like the entire Institute hated him. Emma was mad, Julian was mad, Livvy was downright murderous. And Ty…He breathed out. He'd never meant to hurt Ty. He'd known he shouldn't have gone the very second they got in the taxi. What had Ty said? "I probably should have told Julian where I was going." And Kit had known something was wrong, had tried to ignore Ty's fluttering hands and mumbling because he knew that if he acknowledged it, if he asked if Ty was okay, that opened up the opportunity for Ty to insist they go back. He hated actually thinking it though, listening to how selfish it sounded in his own mind. Livvy had told Kit not to take advantage of her brother. He'd never meant to. He wasn't sure was anything about Ty to take advantage of. Except that wasn't quite true. He'd known Ty was honest to a fault, and stubborn – no, not stubborn. Obstinate, he thought fondly. He should apologise.

Kit opened his bedroom door and looked down. Sat against the wall, with his nose in a book, was Ty. Still. After all that.

"Hi," Kit said quietly. "Can I sit with you?"

Ty nodded. "Yes."

"What are you reading?" Kit asked.

"A Case of Identity," he replied, not looking up. "It's a Sherlock Holmes short story."

"Is it good?"

Ty scoffed. "Of course it is."

"Do you like Sherlock Holmes?"

Ty looked up. "Yes. I love Sherlock Holmes. I want to be a detective like him."

"Are there many Shadowhunter detectives?"

"Not currently. But it would certainly be an asset," Ty told him. "Shadowhunters who don't know what they're doing waste weeks – sometimes months – trying to solve crimes that are really very easy."

Kit smiled, and then his face fell. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"What do you mean?" Ty asked, head buried in the pages.

"You're injured because of me. You got attacked by a demon because of me."

Ty closed his book with a soft thump. Kit's eyes flicked down to read the title on the front. 'Sherlock Holmes: the complete illustrated works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle'. It couldn't have been less than a thousand pages, thicker than anything Kit had ever read. He wondered how many times Ty had read it.

"Because people treat me like I'm different," Ty said seriously. "And you didn't. You didn't think twice about asking me to come with you just like you would have with anyone else. And so I'm being nice to you because you weren't very nice to me. And you didn't pretend to be nice. I knew you were angry and you didn't try and pretend you weren't. That makes my life easier."

"Well, I've never been thanked for being an asshole," Kit grinned.

"I didn't thank you," Ty pointed out. "But I did appreciate that you didn't underestimate me. Some people think I'm weird or stupid."

"That book is thicker than everything I've ever read put together," Kit laughed. "You're not stupid."

"Oh, I know," Ty said. "I just don't think they do." Kit grinned.

"Tell me about your book," Kit said.

Ty glanced up. "What?"

"Or read it to me," Kit expanded, putting his chin on his hand.

Ty looked up and met Kit's eyes briefly, and then his gaze darted back to the page in front of him.

"'My dear fellow,' said Sherlock Holmes as we sat on either side of the fire in his lodgings at Baker Street, 'life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.'" he began, and Kit watched as Ty's mouth moved, the way his eyes danced across the page as if it was second nature, as if he could close his eyes and the words would come just as easily. It was like he was speaking, but seemingly easier. He seemed to like speaking words that were not his own. They didn't seem to stick somewhere between his brain and his throat the same way. Kit liked the way Ty read. He liked the way he changed his voice when he read different characters. He liked the way, when exciting parts happened, he would smile because he knew a secret Kit did not – and Kit didn't mind not knowing the secret yet. He was just happy to have it all explained in Ty's soft, even voice.

"'There is as much sense in Hafiz as in Horace, and as much as the knowledge in the world.'" Ty finished, and closed his book. He looked up and met Kit's eyes. And held them. He seemed to be searching, deep in the blue of Kit's irises, for something that Kit wasn't sure of himself. Kit breathed in, and kept his gaze steadily on Ty's grey eyes. He knew, somehow, that what was happening was important.

Ty knew people liked it when you looked them in the eyes when you spoke to them. Not at their feet, or past their shoulder, or at the freckle under their left eye. But in their eyes. Eyes, he'd heard, were a window into the soul. There were twinkles in eyes, people had stars in their eyes, and people turned a blind eye. It was all a bit much. Eyes were…intense. There was too much movement and too many rules about when to make eye contact and how much to make, and Ty did not want a window into anyone's soul. Shoulders, freckles, and feet were much less dramatically revealing. But Kit…Kit's eyes, he didn't mind. In fact, Kit's eyes were interesting.

Kit's eyes were very blue. He knew that 'very blue' didn't make total sense, but that was the only way to describe it. Most people's eyes had lots of different colours in them. Livvy's were blue and green with flecks of hazel. Kit's eyes were just blue. Like the sky. Like Julian's paint water after a single dip of an aquamarine-slicked brush. He remembered when he'd first met his Uncle Arthur, who now seemed to thoroughly despise him. He'd told Ty to look at him when they spoke. Emma had told Arthur not to bother, because Ty didn't make eye contact when he spoke. He wasn't sure Arthur had ever really gotten over that. When Ty had done his last Clave testing, there had been a huge argument. One of the challenges added to the test was a radio playing overwhelming background noise – traffic and talking and screeching cats. Ty had put his headphones on instantly. And Arthur had been furious.

'Take the headphones off,' Arthur had snapped. Ty remembered throwing the knife he held at the radio, the shard ricocheting and cutting his hand. But if all eyes looked like Kit's, Ty didn't think he would mind so much.

Kit stayed utterly silent, keeping his gaze soft but steady on Ty. When Ty finally broke the look, he made a noise of approval and stood up.

"I'm going to get lunch. Would you like to come?"

Kit hesitated. "I don't know. Everybody hates me."

"I don't hate you," Ty said simply.

Kit smiled. "I don't hate you either."

Ty stood up and began down the hall, his book tucked under his arm. He clearly assumed, Kit thought in mild frustration, that this expression of their lack of animosity for each other also meant Kit would like nothing more than to go and eat with Ty's somewhat bitter family. Maybe that wasn't fair. He assumed they weren't generally bitter. Just with Kit. They'd originally being fairly inviting. That was, before he'd totally messed up with Ty…

"Kit?" Ty asked, and Kit hurried after him, not wanting to be left behind in the labyrinthine halls of the Institute.

When the two of them walked into the dining room, Emma's head snapped up. Julian, from where he stood by the stove, turned, a tea towel over one shoulder. He pressed the spatula onto the toasting bread one more time and flipped it over onto a plate.

"First grilled cheese is up," Julian said, and Ty walked over to collect it. Ty always got first plate at mealtimes, and after Julian had handed Mark his plate – he'd been added to the order directly after Emma –, Julian looked at Ty. Usually, Ty ate meals with a book by his side and his headphones on playing loud violin music. He didn't like hearing other people eating. But today, he had his headphones on, but no music playing. His book was shut, the hand that usually ran along the page he was reading, instead clicking pen nib up and down.

"Kit, do you want a grilled cheese?" Julian asked.

Kit nodded. "Thank you."

Jules brought Kit's plate to him and sat down next to Emma, eating his own meal. Emma leaned over and brushed a crumb from Julian's tangle of dark brown hair.

"You must be Kit," Dru said quietly, shy. "I'm Dru."

"Julian called you a bad word," Tavvy piped up.

Julian blushed bright red and glared at Tavvy. "No I didn't."

"Which word?" Dru asked.

"It doesn't matter, because I didn't say it," Julian hissed. "Right, Emma?"

"Right," Emma nodded, barely suppressing a smile.

Just like Julian, Emma had noticed that Ty was happy with Kit. She wasn't entirely sure why, or what had happened, but she did know Ty didn't always forgive quickly, particularly when he didn't understand why people had done what they did. Emma remembered when Julian had to kill his father, and how Ty had screamed and sobbed for ages, pounding his 10-year-old fists against Julian's chest. It was because he didn't understand why Julian had done it, hadn't understood that his father was no longer the same man. Ty had screamed for hours at a time, thrashing when Emma tried to comfort him, and would only sleep if Livvy curled up with him. That was the worst Ty had been for a long time, and Emma remembered looking over at Julian from where her bed was and seeing tears rolling down his face while he fell asleep listening to Ty's hoarse mumbles of sadness mixed with Livvy's crying. Julian had a real soft spot for Ty, for his peculiarities and idiosyncrasies, and Emma was privy to see how it shattered him when Ty shouted that he hated him for killing their father. It had broken Julian's heart when he'd told Ty he loved him and his little brother hadn't reacted at all. It had taken Ty a long time to learn that 'I love you' had a lot of different implications. It meant 'I want to protect you' and 'I am attracted to you' and 'You matter a lot to me' and it meant different things from different people. Sometimes people said it frivolously, when you got them a drink without them asking because you were at the fridge anyway. Sometimes, they said it very seriously, like Livvy did when she was crying and Ty put his arm around her and hugged her because she liked it when he hugged her. So when Julian said he loved Ty, after he'd killed their father, Ty had been baffled and frightened and angry.

Emma watched as Julian ate his meal. He always ate fast. He did everything fast, except painting. It was because he was already to dart off and pick someone up who'd fallen and grazed a knee, apply an iratze, hug one of his teary-eyed children when they were sad. Sometimes, when they were little and everything got scary and complicated when they were all on their own with the kids, Emma would pretend it was a game. She would pretend Julian was the daddy, and she was the mommy, and they were married and these were all their children. And Julian would make her dinner when she came in, and she would wash the dishes while she dried them, and they would be a happy family. And then Tavvy would throw a half-eaten slice of apple at her and she would bump back to reality in a sudden and jarring jolt. And then they were back to being scared little children again, only two years older than some of the kids they were responsible for. Emma wondered how either she or Julian didn't burst into tears. Sometimes, she would go into the bathroom and sit on the floor to gather herself before Dru knocked at the door to say that Julian had said to ask her whether Dru could have pudding. Emma would stand, unlock the door, and say "No, never!" teasingly. Then she'd bend down and tickle Dru until she squealed, then take her by the hand to go get a pudding cup.

Sometimes, Emma still wanted to play pretend. And sometimes, she thought Julian did too.

"Ready?" Ty asked, looking at Livvy.

She nodded, finishing her juice, and stood up with him. Every day after lunch, Ty and Livvy went to check on the intelligence files on the computer.

Kit looked up. "Where are you going?"

"Watson," Ty answered simply.

"As in…Sherlock Holmes?" Kit asked, remembering the story Ty had read him. Ty lit up.

"Yes! My computer is named after him."

Ty and Livvy left, chatting together, leaving Kit alone at the table looking out of place and lonely. Tavvy slid along the bench into the place where Ty had been sat beside Kit.

"Hi," Tavvy said cheerfully.

"Hi," Kit replied quietly, stabbing his fork into his salad with more force than might have been necessary.

"There's a game on the computer called Minesweeper. None of us know how to play it but Livvy always wins. No one knows how," Tavvy said, and reached out, popping one of the little tomatoes from Kit's plate into his mouth.

"Tavvy!" Julian chastised. "You do not eat food off other people's plate."

Tavvy went to put a stick of celery on Kit's plate in replacement and Emma swooped down.

"Nu-uh," she said, returning it to Tavvy's plate. "Doesn't count if you don't like the thing you're swapping and they do like the thing you took."

Tavvy ate his celery morosely and Mark laughed.

"Celery is good for you, little brother," he said brightly. "It is an Ancient Greek chthonian symbol."

"Though-knee-un?" Tavvy sounded out, confused.

"From the underworld," Dru explained, putting on her best horror voice. "Demons!"

Kit could guarantee her that this would have elicited quite a different response from a mundane 7 year old. As it was, Tavvy merely replied, "Well now I really don't want to eat my celery."

"You can go after the twins, if you like," Julian told Kit, putting the used dishes into the sink. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

Kit almost stood up to go after them before he caught a glimpse of the dark circles under Julian's eyes that looked like bruises, the weary way he stood. Kit was used to doing his share of chores around the house, and collected the rest of the plates and glasses from the table.

"It's okay. I'll help wash up," he said.

"As will I," Mark offered, standing up.

Julian looked like the weight of the world had been lifted momentarily from his shoulders. "So, Emma and I can leave you two to handle this?"

Kit and Mark nodded, and Kit felt a strange familial sense of satisfaction in this act of unity. Maybe he wouldn't always feel so out of place here. And maybe that was partially the reason he'd offered to help out. He wanted them to like him, wanted them to forgive him for what he'd done. In fact, he wasn't sure it was even that. He didn't exactly want forgiveness, because he still felt he didn't deserve it. But he did want them to know he was sorry. Julian gave Kit a small smile, and he knew that he'd made headway in the direction of burying the hatchet with Jules. Emma and Julian disappeared through the kitchen door.

"Come on, Tavs. Let's go play basketball," Dru asked and Tavvy nodded, running down the hall, Dru chasing after him. A few moments later, Mark and Kit heard Tavvy squeal as Dru tackled him, tickling him in the sides. Mark turned to Kit.

"Should I wash these, and you can dry them?" he asked, and Kit nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Kit mumbled.

"I do understand," Mark said contemplatively. "I was taken by Faerie, and I am still adjusting to the life of the Shadowhunter I used to be. You may have noticed that, of any place you could have found yourself, the Los Angeles Institute is one of the best for the unusual and somewhat ostracized."

"Humph," Kit muttered, unconvinced.

"I have my mother's ears, as does my sister, Helen." Mark brushed his blonde hair back behind his ears. They were pointed at the top, and delicate looking. "And two different coloured eyes, as well. These are the characteristics of the Fey."

"Dan Ackroyd has two different coloured eyes," Kit pointed out. Mark cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. "You know, from Ghostbusters?"

"Are they like Shadowhunters?" Mark asked.

Kit grinned. "Kinda."

"Ty says it's called 'heterochromia'," Mark told him. "Having two different colours eyes. But because it was not a birth defect, he said I was more like David Bowie." Mark leaned in conspiratorially. "I do not know who David is."

"Is it scary?" Kit asked. "Forgetting everything?"

"Terribly," Mark nodded. "Some days, early on especially, there were things I wanted to say and I'd completely lost the words for them. I almost wanted to go back with the faeries."

"But…they captured you," Kit said, puzzled.

"Ty said it was called Stockholm Syndrome, that I'd begun to feel affections for my captor. It's odd how even Hell can feel more appealing when home was changed so."

Kit nodded. He understood that. A part of him still wanted to go back to his house in Victor Heights and feel normal; even though nothing was normal any more, even though demons lurked and he was all alone.

"Did you miss the faeries?" Kit asked, drying a bowl. Mark considered. By the time he answered, Kit had finished putting away all the washed dishes.

"Some," Mark replied, a little sadly. "I missed some. But, more so, it felt like a disappointment of sorts. I wasn't enough of a faerie for the Wild Hunt, but I was too much of one for the Clave."

"So what did you do?" Kit asked. He realised that how they were done washing up, he didn't have an excuse to stay and keep talking, but Mark didn't seem to mind.

"I adapted," Mark told him simply, with a casual shrug. "It is what we are best at, here at the Los Angeles Institute. We adapt for myself and for Ty, for Tavvy and Arthur. It is our great skill."

"Hopefully it'll rub off on me," Kit sighed.

"Julian will make sure of that," Mark said. "I ought to go and check on the children. Thank you for your assistance and conversation, Kit. It has been a pleasure."

If Kit was so cordially thanked for doing dishes back home, he thought as Mark left, he would always have done his chores. And if everyone gave half as good advice as Mark, the world would be a whole lot simpler.

Kit was sat on his bed that night at only eight. He didn't really want to be with the Blackthorns anymore. They felt too much like…too much like a family, too much like he was excluded by blood. Even though Emma, who didn't share a drop of blood with them, and almost drowned out the noise outside his door.

"'I had called upon my friend, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, one day in the autumn of last year…'"

Kit sat up, and went to his door, opening it a little.

"Which is this?" Kit asked.

"The Red-Headed League," a familiar voice came from outside. "Now sshh." When he did this, Ty sounded funny, like his mouth was trying to stop the sound from coming out. "' I had called upon my friend, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, one day in the autumn of last year and found him in deep conversation with a very stout, florid-faced, elderly gentleman with fiery red hair.'"

Kit smiled and put his head around the door, looking briefly down at Ty. Ty didn't turn. He was too busy reading, intent and immersed. An earthquake could shake the world and Kit doubted whether Ty would look up in that moment. Kit disappeared and sat down on the floor in his room, just out of sight. If the walls disappeared, Kit thought, they'd be back to back. He'd be able to feel the way Ty's spine moved as he breathed, the way his shoulder blades shifted as he turned the pages, the way he hunched further into the books when the story got exciting.

Kit put his head back against the wall, and pretended that, just outside his door, there really was a detective who could solve all the problems in the world. Maybe Sherlock Holmes would have deduced that Kit was a Shadowhunter. Maybe he would've been able to explain exactly why Kit's dad had to die. In crime books, everything came together neatly at the end. Kit wondered if his own life would do that. Maybe, he thought, that's why Ty liked Sherlock Holmes so much. Everything could be solved; everything had a reason and a solution. In a world of unpredictability, detective novels provided a narrative landscape in which everything could be fixed.

Only when Kit heard the gentle thump of the book shutting did he realise Ty had stopped reading.

"You laughed," Ty said. "At the jokes."

"I did?" Kit replied quietly. "I wasn't even thinking."

"You hardly need to think at all to laugh," Ty reasoned. "Goodnight, Kit."

"Goodnight."

Kit stayed sat on the floor a little loner until he felt tired enough to sleep, wrapped in his dad's old knitted cardigan that was unravelling at the cuffs.

When Ty walked back to his room, Livvy was sat on his bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked, putting his book on the bedside table with his collection of important things; his Sherlock Holmes books, his old stuffed toy bee, and a large glass jar that was currently housing a butterfly who couldn't fly. Ty was nursing it back to health by gently unrolling its proboscis with a shaved-down toothpick and feeding it a sugar-water solution. Livvy didn't say anything and Ty bent down to his butterfly.

"Hello," he said quietly, opening the lid. The creature fluttered its wings a little. It lifted a couple of inches off the bottom of the jar and Ty beamed. "That's brilliant! Livvy, isn't that brilliant?"

"Yeah, great," Livvy said half-heartedly.

"I know!" Ty went on obliviously, and put the lid back on. He tapped the side gently with the pad of his finger, and the butterfly bumped clumsily against the glass. Ty laughed. "Are you shaking hands?" he grinned. "It's nice to meet you."

He sat down beside Livvy on the bed, who was staring at him, calculating.

"Where have you been?" she asked, sounding accusing. "You always come to my room at half past eight to chat together. You didn't come."

"I was reading to Kit," Ty said, flopping back on his bed. "The Red-Headed League. He liked it. He laughed at the funny parts."

"Do you think he wants you to read your book to him?"

"I don't know." Ty shrugged. "He hasn't told me not to."

"Sometimes people don't tell us not to do something, even if they wished we would," Livvy said. Ty lifted his head a little to look at her.

"Why are you being mean?"

"I'm not being mean." Livvy sighed. "I'm trying to help you. He took advantage of you, and I don't want him to do it again."

"He didn't take advantage of me," Ty said angrily, cheeks flushing pink. "I'm not a child, Livvy. I'm the same age as you."

"That's not what I said!" Livvy protested.

"That's what you meant," he grumbled. "I know."

"No you don't! I just mean that you should be careful. He's already got you attacked by demons."

"I fought it! I wasn't attacked. It was a fight," he told her pedantically. "If I hadn't fought back, it would have been an attack."

"Whatever. And besides…you fought your first demon without me," Livvy said sadly. "I thought we were a team."

"We are a team," Ty assured her firmly, laying his head back. "Like Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson." She smiled. "I'm sorry you're sad. I didn't mean to upset you," he added.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you."

"It's okay. You didn't even get mad, really. You didn't even shout," he told her. She lay down next to him and took his hand gently, staring at the ceiling in silence together until Ty spoke again. "Do you really think Kit doesn't want me to read him my books?"

"I think that if he doesn't, then we know he's not qualified to be our friend." Livvy laughed. "We can't have friends that don't like detective stories now can we?" Ty laughed. "Show me your friend," Livvy said, sitting up and pointing to the butterfly with her free hand. She tugged Ty up after her, and he smiled.

"She's called Aldora," Ty said happily. "It means 'winged gift' in Ancient Greek. Would you like to hold her?"

Ty reached over and opened the lid, carefully edging the butterfly onto his finger. He placed it gently into Livvy's cupped hands.

"How do you know it's a girl?" she asked.

"See here, on the wings?" Ty asked, pointing. "If she was a male, there would be dot there, and a matching one on the other wing. This is a female. She doesn't have those marks."

Livvy handed Aldora back and watched as Ty carefully put her back in the jar. She smiled. Ty loved insects. They were like his best friends, except for her. And possibly Kit now, she guessed. Livvy wasn't sure how she felt about that exactly. She was Ty's best friend, not some stranger who got him hurt.

"I'm going to sleep," she said, and patted his shoulder affectionately. "Goodnight, Ty-Ty."

"Goodnight, Livs," he replied, and reached for his book as she closed the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

"We need to get back to a normal routine," Julian said at breakfast that next morning. "Everything has gone off track with…" he glanced at Emma. "One thing and another. But now things are settling down again, we need to get back to our usual schedule."

Ty breathed a sigh of relief, and spread butter on his toast in satisfaction. Then he looked up. "Wait! We can't! I have to prepare."

"I know, I know," Julian said, nodding. "But you never even bother training anyway." He grinned. "So we'll just cut some time out of your _supposed_ training time, and you can study in that time. And then you'll go to study as usual with the others, but we'll dedicate you some time there to prepare too."

Ty nodded. "Can we plan properly?"

"After breakfast," Julian vowed. "I promise."

"What is Tiberius preparing for?" Mark asked, spearing a piece of fruit salad.

"For his scholomance acceptance," Emma reminded him. "We've told you a million times."

"Definitely not a million," Mark grumbled. "Six times at the very maximum."

" _Anyway_ ," Emma ploughed on. "When is your interview, Ty?"

"Next week," Ty said, pouring juice – black grape from the Walmart nearby. His favourite kind.

"We've told you a million times!" Livvy mocked Emma, who swatted at her laughingly.

"What's on the exam?" she asked. "What do you want to focus on most?"

"Well," Ty said, putting his glass down. "The first section is a critical reading. So we get a passage from an ancient text and have to deduce what it means. But that should be easy, and I know Latin, so I'm not worried," he said, nibbling on a corner of his toast contemplatively. "The next bit is an analysis of a text of our choice, as well as a pre-prepared essay on why we think it's interesting. That bit looks good."

"Then what are you worried about?" Dru asked.

"Not nervous, but…I can't prepare for an interview the same way. The interview is the first stage. I can't do the exam if I don't get through the interview, and the exam is the bit that'll prove I'm good. The interview is the bit that will be hard." Ty explained. "It's what will be the decider between me and everyone who's just as good. I can't know what kind of questions they'll ask."

"It's okay, we'll prepare well," Julian said kindly. "We can think of the most likely questions they will ask and how you'll answer, and some generic answers you can apply to lots of questions."

Ty nodded, content with this solution, and continued with this solution, and continued with his breakfast. Again, though he had his headphones on, his book was closed on the table beside him.

"Are you excited?" Livvy asked Ty.

Ty looked puzzled. "What for? I haven't passed anything yet. There's nothing to be excited for if I fail."

"You won't fail. You'll get in," Tavvy said happily. "Because Julian sometimes says you're a smartass."

Julian glared. "Okay, if everyone could stop reporting the things I say out of context that would be brilliant."

"I'd be the youngest person there though," Ty said worriedly. "To ever go there."

"And before you, there was a youngest," Emma pointed out. "There was always a youngest. You'll just be the youngest they've had. You're just…breaking a record."

Ty shrugged. "I suppose so. I'm not sure record-breaking is in my nature."

"Don't be foolish, of course it is," Mark told him. "You're a Blackthorn. That's what Blackthorns _do_."

"Well, you all need to get ready for training," Emma said, glancing at the wall clock. "You too, Kit."

"And Ty, we'll sort out your schedule," Julian added. "You stay here with me and we'll do it now."

"Shouldn't Kit stay?" Ty asked. "He hasn't learned anything about runes or rules or the Clave."

Kit was about to protest that he knew quite a lot already because of his dad and the line of work Johnny had been in, but something stopped him. Something, he thought, that might have something to do with the fact that Ty had singled him out. Maybe it was to do with the fact that he felt like Ty was the only one who properly forgave him. He watched Mark beckon Livvy, Dru, and Tavvy from the room and shut the door behind him.

"Okay, we can start with you," Julian said, sitting down opposite Ty at the table. Emma pushed a pad of paper and a pen across and Jules smiled gratefully. Ty liked things better written down, because he could pin them all around his room in a strange way that seemed messy amidst Ty's usual order. But it wasn't; to him, it made perfect sense. It helped, he said, with something called the Method of Loci. He'd tried to explain it to Emma, but she'd gotten confused and – though she hadn't mentioned this bit – bored. "Right, okay," Julian went on. "Do you want to write or shall I?"

"I'll write," Ty said, and pulled the pad and paper across toward him. "I'm neater, and faster."

Emma and Julian exchanged amused looks and she grinned.

"I'll go and oversee training," she offered. Julian mouthed a 'thank you' over his shoulder and turned back to Ty.

"Okay, right. Interview," Julian said. "You're worried about that rather than the exam, right?"

"Yes," Ty nodded. "I can't even get through to the exam until I've done the interview. I've already finished my essay."

"You have?" Jules asked. "Have you shown it to anyone?"

"Arthur."

"What did he say?" Julian sounded concerned.

"He hated it," Ty answered matter-of-factly.

"What did you do it on?" Julian asked, prickling. He hated Arthur. Hated him. Okay, he didn't. But he did sometimes hate how dismissive he was of them all, especially Ty. He refused to even acknowledge Ty's existence except to scold him.

"Sherlock Holmes," Ty replied.

Julian glanced over at him, writing notes, and sighed. He loved Ty, every single little bit of him. He loved the way Ty adored his Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the way he insisted on the 'Sir'. But, sometimes, Julian worried that Ty was far more interested in the mundane world of computers and crime fiction than in shadowhunting.

"Why did you show Uncle Arthur?" Julian asked, sounding defeated and perplexed.

"The letter from the scholomance said to approve my essay with my Head of Institute," Ty told him. "So I did."

"But, Ty…you know it would have been best to ask me instead."

"But if they asked 'who approved this?' I would have to say 'Julian' and they'd say 'Why? He isn't your Institute Head'. Then I would have to say 'No, but it would be best to ask him because my uncle is the Head of the Institute but he forgets to make us food so we have to ask Julian things like this or Diana but she is away on business in London for an undisclosed amount of time'."

"You could lie," Julian pointed out.

"I didn't think of that."

Julian smiled fondly. "Ty," he said tactfully. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do your essay on your books?"

"Of course," Ty said, puzzled. "Why?"

"I just…It isn't a Nephilim text, is it?"

Ty shook his head. "It didn't say it had to be, though. They even gave examples, and one was in Chthonian."

"I'm just worried it might jeopardise your chances of getting in," Julian told him gently. "They might be looking for something a little bit more…relevant to the texts you're going to be looking at in the archives."

"What's the point of looking at something they'll only ask me to look at in the libraries there?" Ty pointed out. "And besides, it's an analysis task. You can analyse detective texts better than anything else because they always have solutions. Sometimes, people just write nonsense. There's no point in analysing nonsense."

Julian opened his mouth to say something before giving up and shaking his head a little.

"Okay," he nodded. "Right, so I'll write you some practise interview questions this morning while you train and then this afternoon we can run through them together. Does that sound good?"

"But how will I know what you'll ask?"

"You won't; that's the whole point."

"Oh yeah," Ty laughed. He put the pen down. "Would you like the paper and a pen, Kit?"

"I think I'll be alright," Kit said unenthusiastically and Ty shrugged.

"Well, I think the best thing for you would be to read the Codex," Juian told Kit. "Ty, take Kit to the library to grab a copy. Then both of you can go up to training. Get Emma or Mark to oversee some basic foundation training for Kit, Ty. Okay?"

Ty nodded and got to his feet, tucking his book under his arm and putting his headphones on deftly with an elbow.

"Let's go," Ty said, and disappeared with Kit out of the door.

"I can hear you, you know."

Kit looked up. He'd been staying silent after Ty had put his headphones on, and was walking along slightly behind him. His footsteps echoed on the floor of the endless corridors. He'd been told that the LA Institute wasn't as big after his suburban townhouse.

"Oh," Kit said, rubbing a hand over the soft, short bit of hair at the nape of his neck, making it stick up in tufts. "I didn't know," he paused. "What's a Codex?"

"The Codex is kind of…a guidebook to the shadow world," Ty answered after a moment of thought. He wanted to make sure he phrased it right. "It has a lot of things you need to know in it, like the history of the shadow world, and the downworld. It defines a lot of things, like the different types of demons. You learn your runes through it usually, by copying them up over and over." He paused. "It doesn't tell you a lot of the particulars though."

"Like what?"

"Like how to act in front of the Clave. It tells you the big rules, but not the little ones. But sometimes it's the little ones that can catch you out, that people expect you to know the best, and that they get the most frustrated with you when you don't know."

Kit stopped in his stride, and it took Ty a few seconds to notice because he was walking a little ahead and his headphones blocked out the footsteps – or sudden lack thereof. Kit got the feeling Ty wasn't advising him anymore, but trying to tell Kit wasn't the only one struggling with Shadowhunter life, that the adjustment process Kit was going through had never ended for Ty. He didn't just understand it in hindsight; he understood in present tense. Kit felt the knife Ty had once held to his throat twist in his heart.

"Lex malla, lex nulla," Kit said quietly. Ty pushed his headphones down around his neck.

"What?"

"Lex malla, lex nulla," Kit repeated. "You said that was your family motto; a bad law is no law. Maybe some of the Clave's rules are dumb, so they get mad when people like you question why they exist. I get the feeling the Clave don't like people who don't follow their rules."

"They don't," Ty agreed. "They don't like my family much at all."

"Why not?"

"They don't like my brother and sister, Mark and Helen, because they're part faerie. They like Mark even less now he's been to Faerie. And they don't like any of us for keeping it secret, or because they think we're tainted by faerie blood by association, even though they're our half-siblings so that argument makes no sense. I'm not allowed to tell the Clave that though." Kit smiled. He wondered how often Julian had to give that warning to Ty, who was continuing. "They don't let Helen live with us. She's been exiled to Wrangel Island. It's because of her faerie blood, but Julian says it's at least partially because the Clave is homophobic, and they don't like Helen having a wife."

"What do you think of it all?" Kit asked.

"I…It makes me angry," Ty answered. "I miss them. I miss my sister, and I liked Aline. She gave Helen her family ring, and we all really liked her. We were going to have a bigger family, and she and Helen could have looked after us and Julian could relax. She could ride horses, and she said she'd teach me too as well. And then…the Clave took them away. It makes me angry and sad," Ty concluded. He paused, wrinkling his nose. "No one ever asks me how I feel about things. They don't give me time to explain right, and once they've asked, and I've said I don't know because I haven't thought of what I want to say yet, they never ask again. They just assume I don't care, I suppose."

Kit nodded. There wasn't much to say, he guessed. For some reason, the fact that Ty and his family so openly accepted Helen's sexuality made Kit smile. Ty seemed to have no cognizance of why different was presumed to be wrong. Ty, it seemed, had a far more logically open-minded view. To Ty, 'wrong' was things that hurt people, things that were wrong for a real reason, not because bigoted people disagreed with them.

"We have a new version of the Codex too," Ty said enthusiastically. "It has a section on the Dark War, the Mortal War, and the Cold Peace. I think, one day, they'll add our investigation on the Lottery. Well, maybe…" Ty shrugged. "Maybe it isn't important enough. I've always wanted to have something I investigated printed. It would just be so…cool."

"The Lottery? My…my dad worked on that," Kit said quietly. "I always kind of pretended to myself that it was the mundane lottery."

"Is that a lot different?" Ty asked. "The mundane lottery?"

Kit laughed. "Quite a lot different, yeah."

Ty pulled the library door open and walked over to where a shelf housed a long line of books, volumes I to some number Kit didn't know the Roman numeral for. 10? 53? Who knew? Ty probably, Kit thought. Ty pulled the last one in the row out and handed it to Kit. It was leather-bound with a silvery-white calligraphy on the front reading 'The Shadowhunter's Codex: 2010 Edition'.

"Look, look," Ty said, and flipped through the book until he got to the page he was looking for. Then, he pointed. There, across a double page, was a photo of 6 people; 2 girls, and 4 boys. He read the caption underneath; 'From left to right: Simon Lewis, Isabelle Lightwood, Jonathan Lightwood-Herondale, Clarissa Fairchild-Morgenstern, Alexander Lightwood, Magnus Bane'. It made Kit smile that he could gauge their personalities just through the photo of them. Isabelle was beautiful, with lips that were dark with lipstick in the monochrome photo. She looked flirty and like she could probably snap Kit in half with a flutter of her eyelashes. The other girl looked so genuinely happy that it made Kit want to smile too. The boy stood beside her, was looking at her, his eyes soft and proud and full of love.

"Do you know these people?" Kit asked.

Ty nodded. "They've done so much. Jace is Emma's hero. She used to have a crush on him. Livvy likes Isabelle best. I like Alec. He and Magnus were Helen and Aline's inspiration for coming out. We owe a lot to them as a family."

"Well, thank you," Kit said, taking the book from Ty's outstretched hand and tucking the tome under his arm.

"We should get ready. Julian wanted us at training and we've been way longer than expected," Ty said. "The training room is at the top of the main staircase. Emma left gear in your room. I'm going to get changed."

Kit watched as Ty left the library, and he couldn't help but relax a little. There was something about the way Ty spoke and moved and generally _was_ that made Kit not want to bolt out of the door. At night, it was worst, when he wanted to cry or throw things or run until there was no ground left to run, until the world slowed to a stop. But at times like this, in the light of day where the fears had no shadows to hide in, he didn't entirely mind the planet continuing to turn.

"You're a Herondale. You must have some kind of inbuilt bonus or something."

Kit ignored both Emma's comment, and her reaching hand to pull him to his feet.

"Apparently not," he scowled.

"Emma, swap with me," Julian said, and walked over to where Kit leaned against one of the pillars, looking around the training room with a sulky expression. "Hit me," Jules offered. Kit had thrown a punch before Julian could change his mind, only to find the exhilarating rush cut short too soon by the thump of his fist into Julian's open palm that closed around Kit's fist. He pushed it down and away, forcing Kit to take a staggering step back. "No. You'll never get a hit in that way."

"Then why did you ask me to do it?" Kit forced out through gritted teeth.

"Because I have a feeling the chance of getting to hit someone and that maybe that'd make you feel better is the only way I can get you to actually care at all."

"Why _should_ I care?"

"What did you do when your house got attacked?" Julian demanded.

"Shut up," Kit hissed, jaw clenched.

"Wouldn't you have liked to be prepared? Wouldn't you have liked to know what to do?"

"Shut up!" Kit yelled, punching Julian in the shoulder, flinging himself at the Shadowhunter angrily.

"Kit. Kit, stop," Jules said firmly. "You see? This is it. This is what you have to channel when you fight." Julian dropped his voice, holding Kit's wrists tightly to stop his punches. _Oh, please,_ Julian thought. _This is not the first tantrum I've dealt with. You are not the first furious, frightened Shadowhunter._ By the age of 7, Julian was already adept at stopping a 5 year old Ty from hurting himself or his siblings during meltdowns. "Kit, listen to me," he said quietly. "I know you're scared, and angry, and I know you want to go home. But the thing you have in common with every single person here is that we've all lost our parents. I know the Shadow World seems like somewhere you don't belong right now, but there is nowhere in the mundane world, or anywhere else, you will find where people understand how you feel better than right here."

"I thought this was the worst place in the world. Now you're telling me everywhere else is worse?" Kit shoved back. "Wow, thanks. Good to know the entire world sucks. And I'm not scared; not of you or any of your stupid family."

"Kit…" Julian sighed as he slammed his way out of the room. He turned to the others, who all looked mildly shell-shocked.

"Leave him," Emma said, putting a hand on her parabatai's arm. "It'll be okay. Give him space."

Ty watched Kit go, and squeezed his hand into a fist, bouncing it against his side, agitated. His head and stomach felt funny, like they were filled with radio static. Livvy glanced at his hand and then up at his face, at the deep crease of anxiety between his eyebrows.

"Ty-Ty, are you okay?" she asked, concerned. The whole room turned to him, worried and curious.

"Yes, yes I…I just have a headache, I think," he said absently, putting his throwing knife down on the table beside him. Livvy went to go after him but he waved her away. "I'll be okay. I might just read through my scholomance notes again in bed."

Julian and Livvy exchanged a worried look as Ty walked off down the corridor, his hands fluttering with some unusual and new feeling.

It felt like flu, symptomatically, Ty thought as he walked off down the hall. He felt…there was a word for it. Off-kilter, or…wrong. That was it. He felt wrong. There must be a way to explain it. He felt wrong. There must be a way to explain it. Julian didn't like when Ty said he felt 'wrong' because it didn't help anyone understand what he needed. But sometimes, when he couldn't pinpoint any other way to say it, 'wrong' was the only word that fit. The very second Kit had punched Jules, Ty felt a strange vacuum open up in his stomach, a fluttery, funny, sick sensation. He didn't want Kit to be sad and he had an odd feeling Kit wanted to run away. He guessed this because that's how he felt when he wanted to run away. Ty knew he could pitch fights far worse than Kit had with Julian. But he also knew the feeling that anger was the only way to handle the fear of the world shifting under your feet, to keep yourself clinging to something when the ground crumbled beneath you.

Kit shut the door to his room with a bang. _His room_. It wasn't his room at all. This was a room reserved for people like him; stragglers and hopeless souls with nowhere else to go. The very fact this room now housed him and his stuff was a damning indictment of just how well and truly screwed he was. He could feel his chin starting to tremble and rubbed a hand across his eyes roughly. He sunk down onto his mattress, and the fact it was soft and comfortable made him angry. He wanted hard and painful and something that would resist when he hit it. There was no satisfaction in hitting pillows. They were doormat acquiescent.

"'I have some papers here,' said my friend Sherlock Holmes, as we sat either side of the fire," a voice read. Kit felt a little of the tension in his head shift focus to somewhere in his chest. In an instant, he'd opened the door and pulled Ty to his feet and into the room, shutting the door behind him. Ty blinked at him, clutching his book protectively. Kit loosened his grip on Ty's wrist, and he could feel the racing pulse under his fingers. He let go.

"I'm sorry," Kit said softly. "Keep going."

"'I have some papers here,' said my friend Sherlock Holmes, as we sat either side of the fire, 'which I really think, Watson, it would be worth your while to lance over.'" Ty continued, sitting down at the dressing table. He sat on the pouffe with the book on the desk, reading quietly but calmly. The way his voice sounded made Kit's breath even out. He sunk onto the bed and laid down, turning toward the wall. He felt like, if a single person was nice to him or asked if he was okay, he'd break apart like glass. Like his tension experiment from a science fair in a world that felt like light years away now. That's why he liked Ty. Ty could make him feel better without ever doing any of that Freudian, analytical, psychological rubbish. With Ty, he never felt like he was being asked to pour out his soul. Ty never told him it would all be okay. He got the feeling Ty knew better than to lie to him. Or maybe Ty knew that in itself was okay, because Kit could make a new okay that was different but no less tolerable. Maybe it wouldn't _all_ be okay, but some of it might be, and that was enough. He could feel it happening again, his chin starting to tremble. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw tight, feeling the build-up of pressure, teeth on teeth. He would not cry. Not here. If he could help it, he wouldn't ever cry again. These Shadowhunters, these warriors made of skeleton of steel, wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing him cry. Poor, pathetic little human, without a single rune or battle scar. Damn them all, he thought furiously. He looked up and saw Ty watching him wide-eyed through the mirror. When Kit looked up, Ty abruptly turned back to his book. He stumbled over the next sentence before falling back into his eloquent, clear recitation. Except him, Kit thought. Damn them all except him.

Ty recovered himself and kept reading, but his heart was racing. He did not mess up when he read, especially not Sherlock Holmes. He knew this whole book like the back of his hand – which was a strange phrase, he thought. He supposed he did know the back of his hand quite well, but he wouldn't use it as the benchmark of familiarity. He could probably pick his out of a line-up. The voyance rune on the back would be a fairly compelling clue. But, idioms aside, he did _not_ mess up Sherlock Holmes. It made him feel strange that he had. And all because of…

"Kit," he said quietly.

"What?" Kit asked confusedly. His voice sounded tight.

"That's…that's the end," Ty said. He ran his finger down the binding between the end of the story he'd just read and the beginning of the next, and breathed out. He should say something to Kit. He turned around on the chair, glancing at the other boy.

"Are you okay?" Ty asked.

"What do you think?" Kit asked quietly. He wondered if Ty remembered the last time they'd had this conversation. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. That whole situation, visiting Kit's house, hadn't been great. And Ty…

"No. I don't think you are okay," Ty said after a moment, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Good guess," he said gently.

Ty stood up and paused beside Kit's bed. He took a deep breath, sat down on the edge and then – after a moment – lay back beside him. Kit's breath caught and he looked down to see Ty's hand bouncing against his chest. He closed his eyes, breathing steadily and slowly….slowly…the bouncing slowed and then stopped altogether. Kit turned his face to the side and watched the steady rise and fall of Ty's chest next to him. Up. Pause. Down. Pause. It was therapeutic, Kit thought, like watching the tide ebb and flow. That's what he wanted to do after this, he decided. Go and watch the tide. But maybe not. Here was nice. He wasn't sure he wanted to think about anything after this. He was okay right here for now.

"I never feel properly still," Ty said into the silence. Kit opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but something stopped him. It was something Ty had said earlier, on the way to the library that morning. _No one ever asks me how I feel about things,_ Ty had said _. They don't give me time to explain right, and once they've asked, and I've said I don't know because I haven't thought of what I want to say yet, they never ask again. They just assume I don't care, I suppose._ Instead, he stayed silent, hoping the quietude invited Ty to continue. Not twenty seconds later, Ty went on. "I always feel like I'm moving," Ty continued. "If it isn't my hands, it's my brain, always thinking and worrying and moving. Or it's my feet, or the butterflies in my stomach, or my eyes flicking around rooms trying to take everything in. Or it's my heart beating too fast, or my chest breathing too hard, or my whole body fidgeting. I'm never properly still."

"You're still now," Kit observed.

"I know," Ty replied, a smile spreading across his face. "Isn't it great?"

Kit nodded. "Yeah," he said, half to himself. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"I want to take you somewhere," Kit said, sitting up. A part of him wondered if he'd broken the spell, if Ty would sit up as one from a trance and wonder what had possessed him to lay here with Kit and talk and breathe and be. But he didn't. He stayed laid there, with his eyes closed.

"Where?"

"A library."

"We have one," Ty said, grey eyes opening slowly. The way Ty opened his eyes reminded Kit of a butterfly unfolding its wings. "It's downstairs. You've seen it."

"A mundane library, I mean," Kit said. "They have so many more books, and loads of detective stories. You'd be in your element."

Ty grinned, eyes scrunching as he smiled. "Okay, yes. I want to go."

"I'm not sure how we'll manage it," Kit admitted. "I don't think Julian entirely trusts me."

Ty pitched himself up onto his elbows. "I think we should ask him. I don't want to sneak out again."

Kit knew better than to push the topic and nodded. Ty stood up and Kit followed him from the room and down to the dining room where the rest of them sat, scribbling notes from books. Kit lingered uncomfortably behind as Ty strode into the doorway.

"Can I go out with Kit?"

Julian and Emma exchanged a quick look. Kit thought it was kind of amusing, like they were his parents.

"Well, where do you want to go?" Emma asked.

"The library," Ty answered, and Kit cut over him quickly.

"It isn't far," he assured them, coming further into the room. "Fifth Street. West. I used to go there all the time after my dad pulled me out of school. He had me do research and stuff there. It was where he sent me to work when he had meetings he didn't want me around for." Kit was vaguely aware he was rambling, and stopped sheepishly.

"I'll drive you," Julian offered.

"We can walk," Ty countered.

Livvy looked at Julian, silently begging him to say no, but she could see him considering. He didn't know what to do. He was worried, of course. He was always worried about Ty, more so after what had happened with the taxi cab. Julian knew it was wrong, but he still didn't entirely trust Kit. But…he looked up and watched the two boys. Ty's headphones were around his neck and he was smiling, his pale face flushed pink with happiness. Ty never asked for anything, let alone to go out with a friend. Hell, this was Ty's first friend. When they were younger the Blackthorns had gone around to the other institutes on visits. They would generally all make friends, even baby Tavvy charming the adults who lived there. Ty could make friends, but it took longer and was more difficult. Consequently, he would much prefer to cling to Livvy and follow her around, or alternatively, go and find somewhere quiet to play on his own.

Julian remembered a time when he was twelve, just a little before the Dark War had broken loose, visiting some Shadowhunters in Nevada, just a state over. There was some kind of meeting of all the heads of the western state institutes, a king of collaborative effort to fortify their sector, a way to build a relationship they were ever attacked and needed back up. Julian and Emma had gone off with Mark and the other teenage Shadowhunters. Even though the two of them were only twelve, and Mark had looked horrified when they tagged along with him, none of the others seemed to mind. The others had disappeared off somewhere else, except for Helen and Tavvy in her arms, who was being grown up and drinking elderflower wine with the adults, even though she was underage. Their dad said it was okay when Mark had complained that he wasn't allowed to drink, because she was sat with all the other adults. It was a couple of hours until Helen came to find Julian, Tavvy no longer on her hip.

"Where's Tavs?" Julian asked.

"With dad. Where's Ty?"

"He's with Livs, I guess. He hasn't been with me. Go ask Livvy," he added impatiently, embarrassed that his big sister had come to get him. He wanted to be grown up, like Mark and the other teenagers. None of their older siblings were coming to drill them. He wanted to get back to the game of truth or dare they were all playing, sat in a circle. Emma watched from where she sat, beside him.

"Julian…" Helen said, a warning tone creeping into her voice. When he didn't move, she sighed. "Fine. But if he's lost, you'll be in trouble, Julian Atticus Blackthorn."

"Ooh, full name," Emma teased when the game picked up once again. Julian, flushed red with embarrassment, elbowed her in the ribs, making her giggle.

"She's just overreacting," Jules said, rolling his eyes. "Ty always runs off. He'll be fine. He's just doing his weird Ty thing." He felt a weight of guilt settle in his stomach. They weren't allowed to call Ty weird, their father said. It wasn't nice, and it wasn't true. He shook the guilt off, getting back into the game, and tried to ignore the feeling of anxiety in his chest.

Half an hour later, Emma turned to see Andrew Blackthorn, Julian's father, striding into the room, looking furious.

"Julian, Mark, we're leaving now. Emma, your parents are downstairs. They're just finishing their drinks, so they want you downstairs in ten minutes."

"What's happening?" Mark asked as they followed Andrew from the room. Julian cast one quick look back at Emma, who shrugged, looking puzzled and worried.

"It's getting late, and Ty isn't well," their father said, voice tight. "Helen is with him. She's got the kids. She's in the foyer."

"By the Angel!" Mark said, and hurried off. Like Helen, he had a soft spot for Ty, and both siblings were often far better than their father at helping Ty calm down. When Julian and Andrew reached the hall where the portal was, Helen looked overwhelmed. Mark took Tavvy from where he was laid on the floor, wailing desolately. Andrew scooped up Dru into his arms and she clung tightly to him like a baby monkey. Livvy was crying quietly and Julian took her hand and drew her away from where Helen was crouched before Ty. She was knelt before him, saying his name over and over calmly and clearly, trying to get him to stay still for long enough to focus on her.

"Ty-Ty. Come on. We're going home. It's okay, it's okay. I've got you. It's alright. Deep breaths, Tibs. Slow your breathing down. It's going to be fine."

His hands were balled into fists at his temples, teeth clenched. He was huddled against the wall, rocking on the balls of his feet, making a sound somewhere between a groan, a yell, and a sob. Through his tightly shut eyes, tears leaked down his pale little face. He finally put his head down on his knees and hid his face, crying to himself as if his heart would break.

"Tell me about something, Ty-Ty," Helen said, suppressing the desperation in her voice. "Come on, let's get you home and all comfy in bed with your stuffed bee. Come on, tell me about digger bees. You like those, right?"

Ty was shaking his head fiercely, his sweat-damp hair stuck to his forehead. His whole body was shaking, and Andrew put his stele to the portal.

"Come on, Ty. We're going home. We'll run you a hot bath, get you some cocoa. It'll be alright, son."

Julian remembered Helen sinking down onto the sofa beside Julian. Mark had gone to bed, had read Dru to sleep, their dad rocking Tavvy to sleep in his arms. Helen looked absolutely exhausted.

"Is Livvy with Ty?" Jules asked quietly.

Helen nodded, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. "She's lying with him." She looked so defeated. "Why wouldn't you just help me find him?"

"I…I'm sorry," Julian said, ashamed. "What happened?"

"They said they didn't like him, the other kids," she told him. "They said he was weird, told him to go away. Livvy wasn't with him. She was with some of the other girls. So Ty did what they said, and he wandered off. He couldn't find any of us, and he got scared. I don't know. He wouldn't tell me much after that. He wouldn't tell me what they said. But he was crying and…" she trailed off. "Well, you saw…" She looked at Julian. "Why are kids so _mean_? They don't understand him at all. I don't even know if we do, Jules."

"We understand him better than anyone," Julian said defensively. "Especially Livvy. So what if some mean kids don't like him? He's fine just as he is."

Julian still believed that now, five years later, that Ty was perfect as he was, and didn't need to change. But he couldn't deny that Ty hadn't had many friends over the years. And now here he was, asking to go out someplace with a friend, and Julian couldn't say no.

"I'll drive you there. You can walk back, if you take a weapon," Julian compromised. "So long as you eat lunch first."

Ty beamed and sat down at the table by Livvy, Kit on the other side of him.

"Thank you," Kit said, as Emma passed him a bowl of salad and some tongs.

Livvy was staring at her plate, looking disbelieving. How could Julian let Ty go, put himself in danger again? She said nothing, but her head hurt. She was losing her best friend to the boy who'd nearly got him killed. And Julian was letting it happen.

"Wow," Ty breathed. "This is amazing."

In the atrium of the library, Kit and Ty stood, the latter looking ecstatic. It was so quiet, so many people were just reading together. It looked like heaven.

"Come on, let's go find the crime section," Kit offered, and then paused. "Actually, I wanna grab something. The crime section is over in the back corner. I'll come find you."

Ty nodded in agreement and went over to where Kit had directed him. When he reached the section marked 'detective fiction', he turned in one awestruck circle. He thought he perhaps looked strange, but he couldn't help it. The shelves seemed infinite, and he was surrounded by more detective books than he'd seen in his whole life. He turned to see a middle-aged lady putting books on the shelves from a cart. Everything had a place, an entire building alphabetised. Even though he didn't like it as much as the way he arranged his own books in his room, even though the books with covers in nice colours like blue were touching horrible orange-coloured ones, he didn't mind. It wasn't every day the world made a decision like this that Ty actually saw the logic behind.

"Excuse me," Ty said shyly, and the woman turned. "Do you work here?"

"I don't wear the name tag for fun," the woman said. She had a soft Texan accent that made Ty smile. "I'm just kidding you. What can I do for you?"

"Which of these detective books would you recommend?"

"Ah, well you've got a lot to choose from. What other books do you like?"

"I like Sherlock Holmes," Ty told her, following her down the line of shelves until she stopped.

"Okay, how about this?" she suggested, bending down and handing him a book. He read the cover and nodded.

"Thank you," he said, and claimed one of the empty tables, slinging his backpack onto the seat next to him. He looked at the book properly; The Dupin Mysteries by Edgar Allan Poe. It was a burgundy book, with a little beetle in the corner. Ty immediately liked it. He'd only just begun reading when Kit sat down opposite him and slid a book across the table to him. He put Dupin down and picked up the book Kit gave him.

"The London Eye Mystery by Siobhan Dowd," Ty read. He glanced up at Kit. "A mystery novel?"

"We read it in school. I think you'll like it. I've borrowed it for you, so you can take it back to the Institute. Want me to do this one too?" he offered, and Ty nodded, handing him the Dupin Mysteries.

"Thanks," Ty smiled, opening the book.

When Ty returned, Ty was holding the book by both hands, elbows on the desk and his nose buried in the pages, leaning so close Kit wondered how he could even read the words without them blurring together.

"Well, what do you think?" Kit asked.

"It's great," Ty said, not looking up.

"Remind you of anyone?"

"Me," Ty sad, and Kit could tell he was smiling even though his face was hidden by the book.

"We should probably head off," Kit said reluctantly. "I don't want to push it. I want Julian to let us go out again. I'm going to go stir crazy if I have to stay in there the whole time every single day."

"It's not that bad," Ty said, the two of them walking out into the sunlit streets. "You just aren't used to it yet."

"I suppose," Kit agreed. "I don't know. It's just difficult."

"I understand that," Ty replied contemplatively. "It is strange. I can't imagine being you. I can't imagine not knowing I was a Shadowhunter and then just being told to get used to it. I'd be terrified." He paused. "Can we do this again?"

"Go to the library?"

"Just go out anywhere, I mean."

Kit suppressed a smile. "Sure," he shrugged. "Sure thing."


	4. Chapter 4

"Do you think I did the right thing?"

Emma turned over to look at Julian, lying in bed beside her. This kept happening; they had these lapses of judgement and they would end up beside each other in bed. Sometimes, Emma woke up startled and angry with them both when she saw Julian beside her. In the days, self-restraint was easier. They had the kids to deal with then. She tried telling herself it was no different than how it always had been, that they slept together for comfort when nightmares descended. But she had to admit, it was more. It felt more, after what had happened on the beach. Julian felt different. When she rested her forehead against his back, the cotton of his shirt felt like an obstacle rather than an item of clothing. His gentle snores were maddening not because they disturbed her but because they were a reminder that the human need for sleep had no care for forbidden lovers and their need to talk every moment of every day that they were alone in order to feel like none of this was pointless. But it was, of course. Pointless. Sometimes, when Julian told Mark that something he was doing was in direct violation of Clave rules, Emma could hardly stop herself from exclaiming _'Everything we about everyone under this roof is! What about the LA Institute isn't a violation of stupid Clave laws? It's basically a requirement of living here at this point!'_

"About what?" Emma asked sleepily. Usually, she'd know without the need for an explanation. It was two in the morning though, so she forgave herself that.

"Letting Ty and Kit go out alone," Julian elaborated. "Do you think it was the right thing to do?"

"He came back, didn't he? He's fine."

"What if he hadn't?"

"Why would you even think about that?" Emma asked, sounding sleepily frustrated. "You're just torturing yourself."

"I know, it's just…"

"We did far more dangerous things when we were twelve, let alone fifteen," Emma reminded him. "Come on, Jules. It was a library, not a crack house." Julian laughed under his breath. "And besides," Emma went on. "You're being a hypocrite. Yes you are!" she added quickly as Julian opened his mouth to protest. "You are! You'd let Livvy go out with a friend – maybe even alone. We went out by ourselves when we were younger than Ty. You'd probably even let Dru go, and she's only thirteen!"

"It's different," Julian said, rubbing a hand over his face. Emma stroked a hand through his hair lazily, brushing it off his face. He smiled and put his arms around her as she laid her head against his chest. Emma remembered how it used to feel when she cuddled up to Julian, when he was six and with round edges, chubby cheeks and gappy teeth. Or when he was twelve and bony, all limbs and pointy elbows. Now, he was different. Hard muscles had formed under his tanned skin, his jaw had gotten stronger, his shoulders broader. Emma wondered if Julian ever thought about how she'd changed. She supposed he must have. She rolled over and he buried his face in the space between her shoulder blades. Her hair tickled his face, but he didn't mind. She turned back to face him and grinned, draping her own long hair over his brown waves.

"So pretty," Emma giggled.

"Well, blondes have more fun, right?" he countered.

"Maybe. You'll have to ask Mark," she grinned, shaking her head. Her hair fell back around her shoulders and she reached a hand out to write on his arm. _'Night, Jules.'_

 _'_ _Night, Emma.'_ he scribbled back.

When he woke up, she was gone. He walked downstairs, rubbing his eyes tiredly, and blinked in confusion at the sight of Emma doing dishes at the kitchen sink.

"You missed breakfast," she said, and pointed to a bowl on the table. "Tavs insisted on making you cereal anyway."

Julian went over to the bowl and spooned a small amount of cereal flakes up. They'd disintegrated into a pulpy mush and Julian let them fall back into the milk with a dismal 'plop'. Emma laughed.

"By the way, I was saying to Ty that maybe it was best he and Kit do what Tavvy's doing and just do written work until after Ty's interview. I think maybe yesterday was a good indicator that maybe we pushed him too hard when he's still getting used to all of this."

Julian nodded. "I think you're right. Besides, it might be good for Kit and Ty to be sparring partners. Livvy has a different fighting style to Ty."

"Yeah, because Ty's style is that he doesn't fight," Emma laughed. "But I agree. Maybe Livvy could work with Mark. She's amazing for her age, and Mark missed his training since he was her age. They're basically at the same level training wise. He obviously has the edge in hand to hand combat, but I think they'd work well."

"Sure. We could try it, at least."

Emma put the last glass upside down on the counter and turned to Jules. "I'm gonna go shower. Get breakfast, yeah?"

"Will do."

He put some bread into the toaster and wondered what the Institute would be like if he didn't have Emma.

"Kit and I are going to the beach," Ty told Emma as she walked into the training room. "Is that okay?"

"Sure thing," she nodded. "But you hate the beach."

"I'm exposing myself to it," Ty informed her. "It's called systematic desensitisation."

"Okay. Well, have fun," she said. "Take your phone!"

Ty waved a yes and went to knock on Kit's bedroom door. He had a backpack on his shoulders that was full and heavy. It always made Livvy giggle. ' _You look like a hiker, not a fighter,_ ' she'd say. Kit put his head cautiously around the door, but opened it fully when he saw who it was.

"Ty, hey. I was just reading the Codex."

"Do you want to come with me to the beach?" Ty asked. He watched as Kit's mouth turned up in a smile, his eyes crinkling up. Ty knew he wrinkled his nose sometimes when he was stressed or concentrating, or when he was smiling. He thought it was probably the last one. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes," Kit nodded. "I'll get my books and stuff. Two minutes."

Ty sat down in the hall and pulled his knees up, pulling his backpack off and getting out his copy of the library book Kit had found. The door opened again a few minutes later and Kit shut it behind him.

"The book is great," Ty commented, and put the ribbon back into it to mark his page as he put it in his backpack. He hitched the bag onto his shoulders; Kit's own books were in his arms. "Let's go. I asked Emma in case Julian said no, and I'd rather go now before he realises we're gone."

"Tiberius Blackthorn, you rebel."

Ty laughed and the two of them headed out of the door. The wind whipped at Kit's face on the hilltop the institute sat atop, but he could already tell the day would be hot, the sun beating down on the crown of his blonde head like a halo. It felt warm and comfortable, and Kit wondered if Julian would notice if Kit ran away and never came back. Maybe none of them would. He heard a laugh from ahead of him and looked up. Ty. Maybe Ty would notice. Well, he definitely would; Ty noticed when someone moved the vase on the hall table half an inch to the left. But he was an enigma. He sometimes didn't even notice when people came into and out of the room he was in if he was concentrating on something. In fact, people could ask him the same thing three times before he'd answer. But Kit got the feeling Ty would notice if he left. He wasn't sure why he was so certain of this fact, but he was.

"What are you laughing at?" Kit asked bemusedly.

"Watch," Ty said, pulling Kit by the arm to where he stood on the cliff's edge. Kit's heart raced and he stepped back quickly. He could still see what Ty was looking at, Ty's hand still on his arm. Down below, on the beach path, a man was walking a big dog – or rather it was walking him. The dog was ploughing along, zigzagging the pathway and tangling its leash in streetlights, the path of joggers, and its helpless owner. Kit smiled and glanced at Ty. He remembered what he'd thought the very first time he saw the Shadowhunter; 'how beautiful'. Not even personally; objectively Ty was beautiful. That was more of a fact, Kit believed, than an opinion. A lot of the time, Ty looked serious, like more thought happened in his head than in everyone else's. It sometimes made Kit feel tired just watching Ty exist. He looked like a philosopher, all contemplative and sombre, and so when he laughed, a deep weight settled itself in Kit's chest which was unfamiliar but not entirely unpleasant.

Ty wasn't as sure. Unfamiliar was the sensation that was coursing through his veins from the tips of his fingers that touched Kit's arm. But was it unpleasant? He wasn't sure. It had all the products of something that ought to be unpleasant; racing heart, a strange fluttering in his stomach, occasional flushes. Medically, this sounded like a disaster. Practically, it wasn't all that bad. They watched until the man with the dog disappeared from sight, and Ty kept his hand on Kit's arm for longer than necessary because his warm skin under Ty's cool hand felt good.

"What's…this?"

Kit looked at the rune Ty had drawn in the sand with his finger, then up at Ty.

"Awareness?"

Ty nodded. "Uh huh. Your turn."

"What is your favourite Nephilim text?"

"I…"

"Eye contact," Kit prompted. Ty nodded and looked up.

"I appreciate the texts of the Victorian era, when the Nephilim world was reaping the fruits of the mundane industrial revolution. The book that sums up the technological advances from the time is, to me, Henry Branwell's memoir ' _A Whoops and a Bang: The Shadowhunter of the Modern Age'_." He breathed out. "Was that good?"

Kit nodded. "Perfect."

Ty grinned, and scooped up a fistful of sand, letting the grains fall through his fingers like water. He dug his hands under the sand, burying them deep, warming them in the grains heated from the scalding LA sun. Ty was sat in the shade, and still it was hot. Kit was all tanned, his skin golden like his hair. Ty supposed Kit must be used to the sun. He looked down at the pale skin of his own wrist. Ty hated the heat, especially hated direct sun. If he had his way, it would be Fall all year round. When it was too hot, Ty would pull his bedroom curtains shut and sit in the room, his fan on and headphones over his ears to mask the whirring noise of it. Right now, though, he didn't mind it too much. It was tolerable. Kit wasn't tall enough to cast a very big shadow, so Ty was keeping his legs crossed to fit inside the small amount of shade Kit was casting. The feeling of sand between his fingers was relaxing, a therapeutic hourglass with an infinite bottom.

"What are you doing?" Kit asked.

"It was me next," Ty said. "I was thinking of a question."

"Sorry," Kit said. "Ask me a question."

"What's…this?" Ty asked, drawing a rune in the sand with a stick, his other hand still picking up and raining sand.

"Good luck."

"Uh huh," Ty nodded.

"What are you doing?" Kit asked again.

"There was a philosopher called Henry David Thoreau who said that 'Time is like a handful of sand…'"

"'…The tighter you grasp it, the faster it runs through your fingers.'" Kit finished. "You're testing his statement, aren't you?"

Ty nodded shyly. "None of my family care about that stuff."

"Philosophy was one of my electives at school."

"What were your others?" Ty asked, watching the tide darken the sand at the shoreline as it lapped in and out.

"AP physics and photography."

"All of your electives start with 'ph'," Ty observed.

"I never noticed that."

"Photography? I haven't seen you take any photos."

Kit felt suddenly queasy. He knew exactly why he hadn't been taking photos recently. If his dad had been here, he would've noticed too. That's when they both knew it was getting bad again, that Kit's temper was wearing thin, and he'd soon snap. Right now, Kit was too miserable to be particularly angry anymore. It was less like a constant bubbling and more like a volcano. Like with Julian yesterday, when he'd blown up at him when they were training. He was empty and then suddenly he was furiously explosive. Worse, he didn't even really feel enough of anything to be creative. Sometimes, when he was mad or sad, his pictures came out more emotive. He'd tried to photograph some stuff this morning, and every single one came out looking stiff and wooden. He felt utterly empty, like his brain couldn't even begin to process the sadness and mourning and fury until it was too late and he found himself lashing out.

"I guess I haven't had time," Kit shrugged.

"That's too bad," Ty said, laying back in the sand.

 _You have no idea_ , Kit thought. Sometimes, he thought photography was the only thing that kept him sane. When he was twelve and terrified of the demons other people didn't see, when he was fifteen and confused by the constant stream of mysterious people coming into and out of their living room, when he'd spent his ninth birthday blowing out the candle on the cupcake his dad had bought, swearing he'd be down a couple of hours ago. Any of that could have driven him mad. But they didn't, because he could hide from it all behind his camera. He'd experimented with everything; taping pieces of card with circles cut out over the lens, adjusting the settings to capture the transient secrets written in the light of sparklers on New Year's. It was by his bed, and when he couldn't sleep, he'd lean right out of the big bay window, clinging to the pane with one hand, and take endless pictures of an LA caught in vulnerable slumber. He'd thrifted an old tie to make a strap. It was his prized possession. If anything have happened to it that night…A wave of guilt rocked him like a boat on a rough sea. There was no way to say how sad he'd have been to lose his camera in the attack when he'd lost his dad. He'd lose everything – books, camera, every material possession – to have his dad back for just one hour.

"Kit? Why are you crying?"

Kit snapped from his reverie sharply, putting a hand to his cheek. A single tear was running down his face, more welling in his eyes. He wiped them roughly, cheeks flushing. This was his time to be alone, and sad. He wished Ty would just get lost. Well, no… not exactly. He wished he'd kept it together, not been so weak. He wondered if Ty would go and tell Livvy that Kit had been crying about cameras.

"I'm not crying," Kit snapped. "The salt from the sea and the wind blowing the sand up, it's getting in my eyes."

"I have some sunglasses in my bag, I think," Ty offered. Of course you bloody do, Kit thought bitterly. Thinking it made him more angry; with himself for blaming Ty just because he was the only person who would get close enough to be made guilty by association, with the Shadowhunters as a whole for not doing their job well enough to save his dad, and at Johnny. For leaving him when he needed a father most. For being a bad dad, a deadbeat dad, a dead dad. He picked up a rock and hurled it hard into the ocean. He saw Ty look across at him and, feeling somewhat judged, Kit got to his feet, collecting up his books.

"I'm going for a walk," he declared.

"But, Jules said…"

"I don't care!" Kit yelled. Ty flinched. "I don't care what he said! He's not my dad, and he's not yours! They're dead, both of them!"

"But we're not," Ty said shakily, stock still where they'd been sitting.

"I wish I was!" Kit shouted, and dropped his books in the sand. "And don't follow me," he added, voice splintering furiously, as he disappeared behind a sand dune.

Ty dropped down where he was onto his knees in the sand, and set about leaving a breadcrumb trail. A marker. An X to mark the spot. Three rocks in a triangle pointing toward where Kit had headed, on the place where they'd been. A clue for later. He grabbed the books Kit had left behind and put them in his backpack, before slinging it onto his shoulders and setting off running. Ty wasn't really a running person, especially not on the sand that was contrary enough to be solid and pleasant one moment, then liable to sink into loose, sliding patches that had more than once twisted Livvy's ankles when they'd played tag on the shoreline. But, nevertheless, he was home in less than ten minutes, flying through the Institute door and dumping his bag by the entryway.

"Julian!" he shouted, running to the bottom of the stairs. He knew where Julian would be; the training room. "Julian!"

Footsteps came running overhead, before Julian emerged down the stairs with the rest of the Blackthorns and Emma in tow.

"Ty, what's wrong?" Julian asked, voice tight and worried.

"Kit! He said he was going for a walk and not to follow him!"

Julian sighed, exhaling in relief mixed with thinly-veiled frustration. "Is that all?" he asked. "Ty, sometimes people want to be on their own. That's fine. He knows the area, he won't get lost. Don't worry."

"I know that! You don't understand!" Ty protested. "He's sad and…and angry."

"Are you sure?" Julian asked gently, and Ty scowled. He knew sometimes he wasn't the best at reading emotions all the time, but now he knew he was right. He had a feeling Kit thought he was very closed off, that he was unreadable. Not to Ty. Ty could read him like a book. In fact, Ty felt like he could read Kit better than anyone else, sometimes better than he could read himself. He remembered what Kit had said; that he wished he was dead. Ty didn't care what Kit had said, Ty knew he'd been crying. Ty also got the feeling he shouldn't tell Julian this. At least not right now. But he was in no doubt he was right.

"I am not lying!" Ty said angrily.

"How do you know?" Julian asked. "I'm not saying you meant to lie, I'm just saying…"

"I just do know!" Ty snapped. "I'm not stupid. How do _you_ know that _I'm_ frustrated?"

"You're right. I'm sorry. Right, come with me to find him." He turned to the others. "Mark, will you come too?"

"I'll stay here in case he comes back," Emma said.

"I'm coming too," Livvy said stubbornly enough that no one argued. She took Ty's hand as they went outside, Ty leading the way. "What happened?" she asked him quietly.

"I can't tell you," Ty said, sounding agonised.

"But we tell each other everything," Livvy said, shocked and sad. Ty glanced away.

"I know. I'm sorry," Ty said. "I just can't. It's not mine to tell."

"What is this?" Mark asked, when they drew closer to the formation of rocks Ty had left hurriedly in his wake.

"A clue. I left it," Ty said, sounding pleased. "This is where we were sat, and it's pointing in the direction he went."

"Clever," Julian nodded, impressed. "I'll follow this arrow then. He could've split off though," he pointed out sensibly. "Mark, you go left. Ty, Livs, head right."

Mark nodded, diverting off with his shoes dangling in one hand. He liked being barefoot, and would gladly welcome the cold floor of the Institute under his rough soles instead of wearing socks.

"Stick together!" Julian shouted after the twins.

"We're fine," she assured him, and Jules disappeared behind a dune just as Kit had done. It made Ty shiver, and Livvy turned to him. "Let's head up to the cliffs."

They took the winding path up toward the cliffs edge, where the wind was pleasantly mild. It would've usually been blustery this high up, but on a humid day it was a welcome relief. Livvy and Ty walked close by each other's side, eyes scanning for blonde hair and lanky limbs.

"How are you doing?" Livvy asked.

"With what?"

"You don't like change," she pointed out. "How are you feeling about Kit being here?"

Ty thought for a moment. "I don't mind change if it's good."

"What makes it good?" Livvy asked curiously. Ty shrugged. "I love you, Ty-Ty. Don't forget that, yeah?"

Ty looked across at her. "Of course I won't. What's wrong?"

Livvy shook her brown hair. "Nothing. I'm just being stupid."

Ty took her hand and she squeezed gently. That, Livvy thought, was more than enough to remind her Ty loved her. He didn't need to say it out loud for her to know that.

The ringing of Julian's phone pulled him out of his reverie. He clicked to accept the call and Emma's voice filled his ears, making the skin of his neck prickle.

"Hey, any luck?"

"Not yet, no," he sighed. "Hang on, I'll put a few runes on and see if that helps." He pulled his stele from his belt and slashed some runes across his arms; awareness, clarity, enlighten, guidance. It was annoying they couldn't just track him. They ought to call a warlock, but Malcolm wasn't exactly on hand anymore. "Okay, I'm back."

"Well, I just wanted to check. Should I call for Magnus to come over and track him if he isn't back tonight?"

He almost laughed. She seemed to be psychically linked to him.

"We'd probably better, yeah," Julian admitted reluctantly. "What will he think? Us, losing a brand new Shadowhunter?"

"We'll find him. It might just take some time," Emma assured him. "I'll let you go. Good luck."

Julian was starting to believe their mission may be two things; pointless and thankless. He had a feeling that maybe Kit didn't want to be found. Or, more likely, he did want to be found but not by them. Or he wanted to be found, but he didn't want to want to be found. Julian shook himself. He was going around in circles – figuratively, not in his search. He vaguely recalled something he'd heard that if you blindfolded a person, they would walk in a spiral. Jules wasn't sure under quite what circumstances this was discovered, but he assumed it involved alcohol. The sun was starting to wane as noon edged further into the past, the sun regressing similarly. He checked his watch. Six. It would be getting dark soon, and late. Julian wasn't sure he would sit still if he had to go back without Kit in tow. As frustrating as Kit was, Julian wanted him to be safe, with them. Since Julian's father had died, he'd noticed that he'd become increasingly paternal, had a strong urge to look after those under his care. Even with Mark, who he'd hoped would take over some of the responsibility to give Jules a break, he couldn't help but perform a kind of paternal role. Perhaps that wasn't fair, because Mark had taken a lot of the pressure off him and Emma. If they needed to take two people on a mission now, the two of them could feel safe in the knowledge someone was there for the kids. Diana had disappeared into the ether after what had happened with Malcolm, Cristina had one home to see her family, and Arthur wasn't any help.

For the longest time, when it had been just Emma and Jules, aged sixteen and old enough to go on missions, there was a constant internal struggle between a desire to help protect the mundanes and a greater desire to protect their children. One of the reasons Julian believed they were both such strong fighters was because, so often they'd each had to handle double missions alone. The Clave couldn't be tipped off about their predicament by unanswered calls to action, and so Emma had gone out slashing demons while Julian sprinted around after a small hurricane of Blackthorn. A househusband, Emma always said, cleaning her blade beside Julian as he washed dishes. He still remembered the day they'd decided that's how it would work.

The first time they'd been sent a mission that, they'd agreed, required the attention of both of them. A Ravener was lurking on their turf, violent and hell-bent on terrorising unsuspecting mundanes. The kill count was up to five and the mundane police were crying serial killer. It was imperative they handled it, the Clave said, because a media frenzy was growing and needed to be quashed. It was awful. The demon was awful. The battle was awful. The wounds were awful. But the worst part was the carnage they returned to. Tavvy was five, crying in the hall and banging his chubby fists against the floorboards. Dru, ten, had cut herself a fringe with blunted scissors, the ends jagged and uneven. Livvy and Ty were twelve, almost thirteen. She was shaking and Ty was holding her in his arms, saying the same word over and over in the scared, desperate tone Julian recognised; 'Sorry'. That was the voice that meant he'd done or said something he didn't mean to in a moment of panic. Julian and Emma had rushed into sorting the carnage out, and Julian had cried that night because he was failing them all, was doing a terrible job. It was times like those Julian wondered why the Angel had done this, had given him a responsibility that he was not old enough, wise enough, or prepared enough to handle. But then Tavvy presented him with a drawing of them, with arms like snowmen and flowers twice their size around them. Dru would hold his hand when they went for a walk. Or Livvy would pass a test she and Julian had been working on preparing her for and she'd come running to tell him, waving her paper happily, ready for him to hug her and tell her he was proud. Or Ty would lean in to him when they were watching TV, smiling up at him when Jules stroked his little brother's hair. And then it all made sense, why the Angel had done it. They were all so perfect, so wonderful, so kind, so _his_. He loved them, and wanted to look after them. And, similarly, he wanted to do the same for Kit.

He looked up, pulled from his nostalgia, and stopped still. Sat on a rock, throwing rocks into the ocean from where he sat, one overarm throw after another, one quiet splash and plume after another. Kit. Julian picked up a rock and tossed it into the sea, the splash it made on impact in Kit's eye line as he pulled his arm back. He seemed to pause for a moment to consider what just happened before realising and turning to where Julian stood.

"Hi," Julian said quietly. Kit was glaring at him through narrowed eyes, and he looked as if he were considering bolting, fleeing the situation. Julian didn't blame him. "Can I sit down?" he asked, nodding to the rock Kit sat on. Kit shrugged and looked away, which Julian optimistically decided to assume was a 'yes'. "What are you doing?" Julian tried. Kit shrugged again. When Julian didn't say anything, Kit replied.

"Sitting. Throwing rocks."

"Yeah? Is it helping?" Julian pressed.

"No," Kit said shortly. "Nothing helps."

"Helps with what?"

"You know," Kit said, quietly angry. And Julian did know. But he wanted to hear it from Kit, wanted him to know that he needed to say it and own it for them to be able to help him. That's what he always told the kids when they were sulking and wouldn't say why. "My dad is dead," Kit said hollowly.

"Mine too," Julian replied. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

Kit reached down and dislodged a chunk of stone from the boulder he sat on, nodding. "Yeah," he said, hurling the rock he held into the ocean. He slammed a first down on the hard surface beneath him. The pan ricocheted up his arm, but it still felt a little better. The racing inside him was slowing, like some of the anger might have sunk into the stone as he hit it. He did the same, again and again, until Julian said his name, quietly and calmly. Kit sat back, sweating and breathing hard. Julian remembered Emma, young and scared, clutching Cortana so tightly it had cut her, after her parents were declared dead. When he looked at Kit, he couldn't help but think of her.

"I'm sorry," Julian said, looking up at the darkening sky above. He could see the moon, a thin crescent, over the ocean. Emma would be worrying. He hoped Mark and the twins had gone home by now. He wanted to text all four of them, but he stopped himself from pulling out his phone. Kit had to know he was listening, that he wasn't dismissing the anger.

"Why are you sorry?" Kit asked, looking out at the darkening sea water. It was giving way from blue to a deep, less distinguishable colour, fringed white lacy edges where waves broke and sea foam rose and melted. Julian couldn't help but think of the original story of the little mermaid, where she melts to sea foam and dies for her prince. He wondered what kind of stupid and terrible moral that was, then wondered briefly – fleetingly really – whether he'd do the same. He wouldn't, obviously, he decided. Anyway, if he turned to sea foam that would probably have detrimental effects on Emma and their Parabatai bond too.

"Because our family is kind of…intense," Julian admitted. "We've always been around each other, always been a huge family. Sometimes I guess we forget that isn't what everyone is used to. It must be weird being an only child and then being thrown into our…mess."

"It's just different, I guess," Kit shrugged. "I don't know."

"A little," Kit admitted. "I'm used to having the house to myself. It wasn't that weird at home to go two days without talking to my dad or anyone else. It was like living by myself."

"So you're probably used to more independence than you have here," Julian reasoned. "It isn't really you we worry about when we're hesitant for you to go out with Ty."

"I know," Kit nodded. "It must be tough. I have a feeling the Clave aren't huge fans of Shadowhunters with Asperger's."

"With what?" Julian asked.

"Asperger's? Isn't that what Ty has?" Kit asked, then realised he might have jumped to conclusions. "Sorry, I didn't mean to assume anything."

No, no," Julian said absently. "It's…it's fine. But back to you," Kit saw him almost swallow back what he was thinking, push it to the back of his mind. Kit wondered if he'd said something wrong about Ty. "If you need space, Kit, we can give you space," Julian went on. "Emma and I were saying that maybe until you've read through the Codex, we'll hold off with physical training. How does that sound?"

Kit nodded. "Good."

"Maybe teaching yourself with Ty isn't working for you," Julian conceded. "If you want to work on your own, that's okay. He will understand. I'll explain it to him if you prefer?"

"No! Please!" Kit said quickly. "Please let me keeping working with Ty."

Julian glanced across. Kit was looking at him, properly looking at him, for the first time since Julian had found him here on the beach. He smiled, and a flicker of a smile was returned in Kit's eyes.

"Come on, let's go back. Ty and Livvy will probably be going crazy wondering where you are."

"Julian," Kit said, when they reached the Institute door. Julian paused and squeezed the boy's arm gently.

"It's okay," he said softly, and pushed the door open.

A whirlwind of chaos descended as the door opened. Ty, leaning over the bannister to watch the door, ran down the stairs. He stopped uncertainly in front of Kit.

"I was worried," he said, looking down at Kit, who only came up to the boy's jaw. Kit had to tilt his chin up to reply. When he went to meet Ty's eyes, the Shadowhunter looked away. Kit's heart squeezed in disappointment. Ty looked betrayed, and Kit reached a hand out.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. As his fingers brushed Ty's arm, the Shadowhunter flinched away like the touch was painful.

"Okay," Ty nodded. He turned to Julian. "Magnus and Alec are with their children in the lounge."

"What?" Julian asked, looking up sharply.

"We were worried you wouldn't find him," Dru said. "Right, Emma?"

"I thought it was best, before it got dark," Emma admitted. "I didn't know what would be best if you came back without him."

Julian nodded. "I better go and tell them they can go home. Everyone, go to sleep," he said. He turned to Kit. "That includes you. Get some rest, Kit."

He turned, heading toward the lounge, Emma behind him. He was about to protest, was about to say she ought to go to bed too. He somehow knew she wouldn't agree. She'd already stayed behind when they went out looking for Kit. He knew what she'd say; 'You don't get to pretend I don't exist because of what's happening between us, Julian Blackthorn. You don't get to ignore the fact I raised them too.' He turned to her and smiled, taking her wrist. On the skin there, he wrote a single word: 'thanks'.

She turned her wrist over and took his hand, squeezing it gently. "It's okay," she said quietly. "You'll love the kids," Emma added as they reached the door to the lounge. "They're totally adorable."

Julian smiled and pushed it open. Inside was the kind of perfect-looking family he always wished he'd been able to coral his own small army of children into. Magnus had a small, tanned boy with black hair on his lap, sleeping quietly against his chest. He was singing a song softly in a language Emma recognised from Cristina as Spanish.

 _"_ _Duérmete mi niño, duérmete mi amor_

 _duérmete pedazo de mi corazón._

 _Este niño mío que nació de noche_

 _quiere que lo lleve a pasear en coche._

 _Este niño mío que nació de día_

 _quiere que lo lleve a la dulcería._

 _Duérmete mi niño, duérmete mi amor_

 _duérmete pedazo de mi corazón."_

A little blue-skinned warlock baby was on Alec's knee, crossed-legged in lion footsies pyjamas.

"What do…dogs say?" he whispered.

"Woof woof," Max replied, clapping his blue hands together happily.

"What do cats say?"

"Meowww," Max answered. He looked down at his pyjamas and gasped excitedly. "Lions are a kind of cat!"

"They are." Alec nodded. "Big, big cats." Max gave a lion roar and Alec shushed him, smiling. "Rafael is sleeping," he said. "Come on, let's keep playing. What do cows say?"

"Moo."

"What does…" He grinned mischievously at Magnus, who gave Alec a warning look. "What does papa say?"

"More glitter!" Max parroted, pleased when Alec burst out laughing.

"I really wish you hadn't taught him that," Magnus said. Alec hugged Max closer, kissing his navy curls.

"Don't listen," Alec grinned. "It's my favourite thing."

Rafael stirred, curling against Magnus. He pointed and his dads turned to see Emma and Julian in the doorway.

"Hi, Julian. Sorry, we didn't have anyone to look after the kids this late," Magnus said, watching as Rafael wriggled off his lap and went over to his small bag, pulling out a book. "They're a little grumpy now because they want story time."

"Well we absolutely didn't mean to interrupt story time," Emma said, giving Max and Rafael apologetic looks. "I'm sorry. We'll let you get to bed soon."

"We found Kit," Julian said, sitting down on the sofa opposite them. Emma came and sat beside him. "He was on the beach, must have been there a while."

Rafael tugged on Alec's sleeve, brown eyes wide and imploring.

"Okay, go and get the book you want," he said, and put Max down. "Both of you pick together." He turned to Magnus. "I'll look after them. You sort the Kit situation."

"The Kituation," Emma whispered to Jules, who rolled his eyes.

Alec knelt down beside Max and Rafael, who were rifling through the bag, pulling out books.

"One, one," Alec said firmly. "You can pick _one_."

Magnus glanced at them fondly, and then turned back to Jules and Emma.

"Is he okay?" he asked. "Kit, I mean."

"Just angry," Julian sighed. "Sad."

"Understandable." Magnus nodded. "I'm glad he's okay."

"I just don't know what to do with him." Julian sighed, rubbing a hand across his face tiredly.

Emma put a hand on his shoulder and stroked his back slowly, calmingly. "You're doing your best," she said softly.

"It's not enough," Julian replied. "He's miserable."

"Of course he is. His dad just died. He hasn't got any other family. He's just scared, Jules. That's not anyone's fault, least of all yours."

"Can I offer some advice?" Magnus asked.

"Please," Julian said, a tired laugh escaping him. "Anything would be helpful."

"We found Rafael in a fairly bad state," he said. "In the Dark War, when the institutes were attacked all over the world, we found him in the rubble of the Buenos Aires Institute. I don't know how long he'd been there. He was so skinny, all dirty and frightened." Magnus looked across at him lovingly, sadly. "He hardly sleeps. He doesn't talk. It took us a long time to get him to start eating, before he'd let us anywhere near him. And I remember just thinking, 'I just want to hold you so tight and love you so much that you're never scared again.' But…you can't do that."

He looked over to see Rafael watching Max, jabbing at pictures with stubby fingers like fat blue crayons, saying nothing but smiling widely. Magnus smiled.

"I can't protect him. I can't stop him crying out gibberish that Alec and I don't understand when he sleeps. I can't change what happened to him. I can only make it so he gets a future that's better than it would've been if we hadn't found him. Sometimes, Jules, that's all you can do to start with. You have to remember that any improvement on the life of a kid whose world is broken is more than enough."

"How do you talk to him?" Emma asked, stepping in so Julian didn't have to talk. "Rafael, I mean. If he doesn't speak…?"

"We don't need him to talk for him to communicate with us," Magnus replied. "He likes lots of this, and he'll smile when we talk about them. He likes Spanish lullabies, and dancing and his light-up sneakers. We don't always get it right. We're still learning, and so is he," Magnus said proudly, intently. "Clary thinks he'll start talking now he knows he's safe with us, and…" he stopped himself, laughing bashfully. "Sorry, you don't realise how much you want to talk about them, do you?"

Julian nodded, smiling. "No, I know. I could talk about mine all day."

Alec, who had been absently watching, both Rafael and Max asleep on his lap, felt a tug at his heart. He knew he wasn't all that much older than Julian, only twenty-two himself, but it upset Alec possibly more than it should have to hear a seventeen year old talking about his siblings the two of them spoke about their sons. Alec wondered if Julian ever felt like he'd lost his childhood, whether he was taking on too much responsibility. Before his train of thought could go any further, the door opened. A blond-haired boy with mismatched eyes looked around the room.

"Greetings," he said quietly, seeing the two sleeping children. "Might I speak to Julian?"

"Sorry, we should let you go get the kids home to bed," Emma said, to Magnus and Alec.

Alec smiled gratefully. Magnus bent down and scooped Max into his arms, where the little warlock settled against his shoulder, rubbing his eyes. Alec held Rafe carefully, an arm under his knees and the other tight on his back.

"Give us a call," Alec whispered to Julian as Magnus opened a portal. "We'll see you soon. We're glad Kit's okay."

Julian waved them goodbye. It made him smile the way Alec had said it; ' _We're_ glad Kit's okay', as if they were one person. Just like him and Emma. When Mark had left, and Emma had reached the door herself, he caught at her arm.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" he asked. He'd never had to ask before. But it was different now. She nodded, and disappeared upstairs, Julian not far behind.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days later, Julian came and knocked on Kit's door to wake him – far too early, Kit felt. Or would have usually felt. He'd been awake for hours.

"You up, Kit?"

He opened the door, dressed all in black, an old gear jacket of Julian's thrown over a black shirt.

"Ready," he said. "How's Ty?"

"Stressed," Julian sighed.

"Can't blame him," Kit reasoned.

"You have no idea," Julian replied. "It's his dream. He's wanted it for as long as I can remember. I think he'll like it there. They're so academic, like him. The rest of us are more…fighters." He paused. "Kit, about what you said on the beach…about Ty…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Kit said. "It wasn't, like, a jab at him. It's not a bad thing. I…"

"No, I just wanted to know what…"

"Julian!" Dru shouted from somewhere in the Institute. "Livvy wants you. Ty won't unlock his door."

"Come on," Julian said, beckoning Kit with him down the hall. Kit nodded.

It was the day of Ty's Scholomance interview, and Livvy and Kit had agreed to go with him for moral support. Kit wasn't sure he was the best choice of person to join them, would rather have elected Julian in his place. Since that day on the beach, Ty had barely spoken to him. Kit had to keep himself from checking whether Ty was sat outside his bedroom door every few minutes. He knew there was no one there. He just sort of hoped there would be. He remembered what Ty had said to him when Julian had brought him back to the Institute; "I was worried." It was such a simple statement, but there were a million emotions in those three words; fear, betrayal, sadness, anger, concern. Since then, Ty had seemed distant, like he didn't want to get close to Kit's flame and end up burnt. Kit had told himself it wasn't that, that it was just Ty was worried for the interview. Truthfully, he wasn't sure. The thing that Kit found most difficult was that Ty had gone back to not looking at him in the eye. He knew he shouldn't complain, knew that Ty rarely did make eye contact, especially with people he'd only known a week. _But he did with me_ , Kit thought in frustration. _He made eye contact with me_. Now, he jumped whenever Kit touched him, and it made Kit's heart ache. Partially, it hurt because he knew Ty wasn't doing it intentionally, wasn't trying to hurt him. He had no idea how to fix it.

"He's not mad at you," Julian said, as if he could read Kit's mind. _Spooky_ , Kit thought with a shiver. He fought the urge to scream in his head to see if Julian flinched. "He's just scared."

"Of what?" Kit asked.

"My guess? That he's done something wrong, or will do something wrong. A lot of people find Ty…pedantic," Julian explained. "He's probably trying not to get too close to you in case you take off."

Kit was about to say he wasn't planning on anything like that when they reached Ty's room and he spotted Livvy outside, her forehead against Ty's door, speaking to him through the wood.

"Come on, Ty-Ty. Let me in. It will be okay."

"You don't know that," a voice said from inside the room. "Everything could go wrong."

"But it could go right," Livvy argued. "We can talk about it. Open the door, Ty. It's okay."

There was a pause before Ty replied. "Who else is there?"

Livvy glanced over her shoulder. "Julian and Kit."

Another silence punctuated the air before Ty spoke. "Just you, Livvy. No one else." The sound of a lock sliding broke the quiet, and Livvy cast Julian a triumphant look of relief before slipping into the room and locking the door behind her. She watched as Ty walked back over to where he'd been before, curled on his bed, feet tucked up to the backs of his legs and hands clamped over his ears. He was rocking a little, his feet moving as if they'd decided to go for a run but had neglected to let the rest of him know. She sat down on the edge of the bed carefully. Ty felt the springs move under him as she did so and readjusted himself impatiently to accommodate the shift.

"What if they say no?" Ty asked.

"They won't say no," Livvy told him quietly. "You've been preparing for this for years."

"What if it isn't enough?"

"Well, then there's nothing more you could have done."

Ty groaned. "That's worse! That means nothing could have got them to say yes and I'll have wasted _years_ on a futile goal!"

Livvy lay down carefully beside him and stroked his hair carefully, one dark wave after another. He relaxed slowly, though she could still hear his breath coming in ragged gasps. She loved him so much and they were so close that she almost felt as if her own heart was picking up speed to match her twin's. He'd taken his hands away from his ears though, which was something.

"It's going to be alright, Ty-Ty," she said softly.

"What if it isn't?"

"Then you come home, and we love you just as much as we always have, centurion or not."

"I can't come home," he said, frustrated. "I'll have disappointed everyone. This is my only chance. I can't fight, Livvy, not like you guys can. This is my only opportunity to make a valuable contribution as a Shadowhunter."

"That's not true, Ty," Livvy reasoned. "You can make a valuable contribution as you are. You don't need to study at the Scholomance to be valuable."

"Well, being as I am hasn't gone over very well with the Clave thus far," Ty said bitterly, scrunching his nose up. "I'm not sure the Clave will be thrilled when you're all out fighting and I'm here just being as I am, doing nothing, contributing nothing."

"It will be okay," Livvy repeated, running her hands through his hair soothingly.

"You keep saying that," he complained. "What if it isn't true? It's a Schrödinger's cat situation. Until I go, I'm in a simultaneous state of being accepted and rejected from the Scholomance. Until I go, I'll never know which it is."

"If you miss this interview, I can tell you which it will be right now," she said firmly. "You're logical, Ty. You know you have to leave this room eventually. Come on, get up. I'll help you check you've got everything."

"All my stuff is ready," Ty told her. "They're all in my bag, all my essays and notes and things." Livvy got up and Ty sat up beside her, looking down at his hands. "It will be okay," he repeated to himself quietly. "Right?" he asked, and Livvy nodded. "Okay, let's go," he said, unlocking his door and grabbing his bag before following Livvy down the hall.

The portal spat the three of them out in a courtyard. Kit looked up, and insanity froze. Surrounding them, on the balconies high up on the buildings surrounding the quadrangle, stood a crowd of scholars with bows and arrows trained on them. Kit barely had time to process how utterly awful portalling was, and how sick it made him feel.

"Stay where you are," one robed person showed. The three of them stopped still in terror. "Who are you?"

"Tiberius Nero Blackthorn of the Los Angeles Institute," Ty said quickly. "I'm here for an interview. I have a permission letter. These are my friends. They're here with me."

One of the archers made an unintelligible noise and from him, like a rippling wave, all the bows were lowered. Ty breathed out, relaxing on his feet.

"Come," the same man barked, and the three of them surged forward, eager to be out of firing range, following him as all of the others melted away back into the grounds. The man said nothing as they walked, and Ty could hear his own heart beating in his head, his pulse thudding in his temples. It felt like someone had reached into his chest and started writhing their hands around, like someone was punching his lungs and stomach. The gardens themselves were beautiful, big mazes of hedgerows and fountains dotted around, gazebos made of white wood. Ty could happily imagine himself here, sat with a big book on his lap behind a curtain of willow fronds. Livvy could visit, and Kit. And no one would make him fight, and he'd never have to throw a knife again, and he would be successful as a scholar, and that would be just as important as being a warrior. When they reached a set of large double doors, the man peeled off down a corridor.

"It's the first door at the top of the staircase. Wait outside. And be quiet."

The three of them sat down on the seats outside the room they'd indicated. Occasionally, Scholomance attendees would walk past, usually carrying armfuls of books, scrolls, or parchment. Every so often, one would cast them in imperious look, one of confusion as to why they were there. Livvy shuffled uncomfortably in her chair.

"Are you sure you like it here?" Livvy whispered. "It seems kind of…unfriendly."

"I don't need it to be friendly. I need it to help me become a scholar." Ty replied. "Besides, it's quiet, and they have loads of books."

Livvy squeezed his knee gently. "Okay," she said quietly. The door opened and she added, "Good luck."

"Tiberius Blackthorn," the interviewer said sharply. Ty stood up and followed her without looking back, the door thumping shut behind him. The woman sat down opposite him at a desk, and gestured to the empty seat. Ty sat, pulling out his essays and notes, and laying them out on the table in front of him. He kept his eyes down on the desk and she sighed. "Adelaide Cartwright," she said sharply, sticking her hand out for Ty to shake. Looking down at his notes, he didn't notice, and she looked annoyed as she imperiously drew back her hand. "I'm led to believe you are Tiberius. Is that correct?"

"Yes, did your son go to the Shadowhunter Academy?"

"What relevance does that have?"

"None, I don't think," Ty replied. "I was just curious. My sister gave a lecture there. I remembered the name Cartwright."

"If we might focus on the interview at hand?" she said impatiently. "Please hand me your essays. I shall read them now. Please be patient."

Ty handed them over and sat back, watching the papers in Adelaide's hands as she read. He watched as she read through the notes, and got to his text analysis.

"Sherlock Holmes," she said, sounding amused. "A mundane text." She looked up. "Why would you do a mundane text?"

"I think it's interesting."

"It certainly stands out," she admitted, though Ty wasn't sure this was a good thing by the way she said it. "Let's talk about your future, Ty."

Outside the room, on the seats backed against the wall, were Livvy and Kit, sat for a while after Ty left in somewhat uncomfortable silence. Kit was looking around at the building he sat in, wondering what the hell Ty saw in this place. It was so…foreboding. But it was quiet, so maybe that was what Ty liked. And it was academic. It reminded Kit of a university made for really snobby people. Even though all his clothes were clean, though he'd had a shower that morning, he still felt too dirty to be sat in the chair he was. It was okay for Ty; he looked like a scholar. But Kit felt out of place. The room, with dark oak wall panels covered by large woven tapestries portraying significant was as uninviting as the people who walked past. Ty had told him he knew someone called Diego who went there, but Kit couldn't imagine anyone this cold to be a friend of Ty's.

"This place is so creepy," Livvy whispered, and Kit relaxed, glad the stifling silence was broken.

"I know, right? Why does he even want to go here?"

"It's his dream." She sighed. "And don't get me wrong, I want him to get in if that's what he wants. But…I'll miss him. And I've always been there. I'm scared he won't cope without me…"

"Or you won't cope without him," Kit finished.

Livvy nodded. "Or I won't cope without him," she agreed. She looked up. "I wanted to be his Parabatai, you know?"

Kit remembered the section of the Codex dedicated to them and tried to recall what it had said. Two warriors, bound by a rune and a ritual, to be fighting partners forever.

"And?" Kit asked. "What happened?"

"I kept hinting at it," Livvy said. "And he just never picked up on it."

"Why didn't you ask him outright?"

Livvy looked down and started tugging at a loose thread on the hem of her dress.

"I didn't want him to say no. And I didn't want him to say yes just because he felt like I'd sprung it on him."

"You protect Ty from everything," Kit told her. "And don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing. But don't try and protect him from the thing he loves most."

"I don't think I'm the thing he loves the most," Livvy said, blushing. "I don't know what is."

"You are," Kit assured her certainly. "You don't see it, from the outside – you're part of the circle of you two. From the outside, that circle is obvious and completely impenetrable."

"How would you know?" Livvy asked softly. "Have you tried?"

"I wouldn't want to," Kit replied simply.

Livvy looked up at him, at his blue eyes turned down to the plush carpet under his sneakered feet, at his blonde hair tangled and hanging too long over his forehead.

"You have no idea what you've done for him," Livvy said into the silence. "No idea. You can't ever know how he was before you were here but you've…you've changed so much for him."

"I didn't mean to."

"It's not a bad thing."

"I never meant to come between you," Kit said. "And I didn't mean to hurt him. You have to know that I would never do what I did, that day with the demon and the taxi, now that I know him."

"In a way, I'm glad you did," Livvy mused, and he looked up curiously. "You don't treat him differently. None of us do, but that's because we've always known him. He's just 'Ty' to us. But it doesn't have to be like that for you. So, thank you."

Kit smiled, and Livvy wondered if this was how it would be. Ty would go off to the Scholomance, and she and Kit would become close friends, sparring and hanging out together. He could teach her about mundane culture, and she would tutor him on Shadowhunter stuff. They would go visit Ty, have him home for the holidays, and he could see that they were all friends, the three of them together. And maybe that would be better than having a Parabatai, Livvy thought, because she'd effectively have two.

A sharp creak pulled her from her reverie; Ty coming out of the office and immediately heading for the stairs, walking quickly but calmly, but with an urgency that put Livvy instantly on her guard.

"Ty?" she called. A scholar walking past shushed her sharply. She got up and ran down the hall, Kit on her heels.

"Don't run!" a voice said. Two robed men exchanged superior looks, looks that said 'Ugh, children'. Livvy prickled.

"Ty, what's happening?" she asked, reaching out to take his wrist and stop him. He hit out hard, smacking her hand away.

"Ty, stop," Kit said firmly, and Ty turned to him, pausing on the flat floor between two sets of stairs. He was breathing hard, shoulders heaving. "What's wrong?"

"They said no," he said, face pale. Kit could see his hands moving at light speed at his sides, the crease that formed between his eyebrows when he was upset appearing and disappearing as he winced in random, distressed patterns. "They don't want me. Let's…I want to go home," he said quietly, small voice drained.

Livvy nodded, catching up to his side. She wanted to take his arm, hug him close, tell him it was okay. But she didn't. That was what _she_ wanted, and this was about helping Ty. He didn't want any of that. He wanted to go home, go up to his room and never come out again. She knew that. She listened for Kit's approaching footsteps behind her, turning when none came. He was frozen on the stairwell, jaw set.

"Kit," she said pointedly. "Come on. We have to go." She was almost impatient with him. That whole conversation they'd had, and she thought he knew Ty. But he couldn't even get it right that Ty wanted to leave. " _Kit_ ," she prompted. Ty had stopped beside her now.

"No," Kit said quietly. "You know what? They don't get off that easy." He turned and started back up the stairs out of sight before Livvy could protest. She only just managed to hold Ty back as he started after him. Kit opened the door to the interview room without knocking, and Adelaide stood up quickly as he entered.

"Excuse me, but…"

"You're an idiot," he said, the door hanging open behind him. Outside, in the hall, centurions were stopping in their tracks to see what was happening. "You just had the chance to have the smartest mind of this generation of this generation as your youngest graduate ever and you refused him. Are you out of your mind?"

"You need to leave," she ordered.

"And you need to listen," Kit retorted. "You'd be lucky to have Ty. And now we get to keep him with us, doing all the amazing things back at our Institute that he would've been doing for you, if any of you had any sense." He turned to see Ty and Livvy, framed in the doorway, both palely loitering. Kit put a hand on Adelaide's desk. "I'm glad you said no idea how stupid a move you just made. I can't wait for him to do amazing things to prove that to you. While you and your stuck-up scholars are still reading books about crap that happened centuries ago, he's going to be making a difference, it's not his problem if you're too ignorant to see how smart he is."

He turned and stormed from the room, Livvy and Ty parting out of his way. Livvy took one glance at the crowd of centurions, took Ty's hand with more courage and confidence than she felt, and followed Kit down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, and had gone out into the courtyard to portal back, Kit turned.

"Ty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

Before Kit could finish his sentence, he froze. Ty was stood in front of him, looking him in the eyes for the first time in over a week. It was quick, and it still felt as warm as any hug.

"Thank you," Ty said, and Kit's heart throbbed in a way that was almost nice despite the pain it sent through his chest. Pleasant pain.

They stepped back into the Institute through the portal to find all of the Blackthorns, and Emma, stood around, looking expectant.

"Well?" Julian asked. "How did it go?"

"When do you leave?" Dru asked.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Ty," Emma told him.

"Can I have your room when you're gone?" Tavvy added.

"Stop asking him things!" Livvy said. "Move back. He can't answer all of you at once."

"And it doesn't matter anyway," Ty pointed out. "I didn't get in."

All of them froze, silent. It was a long time before anyone spoke, and then it was Tavvy. "Why?"

"I don't know," Ty told him.

"But you're…you're so smart," Emma said vacantly.

"Not smart enough," he said tightly, and Livvy could see his frustration growing.

"What did they say?" Julian asked.

"That they didn't want me, okay?" Ty snapped. "You didn't prepare me! You didn't tell me I would have to be better than anyone else to have even half a shot! If I'd had known the standard I was operating at, I would've known that no amount of work I could do could match someone just as good as me but more normal! That's what they said, Jules. 'More normal'."

He turned and disappeared upstairs, just as Livvy had predicted he would. He wanted to go up to his room, and never come out again. She cast a look around at them all as she heard his door shut. "What did you do that for?" she asked.

"I just…I thought he'd get in," Dru said. "Why didn't he get in?"

"You know why," Kit, who'd been leaning against the bannister silently, said. "And you need to stop pretending you don't know."

"But…" Emma started.

"You're being unfair to him by not acknowledging it," Kit told her. "All of you are. He's not stupid; he knows he's different. Why don't you just accept that and talk to him about it. Imagine how crappy it must be to be Ty, to feel different but for no one to actually talk about it, so he just feels crazy, like this is what everyone has to go through and they're just better at hiding it, like he's making it all up."

"You don't even know, Ty," Dru pouted.

"He does," Livvy retorted, and Kit looked at her in a mixture of surprise and gratitude. "Hear him out."

"And you all need to stop making such a huge deal about him not getting into the Scholomance," Kit went on. "He doesn't need them to be smart. You all know he's already intelligent. He doesn't need the approval from some asshole scholars."

"What are we pretending not to know?" Tavvy asked, looking up and around at the taller people beside him.

"Ty's autistic," Kit said, and looked on as Emma and Mark, almost adults, cocked their heads to the side just the same way seven year old Tavvy did. "Livvy," Kit said, and she smiled back at him. "Do you think Ty will mind if I use Watson?"

"I'll show you where it is," she offered, and the others followed in a small crowd behind, exchanging looks. What was happening? Only a week ago, Livvy had been at Kit's throat. Now they were apparently the best of friends. Livvy sat down at the computer in the library and logged Kit in before stepping back and joining the others, huddled around Kit's chair to see the screen. Kit felt oddly pressured. Googling had never been a spectator sport before.

"I can't see!" Tavvy complained.

"Come here," Kit said, moving the office chair along. Tavvy nestled in to the space beside Kit and smiled up at him, approving. Kit typed quickly and hit enter, standing up as the results loaded. He lifted Tavvy up onto the desk beside the computer. "Keep an eye on these guys, yeah? I'm putting you in charge." Kit winked and Tavvy giggled, nodding. Kit turned, starting through the door.

"Where are you going?" Mark asked.

"To check in on Ty," he told them, leaving them to huddle around the screen, reading.

When Kit opened the door to Ty's room, he was laid face-down on the bed, his jacket tossed haphazardly near him on the ground.

"Hey," Kit said gently, and Ty turned his head to the side so he could reply without it being so muffled by the pillow.

"Hi," he replied. It still wasn't entirely clear, Kit thought; it was still muffled. He thought it was probably best not to say that right now, though. He paused a long period of silence falling before Ty spoke again. "They're disappointed."

"So what? It's not about them."

"I'm disappointed too."

Kit sat down on the chest at the end of Ty's bed. "Look, sometimes you're going to fail, and it's going to suck. But everyone fails. Just because you've done pretty well at everything you've cared about so far doesn't mean you always will."

"If you care about something, if you really want it and work at it, you should get it," Ty said.

"Life isn't like that," Kit sighed. Though he wished it was. If life was fair, his dad wouldn't have died. "Sometimes, the people who don't deserve anything get everything they want."

"Thank you for what you did at the Scholomance."

Kit shrugged, even though Ty couldn't see him do it. "They were assholes," Kit said simply, curling his hand into a fist. He could feel himself getting angry, and didn't want to explode. Right now, he was supposed to be helping Ty, not causing commotion. "Failing isn't bad."

"Yes it is," Ty said, turning over to look at Kit as if this was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. "Failing is the worst result."

"I don't think so," Kit countered. "If you always did well, it wouldn't mean anything."

"It would mean I always did well," Ty told him. "And that would be good."

"How about Sherlock Holmes?" Kit tried. "He must have failed at least once, right?"

Ty sat up, nodding. "Most famously against The Woman?"

"Who's The Woman?"

"Irene Adler," Ty answered, and pulled his Sherlock Holmes book onto his lap from where it sat on the bedside table. He flipped to a story not too far through. "It's called 'A Scandal in Bohemia'." he said, and began reading. "'To Sherlock Holmes she is always _the_ woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name.'"

Kit climbed carefully over the footboard and landed gently opposite Ty, leaning against the wooden end of the bed. Ty smiled down into his books and flicked his eyes up to Kit before he carried on. It was an hour or so before Ty had finished the story, and Kit was slumped happily with his legs outstretched, somewhere between sitting and lying against the footboard. _Lounging_ , he pondered. Perhaps the word he was looking for was lounging. He sat up, stretching.

"Maybe we should go and see your family," Kit suggested.

"Wait," Ty replied, catching Kit's wrist as he began to stand. Ty's stomach fluttered in protest at this touch. Or maybe not protest. It wasn't unpleasant. Ty kept his hand there. "Wait," he repeated. "Stay here with me, just for a while. I don't want to go downstairs yet."

Kit sat back down and nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. He could feel Ty's cool skin on his, could see the stark contrast between his tan and Ty's pallor. He could feel their touching skin reaching equilibrium, Ty's warming and his cooling.

"Thank you," Ty said, and sat for a while holding Kit's palm gently, running his own fingers carefully along the veins at his wrists, that parted and diverged like a river delta. Kit's whole body was a map, a globe of river veins, island freckles, and earthquake fissure scars. Maybe that was the feeling Ty couldn't identify; wanderlust. He looked up, and Kit was watching him. Not watching his hands move, but watching him; watching his face and the way his mouth turned up in a smile, the way his eyes crinkled. Kit's pulse was drumming in his wrist, under Ty's hands. Ty wondered if Kit was afraid, whether he himself was afraid. He decided he wasn't.

"Do you want to be my friend?" Ty asked quietly.

"Yes," Kit replied. Ty let Kit's hand go, watching it fall into his lap gently. "It's going to be okay, you know?" Kit told him. "Not getting into the Scholomance, I mean. It's going to be okay."

Ty nodded. "I know. It just…hurts."

Kit sighed. "I know. But I meant everything I said to them. They don't deserve you."

Ty's pale face flushed a soft pink-red and he stood up. "Do you want to play a board game?"

"Sure," Kit agreed. "What do you wanna play?"

"Scrabble," Ty answered, and then an idea came to him. "How about you put down mundane words and I put down Shadowhunter ones and we can teach each other while we play?"

Kit had to smile. Only Tiberius would think of a way to make a game as weirdly verbose as Scrabble even more academic – and then pitch it as a fun twist. "Sure," Kit grinned. "Because Scrabble isn't hard enough."

Ty played first; stele. 5 points.

"Stele," Ty announced. "Pens with which to write runes on the skin."

"Okay, if I play through the middle 'E', I'm playing Gameboy," Kit countered, setting down the letters. 15 points. Ty grinned. No one in his family could beat him at the game, but Kit looked like a sure rival. "A Gameboy is like…kinda like your phone but it's a video game console. You'd have loved one."

Ty nodded. "There are a few games on Watson but you can only play Solitaire so many times before you get bored." He paused. "You know, if you played on the last 'E', you would've gotten two triple letter scores."

"Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Kit exclaimed, and Ty laughed. "I hate you so much right now."

After that, a variety of words were played, from adamas to Disney, rune to prom. The two of them exchanged words and meanings like secrets. Ty sat crossed-legged on the floor opposite Kit, who was stretched out on his stomach.

"That can't be real," Ty said, laughing, steel grey eyes crinkled. "Tell me again."

"'Cribs'," Kit repeated, grinning. "It's when celebrities show you around their house. It's a TV show on MTV."

"Why is it on a music channel?"

"No one understands MTV," Kit replied. "We don't question it. We just know they play 'Cribs', and '16 and Pregnant'."

"What's that?"

"It's a show about people who are 16 and pregnant."

"Aptly named." Ty nodded. "Makes sense."

A knock on the door made them both look up. Ty shook his head fiercely.

"Hi?" Kit called.

"Kit, hi," Julian said, sounding worried and relieved in an oddly paradoxical mix. "Can we talk to you and Ty?"

Kit glanced at Ty, who was looking at him pleadingly. "N…Not right now," he said. "We're just talking."

"Do you want dinner? I'm making dinner."

"We'll come down in a minute. Give us a moment."

There was a pause before Julian replied. "O…Okay. Well…I'll see you later. Emma and I are downstairs if you need us." His footsteps retreated and Ty sighed.

"Thanks," Ty said. "I don't know, I just…"

"You don't have to explain," Kit said. "My dad used to drive me crazy. I don't think I'd mind so much now, though," he added, sounding a little sad.

Ty looked up at Kit, who was shuffling the unused Scrabble tiles pointlessly. How could he not want to be with his family after hearing that? Regardless of how much he wanted to stay just with Kit, he had a family downstairs, and Kit didn't. Ty couldn't ignore the very thing Kit wanted most in the world. That was unfathomably cruel.

"Actually, can we go get dinner now?" he said, and Kit looked up. "I'm kind of hungry, now I think about it."

"Sure, if you like." Kit nodded and followed Ty from the room. He knew exactly why Ty had done as he had, and couldn't help but want hug him. Instead, he walked closer to the Shadowhunter, who bumped a bony elbow against him affectionately.

When they walked into the dining room, six faces turned to them. Julian gave Tavvy a look as he opened his mouth, and the younger Shadowhunter shut it again quickly.

"You alright, Ty?" Emma asked.

Ty nodded and sat down, headphones around his neck. "What's for dinner?"

"Burgers," Julian replied from the stove.

"Chicken?"

"I made you chicken, yeah."

Ty looked around the table and wondered why everyone seemed so…subdued. When they all had their food, he got his answer. The conversation began tentatively, Julian the first one to take the plunge.

"Ty, you like research. Do you know what autism is?"

"Nope," he answered, headphones on, dipping a fry into the small puddle of ketchup on his plate.

"Well, I've been researching it a little bit, with some help from Kit, and I think it might interest you. It might be the thing that makes you different from, say, Livvy." Julian explained, edging around the conversation carefully.

"No," Ty replied. Julian looked taken-aback.

"What do you mean?"

"Lots of things make me different to Livvy," Ty pointed out. "Livvy is a girl, and she has brown hair."

"I mean…you think differently to me, sometimes, right?" Julian said. "You can work things out that none of the rest of us have any idea how to tackle. You think faster than the rest of us a lot of the time. Would you agree?"

"Yes," Ty said, picking a sesame seed off his burger bun carefully. He looked worried, suspicious.

"Okay, well that might be because of this autism thing," Julian explained.

Ty looked at Kit, and there was a vulnerability there that made Kit's stomach hurt. "What are they talking about?" Ty asked.

"It's okay," Kit said. "You're reading the library book, right? The London Eye Mystery? You're more like Ted. The rest of us are a little more like the other characters. Ted thinks more like you."

"Is that bad?"

"No," Julian said firmly. "Not bad at all."

"The Clave will think so," Ty sulked desolately. Emma and Julian exchanged a look.

"Perhaps," Julian conceded. "But the Clave thinks a lot of things are wrong that are totally fine."

"Will I be sent away to Wrangel Island like Helen?"

"No, Ty," Emma promised. "We wouldn't ever let that happen."

"You let it happen to Helen," Ty said angrily. "Wait, are there other people like me? Other Shadowhunters?"

"Absolutely," Julian said certainly. "Lots of Shadowhunters think differently. I…I've heard about Shadowhunters who get so sad they sometimes can't get out of bed."

"That's called depression," Kit said absently. "It's pretty common."

"And," Julian added. "There are Shadowhunters who say that letters dance around on the pages when they read."

"Dyslexia," Kit put in. "It's called dyslexia."

"That sounds like a made-up word," Mark said.

"Says the people who made up words like Parabatai," Kit muttered. "Sounds like a sneeze."

"Can silent brothers fix it?"

"No," Julian said, looking devastated that Ty would even consider it. "No. It doesn't need fixing. It's okay. Some things don't get fixed. Remember how the silent brothers couldn't fix Mom? It's like that."

"Is Ty gonna die like Mom?" Tavvy asked, and Ty's head jerked up so fast his headphones fell around his neck.

"No, no. No one is dying," Julian said quickly. "That was a bad example, I'm sorry. Ty isn't like Mom. He isn't sick; he doesn't need fixing. There's nothing wrong with Ty."

"I want to go," Ty said, standing up and running from the room.

"Ty!" Julian called, and Kit stood up, running after him without a word. Almost everyone's plate was untouched. No one seemed very hungry tonight. Julian put his head in his hands.

"It's okay," Emma said, stroking his back. "He's just frightened."

 _He's not the only one_ , Julian thought. He loved Ty to death, but he knew the Clave didn't look favourably on people who were different. The only solace was that was that they almost definitely didn't have a word for how Ty was. But he knew what happened to Shadowhunters like Ty; they were thrown to the dregs program of the Academy and pushed into the shadows of Nephilim society, ignored and ostracized. Ty deserved better than that – he was worth more than that, was smarter than that. But the fact the Blackthorns knew this meant nothing to the Conclave. The only thing they cared about was how good of a fighter he was. And the truth was, while he might have been a scholar, he wasn't a fighter. And he didn't have the Scholomance at his back up now. He was wondering the same thing he assumed Ty was: what now?

"Ty!" Kit shouted, running after him out of the Institute's heavy main doors and out onto the chalky, sandy grass. "Ty, stop!"

"Go away!" Ty yelled, running harder. "This is all your fault!"

"Why?"

"If you hadn't told Julian then none of this would be happening!" he shouted. "I hate you!"

"Ty, I'm sorry," Kit said, breathing hard with running.

They were heading along to the cliffs now, and Kit could hear Ty's laboured breathing as he pushed himself harder to get away from Kit. Kit drew to a stop, looking up at the cliffs, and the crashing waves below. Ty was getting away fast though, so he took a deep breath and took off at a sprint. _Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down._ When Ty finally got tired and started slowing, Kit lurched forward caught him by the waist, pulling him to a stop. Ty wriggled away desperately, tripping over his own feet. Dust blew up around them in a sandy cloud as they fell, both of them coughing and spluttering. Ty looked furious, his eyebrows knitted and lips set in a hard, thin line.

"I'm sorry," Kit said again, chest heaving from running. "I never meant to upset you."

"I hate you," Ty said again, but he looked less sure of himself, like some of that anger was slipping away to something closer to fear or sadness.

"I know," Kit said, as the dust settled, both literally and metaphorically. "Please let me explain." Ty sat patiently, agreeing, and Kit went on. "I only told Julian because it might help them understand you. To be honest, I assumed you knew. I didn't think the Shadowhunters were so detached from the mundane world. I guess I assumed you had words for stuff like this, just like us."

"Well, we don't," Ty said. "And now everything is complicated."

"It's just the same," Kit told them. "The words you use for things don't change the things themselves."

Ty looked up. "I suppose."

"It's going to be okay," Kit said, leaning forward toward Ty as he spoke. "You just know what you're up against now."

"Stuff like this is common in the mundane world?"

"It's common everywhere," Kit replied. "It's just that you don't have a word for it."

"I'm scared," Ty said quietly.

"You don't need to be," Kit said, and Ty put his arms around Kit. It took Kit a moment to realise what was happening, that he was being hugged. His dad wasn't a big hugger. Kit couldn't remember the last time someone had hugged him. He could feel Ty's hands against his back, pulling him closer. Kit reached up and put his arms around Ty, around his bony shoulders and sharp collar bones. His heart almost hurt with the responsibility of this hug. He could see the dust littering Ty's black hair like snow, could feel the way his body moved under Kit's careful hands. When they finally broke apart, Ty's eyes were glassy with unshed tears he seemed to stubborn to let fall.

"Dust," Ty mumbled. "Getting in my eyes."

Kit's mouth quirked up at the corner. "Yeah, I know the feeling." He stood up, putting a hand out to pull Ty up with him. "Let's go home."

Ty squeezed his hand, wrapping his fingers around Kit's, like intertwining branches, two separate trees growing into one another. "Sometimes I want to run away," Ty said into the silence.

"So do I," Kit replied.

"Why don't you?" Ty asked, with disarming frankness.

"W-Why don't you?" Kit countered weakly.

He thought for a moment he'd pushed too hard, that Ty wouldn't answer. But, after a while, he did.

"Because Livvy would miss me."

"Your whole family would miss you," Kit said quietly. "And I would miss you."

"You could come with me," Ty told him.

"Thank you," Kit said, squeezing Ty's hand.

When they reached the front door of the Institute, they broke their hands apart. Ty pushed open the doors and started disappearing upstairs. When Kit didn't follow, he turned, curious. "Are you coming too?"

"I'd better go tell Julian we're back," he said, and Ty realised how starkly different Kit was how to now he was when he'd first arrived, doing everything he could evade Jules. "I'll come and find you though."

Ty nodded, and continued upstairs, as Kit breathed in tiredly and set about trying to find Julian.


	6. Chapter 6

It didn't take long to find Julian – or to hear him at least. He could hear Jules and Emma talking quickly and intently, the buzzing wasps, from through the kitchen door. He knocked and the noise stopped abruptly.

"Hello?" Emma called.

"Hi, it's Kit. I just wanted to let you know we're back."

Julian came to the door and opened it, looking weary. "Thanks, Kit. Come in."

Inside wasn't just Emma and Julian, but also Mark. They were all huddled around the end of the long table, and Mark pulled out a seat beside him for Kit. He felt strangely grown up but out of place in his council of Shadowhunters who felt so much older than him, though there wasn't much more than five or so years in it. Jules sat back down beside Emma, opposite Kit. He looked tired. Jules always looked tired.

"Caffeine rune?" Emma asked, and Julian bore an arm, nodding.

"Coffee rune?" Kit asked, and Emma nodded, smiling. The smile looked tense.

"Was everything okay?" Emma asked. "He wasn't too upset?"

"It was fine," Kit said, attempting to sound comforting without sounding patronising. "I'm really sorry. I never meant to make anything worse."

"No, Kit, you have been most helpful," Mark said. "We are just deciding how best to help."

"You already help him," Kit told them. "Please don't worry. You've been doing this your whole lives. Don't let me bringing a word or label into it change that. Ty is great, so you've clearly been doing things right."

"Thank you, Kit," Julian said, grateful. "That means a lot."

"Um, I told Ty I wouldn't be long. Is it okay if I...?"

"Yes, go. Sorry," Jules said, gesturing. "Thanks, Kit."

He ducked quickly from the room and upstairs. Ty's door hung ajar, and Kit took this as an invitation to enter. When he walked in, he didn't spot Ty, sat behind his bed curled up in a ball, rocking on the balls of his feet. His breath was coming in gasps, the hair at his parting sticking damply to his forehead.

"Ty?" Kit said quietly. He walked over as if he was approaching a deer, taking immense effort not to startle him. He tried to remember what Julian had done when this happened with the demon and the taxi. It could only have been a week ago, but it felt like a lifetime to Kit. He could almost see it happening; Ty curled like he was now, smacking Kit's hand away, and Julian crouching at Ty's eye level, speaking in his soft, clear voice. "Ty, tell me what you need," Kit said firmly, but with a quiet kindness.

"Hug me," Ty breathed heavily, eyes squeezed shut. "Tight. Don't be scared to hurt me."

Kit didn't hug, particularly not a prolonged, aggressive, therapeutic hug. But he put his arms around Ty and held him fast against his chest regardless.

"Tighter," Ty said, through gritted teeth. " _Please_."

Kit put a hand on the back of Ty's head, holding him tightly to his chest, like he was protecting the other boy from an oncoming explosion. Maybe that _was_ how it felt to be Ty, Kit thought, and squeezed the arm around Ty's back tighter still. Ty's whole body was fever-hot and shaking, vibrating with an energy that had nowhere to go. Kit could almost feel himself shuddering with the tension of holding on so firmly. Ty's face was buried in the front of Kit's jacket, his fingers knotted into a bunched up section of material at the back. Kit felt like he was clinging to the only other survivor in a storm. Again, he wondered how accurate that feeling was to how Ty felt. He wondered how it must be to be Ty, to be battered from all sides by waves of noise, ambushed by sea winds bringing overwhelming scents and tastes and textures, craggy, dangerous rocks sprouting without warning made of too bright lights and too cryptic conversational rules. It made Kit's head hurt just thinking about it, and it made his stomach twist knowing that was probably just the tip of the iceberg of Ty's experience of life every single day. If that was his life, Kit thought, he'd spend all day like Ty was now.

"It's okay," Kit said quietly. "Ty, it's okay."

Ty said something inaudible.

"I…I can't hear you."

Ty turned his head to the side. "I'm sorry."

"Stop it. Your day has been crap and long and stressful. Just…it's okay to not be alright for a bit, Ty."

"I want to go home."

"Y-You are home," Kit assured him. "We're in your room. It's okay."

"No," Ty said, pulling back, frustrated that he couldn't explain. Kit let go and sat back. His heart ached when he saw Ty was crying, pale cheeks flushed. He was shivering, teeth chattering like he was freezing, even though Kit could see the sweat on his face. "Home is where you're safe and everything feels okay. Nowhere has felt safe since the Dark War, not even here. I want to go _home_." The last word sounded like a plea.

"Me too," Kit said sadly. "I want to go home too." He helped Ty to his feet and the two of flopped down onto Ty's bed side by side on their backs. "We aren't that different, me and you," Kit said after a long time. "Sometimes I just get so angry, and it's like everything disappears. And it's like I have no control over it. Is that kind of what being you feels like?"

"A little, yeah," Ty said quietly. He'd turned onto his side, facing away from Kit. His body seemed drained of all energy, utterly unable to stay awake. "Will you stay here?" Ty asked, voice slurring tiredly. "With me?"

"Y-Yeah," Kit answered, letting one hand dangle off the side of the mattress, fingers brushing the floor. "Sure."

Kit woke up to see Ty cocooned in his comforter like his beloved butterflies. The one beside his bed was gone, the tank empty. Kit wondered if Ty was trying to build his own home of fluffy bedspread where he felt warm and safe, or whether he was just trying to metamorphose into a semblance of bravery. He was awake when Kit stirred.

"You call out for your dad in your sleep," Ty said quietly. All Kit could see of Ty was his face, but that was the one part of Kit's own face Ty wished he couldn't see as his cheeks flared.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrupt you."

Ty shook his head. "I don't mind. I'm really sorry he died."

"Don't be," Kit shrugged. "It isn't your fault."

"I'm still sorry," Ty replied. "I know exactly how painful it is to lose a parent."

"Does it go away?" Kit asked. "The pain, I mean."

"Not really," Ty answered honestly. "You just learn to survive, I suppose."

He unfurled himself from his blanket chrysalis and stood up, leaving Kit to lie on his bed with enough room to sprawl out, still in his slightly dusty clothes from yesterday. He pulled the covers over his head, burrowing under the comforter. He wasn't sure when he woke up next, but he knew Ty wasn't there anymore. He turned over and the section of mattress where Ty had been laid was empty. It took him a moment to remember their previous conversation, remembering seeing him leave, but he couldn't quite recall when or why it had happened. He climbed grudgingly out from under the bedclothes and evaluated his messy hair in Ty's bedroom mirror. His blonde hair was sticking up on end, as he'd expected. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. He'd probably better go and find Ty, he thought. Julian wouldn't ever forgive him if Ty had bolted and Kit had let it happen. He started for the kitchen but it was empty except for glasses holding only orange juice dregs to let him know he'd missed breakfast. The training room was his next stop, and apparently the right one. He got halfway through the door before a voice called from on high:

"Go away!"

He jumped and looked up to see edging himself along a rafter.

"I'm making you something," Ty explained. "So you can't be here. It's a surprise."

"Ty, get down!" Kit shouted.

He waved a hand, unconcerned, and attached a rope to a middle beam. He swung himself onto the rope and shimmied his way down, bustling Ty from the room. "Go! I'm working," Ty said, and Kit sighed as Ty shut the door behind him, turning almost directly into Livvy.

"Have you been kicked out?" she asked. He nodded. "How dare you enter when Ty is creating?" she gasped in mock-horror.

He grinned. "I don't know if you want to intervene but…"

"But Ty is hanging precariously from the beams or something?" Livvy guessed. "Don't worry. He's brilliant at climbing. It used to scare me half to death too. It's usually the whole jumping-climbing-falling stuff Shadowhunters hate learning. I think Ty quite liked it."

Kit laughed. "Did Ty do everything just to be awkward?"

"He taught himself Latin," Livvy said dryly. "What do you think?"

Meanwhile, inside the room, Ty was working with a quiet speed. A CD player in the corner was playing violin music, and he lay on his stomach on one of the wooden beams contemplatively for a while, looking down at the training room below. It was peaceful, warm and close, and all he could hear was violins and his own breathing. He turned his face carefully, laying his cheek against the beam and letting his arms dangle loosely. He smiled happily at the memory of Kit lying beside him in bed the night before. It always used to be Livvy. When he was little and scared Livvy would come and lay with him, wrap her whole body around his, cocooning him in safety. She hadn't done that in a long time. He kind of missed it. He remembered when their dad died, and Livvy lay beside him in his bed in Idris, the only thing that made him sleep. Sometimes, he still didn't sleep, but having her there made him feel safe. Nothing could hurt him. And nothing could hurt her, because she was right there next to him. He remembered once, when Emma had come back home hurt from a demon fight, Livvy had been frightened. They couldn't have been old, eleven or twelve perhaps.

"What would you do if I got hurt?" she had asked quietly, curled up small with Ty holding onto her, his legs wrapped protectively around her.

"I would kill them," Ty had said simply, and she rolled over to hug him.

Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he still wanted Livvy there. Having Kit beside him…that was definitely the next best thing. Maybe even just as good.

He caught himself just in time to come back to the present before he absent-mindedly rolled off the beam he was on. His breath came in a quick burst as he steadied himself. Pulling the rope he was holding securely around the beam, he knotted it and pulled it through the loop he'd made so each side hung down evenly toward the floor. He grabbed one length of rope in each hand and climbed his way down, dropping carefully into a crouch when the rope ended. He scribbled a quick note and stuck it to the door as he left: ' _Keep out. Especially Kit. – Ty.'_ He walked down into the kitchen and disappeared into the larder. Mark was sat at the table and paid little attention as Ty walked past. When his little brother returned, lugging a sack of flour, he looked mildly more concerned.

"I need this," Ty answered simply.

"Ah, I was concerned," Mark nodded. "Do you require assistance?"

"No," Ty called as he left. A simple declaration of negation seemed to placate his sibling well enough. Ty liked Mark. He didn't ask why, and that made situations like these earlier. When he returned to the training room, Livvy was sat outside against the wall.

"Come in," he said, and she smiled.

"Thanks. I didn't want to disobey the sign. Do you want some help?"

He nodded and she grabbed one end of the sack of flour, kicking the door open behind her as she backed into the room. She glanced up at the dangling ropes.

"So, I assume that flour isn't for baking your dear twin a batch of chocolate chip cookies. What are you making then?"

"A surprise, for Kit," Ty answered dragging a block they used to train to do flips from over and beneath the ropes that hung down like vines. He climbed on top and crouched down to pull the sack up beside him, with Livvy's help. He stood up and tied the ropes tightly around the flour bag, pulling on it firmly to check the security. When he was satisfied, he leapt off the block and pulled it away, leaving the bag suspended in mid-air.

"What is it?" Livvy asked, cocking her head to the side.

"A punching bag," Ty answered, dusting his hands off, flour snowing down onto his black canvas sneakers. "We don't have one. Diana will be able to get us a real one when she comes back. I thought this would do until then."

Livvy hugged an arm around him, both of them looking at it. "Think he'll like it?" she asked. He nodded. "Me too," she agreed. "Shall we go get him to show it to him?"

"Not yet," Ty said firmly, and Livvy didn't question it. "I love you."

Livvy glanced to the side. Ty was still looking up at the makeshift punching bag. She was almost glad, because she felt her face soften. She took his hand and rubbed it hard between hers, the way she did when he was stressed, and he smiled, relaxing on his feet.

"I love you too, Ty-Ty," she answered quietly. "How's Aldora doing?"

"I let her go," he answered. "Last weekend. She was all healed up." He paused for a long time before he spoke again, hesitantly. "I don't want you to go too," he said. "Or Kit. I don't want him to leave."

"I…I know," she said. "But remember you were just as worried about Mark leaving, and he chose to stay with us instead of going back with the Wild Hunt."

Ty shook his head. "No I wasn't."

She looked across. "What?"

"I wasn't as worried about Mark leaving," Ty said quietly. "I was scared, but I was used to him being gone. I didn't think we'd ever actually get him back. This is different."

"Why is it different?"

"Because I like Kit."

"You like Mark too," Livvy pointed. She had a feeling in her chest that she knew where this conversation might be headed. She wondered if Ty knew too, or understood the implications of it.

"It's different," he said, sounding frustrated but contemplative, as if he was thinking about this difference, but also that thinking about it was stressful. "I don't know, it just feels different."

"Different how?" Livvy tried, but Ty shook his head.

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. He turned and walked from the training room. Livvy watched him go from where she stood by the window, out into the brush behind the hill the Institute stood on, to sit and watch the lizards skittering and scuttling in and out of the cracks in the rocks. Livvy wanted to grab Kit by the front of his shirt, tell him to be very, very careful with Ty, beg him never to hurt her brother. But all she could do was watch. Because she knew that, as brilliant as Ty was at solving puzzles, he hadn't worked this one out yet.

"Hey."

Ty looked up to see Julian, looking over at the lizard darting over Ty's hands. After a while, it settled and Ty held it carefully, its head poking out curiously between his fingers. Ty laughed.

"What is it?" Julian asked, sitting down.

"It's a western banded gecko," Ty said, stroking its head gently. "Usually they come out at night."

"Must like you then," Julian said and Ty smiled.

"I had to let Aldora go."

"Livvy told me, yeah," Julian said. He knew all about Aldora. He could probably name every animal Ty had ever rescued, been as Ty had introduced them to him as childhood friends. Skinks and chuckwallas, dwarf rabbits and abandoned ring-tailed kittens – Julian was awaiting the day Ty happily led a baby coyote or black bear cub through the doors and hid them away in his bedroom. There was nothing worse, Julian strongly believed, than hearing the distinct wail of Cristina finding one of Ty's creatures nestling in her wardrobe. It usually ended up being a snake.

"Ty," Julian said carefully. "How are things going?"

"What things?" Ty asked, as he let the lizard run up to his shoulder. He laughed as it darted its tongue in and out.

"Just…things," Julian said. Ty looked up, puzzled, and Julian corrected himself. 'Just…things' was not a topic for Ty. Topics needed to be specific or interesting. "How are things with Livvy?"

"What things?" Ty asked again, impatiently.

"Are you and her getting along?"

"Obviously." The lizard dashed down his arm back into his hand. "We always get along."

"Does she like Kit?"

"Yes," he answered. "At least, I think so."

"Do _you_ like Kit?"

"Yes," he repeated – though he didn't say 'I think so' this time, Julian noted.

"How are you feeling about the whole Scholomance thing?"

"Still hurts," Ty muttered. "But it'll be okay."

"It will," Julian nodded. "I heard quite a lot of the centurions are kind of standoffish anyway."

"Kit said they were assholes," Ty told him. Julian laughed, and after a moment Ty giggled too. "They were."

"Ty, do you think Kit is happy here?" Julian asked. He'd wanted to ask Ty for a while, since the two of them seemed close, but it had taken him this long to get the chance to.

"Yes, and that's scaring him," Ty said certainly. "He's happy, but he doesn't want to be. He's happy in the day but he's still scared."

"What do you mean 'in the day'?" Jules asked, confused by the unusual phrasing.

"At night, he calls out for his dad," Ty said. The lizard had scampered off into the rocks and Ty was drawing shapes with his finger in the sand.

Julian shook his head in bemusement. "I can't understand how you hear everything that happens in this place," he said.

Ty grinned. "No, I heard him when I was sleeping outside his room. Then when he came to my room I heard him then too," Ty answered. "No superpower hearing required."

"Ah," Julian smiled, and then he looked puzzled. "Does Kit sleep in your room?"

"He _has_ slept in my room, once," Ty mused. "So he _has_ stayed in my room. I wouldn't say he _does_. That suggests it's a regular thing."

"You know, you sleep outside his room a lot, and if he stays – sorry, has stayed – in your room, we can just put another bed in your room. Or a mattress on the floor, at least."

"That's okay," Ty said with a shake of his head. "I don't mind."

Julian rested his head on Ty's shoulder, and Ty leaned in happily.

"I love you, Ty-Ty," Julian said.

"I know, I love you too," he answered. "I want Kit to stay. Do you understand?"

"I do, Ty," Julian replied, stroking Ty's hair. "Do you remember asking me that same thing about Mark?"

"Yes," Ty said. "And you kept your promise then. Will you keep it again now?"

"I'll…I'll do my best. But it isn't my decision. Ultimately, it's Kit's."

"But if he wanted to stay then you would let him, right?"

"Of course," Julian nodded. "Why?"

Ty shrugged and stood up, Julian standing too, dusting sand from his clothes.

"Come on, will you set the table while I make dinner?"

Ty nodded and watched as Julian took off in a sprint. "Race!" Julian declared. Ty made a noise of surprise before bolting after him.

"You cheated!" Ty laughed, and Julian grinned as Ty pulled level with him, pushing Jules back by the arm. When they reached the foot of the Institute steps, Julian grabbed Ty by the waist and reached forward to touch the door first.

"I win," Julian said, and Ty laughed.

"Put me down," he said. "You're a cheater."

Julian just grinned at him, unlocking the door.

After dinner, Ty tapped Kit on the arm, feather light and careful. Kit turned, and Julian watched as Ty, without meaning to, proved his own point. When Kit thought no one was looking, he looked broken and tired, like a boy about to give up. But when Ty tapped his shoulder, when someone called his name, when he felt watched, he could transform himself entirely in an instant. Perhaps this, like his father's scams, was his idea of a con. They were doing the same thing, Julian thought, Kit and his father. They were both tricking people around them, wearing their perfect poker faces. But Kit hadn't been in the business for as long, Julian thought. He wasn't as practised, and the cracks in his veneer were obvious. Julian wanted to hug him, wanted to tell him to stop trying to hide those cracks, wanted to tell him about something called 'Kintsugi'. He remembered Ty telling him about how, in Japan, cracks in pottery were filled with gold, celebrated rather than hidden. Cracks don't mean you're weak, Julian wanted to say. Cracks meant you'd been damaged but you hadn't shattered, that you had the strength to put the pieces of your brokenness back together.

He looked back as Ty beckoned Kit after him. As he glanced away, Julian thought he saw Ty grab Kit's hand – or perhaps Kit grab Ty's hand – but by the time he looked back, they'd disappeared.

"What's wrong?" Kit asked, keeping his hand in Ty's, who'd grabbed his hand to tug him carefully along. It was nice, Kit decided. He couldn't remember anyone holding his hand, except from his dad when they crossed the street when he was a toddler.

"Nothing is wrong," Ty said, pulling Kit along. He looked down at Kit's fingers wrapped around his and smiled, tugging him up the stairs. He liked holding hands with Kit. He'd liked it when they were on the cliff tops, and he'd been curious as to whether he'd like it again or whether it had only been nice in that moment. Ty concluded he did like it, but – for purely scientific purposes – he'd have to try it one more time. Three was the lucky scientific number when testing things. "I have something for you."

Kit's eyes widened in surprise but he said nothing. Ty opened the training room door and Kit walked across to the makeshift punching bag, letting go of Ty's hand to touch the sack of flour like someone in a trance.

"It's a punching bag," Ty said from the doorway. "When Diana comes back, we'll get you a real one, but this was the best I could do by myself. I made it. Oh, and if anyone asks where the flour is, you don't know."

Kit laughed, but it came out sounding more choked than he'd expected it to. He coughed and wiped a hand absently across his face. He couldn't remember the last time someone had done something like this for him. Even on his birthdays, his dad didn't really do presents. Even his beloved camera was stolen from the school's art department after a huge argument with the governor's board that had resulted in his expulsion. He remembered it so clearly, even three years later. Kit's temper was wicked at twelve, a flame always a little too close to the end of a firework. Any tiny nudge would make him explode. It wasn't so bad now, though he'd still sometimes feel the telling spark before he scrambled to dampen it. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't. With Ty, on the beach, he hadn't caught himself in time and he'd lost it. Even though it still wasn't ideal, he wasn't anywhere near as bad as he had been. The kids at his school knew this about him and, like any good pyromaniac, they delighted in playing just a little too close to Kit's fire.

The day he'd been expelled from his third school, it was not just one but six of his peers he was fighting. Six absolute assholes, Kit thought now, still angry. He'd learnt that the police were no use when it came to the strange apparitions he saw – the werewolves and demons that stalked him. He wasn't sure whether knowing he only saw them because he had the Sight was any consolation. He didn't want anything to do with the Shadowhunters. How dare those killers ruin his life this way? If he was seeing demons, the demon hunters clearly weren't very good at their jobs. However, though he'd learnt not to turn to the mundane police, that didn't make encountering the creatures any less terrifying. When, just outside the fence that ran the perimeter of the school grounds – it was the kind of place that needed fencing just to stop kids running away – he'd seen a skulking, hairy demon like a huge wolf, Kit reacted instinctively. He'd screamed, falling over himself to get away, get them all away. While a puny fence might keep them in – and not always that successfully; there was news of someone running away at least once a week (and often that person was Kit) – it was certainly not going to keep a demon out. But mundanes saw what they wanted to, what made sense to them and fit their schema of what the world contained. To them, all they saw was Kit Rook, yelling at everyone to get back from a tabby cat licking its paw rather than the demon licking its lips. He screamed until his throat hurt, until teachers came to haul him off into detention for acting up. When lunchtime came, and he went back out, the demon was gone. But the kids who'd witnessed the scene weren't. Six kids circled him, sneering.

"Ah! A Kitty!" one screeched mockingly, and the others laughed.

"Move," Kit said through his teeth, trying to push past them.

"You're such a freak," another said. "There's something wrong with you, seriously. Are you actually crazy?"

Kit spun. He was sick of them. His stomach was burning, furious. Furious they thought they knew anything about Kit, had any idea what it was like to be him.

"Back off!" he yelled, shoving one back by the shoulder. The other five closed in. He could feel his fingers starting to itch, his body shaking with a rage too large to be contained in a vessel so small. Rage enough to fill the ocean shoved into something the size of Kit was bound to spill out. And it did. Waves of punches and kicks landed, Kit ducking and dodging and raining down fists like the surf off the crest of a wave. By the time he could breathe again, he was surrounded by six floored bullies, huge hulking jerks with bleeding lips and swelling eyes. There was a strange sense of satisfaction that came with it, but also the damning knowledge that it was time for school number four to try their hand at controlling him. He could see teachers coming out to beckon them back in for class, clocking the situation. Kit bolted. He ran alongside the length of the fence as the principal went over to the scene of the crime. She was saying something into one of the walkie-talkies all the staff had. He didn't have much time. He was running up to the art department before he knew what he was doing, had grabbed his bag from his locker down the hall and shoved a camera into it before he could think twice. He vaulted the fence on the way out. Person number two to escape that week. He didn't go back to find out he was expelled. After three schools, you knew when you'd overstayed your welcome.

"Kit?" Ty asked hesitantly. He'd been watching from the doorway, but Kit hadn't said anything for a long time. He was worried he'd done something wrong, could feel his hands starting to twitch at his sides. Kit turned and Ty's breath caught as Kit crossed the floor toward him in three long strides. Kit's arms went around Ty, hugging him hard. It took a moment before Ty put his arms around Kit too. "Are you okay?" Ty asked. Kit nodded against Ty's shoulder.

"Thank you, Tibs."

Ty smiled. "My sister, Helen, used to call me Tibs."

Kit let go, blushing. He instantly hated himself for it. He was Kit Rook – Christopher Herondale – and he did not blush. "I'm sorry," Kit said, looking at his feet. "I know she…"

"That's okay. I like being called 'Tibs'. No one calls me that anymore," he said, and Kit looked up, somewhat relieved to see Ty's own cheeks were flushed. "Come on, we're all watching a movie tonight. We'd better go."


	7. Chapter 7

Ty had become accustomed to the sound of Kit waking up in the middle of the night and walking the hallway outside Ty's room to get to the training room. A few minutes later, Ty would hear the sounds of punches, and could fall back to sleep knowing Kit was taking out the stress and sadness that reared its head at night on the punching bag. He was used to waking up to Kit lying outside his door instead of vice versa. He was used to lying on the floor of the training room with Livvy doing work while Kit spent hour after hour practising with different weapons. And all of the Blackthorns were used to Kit slipping silently from the room in tense situations, disappearing to the training room to work out the anger bubbling inside him. Ty was starting to recognise the signs that Kit's composure was beginning to slip, and how to help. Sometimes all it took was Ty's soft voice saying his name, or putting a hand on Kit's back to calm him down. Other times, Kit would bolt, go running along the beach, and Ty had stopped going after him. Kit wanted to be alone when he was like that, not wanting to let anyone see him lose his grip on his poker face. Besides, Ty couldn't keep up with Kit when he was in that mood anyway. Kit couldn't explain the anger; he never had been able to. But now that discomfort of being somewhere unusual was ebbing as he got used to the Institute, the anger was starting to surge again. He was grateful, at least, that Julian never seemed phased. None of them did. Livvy had said their Institute was a little odd. Kit didn't think that was necessarily a bad thing. He wondered if Julian ever wanted to hide them all away like Johnny used to with him, if maybe that's what he was doing with Arthur. Kit had barely seen the elusive uncle since he'd been there, once or twice at a maximum. He wondered if Arthur hated him. According to Ty, he hated them all; especially Tiberius.

Regardless of the Blackthorns generally easy-going manner toward most things, their flexibility didn't extend to one single topic; they wouldn't stop bugging about training. Specifically, they wouldn't stop pressing him to learn to climb and fall. It was the most important skill, Emma told him daily. It was no good being able to fight if you weren't able to fall properly. Climbing, Kit didn't mind. Being at the top of the things he climbed, he minded. And falling off of those things he minded very much. Kit didn't like heights. He'd never liked heights. Even walking along the clifftops, he would always be sure to be as far away from the edge as he could conspicuously be. He doubted any of the others had noticed it, and he'd happily keep it that way. Since finding out he was a Shadowhunter, his pride had only become worse. He'd always hated showing fear, right from being a kid and seeing the tough-talking traders at the Shadow Market. Now, that craving for respect and fearlessness was only greater. He didn't want the Shadowhunters to think he was weak, and that all mundanes were cowardly by association. Kit felt an enormous pressure as a bloody representative for all muggle-kind.

He was staring at one of the gymnastics blocks one afternoon, trying to psych himself up to get on it, when a voice came behind him.

"I finished the books."

He turned and saw Ty, holding the library book Kit had picked out for him in one hand, the other tucked under his arm.

"Wanna go give them back and get some new ones?" Kit asked, trying to hide his surprise. He hated how Ty could just appear out of nowhere completely silently. How long had he been there?

Ty nodded. "Why are you looking at the block like that?"

"I wasn't. I was just finished working with it," he said, shoving it back against the wall. "Come on, let's go."

"I'll get Livvy," Ty declared, and disappeared to retrieve his twin.

Kit watched him go, catching his breath. He would actually have to start doing the whole jumping-off-stuff thing. They'd at some point start to notice that despite Kit's fervent assurances he was practising, he wasn't getting any better at it. When Livvy came bursting through the door, Ty a beat behind her, Kit couldn't help but smile. Livvy seemed like someone forged of sunlight, bright and energetic, a general source of warmth and radiance. Sometimes, Kit felt enchanted by her. It wasn't romantic, he didn't think, but more like a moth drawn to a flame, a pleasant appreciation of the beauty residing within her, the magic caught in her skinny little body.

"We're going to a library?" Livvy asked. Her impossibly long legs, so like her twin's similarly lanky limbs, looked more tanned than usual against her light blue dress. It was times like these Kit wondered how twins could have such different complexions. Well, he supposed it was because Ty would disappear into his room at the slightest hint of sun. "We have a library here."

"A _mundane_ library," Ty pressed happily. "It's like magic!"

Kit laughed. "Do you know how weird it is to hear that from someone who lives in a world of actual wizards?"

"Warlocks," Livvy corrected. "We don't have wizards. We have warlocks."

"Whatever," Kit said as they walked out of the Institute door. He paused. "Wait, shouldn't we…"

"Jules knows," Livvy assured him. She elbowed him in the ribs. "What happened to the rebellious Kit 'I-don't-answer-to-anyone-least-of-all-Julian-Blackthorn' Herondale?"

"Disappeared when he gave up trying to tell stubborn Shadowhunters his name was Rook," Kit quipped back, and Livvy linked an arm in his amiably. A fizz of energy went through him, different to the warmth he felt when Ty touched him that rippled out from the point of contact. This was one, sharp hum of static. Livvy felt like caffeine. Ty felt like falling.

"Are you going to borrow any books, Livvy?" Ty asked. He'd stopped to rescue a snail from the middle of the sidewalk, where it was in danger of being trodden on. He pulled it gently off the tarmac, with a little resistance from its suction-lined body, and placed it carefully on a tree trunk before jogging to catch up with the other two.

"I don't like books. I like computers."

"Books on computers?" Kit suggested.

"Now you're talking," she grinned.

"He was talking before," Ty pointed out, puzzled. Livvy pulled her arm out of Kit's and bent close to Ty to whisper an explanation in his ear. He nodded, looking relieved but flushed. Kit shot him a quick smile, and Ty relaxed visibly. Kit saw the way Ty blushed, writhed uncomfortably when he had to ask for help. It made Kit's heart hurt to see Ty feel embarrassed by something that Kit truly didn't see as all that significant. So what if he asked for help?

"Hey, um, Ty, what's that?" Kit asked quickly, pointing at a bird that had just landed on a low-hanging tree bough just a couple feet in front of them. He had a strange, insatiably urge to make Ty feel smart. He could sense how defeated Ty felt when he needed things explaining to him that other people understood instinctively. Just because you have different knowledge doesn't mean ours is more important, Kit wanted to say. He couldn't say that. That would embarrass him. This was the closest he could get to reminding him that he was just as – if not more – intelligent than them.

"That's a loggerhead shrike," Ty said, a flicker of a smile beginning on his mouth, teasing his lips up at the corners. "Its nickname is the 'butcherbird' because it impales its prey on thorns or barbed wire."

"Like a kebab?" Livvy asked, and Ty nodded. "Nasty," she grimaced.

"How do you know stuff like that?" Kit asked. He hoped he didn't sound condescending, or like he was only asking to be polite. He really was interested how facts that were of passing interest to others found their way into Ty's mind and stuck there.

"'You see, but you do not observe, Watson.'" Ty replied.

"I am not your Watson, Ty Blackthorn," Kit called but Ty was already strolling off ahead of them. Livvy cast Kit an approving look. "So, computers?" Kit asked Livvy. "I would've thought it was Ty who liked computers. You know, since yours is called Watson."

"I think our microwave would be called Moriarty if Ty had his way," Livvy laughed, watching as Ty stroked a hand carefully along the wall a little way in front of them, exploring its texture. "But no, I like computers. Ty likes them because they hold bottomless pits of information. I like programs, code. It's like a secret code."

"Aw, like a little private cipher for you and every other nerd," Kit teased, and Livvy shoved him playfully in the shoulder. "How did you even manage to get a computer? Isn't that against, like, every Clave rule?"

"Yup," Livvy nodded, eyes gleaming. He got the feeling this illegality was at least part of the allure. "When our dad died, Julian gave in," Livvy explained. "Ty and I had always wanted one. I guess he figured we needed cheering up."

"Was he always good like that, your brother?" he asked. "Was he just permanently an adult?"

Livvy laughed. "Kind of, yeah," she admitted. "He was always there to pick us up when we fell over. When my dad went out on missions, Julian was always right there with Mark and Helen, looking after us. He was just another parent. He's great with Ty. Ty used to be so jealous of him he could hardly stand it, but Jules was always there for him." She smiled fondly at Ty. "Ty has a shoebox in his room full of drawings. Jules did for him. He still does them. 15 years' worth of drawings."

"Drawings of what?"

"Of sayings."

"Sayings?" Kit asked, puzzled. He felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion. "How do you draw a saying?"

"Like…" Livvy paused, wondering how best to explain. "You know just now, when he asked what 'now you're talking' meant? I have to explain it to him as best I can. Jules just draws it. He does these little pictures, with explanations on the bottom, and it helps Ty remember better because he can see it visually. But I can't draw for my life so…"

"That's kind of awesome."

"Jules is amazing like that. He's made Ty dozens of those little toys to help him concentrate. He's spent the past 5 years spending hours helping Ty. You have no idea how far he's come since the Dark War. It's…it's amazing."

Kit looked across. In Livvy's voice, in her expression, he saw absolute devotion to her big brother. Kit didn't think he'd ever admired his dad like that. Neither of them said much more for the rest of the walk, side by side in amicable silence. When they got to the library, the quiet continued – somewhat enforced by the librarians. Kit didn't mind. He liked being quiet with Livvy, just being with her without the necessity of words. She bent down to look for a book but Kit found himself moving first, reaching instinctively and pulling out a book to hand to her. She looked at him in a mixture of surprise and wonder.

"That's just what I was looking for. How did you know?" she whispered.

"I don't know. Weird," Kit mouthed, shrugging. "Where's Ty?"

Livvy pointed. Pushed up in the space between two bookcases, just big enough for him to fit, was Ty, a book on his lap and stacks of others around him, like a little fort of novels. Kit grinned.

"Thanks for the book," Livvy smiled. "This is really fun. We ought to do this more often."

He couldn't help but agree.

Kit was sitting in the library at the Institute, reading the Codex. Re-reading. He found a surprising amount of time to read at the Institute, moments snuck between training and lessons. Libraries seemed to be a central theme of his life at the moment. He felt a tug on the leg of his jeans and started, looking down to see Tavvy sat beneath the table Kit was leaning on.

"Oh my God…hi, Tavvy," Kit said, putting a hand to his chest. Oh he'd so almost swore. "What are you doing down there?"

"Will you play with me?" Tavvy asked.

"Um, sure. Make some room for me," he said, and shuffled under the table with the younger boy, crossing his legs on the floor. "What are you playing?"

"These are the Shadowhunters," Tavvy said, pointing at a battalion of green plastic soldiers that Julian had painted into black gear with a careful hand. "And these," he pointed at a group of battered, pale-worn beanie babies. "They're big demons. _Scary_ ones. The ones that Julian and Emma and the grownups fight."

"Ah," Kit nodded. He felt a little self-conscious. He didn't have any siblings, let alone younger ones. He didn't really play pretend when he was little, preferring instead to run around on basketball courts in the park or kicking soccer balls around their raggedy garden, a net drawn in chalk on the crumbling wall. Tavvy thrust a fistful of soldiers into Kit's hand, looking at him very seriously.

"These are me and my brothers and sisters. You need to be very, very careful."

"I will be," Kit promised, looking down at the half a dozen or so plastic figures identical to one another. He was hoping he wouldn't have to keep track of which was which. He counted them curiously. "Hey, there's four too many."

"That's Emma," Tavvy said, pointing. "And there's my sister Helen and her wife Aline, and there's you."

Kit's heart turned over. "Me?"

Tavvy nodded, not even looking at Kit, too busy in his game. He'd made a little box out of Lego far away from the others, and took two figures from Kit to put inside it.

"That's Helen and Aline. They can't live with us. The Clave vanished them," Tavvy said sadly.

"The Clave banished them?" Kit corrected gently.

Tavvy nodded. "Yeah, banished," he agreed, shoulders slumping.

Kit's chest twinged sympathetically. It wasn't fair that Tavvy, at such a young age, had to think about that. It wasn't fair that he was so used to it that, even in his games, his sister and her wife didn't live with them. Kit reached over carefully.

"Well, Helen has been working really hard, see? And she's thinking of ways to come back to you," Kit said, and pulled away one of the Lego bricks, making a small rectangular opening. "Look, they can't escape quite yet, but they're working on it and, one day, they'll come back. Okay?"

"Okay," Tavvy nodded, smiling a little. "We went to Helen and Aline's wedding. Dru lost her flower crown."

Kit stifled a laugh at this odd tangent. "Oh dear."

"We found it, it's okay. Don't worry." Tavvy assured him in the simple candour possessed almost exclusively by small children. He went back to his toys and Kit relaxed a little, some of the inhibitions of being too grown up to play pretend slipping away. Especially when it was just him and his dad, he'd always felt like he had to be far older than he was. It made him happy to see that Shadowhunter children played pretend, weren't all that dissimilar to mundane kids despite the horror and violence they lived with, didn't all have their childhood robbed as Jules had. After a while, Kit's self-consciousness was gone. Tavvy didn't care whether Kit looked stupid playing pretend, so neither did Kit.

"Kit?"

Kit sat up so fast he smacked his head on the table he and Tavvy sat under. Ty winced as he did. Kit was mortified. Here was this person he had an odd urge to impress, who had just watched him playing imaginary games with Tavvy, only stopping to smash his head into a table. When he emerged, his face was crimson.

"Ty, hey," he said, blushing. "Hi, um…I was just looking for my pen and…"

"Thanks for playing with me!" Tavvy called happily from under the table as Kit and Ty left. "Can I come and play with you two?"

"We aren't playing," Ty said, turning at the door. "We're working. But I will come and play with you after dinner if you like."

Tavvy nodded and let them be as Kit and Ty left. Ty watched as Kit put a hand to his blonde hair, feeling for where he'd banged it.

"Do you want an iratze?" he asked.

"No, nah, I'm just clumsy," Kit laughed, embarrassed. "Don't worry."

"You were playing with Tavvy," Ty commented. Kit was about to make an excuse, explain that he'd sort of being dragged into it, but Ty looked pleased. He decided not to say anything. "That's really nice," Ty said, before adding proudly, "I've been investigating."

"Investigating what?" Kit asked, following Ty into the kitchen, where he pulled a butterscotch cookie from a box on the side and poured himself a glass of juice.

"Investigating you," Ty answered. "Do you want anything?"

"I mean, I'd like to know why you're investigating me."

"From the kitchen," Ty laughed. "And I'm investigating you because I'm curious why you're lying to me about being scared of heights."

Kit pulled up short. "What?"

"Acrophobic," Ty said. "You're scared of heights."

"How do you figure?" Kit asked noncommittally.

"The science of deduction," Ty answered, and Kit shook his head fondly.

"So, what evidence do you have, my dear Holmes?" Kit asked, in a vague – and fairly poor – approximation of a British accent. Ty laughed, and Kit tried not to let his face show how beautiful he found Ty's joy. It was so unadulterated. He felt none of the self-consciousness that Kit himself felt constantly plagued by. If Ty found something funny or beautiful or terrible, he would say. He wore his heart on his sleeve. Sometimes, Kit felt like he couldn't even remember where his own heart was.

"Well," Ty said, hitching himself up to sit on the counter. "Firstly, you were disproportionately worried when you saw me on the rafters in the training room, even though you know Shadowhunters spend years training how to fall properly so I probably wouldn't have hurt myself. Secondly, even though you say you practise climbing, I've never seen you do it, which suggests you're practising alone, but that seems unlikely. You have none of the bruises one would expect to see on someone who has fallen repeatedly. It stands that you either haven't fallen yet – thus defeating the point of the exercise – or you haven't started. If you were confident, you'd be working at it alone. You aren't, which means you're unconfident. Probably because you're worried you'll hurt yourself for starters."

"What if I don't care if I get hurt?" Kit countered.

"Of course you care. That much is obvious. You punch things when you're mad, but not with the intention of hurting yourself, and so you're not going to throw yourself off rafters. There's no satisfaction, so it won't help your anger, and you don't want to actually injure yourself," Ty pointed out, as if this was obvious. "And finally, you prefer going to the library via the beach than the clifftops even though it's longer and you're a Rook; you like efficiency. When we do go along the cliffs, like when you ran after me that time, you stay as far away from the edge as you can. When I told you to look down at the promenade when we first went to the library, you hung back even though I went forward, and logic would suggest you ought to do likewise. Unless you had a reason not to, like a phobia. Therefore, I deduce that you are acrophobic."

Kit had to smile despite himself, rolling his eyes. "So? What if I am?"

"Then I will be right," Ty answered, sounding breathlessly happy with his detective skills.

"What, you won't use it against me? You guys won't put me in some kind of endurance test where I have to stand on top of skyscrapers, or hang off roofs by my fingertips? You're not going to…I don't know, laugh at least?" Kit looked taken aback, the happiness draining from his face and being replaced by confusion.

"No," he said, baffled. "Do you want me to?"

"I'd really rather you didn't."

"Is that what you thought I'd do?" Ty asked, a flicker of hurt in his eyes. Kit's heart dropped.

"No, not you. Just…Shadowhunters in general," Kit said quickly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…it's just my dad. He always said that…"

"It's okay. I understand," Ty said quietly. "It's like how the families grew up thinking faeries are bad are surprised when they meet Mark and Helen."

"Exactly," Kit nodded, exhaling in relief. "So," he said, as they went into Ty's room. Kit threw himself down on the bed, wrapping Ty's comforter around him like a plush cape. "What are you going to do now your theory about me has been proved correct?"

He wasn't sure whether he liked the fact that Ty could apparently work things like that out about him. It was somewhat disconcerting. And, more than that, it made him realise how many things he would sooner take to the grave than have Ty figure out. He made a mental note to be more cautious.

"I want to help you," Ty said. "Shadowhunters are taught to use fear to their advantage in battle rather than to be paralysed by it. I want to help you learn to do that."

"You want to teach me to climb?" Kit asked. He could feel his heart pounding.

"I'm great at climbing," Ty told him. "I could teach you."

"I know how to climb. I'm just…"

"Afraid?" Ty prompted.

"I'm not afraid," Kit said stubbornly, glaring at his hands.

Ty gave him a sideways smile. "I'm afraid of stuff too," he said, candid. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone's afraid of something. I'm afraid of the pier."

"You're scared of rollercoasters and stuff?" Kit guessed – wrongly, apparently, because Ty shook his head.

"I'm scared of…" he broke off, and reached over to his bedside table for one of the toys Julian made him, this one a tangle of pipe cleaners. He started methodically ironing them out and untangling them. Kit watched, fascinated. He remembered Livvy telling him about these little tools, but he wasn't sure he'd ever seen Ty use one. Perhaps he hadn't been looking, or – more likely – Ty had learnt to be discrete about it. He doubted he wouldn't have been looking. When wasn't he looking at Ty? "I'm scared of all the lights and sounds."

"What do you mean?" Kit asked curiously.

"They're…they're too intense. The pier is meant to be intense for everyone. Theme parks are meant to be exciting to the senses. But it's not exciting for me. It's just overwhelming," Ty explained shyly. Having finished untangling his pipe cleaners, he tangled them up again and started from scratch, precise as always. "It hurts my brain," Ty said, wincing. Kit saw his face scrunch, as if just thinking about it hurt. "It feels like someone is chipping away at my skull with a pick axe."

The blatant honesty of this statement shocked Kit, his skin crawling imagining it. He couldn't help wondering how Ty saw the world, whether the pleasant hues of the grass and sky seemed overly bright to the other boy, coloured in highlighter pen instead of pencil crayon. He looked at Ty, fidgeting his hands, and felt a shock wave of sympathy like a tsunami go through him.

"One second," Kit said, and got up, rushing to his room. He grabbed what he needed from his bedside table and ran back to Ty's room. "Can I take a picture of you? Of your hands?"

"My hands?" Ty asked, and Kit nodded.

"They look interesting, tangling that thing," he answered. "It'd make a good shot."

"Okay," Ty acquiesced and let his hands fall still as Kit took photos. When he resumed moving them again, Kit kept taking photos, catching the blurry movement. He clicked back to look at the shots and smiled. Ty's hands had blurred with the exposure, pale smudges. Before that first picture, it had been weeks since he'd photographed anything. His heart dropped when he saw the date on that last photo. The day his dad had died. His heart twisted and he dropped the camera on the bed.

"Thanks," he said, and left quickly. He could feel his eyes starting to burn and prickle. He disappeared to the training room, and threw his energy into the punching bag. By the time he was done, no one would've been able to tell the difference between the sweat and tears. Kit's heart was in his throat, beating away, hard and insistent as he sunk down onto the floor of the training room, resting his forehead against the bottom of the punching bag. His forehead was damp with sweat, hair sticking to his face and the back of his neck. He'd punched so hard, so mercilessly that his knuckles were split and bleeding, little pin pricks of red forming on the bumps of his knuckles and smearing, making it look worse than it was every time it brushed against his shirt. His whole body ached, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was a welcome distraction, and Ty had been right; hitting something did help with his anger. Usually, when he felt like that, he ran away, just like he had on the beach, like Ty had along the cliffs. He wondered if he'd have gone after, so high up, if it had been anyone else. He couldn't help but doubt it. He wanted to take Ty up on his offer of help, but the thought of climbing up onto the rafters like Ty had made him feel physically sick. He wouldn't admit it to Ty, but he was petrified. Scared didn't begin to cover it. Besides, to take him up on that offer was to allow Ty to see him at his weakest, and that was just as bad as having to face his fear.

He laid down on his back on the floor on his back. He could feel his spine arching off the ground with every inhale and flattening again with the inevitable exhale that followed. He wondered who his mother was, suddenly desperate to know, here in this Institute. When he'd been born, had he looked up into his mother's face? He must have, surely. But he didn't remember it. He wondered if his mom was a Shadowhunter. Maybe he was and she'd died in battle, and that's why his dad was so fearful of Nephilim. The thought made him nauseous, and he turned to put his cheek against the cold floor. It was a pleasant coolness against his hot face.

It was a while until he pulled himself to his feet and slunk off to shower and retreat to his room. He didn't know how late it was, but from the quality of the light he assumed that it was at least late enough to be unsuspicious. He looked at the clock when he got to his room. 7 o'clock. Eh, good enough.

He didn't fall asleep for hours, and when he did it was fitful. He woke up early, half in and out of slumber, waking up occasionally, unaware whether he was dreaming or not. He felt strangely watched, strangely as if he was been tickled on the cheek by a cobweb. He tried to brush it away, half awake, and it hit something solid. He opened his mouth to shout and a hand went over it fast, a weight on his solar plexus stopping him drawing in breath to cry out.

"Please don't scream," a familiar voice said. He looked up to see Ty sat on his chest, one hand over his mouth. The other hand was fumbling in his pocket to find his witchlight. It sprung into illuminated life. In the strange milky glow, Ty's pale face looked chalky and haunting and beautiful. His dark hair seemed almost blue-tinted in the low light.

"Do you promise not to scream?" Ty asked. Kit nodded. Ty was skinny but he was taller than Kit and bony and the weight of him on Kit's chest was hard to breathe around.

Ty removed his hand and raised himself up onto his knees, looking down at Kit, one knee either side of Kit's chest. He carefully climbed off and started for the door, beckoning Kit after him. Kit felt like he'd had the breath knocked out of him, and he wasn't sure whether it was having Ty sat on his lungs, the shock, or the strange proud feeling of being chosen by Ty. He followed Ty up to the training room, and Ty shut the door behind them as Kit entered after him. When the door closed, he turned the light on, dousing his witchlight and putting it back into the pocket of the hoodie he had pulled over his pyjamas.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kit sighed, pushing the sleeves of the undershirt he slept in up to his elbows. "It's the middle of the night. Are you crazy?"

"I'm helping."

"Helping who?"

"You," Ty said, pleased.

"Have you told _me_ that? I don't feel all that helped. I just feel tired."

"You're scared of heights," Ty bean. Kit interrupted him.

"As we have discussed at a time I didn't want to be asleep."

"And you don't want people to know," Ty went on, as if Kit hadn't spoken. Kit didn't deny it. "And so I'm going to help you not be afraid right now so no one else has to know."

Kit paused at the thoughtfulness of the gesture. He knew Ty sometimes found it difficult to put himself in other people's shoes. The fact he'd thought of something like this made Kit's heart turn over. He was scared, but somehow the knowledge that Ty was the only person who would see him scared was comforting. On the other hand, Ty was the person he least wanted to see him as weak. He looked back to see Ty pushing a block into the middle of the room. He straightened up and gestured to it.

"What?" Kit asked. He had a feeling Ty was expecting him to do something. He just wasn't sure what that something was.

"Get on top of it," Ty instructed.

Kit almost laughed. "You must be joking." When Ty neither laughed nor said anything, Kit hitched himself up to sit on the box, his legs dangling. "Happy?"

"Stand up," Ty said.

It struck Kit that Ty didn't say more than was necessary. Sometimes, especially when he was explaining things or talking about something he was interested in, it just so happened the number of words he thought necessary was rather greater. It made Kit think how much it made him smile when Ty dropped a word into conversation that no one else had a clue as to the definition of so absent-mindedly. Ty used the word that was most accurate to what he meant, rather than what everyone else would best understand. Kit pushed himself onto his hands and knees on the vaulting box and felt a bead of sweat run down his neck.

"Kit?" Ty asked.

Kit stood up shakily, his legs weak. He felt as if his whole body was made of water. He put his arms out to balance himself and took a steadying breath. He swore under his breath, staring at the wall directly opposite him. Anything else felt like far too much effort. Standing, he thought, had never felt quite so difficult. _It's not that high_ , he told himself. But something about standing up made it feel all that much taller. He glanced down and felt the world lurch under him. Before he could scream, hands were there on his back, holding him up.

"Stand back up," Ty said calmly. Kit's heart drummed in his throat, and he could hear his own breath coming in gasps.

"Ty…" he said breathlessly. Ty cut him off.

"It's okay. I've got you. Trust me."

Kit braced himself and stood up. He lasted all of two seconds before sinking down onto the box and running a hand through his hair. He was a little ashamed to feel that his hair was sticking together with sweat. He looked up to see Ty stood before him.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Kit nodded breathlessly. "Sorry. I know this is dumb."

Ty shook his head and sat down on the floor, looking up at Kit. It was kind of nice, Kit thought. Ty was taller than him, and it was nice to look down rather than up at Ty for once.

"I don't think it's dumb," Ty said quietly. He reached into his pocket and offered Kit one of the toys Julian had made him. It was made up of two binder rings looped through one another, and made an interesting clinking sound as they hit one another. They laid on Ty's outstretched hand like a Venn diagram.

Kit shook his head. "Thank you though," he added gratefully.

"You have good balance," Ty said, and Kit gave him a wry look of amusement. "You know, until you doubted yourself and ruined it."

Kit snorted inelegantly and Ty grinned.

"Does this mean I have to drag you down to the pier now?" Kit asked jokingly. Ty's hands started fidgeting and Kit looked down at him. "No, no, Tibs. I was kidding."

"I was thinking we could perhaps try and conquer both of our fears at the same time. We could go down to the pier and go on the big Ferris Wheel on the end of the promenade," Ty proposed. "What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like Hell," Kit answered honestly. "But also like a good plan. Kills two birds with one stone."

Ty looked alarmed. "What?"

Kit cursed himself internally. "I mean we can do two things at once. It's just a saying. It doesn't actually have anything to do with killing birds with rocks." Ty nodded, cheeks flushing. "You know, you don't have to be awkward when you need something explaining. Just ask," Kit said, and Ty smiled a little, muttering something under his breath. "What was that?" Kit asked.

"I said that's easy for you to say," Ty said quietly, averting his eyes.

"Well, think about it like this; you wouldn't think I was stupid for asking about Shadowhunter stuff would you?" Kit asked, and Ty shook his head. "You have to learn all of these sayings and stuff, don't you?" Kit said, with realisation. "You're like…bilingual, and no one ever gives you credit for learning a whole new language. That must be really hard. I never thought about that." He smiled at Ty. "You ought to get more credit."

Without warning, Ty got to his feet and hugged Kit hard, a hug weighted with meaning that briefly took away Kit's breath. Ty didn't say anything, but Kit understood: he'd said something that Ty had always felt. Perhaps people didn't just give Ty credit for everything he did just to fit in, but Kit had, and that mattered to Ty.

"Tomorrow," Kit said. "We'll go to the pier tomorrow."

Ty let go of him, sat back, and nodded. It made Kit's chest hurt to think Ty didn't get any credit for doing what Kit thought of as the unimaginable, living in a world that seemed built to confuse and overwhelm.

"Tomorrow," Ty echoed.

Kit woke up tangled in sheets. He rolled over and saw Ty's hoodie on the floor. They'd both ended up in Kit's room, fallen asleep side by side. Kit slept on his stomach, but Ty slept curled up in a foetal position, hugging his arms around himself tightly and protectively. He always seemed to fall asleep quickly. Kit took at least twenty minutes to slide into unconsciousness. Ty could fall asleep in under a minute. Kit remembered Ty saying to him that he was never still. It made him want to take a photo of Ty while he slept to show him how still it could be. But, he supposed, everyone was perfectly still in a photograph. It didn't mean anything. He wondered how Julian would react if he knew the two of them sometimes fell asleep together. He wondered if Jules would be angry. He decided that was a problem for another time. It wasn't as if it was anything but friendship, a desire not to be lonely, to continue a conversation when tiredness was threatening to consume them. Now though, he was the only one in his bed, no trace of Ty left but the dent in his mattress where he'd been laid.

He sat up and caught side of something on the top of his dresser, a shoebox with a Chuck Taylors logo emblazoned on the side. He wondered whether he was supposed to open it. Surely, if whoever it belonged to didn't want him looking, they wouldn't have left it here? He opened the box and looked inside. Nestled in the bottom were dozens and dozens of pieces of paper, scraps torn from lined notebooks, dimpled watercolour paper, thin printer paper. Scrawled across them all were two things; a few words and a drawing. They were etched in biro, fountain pen, pencil. They spanned a decade of handwriting evolutions, from the wonky joined-up cursive of a child to the practical print Kit recognised from notes on the corkboard in the kitchen as Julian's. The drawings too had gone from crudely sketched cartoons to expertly done pictures. Kit picked one out at random. 'Raining cats and dogs' the writing read, with a wobbly cat and dog falling from a cloud, coloured in felt tip pen. And, underneath, 'Raining lots!' An early sketch. He reached a hand in and took another. 'Horse of a different colour,' the title said. Two horses were expertly and accurately drawn, one in red pen and one in blue. Under, the label read, 'An unrelated topic'. Kit put them back and sat down onto the bed with the box in his hands as he realised what this was. Livvy had told him "You know just now, when he asked what 'now you're talking' meant? I have to explain it to him as best I can. Jules just draws it. He does these little pictures, with explanations on the bottom, and it helps Ty remember better because he can see it visually. But I can't draw for my life so…" These were those sketches. Ty had let Kit look at them. Kit felt his throat go dry. He leafed through a few more; 'wrong end of the stick', 'dark horse', 'dead ringer'. He put them all back when he was done and knocked on Ty's door, box in hand. When no answer came, he ducked inside. No one was there, so he left the box on the bed, and pulled the note he'd made of his own from his pocket, laying it atop the box before he left. 'To kill two birds with one stone', it read, with a frankly terrible picture of a stick figure throwing a stone at two birds. 'To succeed in two things with one action', it read under. He shut the door carefully and went downstairs to get breakfast.

When he reached the kitchen, Julian and Emma were the only ones there, him washing up and her sat crossed legged on the counter next to him, drying the glasses and bowls he handed her. As Kit walked in, Emma flapped the dishcloth in Julian's face, and he flicked some suds at her, making her squeal. She turned as Kit picked up one of the glasses she'd just dried.

"Nooo!" she protested, snatching the glass back. "I just washed that!"

"No, _I_ just washed that. _You_ just dried it," Julian corrected.

"So?" Kit asked, bemused. "Isn't that what it's for?"

"Use one from the cupboard. This one is still recovering," Emma said protectively.

"And the glass is still hot from the water anyway," Julian added rationally, grinning at Kit over Emma's shoulder.

He reached up to get a mug instead and picked one at random. It was light blue with gold writing on that was shiny and a little reflective. It read, 'world's okayest brother'. Kit laughed.

"Is this you?" he asked, and Julian laughed.

"Yeah, the kids got it for me last father's day." Kit considered this while he made a drink. The kids. Father's day. Kit hadn't before been sure quite how deep Julian's role as a father ran. He'd assumed it was a kind of unofficial role, that the others were vaguely aware of but wasn't at the forefront of their minds. Apparently he'd been wrong.

"Is Ty okay?" Emma asked. "He didn't eat much at breakfast."

"He's fine," Kit answered. "I think he's just nervous. We're heading to the pier today."

"Ty hates the pier," Julian answered tensely.

Kit shrugged. If Julian had a problem with it, he didn't say so. Kit grabbed an energy bar, raised his mug of coffee in a 'thank you' to Jules and Emma, and went off to find Ty. When he got to Ty's room, Ty seemed utterly prepared. He was sat on his bed crossed legged, with his backpack on his lap. His headphones were around his neck and a pair of sunglasses was clutched in one hand. In the other hand was a vaguely crumpled piece of paper.

"A map," Ty answered, as Kit glanced at it. "So we know where we're going."

"Surely we're just headed for the huge, precariously-balanced wheel of death," Kit joked.

"Thank you," Ty said quietly, looking at his hands. "For the note."

Kit sat down beside him on the bed and broke his energy bar in two. He handed one half to Ty and ate the other himself. He was no good with all of this 'thank you' stuff. Accepting niceties like that felt uncomfortable. But he also had a feeling that Ty didn't want that sort of fuss anyway, so he was fairly confident that half an energy bar was sufficient on both ends of their exchange.

"Sorry I can't draw," Kit said, blowing on his coffee. "Julian could probably have drawn a better picture."

"It will still help me to remember," Ty told him. "Are you ready?"

"Give me a minute. I'll just finish my coffee and get my camera," Kit said, and set off to his room.

Ty hugged his bag to him and took a deep breath. He had Julian's hoodie on, partly for warmth and partly for comfort. He pulled the too-long sleeves over his hands and shook them to get rid of some of the anxiety. It was a habit he'd developed, pulling his sleeves over his hands or shoving them in his pockets to hide their shaking. It had started when Uncle Arthur came; he hated when Ty shook out his hands. Covering them up hid it, and it was comforting. Now, his heart was drumming away inside his chest, and he wondered if Kit felt the same way. He must, he decided. He wondered what his family would think. He'd avoided trips to the pier for years, had opted instead to sit on the beach and read under a big umbrella. If he had to go, he'd head to the arcade, headphones and sunglasses on, hood up, like a celebrity incognito, and feed cents into machines in the furthest corner of the place. Sometimes, when he sat on the beach, Livvy stayed with him, or Julian. He liked it best whne Mark stayed with him recently. Mark would bury his bare feet in the sand and ask about what Ty was reading, then just sit in the shade in silence, sleeping while Ty turned pages as quietly as he could. Livvy and Julian were so active, they always wanted to be doing something. No matter how hard Ty argued that reading _was_ something, they always wanted him to play volleyball or swim in the sea with them. Both of those things, Ty believed, were for less appealing than reading.

He remembered what Kit had told him, what felt like years ago; that he hadn't been taking pictures because he hadn't had the time. Ty wondered why that was, because Kit was taking pictures again now, and he had just as much time as he did before. He supposed getting acclimatised to somewhere like the Institute took time.

Kit returned, a camera hung around his neck with a homemade, makeshift strap. It was made from an old tie he'd thrifted from some vintage shop on the main avenue. It was a silk necktie with a gold brocade pattern on a dark green background. Two holes cut into the ends secured the camera, and allowed it to hang it about his neck. He raised the camera to his eye and took a picture. Ty smiled when he lowered the camera again.

"Ready?" Kit asked. Ty nodded, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders and shoving the map into his jeans pocket as he stood. "You nervous?" Ty nodded again, and Kit touched a hand to the other boy's shoulder lightly.

They decided to take the beach route toward the pier – much to Kit's relief; he wasn't up for a double dose of exposure today by walking along the clifftops to the huge wheel. The sand was soft and slipped under their feet, and both had their shoes in their hands and were walking barefoot between the dunes. Ty bent down and cupped a shell into his hands.

"What's that?" Kit asked curiously.

"A hermit crab," Ty answered, peeking inside the shell. It was like a little cone, or the swirled top of a cupcake, and from inside a pair of pincers protruded.

"It's a little like you, isn't it?" Kit said contemplatively.

Ty looked at him, puzzled. "What?"

"It just wants to be left alone. And it doesn't like it when everyone is trying to pull him out of his shell, being all loud. But still friendly, it still wants to poke its little claws out curiously, wants to get to see the world in its own right."

Ty smiled. "I guess you're right." The hermit crab poked its head out and disappeared back into its shell. Ty placed it down carefully, flicking his fingers in a goodbye as he straightened up. "Let's go."

"You're eager." Kit grinned.

Ty shook his head. "Eager to get it over with."

Kit nodded, and set off walking side by side with Ty. Ty felt a lot calmer than he thought be ought to be considering the circumstances. However, he could feel the soft lining of Julian's hoodie as he buried his hands into the pockets, and the straps of his backpack against his shoulders, and the band of his headphones against the back of his neck. These sensations were a welcome distraction from what was coming. He wondered whether it would be a little quieter at the pier today, because it was cooler today, not as hot and close as it usually was in L.A. As well as that, it was the morning rather than the afternoon or evening, when it pulsed with bodies like too much in too narrow a vein. If he clenched his hands tightly into fists, Ty could feel the blood pulsing through his fingers, like a heartbeat in his hands. He glanced across at Kit and watched him exist for a while. Kit's eyes were fixed on the shore, where the waves were lapping at the beach, darkening the white sand to a wet bronze. His eyes were like the sky, Ty thought. Like the eye of a hurricane. Everything about Kit felt like a tornado. He was all the things Ty usually hated; unpredictable and evasive, sarcastic and elusive. But when those things were formed into the shape of Kit, Ty didn't mind them so much. Where he would usually have shied away from that kind of intensity, he felt drawn to it. This, he thought, must be why people did crazy things like sky-diving, for this feeling of falling. Maybe this was why his siblings liked the rides at the pier, for this kind of fizzing, excited feeling in their stomach. Kit was a mystery Ty was determined to solve. He wasn't sure why he needed to analyse Kit's tanned skin, or the freckle under his jaw, just that it was important he did observe them in immense detail. Kit turned and Ty looked away. If he caught a flash of Ty's grey eyes as he turned, Kit didn't let on. They'd got close enough to the pier to see the individual parts, rather than it just looking like an interweaving spider web of metal structures. Neon lights in acid green, luminous yellow, and hot pink flashed in intervals all over. Ty held a hand up to shield his eyes, putting on his sunglasses.

"It's the daytime. Why do they need _more_ lights?"

Kit snorted a laugh in reply. Ty glanced up and smiled. Kit seemed to hear every comment Ty mumbled to himself. It was a wonder, Ty thought, that Kit couldn't flip through his thoughts as lazily as browsing a magazine.

"Ready?" Kit asked. Ty shrugged but continued down the pier, into the fray, Kit on his heels.

It was still crowded, even now in the late morning. The crowd enveloped them both and Ty felt sweat run down his neck, even though he was cold. He felt a shiver go up his spine. It was happening. The panic was beginning. He caught at Kit's wrist and pulled him over to the side of the pier, where the railings overhand the ocean. All around him, his senses were being attacked by lights and sounds. People bumping into him sent shock waves through his body like electric shocks. He pushed his headphones over his ears with fumbling hands that opened and closed sporadically. His breathing was loud in his ears, hands up by his face as if he was cowering away from punches. Kit was a blurry figure in his peripheral vision. He could vaguely feel Kit's hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. There were too many things. Light. The reflection of a flashing machine in the reflection of a funhouse mirror. The same machine, reflected a dozen times in a whole row of funhouse mirrors. The smell of cotton candy, sickeningly sweet. Someone bumping into his shoulder. People staring. A voice, saying something. Someone. Kit.

"Ty, it's okay. Listen to me, Tibs. Look at me. Don't look over there at them, just here. Just at me. You don't have to look me in the eyes. It's okay. Just look at me."

Ty felt his vision clear a little, the edges of his sight sharpening where they'd blurred. He was panting, breathing hard. He hadn't noticed. He hadn't noticed that Kit had turned to block him from the crowds, had cleared a space around them. Kit was stood in front of him, facing him, hands on Ty's shoulders. He wasn't making any attempt to move the two of them out of the way, rather letting everyone moving around them like water around a rock, watching the two of them. People were staring as they went past and looking over their shoulders. Kit turned, glared at them, and they walked off, whispering. Kit's hands tightened on Ty's shoulders and he relaxed into the pressure, sagging on his feet back against the wooden rail behind him.

"Okay?" Kit asked. Ty nodded silently. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, face pale and whole body shaking. "Okay, what do you want to do?" Kit asked. "Do you want to go home?"

"After all that?" Ty answered, after a moment. He still sounded a little breathless, and seemed to know. Ty took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and then exhaled. When he spoke again, his voice was steady. "Let's go to the Ferris Wheel. Do you think I ought to check my map?"

"I think," Kit said, pointing up to the huge wheel about two hundred feet in front of him. "That might be it, Tibs, to be honest."

They wove through the crowds and joined the back of the line that Ty knew it would have been later in the day. Half a dozen or so couples, parents and children, and giggling friends were ahead of them. His cheeks felt hot and he couldn't help glancing furtively across at Kit. He wanted to thank the other boy, hug him, _something_ to show he was grateful. Ty sometimes felt like he completely lapsed from consciousness when he was stressed. He didn't know how long Kit had stood there talking to him, trying to get through to him, whether it was seconds of minutes. Regardless, he was grateful Kit hadn't left him there alone.

When they got to the front of the queue, Kit handed over two dollar bills to person working the ride, who ushered them into one of the little cages. It swung under Ty's feet as he sat down on the metal bench. Kit grabbed one of the railings to steady himself and sat down quickly beside Ty, looking relieved not to be attempting to move to accommodate for the swinging. He wiped his hands down the legs of his jeans as the woman slammed the gate of their pod closed matter-of-factly. Kit's hands were shiny with sweat, Ty thought, and glanced up at him, secure in the knowledge he wouldn't be spotted staring because Kit's eyes were squeezed tightly shut like his lips. He was breathing hard through his nose, one hand clamped hard on the bars around them.

"Kit?" Ty said quietly.

As the word left Ty's lips, the ride surged into motion, and they swung into a precarious but slow ascent. Kit's free hand shot out and grabbed Ty's, almost instinctive in how he found it in the dark of his closed eyes. His hands were clammy against Ty's, but Ty didn't mind. He squeezed Kit's hand quickly, and then curled his fingers around the tanned hand in his.

"It's quieter up here," Ty whispered. "I can see the Institute."

Kit made a vague noise to show he was listening. Ty got the feeling he wasn't going to reply, and reached across instead to take the camera on its strap from around Kit's neck. He fiddled with it for a second before he clicked the right button to take a picture of the amusement park below them, of the ocean, of the Institute. He clicked through them, and laughed at the last one. Instead of the Institute, the camera only showed the dilapidated old church that mundanes saw. Ty was instantly tempted to apply a glamour rune and take a picture of himself just to see what would happen. He felt like a vampire, unable to see their reflections, and drew his brain back from the tangent of wondering how vampires shaved if they couldn't see themselves in mirrors. He looked again at Kit and returned the camera around his neck as if awarding him with a medal. Kit opened one eye hesitantly as they reached the apex of the circuit.

"Bad timing," Ty commented. "But it will only get lower from here."

Kit raised his camera to his eye and aimed at Ty, who smiled a blinding smile as the camera clicked, head back to lean his head against the bars behind him.

"You never take pictures of yourself," Ty pointed out. "I looked through a few of them by accident when I was trying to figure out how to work your camera. You have ones of your room at the Institute, but none of you."

Kit let his camera fall against his chest with a dull thud and shrugged. "Why would I want a picture of me? I can see myself whenever I want in the mirror."

"You can see me whenever you like too," Ty pointed out. "And your bedroom, but you still take photos of them."

Kit shrugged again and winced as the people in the carriage above them kicked out and rocked their pod like it was a swing. This time, before Kit could snatch his hand out of Ty's to steady their own pod that was swaying with the motion above them, Ty held on tightly, steadying the ride with his own free hand instead. Kit's hands were still slippy with sweat under his, but warm and soft and unscarred with battle like the rest of shadowhunters'. When they bumped to a stop, the woman who they'd paid pulled their carriage to static so they could get out, and Kit sighed happily.

"Was it so bad?" Ty asked.

"Yes!" Kit replied. "I don't think I breathed the entire time." He laughed. When Ty looked alarmed, he added, "Sorry, I was joking. That's just how it felt."

"You actually breathed more than usual," Ty said, as they climbed out of the ride. Ty's hand came away from Kit's, but when they started walking back down the pier a minute later, Kit took it again. "You breathed more," Ty repeated after the interruption. "Because you were slightly hyperventilating. Not much. Kind of on the border of mildly hyperventilating and just breathing normally but fast."

"I wonder what the point is when it becomes hyperventilation and not just fast breathing." Kit pondered.

Ty's phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket with his free hand. He clicked the screen to show the text, then paled and put the phone to his ear.

"Julian?" he said, and tightened his grip on Kit's hand.

"Ty, get home. Now. I need you and Kit here now," Julian said, voice strained.

"What's wrong? Is it Livvy?" Ty said desperately.

"No, no, it's not that. The monitor just showed a huge demon base has emerged down by the pier. Please tell me you have weapons," Julian begged.

"No. Just my stele," he turned and glanced at Kit. "Oh, and Kit has a knife." Kit looked startled but said nothing. "Send me pictures of the map. We'll avoid the hubs. We're headed back anyway now. Bye."

He held his phone until the text came through, a picture of a map with dots of colour on; yellow in spots, one tiny orange section, and a single bright circle of red.

"The red is where we are, and where the demons are," Ty explained for the benefit of Kit, who looked horrified.

"How did you know I had a knife?" Kit asked.

"The way you hold yourself," Ty answered, picking up his pace across the beach path. "If I had to say, I'd say it was strapped to your calf on your left leg."

Kit glanced down. It was. Of course. Ty and his bloody detective work. "Films make it seem a lot less clunky than it is. I almost stabbed myself about seven times."

"We need to get out of here," Ty said, and Kit could already see Ty prickling, ready to run. Kit had been told a dozen times that Shadowhunters didn't run away. Apparently, this situation wasn't covered in that rule. Just as he considered this, a scream rent the air and Ty spun, heading back toward the pier before Kit could question it.

"Ty!" Kit cried, and started after him. He caught at his wrist and tried to pull him back. Ty shook him off fiercely. "What are you doing, Ty? We need to go back! We're headed straight into…"

"I know!" Ty yelled, and broke free from Kit, sprinting across the sand. That was when Kit saw what Ty was running toward. Everything screamed at Kit to grab Ty and haul ass back to the Institute. The Institute had never felt properly safe to Kit, but it felt a whole lot safer than this. Instead, he plunged after Ty. He was already skidding up to the wet, clumped sand under the wooden pier when Kit caught up. A girl was laid on the sand, the shingle sticking to the dark skin of her bare legs and the edges of her shorts. She was sobbing, her hair knotted across her face, matted with sand. Kit's heart dropped. This was it. This was what all the training had been for. But in the moment, none of it felt like enough. He was utterly unprepared.

Ty turned to Kit and there was a silent plea in his eyes; 'deal with this while I sort out the demon'. Kit nodded and went over to he, bending down by her, the knees of his jeans getting wet and sandy. Ty had his stele drawn and Kit tossed him the knife from his leg strap. Ty caught it deftly and shot him a grateful look as he darted off toward the place where a strong and disgusting odour was emanating.

"Hey, my name is Kit. You're going to be okay. Okay? You're gonna be just fine," he said desperately. Then he noticed it wasn't just water wetting the sand – and the knees of his jeans. It was congealed with red. Blood. He gagged. It was pouring from her stomach, where a huge gash had been torn, revealing the gory parts of her body that Kit would rather have gone his whole life never seeing. He touched a hand to her wrist, and felt her pulse thrumming weakly. When he put his ear to her mouth, the airflow was weak too.

"What _was_ that?" she rasped, her dark skin almost grey-tinted. Her hand reached for Kit's and he took it, squeezing gently.

"Would you believe me if I said it was a demon?" Kit asked quietly. She coughed a laugh, and blood trickled from her lips.

"No," she whispered hoarsely. She looked up at Kit and held his gaze. "Thank you," she wheezed, and then her eyes latched onto Kit. They went glassy and looked through Kit rather than at him. She'd died, he realised, his palm pulling out of her yielding grip. He could feel his eyes pricking and stomach churning. His whole body seemed to convulse as he threw up his meagre breakfast. He was sweating, shaking. In that moment, he finally understood what made Shadowhunters so determined to kill demons. A girl no older than Dru had died holding his hand because of the demon she had no idea even existed. He pushed himself to his feet, and ran toward the place Ty had run off toward.

When he drew close to Ty, it took Kit a moment to comprehend what he was seeing. Ty seemed to be parrying with nothing. Kit blinked hard and staggered back as the form of a demon appeared. As fast as it appeared, it melted away into nothingness. But this time he saw Ty react to it too, whirl around in panic. It was almost pitch black in the cave where they were. As Ty spun, he caught sight of Kit, and his heart slowed fractionally.

"What's happening?" Kit yelled. It echoed off the cave walls, a hundred confused questions.

"I don't know. It's not a demon documented anywhere," Ty said worriedly.

"Are you sure?"

Ty glared. "I know every single demon in the encyclopaedia daemonica. I'm sure."

A flash of cold made Kit turn. The smoky form of the demon was right behind him. Even though he couldn't see any teeth or claws in the shadowy mass, Kit felt a long scratch tear his arm. He glanced down as a cut opened from his elbow to his wrist, blooming with blood. It felt numb and strange, confusing Kit for a moment. He looked at Ty and the image swam. He felt as Ty's hand clamped on his other arm and dragged him out of cave and into the mouth of the rock.

"Are you okay?" Ty asked. "How do you feel? Does it sting?"

"One question at a time," Kit mumbled. "I feel dizzy."

Ty kept his hand on Kit's bicep as he pulled them to the cave wall. The shadowy demon seemed weaker now, less solid in its form and more as if it was sliding in and out of existence. Kit felt a little as if he was sliding in out of consciousness himself. He couldn't help but empathise with the demon.

"Weaker," Kit said faintly.

Ty loosened his grip. "Sorry."

"The _demon_ , you idiot," Kit clarified. "The demon…It's not as strong anymore."

Ty said nothing but pushed Kit toward the cave mouth. The demon surged into reality. Kit gave an involuntarily yelp he thought was probably highly un-shadowhunter-y, and Ty dragged him back into the sun. Kit wanted to protest, tell Ty that all this change of light and movement was making him feel a little sick, when Ty brandished his knife and put it to Kit's throat, holding him in place against his chest, an arm thrown across Kit's body. Kit felt his heart stutter.

"Reach into my pocket," Ty whispered to Kit.

"What?"

"Do it. My right hoodie pocket. Get my witchlight."

Kit contorted his arm and groped around for a pocket. When he found it, he slid his hand inside and pulled out the witchlight. It felt like a hunk of rock, a geode or something, like the lumps of amethyst he used to buy from the museum gift shop when they went on school trips. He felt Ty tense behind, stiffening, but his hold on the knife was steady.

"What now?" Kit asked quietly.

"When I say to, throw it at the demon."

"Are you insane?" Kit hissed. "You have a knife and you want me to throw a bit of shiny rock?"

"Yes, please," Ty replied, removing the knife from Kit's throat, and shoved him forward into the cave, deep into the darkness. The demon formed from the shadows, flinching away from the brightness of the witchlight in Kit's hand. The rays of illumination fanned out from between his fingers. The world was swimming under Kit, slipping and sliding like there was an earthquake. "Throw it!" Ty shouted.

Kit heard the instruction somewhere far away and distant in his mind.

"KIT!" Ty yelled.

The noise snapped Kit back to reality and he hurled the witchlight in an overarm throw that would have made his middle school baseball coach proud. It hit the demon, which exploded into nothingness with a screech. The cave wall dripped ichor, black and tarry, and the smell of it made Kit stagger back, lightheaded. The wailing kept coming, as if the cave itself was screaming, and it shook Kit's brain inside his skull. He turned to see Ty, his face contorted in pain. How loud was it for him, Kit wondered. He didn't have long enough to wonder. He'd barely got close enough for the blurry edges of Ty to become clearer when a great swooping darkness came down like a curtain over his vision. He felt Ty's arms on him, darting forward to catch him as he fell, before he was enveloped in nothingness.


	8. Chapter 8

Kit came around flat on his back in an unfamiliar bed. Livvy and Julian were sat by his side, hovering over him. Kit flinched in surprise and his head throbbed.

"Ow…" he mumbled.

Livvy and Julian jumped at his sudden awakening.

"What happened?" he asked. His voice was croaky and painful. His head didn't feel much better. He looked down at his arm, bandaged from his wrist to his elbow, resting against the starched white sheets. Beneath the cream-coloured dressing, he could see the dark red-brown of dried blood.

"We'll talk about it when you feel better," Julian said, in the calm, grown-up voice that made him seem a decade rather than a couple of years older than Kit.

"Ty?" Kit croaked. Julian stood up.

"I'll tell him you're awake," he said, and left Livvy to stay with Kit. She sat down on the end of his long infirmary bed, legs crossed. She brushed the blonde out of his face tenderly, the action something between a sister and a best friend. She laid back, her head by Kit's feet and rested her feet against the metal headboard that was coolly soothing in the hot sickroom.

"Get your feet out of my face, Livs. I feel queasy enough as it is," Kit joked.

"Shut up!" she grinned. "I'm a _girl_. Every inch of me smells of flowers and rainbows."

"What happened to me?" Kit asked, staring up at the ceiling. He reached for a glass of water on the table by his bed. It was unpleasantly warm, but it soothed his throat anyway.

"Injury from a demon no one has ever heard of. We sent some samples of your blood to Magnus."

"Um, consent?" Kit protested. "I never said you could do that!"

"The ends justified the means," Livvy shrugged. "We need to find out what this demon is, where it comes from, what it can do. It would probably make Ty's entire life if he was credited with discovering a new demon," she laughed.

"I find your reasoning very Machiavellian," Kit grinned.

"Sounds like an Uncle Arthur word," Livvy retorted. "Not my word, not my problem."

"Speaking of Ty, where is he?" Kit asked. He knew it was selfish, that Ty had a life and a schedule and things to do, but he was a little sad that he wasn't there when Kit woke up. It was stupid to expect him to be, Kit reminded himself.

"He went to shower like two minutes before you woke up," Livvy told him. "He was a little covered in your blood and ichor and general demon battle remnants. He'll be furious you came to the only time he wasn't here."

"Anything I can do?" Kit laughed.

"Just close your eyes and pretend to come back around again? Yeah, that'd be great," Livvy joked.

"Just like this, yeah?" Kit said, closing his eyes and letting his head loll fluidly to the side. Livvy giggled, wriggling into a sitting position against the headboard, legs crossed.

"Perfect. Just like that," she replied, cheeks flushed with heat and laughter. As she did, the sound of footsteps came down the hall. As they came closer, they suddenly stopped. Ty's face appeared around the door, his black hair still wet and dripping down onto the neck and shoulders of his hastily pulled-on t-shirt.

"Come here, Ty-Ty," Livvy said, beckoning him over. Ty walked over and touched Kit's uninjured arm briefly and lightly. His anxious face was still shiny with water; he must have just got out of the shower when Julian had told him Kit was awake, Kit realised. "It's okay, Ty. He's alright."

"I was worried," Ty said quietly. Kit had a sudden feeling of déjà vu: Ty had said the same thing after Kit had run away on the beach.

"I'm okay," Kit said, and Ty sat down beside Livvy on the bed. "Are _you_ okay?"

"I didn't get hurt by that demon, if that's what you're asking."

"That's not what I'm asking," Kit said seriously. "I'm asking if you're okay. Are you?"

Ty nodded. "I am."

"I'll tell Jules you need to stay here for a while. Just try and sleep and heal up a bit, okay? We can talk about what happened when you feel better," Livvy said, standing up.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Let's go now. I barely remember anything anyway. I don't know how much I'll be," Kit said, struggling to sit up. Ty and Livvy both hurried to help him. His head felt like it was filled with rocks. Despite the fact he kind of hated accepting help, he let the twins pull him up, one on each side of him, their arms around his back. The three of them went down to the library, where the others waited. Only Arthur wasn't there. Even Tavvy sat there on Julian's lap, running a toy car up and down the arm of the chair, making racing noises.

"Kit!" Tavvy cried, scrambling off Julian's knee and barrelling into Kit's legs, hugging him hard. He only came up to Kit's waist, but he hugged Kit's stomach earnestly regardless.

"Hey, Tavs," Kit said, ruffling the boy's hair. He saw Julian and Emma exchange a look, but their gaze on him was soft.

"Are you okay? Mark said you were sleepy because you hurt your arm," he gabbled. Kit sat down on a sofa and pulled Tavvy onto his knee. Livvy sat down beside him.

"I'm just fine, Tavvy. Don't worry."

Emma sat herself on the edge of Julian's chair, perched on the arm where Tavvy had been playing with his cars. Ty went over to the computer and started typing away, trying to find some indication of what the demon they'd encountered could have been. The tapping of his fingers on the keys was like a metronome as Julian prompted Kit to explain what happened.

"I don't even know," Kit admitted, running a hand through his hair. "There was this girl, under the pier. She was a mundane, and this demon had killed her. I sat with her until…" he swallowed hard. "And then I went after Ty. It – the demon – was in the cave down by the bay. It was just…smoke. I've read that whole Codex and I have no idea what that was. Ty was fighting it. It swung at me, I guess, and cut my arm. I didn't see what it cut me with. It just…did, with nothing. No claws or…or teeth. Just smoke. We started to back out and Ty put his knife to my throat and then…"

Everyone turned to Ty, sat at the computer, his legs crossed on the office chair under him. Even Tavvy paused mid car race to turn and stare at his older brother.

"You did what?" Emma asked, gawping at the back of Ty's hand, at his still-damp hair curling with humidity.

"I put my knife to Kit's throat," Ty repeated. "Kit just said that."

"Why?" Mark asked, perplexed. He was looking around as if he was wondering if he'd missed something.

"Because I needed him to listen to me and I didn't have time to tell him the plan," Ty answered, still typing. There was a beat of silence before Julian spoke.

"Tiberius, look at me," he said firmly. Ty spun his chair around and stared at the base of Julian's throat. It always confused Ty why people were so insistent he looked at them when they spoke to him. _I listen with my ears, not my eyes,_ he always wanted to say. Regardless, he kept his gaze where it was. Julian went over to him and sat down on the desk.

"You're sitting on my papers," Ty complained under his breath.

"Sorry," Julian said, carefully moving them. "Tiberius, you can't do things like that. You can't put a knife to Kit's throat – anyone's throat – because you need something from him."

Ty agreed. "I was protecting him," he said quietly, flushing.

Julian paused. He wondered if any of the others had even heard him say it.

"Okay, okay. I know," Julian said evenly. He dropped his voice to talk to Ty. "Tell me what happened, Ty-Ty."

"He was already injured. I couldn't let him get hurt even worse. I only put that knife to him because I knew he would throw himself at that demon, try and kill it. I'd already worked out it was photophobic."

"Photo…?"

"Light averse."

"Yeah, sure. I know," Julian bluffed.

"And so I needed to keep him close to me in the sun so he didn't run straight into the demon's trap. If he'd gone into that cave, I know he would have died, Julian. I…"

"I know," Julian said, and turned in reaction to a voice at his shoulder. Kit.

"Tibs," Kit said, and Ty turned to look at him. Properly at him, Julian thought wistfully. Into his eyes. His gaze caught there, magnetised.

"I never meant to…"

"You've done that twice," Kit said, a half-smile on his mouth, and sat down on the desk Julian had just vacated to go back to sit with Emma. "You did the same thing at my house; do you remember?" Ty nodded. "99% of the time, if you asked me to do something, Ty, I would do it without question. I'm listening, Tibs. I promise. I'm listening and I hear you."

Ty nodded and smiled up at Kit, one of the smiles that made Kit's chest hurt. The rest of the rom had occupied themselves in conversation, averted their gaze. It felt too private, too intimate, to be witnessed from the outside. Livvy was listening though, having waved away Mark when he tried to talk to her. 'I'm listening and I hear you'. Maybe that was the problem, the key to why Ty responded so well to Kit, Livvy thought. Sometimes, she had to admit, they didn't listen to Ty. They didn't always listen to Jules either, or Dru, or Tavvy. They all got ignored sometimes but because Ty was so reserved, Livvy wondered if, sometimes, not only did they not listen, but they didn't even take the time to hear him. The rest of them were fairly adept at making themselves well heard when they had something to say. But Ty wasn't like that.

"Ty, do you want to play a game?" Livvy asked, standing up and going over to him and Kit. "We could play Clue. You like Clue."

"Sure," Ty said, starting from his chair. "It's in my room. I'll go get it."

As he left, Livvy turned to Kit and linked her little finger with his. 'Thank you', the gesture said. He smiled in return, and wondered if this was what having a Parabatai felt like.

That night, when everyone else had retreated to bed, Livvy cornered Kit in the hallway. His arm was wrapped in fresh bandages and his hair wet, the aftermath evidence of his shower.

"Hey, come with me," Livvy said, and turned down the hall. She didn't have to beckon him; he followed her without prompting. When they reached her room, beside Ty's, she offered him a seat at her desk. It suddenly felt very like a business meeting, Kit thought in amusement. When she sat herself down, crossed-legged in her tank top and pyjama shorts, he relaxed slightly. She wasn't about to bring out a briefcase. No sooner had he relaxed had she began the meeting's agenda.

"So we're in this together now," she said matter-of-factly. "Yeah?"

"Um, yeah?" Kit said, puzzled. "Wait, what are we in? I don't wanna join some freaky Shadowhunter cult where we harvest organs as a sacrifice to greater demons or anything."

Livvy wrinkled her nose. "Gross." She pitched forward on her elbows. "And no, I mean, sticking up for Ty. We're in this together now, right?"

"Oh, obviously," Kit said happily. Livvy glared.

"This is serious!" she said firmly. "You can't be one of the people he thinks is a friend who's talking crap behind his back. Because I know those people, and they certainly know me," she said coolly. "And they know my weapons too."

Kit held up his hands innocently. "I'm not planning on flaking," he promised. "And I'm not talking crap about him either. You know I wouldn't."

"I know." Livvy nodded, smiling sweetly. Kit marvelled at how quickly she could change the mask of her expression. "But I needed to freak you out a bit. It helps to weed out the people we can't trust."

"Aren't you worried Ty will hear us talking about him?" Kit asked, pitching his voice low, just in case. "His room is right next door."

Livvy grinned. "You have much to learn, young grasshopper. Firstly, these walls are so thick they're basically sound-proof. Secondly, it's quarter past ten. Ty's brushing his teeth in the bathroom down the hall."

"That's creepy. You know it's creepy, right?" Kit asked as she picked up a hairbrush and started combing out her long brown locks.

"Twin telepathy," she shrugged.

"I always wanted a twin so I could do stuff like that." Kit grinned. "Maybe an identical twin so I could swap places with him. What's it like?"

"Having a twin?" Livvy asked. Kit nodded. "It's awesome. It's like having a best friend who just so happens to be your family. They're automatically your favourite, and you don't get lonely because there's always someone there. It's what I imagine having a Parabatai is like. I know they say there's no stronger bond than Parabatai, but I think this must be pretty close."

Kit smiled. His skin was tingling with the warmth of her voice, of her happiness.

"Well, why not ask him to be your Parabatai then? It's not like he's going to the scholomance anymore, so you're not going to be, like, holding him back from what he wants or whatever."

She shrugged. "Maybe I still would be. I think maybe he wants to be your Parabatai."

Kit shook his head firmly, almost laughing. "No, no. I'm pretty sure he doesn't. I don't think he wants one at all, and I wouldn't pick him anyway."

"Why not?" she challenged.

"Nothing against Ty," he assured her quickly. "I think I'd just rather pick you. If I was going to have a Parabatai, who better than you?"

"Shut up." Livvy blushed, shoving him affectionately in the shoulder.

"It's true," he replied.

"And how are you so sure you and Ty couldn't be Parabatai anyway?" she asked suspiciously.

Kit's stomach turned, but he didn't react visibly. He was a professional scam artist, he reminded himself, and shrugged. "You're his twin. If he was going to be anyone's Parabatai, it'd be yours," he reasoned. "And I'd kinda like to be your Parabatai. I like you. I think we'd be pretty badass together."

"Someone is talking like a real Shadowhunter now." Livvy grinned. She kissed his cheek and she laid her hairbrush down on her desk. "And thank you; you're sweet." She took his hand and squeezed it. "I'm glad we're friends."

"Me too." Kit smiled.

"Best friends?" Livvy asked.

Kit nodded. "Best friends."

It was getting close to sunrise when Kit finally fell asleep against his will. He couldn't tell his mind to quiet. The dead girl on the beach haunted the space behind his eyes. To avoid thinking of her, he thought of Livvy. Being around her felt electric. Her kiss on his cheek was like a live wire. But it wasn't a romantic kind of electricity. It felt like he was more alive when he was with her, like she lit some kind of spark in him. He was beginning to seriously consider what being Livvy's Parabatai would mean. The most important thing in Livvy's life was Ty, and Kit couldn't help thinking that them being Parabatai would only be an asset in protecting him. And besides, Kit had been alone his whole life. It was always just him and his dad against the world. Then his dad started at the shadow market, and that left Kit alone, on his own against everything and everyone. It would be nice to have someone else on his side. He and Livvy against the world, he considered wistfully. That would be quite a spectacular force. This bright thought was like a night light, and he finally slept.

Kit rolled over and sleepily checked his phone. His eyes flew wide as he sat up; 9:30. He was late for his first proper day of training. How had he forgotten? This fact had been decided upon last night, in response to that day's demon attack. Kit climbed out of bed, yanking socks on and slipping a little on the polished wood floor as he dove for his closet. He pulled a pair of jeans and sneakers on, dragging a faded t-shirt over his bedhead. The shirt had a picture of Captain America's shield on. He doubted anyone in this place bar him knew what that even was.

He flung his bedroom door open and only just managed to stop himself yelling out loud. Ty's dark hair was scattered across his sneakers, Ty smiling at him, upside down.

"Hi!" he said happily, rolling to his feet. Kit was still catching his breath.

"Insanity," Kit mumbled, pushing a hand through his sleep-ruffled hair. "Absolute insanity."

"Your hair is all stuck up," Ty said. "Like you've been electrocuted."

"Thanks," Kit said sarcastically. "Good morning to you too."

"Do you want something to eat before training?" Ty asked, putting his hands into his pockets. He emptied out their contents into his hands. "I have an energy bar, a bag of dried mango, and…" he counted them. "Eight grapes."

Kit burst out laughing. All his fear from last night was gone now it was daylight, now he was with Ty. "I'll take the mango. You're like one of those flight attendants who bring you little bags of peanuts."

Ty popped a grape into his mouth, passing Kit the bag of mango pieces.

"Am I late?" Kit asked around a mouthful of fruit.

"Oh yeah." Ty nodded, swallowing. "Like an hour late. They told me to check whether you were up at half past eight."

"Why didn't you?" Kit demanded, exasperated.

"I did. You weren't awake. So I let you sleep." Ty gave him a mischievous sideways look. "If anyone questions you on it, you can blame my pedantic literalism. No one told me to wake you up if you were still awake. They just said to check whether you were up, and you weren't."

Kit almost choked. "That's terrible!" he laughed.

Ty just grinned. "Just be grateful for the lie-in. Let's go," he said. As he turned, he threw a grape at Kit, who gave a startled yelp as it bounced off the corner of his mouth. He caught it in one hand and tossed his head back, catching it in his mouth.

"Smooth, right?" Kit said, and Ty shook his head.

"Not at all," he answered, and threw a grape into the air, catching it in his mouth and giving Kit a smug look.

"Now you're just showing off, Blackthorn," Kit said, and Ty opened the door to the training room before they could talk anymore.

By ten, Kit was sweating and breathing hard. The things that seemed easy for the others made Kit's non-existent abs hurt. He'd spent so much time ducking from Ty's punches that he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. Ty was very careful to make sure none of the blows actually hit home, and looked apologetic as he knocked Kit off his feet again with an artful hook around the ankle. Kit spluttered, the breath knocked out of him, and laid out on the floor, feeling defeated. Ty tossed him a water bottle as Kit sat up.

"Okay, let's go again," Emma said, and Kit groaned. "Switch, Livvy," she called, and Livvy turned from where she'd been sparring with Julian. "Come work with Kit. Ty, you go with Jules."

Livvy's hair was coming out of the braid Emma had secured in long rope that hung down her back, swinging back and forth as she bounced over to Kit – _to kick his ass_ , he thought grimly. She reached a hand down to pull him to his feet.

"Is everyone this bad?" he coughed, getting his breath back. She shook her head, reaching a hand down a sleeve of wooden training knives from a shelf on the wall.

"No, but then we've been practising since we could hold a stele," she laughed, handing him a knife. "You're a Herondale. It'll click eventually."

"I wish I believed you." Kit sighed, rolling the wooden blade in his hands, the material smooth and solid between his palms. Livvy watched him closely, and said nothing for a long time. It made Kit feel slightly judged. Suddenly, Livvy shook her head.

"No. Knives don't fit you," she said.

She reached for a sword on the wall and swapped it for the knife. He held it awkwardly; it didn't quite sit in his hand right. It was heavy. It hurt his arm to even hold it by his side, let alone to brandish it. He glanced across at Emma. Her blade, Cortana, looked even heavier but she wielded it as if it was made of balsa wood. He sighed, and Livvy smiled sympathetically.

"Come with me," she said, and led him from the training room. Julian glanced their way as they left, but didn't move from he stood, warning with Ty. She took Kit's arm, linking it in hers as they walked. He smiled. "How are you holding up?" she asked, and he looked across at her. "The first time seeing someone die in battle is crappy. I remember."

"I sometimes forget you guys get hurt by that stuff too," he admitted. "You always seem so…good at just getting on with it."

She shrugged, and he felt it in the hitch of their linked arms.

"We are. But just because we're used to it doesn't mean it doesn't suck," she told him. He nodded.

"I'm okay," he said, trying to sound genuine. It sounded fairly unconvincing to Livvy. He sighed. "She died while I held her hand, Livvy. It was…intense. It had barely sunk in yesterday, I still felt so sick from passing out. Training is difficult though. Fighting is bringing everything back, you know?"

She stopped at a door and reached up to hug him, her arms going around his shoulders. He paused for a second before he wrapped his arms around her back, melting into a hug. It felt good to be held, for someone to invite him to feel something for once. He took a steadying breath and stepped back. When she pushed open the door they stood before, Kit stared. It was full of racks and hooks, and on each one hung a weapon, more weapons than Kit had seen in his entire life previously, even at the Shadow Market. Despite himself, his stomach leapt at the sight of so many clean, sharp weapons. Livvy grinned and beckoned him in.

"That's the look of a Shadowhunter if I ever saw one."

"Just the look of a teenage boy, I think," he replied distractedly, looking around the room. "This is kinda the dream of any Nerf gun wielding 15 year old."

She laughed. He felt like he was being beckoned into the teachers' lounge. It was weirdly exciting.

"Can I touch them?" Kit asked, reaching a hand toward a sword.

"Don't let my brothers hear you say that," Livvy winked. "That sounds a little suspect."

It took Kit a moment to understand what she meant, and then he burst out laughing, stroking a finger down the flat of the blade before him in awe. "It's beautiful."

"Let's find you a weapon," she said, and he looked at her.

"Are you serious?"

"Happy birthday."

"My birthday was three months ago," he pointed out. "Bit of a late present, isn't it?"

"Nope, just nine months early for next year," she corrected, and grabbed a folder from a table in the middle of the room. She flipped it open and Kit saw what it was; a registry of every weapon that had ever been in here. "What are you feeling? Not a sword. Not knives. Any preferences?" He shook his head. "That's okay. We can try a few different things."

"You know, if shoe shopping was like this, I wouldn't actually mind," he said, and she smiled.

"Weapons are cooler," she agreed. "Though I do love a good pair of shoes," she admitted, hopping up onto the table and waving her jewelled tan sandals at him. He caught at her ankle and tickled the exposed edge of her foot. She squealed and kicked his hand away.

Livvy flipped the pages of the binder file, making little noises of consideration every time she came across a weapon she thought Kit might like. When she got to the end, she started moving purposefully through the room, unhooking pole-arms and blades and range weapons with a happy calm. Kit smiled, and sat on the table, glancing between and binder and Livvy. She looked, in that moment, for all the world like her twin when he had a task to complete, moving with an intention that seemed to make her feel in control. Even the small furrow between her brows and the determined set of her chin was identical to her twin's. It made Kit's heart twist. He wondered if anyone had ever looked at him and his father and mused over how alike they looked. He doubted it.

"This," Livvy said, putting down an ivory sword with a gold hilt. Then she laid two more weapons down. "And these," she added.

"What are those?" he asked. He pointed to the first one she'd laid down. "I mean, _that's_ a sword."

She grinned. "A gladius. But that's Latin for 'sword' so I'll give you that one. One out of three. Bet you can't name the others."

He looked between them and pointed at one, a long, sharp, and narrow blade. "Um, a lance?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "A misericorde."

"Bloody hell, bit of a dark name," he said. "A misery chord?"

"Misericorde," she corrected. "And it actually means 'mercy' in French."

"French, Latin; your language lessons sure are thorough, aren't they?" he asked. She giggled. He looked at the last one. "Well, that's a bow," he said confidently.

"So close," she said, holding her fingers a small way apart, leaving a tiny gap between them. "Gakgung."

"Shut up!" he laughed. "You're kidding!"

She held her hands up. "Swear on the Angel!"

He swore, laughing, and looked down at the weapons. "You can't be content with just 'sword' or 'knife', can you?" he asked.

"Never," he teased. "What do you take us for? It's partly Uncle Arthur's fault. He loves all this stuff, historical weapons and international armoury. I promise most institutes aren't this…"

"Weird?" he joked. She pushed him in the shoulder and he yelped, trying not to fall off the table he sat on.

"Do you have a preference of these three?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I can't even pronounce them, Livs. I have absolutely zero preference."

"We'll take them all to the training room and you can try them out," Livvy said, shoving the gakgung into his arms and scooping the other two into her arms.

When they returned, Livvy laid the weapons she held down on a table and turned to Kit, who looked slightly pressured as everyone in the room turned to him.

"Why does Kit have a gakgung?" Emma asked, bemused.

"It looks like a normal bow that's been sat on," he mumbled. Julian laughed, pausing from his sparring with Ty.

Livvy went to a cupboard mounted on the wall and handed Kit a small band.

"It's a thumb ring, to protect your fingers when you draw the bow. When you loose an arrow you're going to hold it up over your head like this," she said, demonstrating. "And then release."

"I mean, I'm pretty confident," Kit joked. "I did do archery at summer camp."

"Oh, sorry, Alec Lightwood," Livvy teased. "Do proceed."

Kit awkwardly raised the bow up, resting the nock against the thumb ring, pulling it over his head before lowering it to eye level and releasing the arrow. He watched as it hit the outer ring of the target, then lowered the bow again to fist pump.

"Yesss!" he cheered. When no one else reacted, he looked a little closer at the target. He couldn't help noticing that there weren't too many puncture marks on the outer rings. The red bullseye was almost entirely devoid of colour from the number of hits it had received. Still, no one said anything, then Ty spoke.

"That wasn't good, but it wasn't as bad as I expected."

Emma let out a little cackle.

"Try the misericorde," Livvy suggested kindly, handing it to him.

"They're so cool!" Ty enthused, abandoning his work with Julian to go and look at the weapon. "In medieval times, they used it to kill badly wounded knights, to bring them a mercy death stroke. The blade is so thin it can go right between the plates of armour _and_ fit through the visor to stab the eyes!"

"Morbid fascination," Kit grinned, picking it up. It fit well into his hand and his arm felt warm, welcoming the blade into the security of his grasp. He finally understood Emma with her Cortana, Julian with his crossbow. He exchanged a glance with Livvy, who nodded.

"I don't think we need to try the gladius," she smiled.

Emma beckoned him over to her and drew Cortana.

"Spar with me, Herondale. We don't have nearly enough swordsmen in this institute. I've been waiting for one of the kids to say they want to learn to fight with a sword." She looked at the twins. " _To no avail_ ," she added. They shrugged in unison.

"Glad to be of service," Kit smiled, and raised his blade.

The clang of metal on metal made Kit's heart race, made his whole body go cold and focused, the feeling of real battle without the danger of it. He understood the look that had been on Ty's face when that demon had attacked on the beach, why he'd run toward danger; the rush of fighting was exhilarating. When they finally stopped, Emma was grinning. She high-fived him proudly.

"Nice work," she said, and Kit smiled gratefully.

Kit woke up tangled in blankets and sweating. It had been a week since the demon attack, and they still had no idea what the thing on the beach was. It was like knowing a killer was still on the loose, unidentified. It could be anything, the situation seemed to taunt. It could lurk in any of the dark shadows that were cast by the nooks and crannies of the Institute. Kit had never been scared of the dark as a kid, but now he slept with the lights on and skirted the shadows when they went out. He avoided going out as much as possible, only feeling properly safe when Emma and Jules were there. He hated that. He didn't want to rely on anyone; especially not someone who was already treating him like a charity case, taking them into her home when he had nowhere else to go. Kit had brought up to ask for help from no one, and certainly never to further push on the assistance offered to him. That was partially why he said nothing about the fact he'd hardly slept in days. He imagined that nightmares were a dime a dozen in this place; no one needed his problems on top of their own. The whole building was a mess of panic, everyone trying to figure out what this demon was. There had been a vague effort for the couple of days after the attack, but then the Clave had sent reports of a further attack that sounded bone-chillingly familiar. Since then, the efforts had been increased tenfold. Nothing felt safe. Even looking in the mirror made Kit's heart jump for fear something would appear behind him; specifically a smoky mass of nothingness that could knock him out with its poison. The mark on his arm was healed with the help of some iratzes, but a long scar still showed where it had happened.

As stupid as he knew it was, Kit still woke up in cold sweats, occasionally crying out. He'd caught his breath and lay back down, burrowing under the comforter, feeling like a child. Tonight was no different. He rolled over and checked the time; 2:17 in the morning. That was plenty of time for another nightmare or two to hit before he could get up without seeming weird. But today, a knock came at the door, sharp enough to make Kit yell. The door flew open and Julian burst into the room, eyes wide.

"What's wrong?"

He said it so like he would've to the twins or Dru or Tavvy, and Kit was so tired, so utterly taken off guard by Julian knocking on his door at two in the morning that he said nothing for a while.

"Kit?" Julian said, looking worried.

The younger boy opened his mouth to say something but it stuck in his throat. All he could form was a startled sob. Julian shut the door quietly and said nothing as he came over to Kit, sat down, and took him in his arms as if he was no older Tavvy. It only made Kit cry harder. Julian made soothing shushing noises, one hand stroking Kit's blonde hair that was wet with sweat from his nightmare. Kit's cheek was pressed against Julian's shoulder, and he was only vaguely aware of the fact he was probably ruining Julian's shirt with tears. Closer to the surface was a bubbling feeling of shame over the fact he was here crying into Julian Blackthorn's shoulder in the dead of night. He could feel his cheeks, hot and red, and tried to make himself care. It wasn't working. His pride had slipped from between his fingers long ago, when he'd accepted their home as residence. His father would be so ashamed of him, but again, he'd let his dad down the second he'd accepted sanctuary from Shadowhunters.

"I'm so tired," Kit sobbed, body shaking, wracked with sadness.

"I know," Julian said softly, resting his chin on Kit's hair. "It's okay."

"It's not! I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to be a Shadowhunter. I can't sleep, I'm scared all the time, and I just want to go home. I want my old life back. I don't want to be here, but I'm too scared to leave. Julian, how do you do this? My dad might have been wrong about you, but he was right that this life sucks. Please, please take me home, Julian."

"You know I can't do that," Julian said gently.

"How can you guys sleep knowing demons like that one attacked us on the beach are still out there? A girl died holding my hand, Julian. I can see her every time I fall asleep. I feel so sick knowing I didn't save her. I couldn't save her."

"There was nothing you could have done, Kit," the older boy said, stroking his back carefully in soothing circles like he did with Dru when she got hurt. "No one is expecting you to save the whole world."

"How do you sleep knowing there's things you can't kill and people you can't save?" Kit whispered. He'd finally stopped sobbing, but tears still burned in his eyes. He let them fall. He had no dignity left to be damaged, he thought, sinking against Julian, who put an arm around him. "How do you cope knowing stuff like that is out there?"

"We just do," Julian said simply. "I don't know. We're numb to it. What you feel is probably a far healthier reaction. Even Dru is accustomed to it. Even Tavvy is starting to think all this is normal. It hurts sometimes. I kind of wish I could keep them all away from it like your dad did."

"You're a better dad than mine ever was," Kit sniffed, finally able to breathe a little. Julian's hand was still stroking at his hair. He did the same thing with Ty, Kit remembered. Ty didn't always like a lot of physical contact, but he would lean into Julian's hand like a cat having its ears scratched when his brother stroked his hair.

"I make a lot of mistakes," Jules admitted. "I'm not even a real dad. I'm just a kid trying to figure all of this out. I'm making it up as I go."

"I can empathise with that," Kit sighed.

"You're one of us now, Kit," Julian said, shifting so Kit moved his head and looked the older boy in the eye. "And, as you've seen, we're all pretty interlinked. That means, since you're one of us, you're connected too. You might be lonely, Kit, but no Blackthorn is ever alone."

Kit blinked hard and rubbed away the tears that had slid down his face, smiling a tight-lipped smile.

"Try and get some sleep, yeah?"

Kit nodded.

"Do you want me to ask Ty to come in?" Jules asked, and Kit shook his head firmly.

"No. I'd rather you took this kind of conversation to the grave, if I'm honest," he confessed. "I have a reputation to uphold. _Please_ , don't say anything."

Julian agreed. "I won't. You know where my room is. It'll be alright. You'll get used to it, for better or worse."

He ruffled Kit's hair one last time, stood up, and left, flicking the light out as he went. For the first time in a week, Kit didn't lunge to turn it back on.

"Wake up."

Ty rolled over and almost hit Kit in the face in a sleepy attempt to bat him away. He made a tired, confused noise. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and winced at the light it produced as he checked the time.

"It's only 6:04," he groaned, burrowing under his comforter. "Go away."

"Come on, isn't that what you Shadowhunters do?" Kit questioned. "Up all hours, ready for a battle?"

"But there isn't a battle," Ty mumbled, shuffling over to make room for Kit beside him. He turned to look at Kit in the early dawning light. It cast an angelic golden glow over him, making him look more like Jace than ever. But it also highlighted the concerning elements of his face that Ty had been noticing for the past few days; his eyes were shadowed by rings of dark purple, his skin pale. "Besides, you look terrible," Ty added bluntly.

"Thanks, dude," Kit said, rolling his eyes.

"It's true," Ty said simply, and tugged at his arm. "Stay here for a while. I'm still coming around. It's early."

He felt the mattress springs shift under him as Kit laid down and Ty let his eyes close again, his body feeling heavy with tiredness, seeming to sink further into the mattress as he fell asleep, Kit's own eyes closing only a minute later. It usually took Kit ten minutes or more to fall asleep after he lay down, but now he was unconscious almost the second his head hit the pillow.

It was Ty who woke first, facing Kit. He really did look awful, Ty thought. Well, not awful. He was Kit; he would never look awful. But his olive skin was closer to Ty's own pale complexion than to the bronze tan that made him look so like Jace. His blue eyes looked less vibrant when they were shadowed by dark circles. He looked exhausted. Ty reached over and turned the alarm off on his phone. Kit was sleeping and it was probably best to keep it that way for as long as possible. He laid back down as carefully as he could, and curled up to fall back to sleep.

"Livvy, that's my sweater!" Dru complained.

"And it is just so cosy," her older sister taunted.

Julian shushed them, putting a big bowl of chopped fruit down in a vain attempt to silence them with food. "Kit is sleeping," he said. "He needs to rest. He's still healing. Don't wake him up arguing."

"I'm tired too," Tavvy pouted, putting his head down on the table.

"Kit is even more tired than you," Emma said, ruffling Tavvy's curls. "Now have some fruit. Look, there's pineapple, your favourite. Eat it quick before I eat it all myself."

Tavvy spooned some fruit into his bowl, looking resigned. Emma grinned.

"And Dru, you have a free pass to borrow one of Livvy's bracelets for today in revenge," Emma declared, banging her spoon down like a gavel on the table. "A verdict has been reached. No arguments about the ruling."

Jules was trying to hurry the others along. Another report had come in last night to say that there had been a further attack bearing all the marks that were becoming synonymous with the demon that had attacked Kit and Ty. Jules was reluctant to tell Kit about this. All the better if he stayed asleep while they investigated. It was only on the way out of the door, he stopped, Livvy blocking the way with her hands on her hips.

"Um, do you want to double check you've got everything?" she glared. "Like, I don't know, my twin?"

Julian's mouth opened, and he ran a hand through his hair apologetically. He kissed the top of Livvy's head, her scowl melting. "I'm sorry, Livs," Jules told her. "I didn't sleep all that well and I've got a lot on my mind. I'll go wake him up. You guys head down to the pier. I'll wake Ty and the two of us will meet up with you. Tell Emma I'll call her so we can meet up."

Livvy nodded and turned, running down the steps after the others. Julian walked back through the hallways, feeling guilty. He was almost always doing a mental roll call of all the kids. It wasn't often he forgot one of them, but he was tired and now he had Kit to think about too – and he was thinking about Kit a lot after last night, wanting to make sure he was okay. Nevertheless, he felt awful that he'd failed to note Ty's absence. When he knocked on Ty's door, he did it gently, calling his name quietly so as not to disturb him. It was the least he could do after almost leaving without him. When no reply came, Julian pushed the door open as quietly as he could to try and muffle the slight creaking of Ty's door when the jambs moved. He only got through the first consonant of his little brother's name before he froze. Ty was curled up, one arm thrown across the sleeping boy beside him. Kit's blonde hair spilled across Ty's pillow, the plush bee Julian had given his little brother clutched in Kit's own arms. The worried crease that had been a permanent fixture between Kit's eyebrows recently had ironed out and the sight of Ty rocked Julian back like a wave. When they were younger, after Jules had to kill his own father to protect the children, Ty had fallen apart. For ten years they had been working hard with Ty to help him cope with the daily stresses of life that were more manageable for other people. But when their father was gone, when their routine had broken down, Ty collapsed along with all his coping strategies. He'd screamed and cried and hit out at Julian whenever his older brother had tried to get near. It hardly stopped until he fell asleep, and only then when Livvy laid next to him and held him tightly. She would cuddle up to him, her face pressed to his messy hair, his back flush to her stomach. Ty would wake suddenly in the night, feeling around desperately for Livvy, and she would reach for him and hold him in her arms again. Julian remembered waking to the sound of Livvy's high, ten-year-old little girl voice saying.

 _"_ _It's okay, Ty. I'm looking after you. Julian needed to kill daddy. He was looking after us. Don't cry."_

Ty was groaning, the same word again and again. 'No.' It sounded pained, Jules had thought. When Ty had heard Livvy crying though, he fell silent. He made a low humming noise of comfort, patting her arm.

 _"_ _Don't cry,"_ he repeated, the same way she had earlier. _"Don't cry, Livvy. It's okay."_

He held her and patted her arm. Privately, Livvy thought he was patting too hard for it to be particularly comforting, but she didn't say anything. The fact he was trying to copy what Livvy did to comfort him was more than enough to make her stop crying, to feel a powerful surge of love for him. They'd fallen asleep in each other's arms, and Jules listened to it all, heartbroken.

Now, looking at Kit and Ty curled up together, Julian couldn't help but think of a ten-year-old version of his little brother. Julian backed away quietly from the room and shut the door, turning back down the hall, and pulling his phone out. He clicked Emma's picture and put the phone to his ear.

"We're barely at the bottom of the hill," Emma told him. "Want us to wait?"

"I'll catch up with you. Emma, should I wake Ty up?"

"Jules, that was literally your only job. Yes," Emma laughed.

"No, Emma, he's with Kit," Julian explained. There was a beat of silence before Emma replied.

"Leave them. We have a job to do. This demon needs to be found, and fast."

"I know, but…" he sighed. "Hang on, I'll call you back when I'm leaving."

He hung up and grabbed a pen and paper to scribble a note;

 _'_ _We've gone to investigate the demon at the beach. Left you in bed. Call if you need anything. –Jules.'_

He shoved it under the door and left, pulling his phone out to call Emma and locate her and the rest of the kids.

"All sorted?" Emma's familiar voice asked. He nodded in reply before realising she couldn't see him. By the Angel, he really was tired.

"Yeah," he told her. "I'm heading out now. I wrote them a note saying where we'd gone and pushed it under the door."

"You're an idiot," she answered. It took Jules a moment to realise she wasn't psychic and thus did not know about the whole nodding-down-the-phone thing. "Julian, you colossal moron. Go and get that note. They're fifteen year old boys. Do you know how pissed they'd be if they thought you were going into their rooms and watching them sleep, you adorable freak?"

"I wasn't watching them sleep and it was Ty's room," Julian protested, mildly offended. "My little brother is late for a mission. It's not my fault I was a good sibling and went to get him, check he wasn't dead, the usual."

"After you forgot him. He's going to be mortified," Emma groaned. "Get that note and get out before you cause more trouble."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jules mumbled.

"It's what I do." Emma laughed and hung up before Jules could reply.

Julian had sprinted back up the stairs to Ty's room before his phone had even fully disconnected from the call. He quietly opened the door and froze. Ty was wrapped in his blankets, sleeping soundly, but Kit was gone – and, Julian thought, frustrated, so was the note. Julian ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and went out to meet Emma. When Julian appeared, the others ran off toward the beach. Livvy paused.

"Ty?" she said, questioning.

"Sleeping," Julian told her. "Go and catch up with the others. Look after them."

"Mark is there," Livvy pointed out.

"I know. He's included in the people you need to look after," Julian asked wryly. Livvy laughed and ran off after her siblings.

Emma rolled her eyes at Jules and elbowed him in the side affectionately. "You're an idiot."

"And I didn't get the note," Julian sighed.

"You didn't go back?" Emma demanded incredulously. "I told you that…"

"Kit had woken up and taken it."

"Oh my God, what did he say?"

"He'd gone back to his own room, I assume. I didn't see him, and I didn't really have time to stick around and chat. I haven't been fifteen for two years, Emma," he reminded her. "I don't know what's going to tick them off."

"Oh, I know, so long ago," Emma quipped back sarcastically. "Yeah, you'll be glad to know that since then it's become really socially acceptable for your big brother to casually wander in and out of your room at will without knocking."

"I did knock!" Julian retorted. "He was asleep!"

"Julian!" Dru called. "Mark is yelling at a seagull that screeched at him and people are looking!"

Emma and Julian exchanged a look, and burst out laughing.

That night at dinner, Kit avoided Julian's eyes like their gazes meeting might be deadly. Kit had said nothing of the note to Ty, and when Emma cast a curious look between the two of them before exchanging a glance with Julian, Kit willed the floor to swallow him up. His cheeks flared and he stared down at the plate, embarrassed. Ty glanced across at him, puzzled.

"What's wrong?" he asked. The whole table turned to look at him.

"Just tired," Kit muttered.

"Julian said you were really tired," Tavvy piped up. "You slept through the mission."

"I did," Kit agreed. "How was it? Did you find anything?"

"I found a seashell!" Tavvy exclaimed.

The Blackthorns all started talking at length – and over the top of each other – about the mission and Kit sat back, listening to it, grateful the focus was no longer on him. Kit's insides had been tying themselves in knots all day. Knowing Julian knew, and knowing that mattered to him more than it ought to, forced him to face up to the thing he'd refused to let himself dwell on since he met the Blackthorns; he liked Tiberius. He liked Tiberius in a way that made Kit feel ill at the thought of the Blackthorns knowing how he felt. He was confused and embarrassed and frightened at the same time, a gamut of unpleasant emotions churning inside him. He was Kit Rook. He'd kissed a girl for the first time in third grade, a girl with floral dresses and ankle socks called Molly. He'd had his first girlfriend at ten – the pretend little kid kind of relationship that involved picking each other to be gym partners and giving her his last piece of gum. This whole thing with Ty was making him start to question everything. He knew he liked girls – but he also couldn't deny that he felt equally strongly about Ty. He'd never liked anyone like this. Only Julian saying his name yanked him out of his spiral of internal panic. He looked around to see everyone else's empty plates, his own food just absent-mindedly pushed around his plate with his fork.

"Kit, do you mind helping me with the dishes?" Julian repeated for the third time. Kit thought momentarily about making an excuse, but nodded. He'd hesitated too long, distracted, to make any excuse believable. At the knowledge none of them had to wash up, the Blackthorns scattered from the kitchen, Emma shutting the door behind them, muffling the sound of Mark attempting to herd his younger siblings into the lounge to watch a movie. As the door closed, leaving Kit and Julian alone, Kit realised the whole thing was a trap. Kit pulled on a pair of yellow washing up gloves and started filling the sink with water and dish soap, both of them silent.

"So…how did you sleep after we talked?" Julian asked after a long time.

"Fine," Kit answered. "Look, Julian, I'm not…we aren't like you and Emma, me and Ty, okay? Just…leave it."

Julian almost dropped the mug he was drying and spluttered. "Emma and I aren't…that's against Clave rules. Parabatai can't…" Julian scoffed. Kit raised an eyebrow. "Let's forget about it. I won't ask about you and Ty, you won't ask about me and Emma. Deal?"

"Sounds good to me."

"I'll finish these dishes. Go watch that film with the others." Julian sighed. "I'll come and join you in a second."

Kit pulled his washing up gloves off and gave Jules a small smile as he left.

"What are you watching?" Kit asked as he opened the door to the lounge. Ty winced at Kit talking over the film and Livvy shushed Kit, beckoning him over. Livvy moved closer to her twin to make room for Kit on the loveseat that didn't quite fit the three of them on. She leaned across and whispered in his ear.

"It's Spiderman. Now shush. Do you wanna swap so you can sit between me and Ty?"

Kit shook his head and Livvy shrugged, laying her head on his shoulder and reaching across to take Ty's hand, stroking it firmly. He smiled across at her and they turned back as one to watch the film.

When the film ended, Tavvy was asleep on Dru's shoulder. Julian, who was sat on the floor, turned around to pick him up, making Tavvy mumble a protest that he wasn't even tired, cut off by a yawn. Julian smiled and hitched Tavvy onto his hip. The girls and Mark stood up, stretching as they got to their feet. Kit had fallen asleep at some point in the film – and was pretty sure he'd drooled on Livvy's sleeve a little too – but he was awake now. He checked his phone.

"You're all going to sleep?" he asked. "It's half past eight!"

"Julian asked us earlier to all go to the library for a meeting after the film to discuss what we found at the beach today," Mark explained.

"Can I come?" Ty asked, sitting up.

"Not much point. You need to check the case notes first from earlier. We'll catch you both up tomorrow and you can help us," Emma told him. When she saw Ty looking a little disappointed, she gave him a conspiratorial smile, ruffling his hair gently. "We need you to do some serious deducing, Ty-Ty," Emma said seriously. "No use starting at half past eight. We need you in top detective form. You know I'm no good at that stuff. You're best at it."

Ty grinned and sunk back into his seat, slumped lazily against the sofa arm, his legs pulled up next to him in the space between him and Kit where Livvy has been sat. His foot nudged Kit's leg as he rearranged himself and Kit jumped like he'd been shot. Ty looked at him, looking hurt, and Livvy's gaze on him was puzzled. She shrugged and left, asking Dru if she'd braid her hair in the meeting. _Productive_ , Kit thought wryly.

Ty cast a sideways glance at Kit as the others left them, shutting the door, and stared at his hands. His stomach felt all mixed up. Kit was mad at him. His mind was whirring with everything and anything he could have possibly done wrong, knotting his fingers into the hem of his sweater anxiously. He could've said something wrong, or done something wrong. But Kit had barely spoken to him all day. He'd been holed up in his room all day, saying he was doing work. Nevertheless…

"I'm sorry," Ty blurted into the silence. "Are you mad at me? Have I done something? Is there something wrong?"

Kit looked startled, and shook his head slowly. "No. You haven't done anything wrong, Tibs."

"W-what's wrong?" Ty asked. "Because I didn't mean to do anything so if I have, I'm sorry. It was a mistake."

"I'm fine. Don't worry," Kit said, slightly more tersely than he'd meant to. He saw Ty's face fall.

"Please tell me. I-I'm scared, Kit," Ty admitted anxiously, knotting his hands together. Kit turned to him and pushed back the urge to take Ty's hand and stroke it matter-of-factly the way Livvy did when he was stressed. Instead, he just looked at him, wondering what to do. Ty waited in the silence and the longer it stretched, the more worried he felt. He pulled his knees up to his chest, rocking on the balls of his feet a little, his chin tucked down.

"Ty, I promise it's nothing you've done. But we can't do this. _I_ can't do this."

"Do what?" Ty asked breathlessly.

"This…you and me. I'm sorry."

Ty felt his eyes well. It always ended like this. It always ended. People never stuck around for long. It was Paige Ashdown all over again. All of this was an elaborate ruse. Of course. Because Kit was Kit, and Ty was Ty. Why had he thought that now, at fifteen, something would magically change and he would finally make a friend? Well, he'd thought it because that's what he'd been waiting for his whole life, for someone to come along and take the spell off him that made him different to everyone else. So far, no warlocks had pulled through on that. And it looks like they still hadn't.

"Why did you say you wanted to be my friend if you didn't mean it?" Ty asked quietly.

"Ty…Ty, no. I would love to be your friend. I really want to stay friends. I'm just…" Kit took a deep breath, glad Ty's face was hidden so he didn't have to meet the other boy's eyes as he said "I have…I think I have a crush on you." Before Ty could even open his mouth, Kit was on his feet and pacing, hurrying to go on. He couldn't be on that sofa with Ty. He wanted to put as much distance between them as he could. "Don't worry, I'm…This is probably just a passing thing, or…or a phase. It's probably just because you've been nice to me and all this Shadowhunter stuff is complicated so I'm just confused, I guess. Besides, I'm a teenage boy, we're meant to get confused and stuff, right? And I really don't want this to screw anything up because I _do_ really want to be your friend and I don't want you to freak out because I don't expect anything from you." He paused for breath and to look at Ty, still curled up but no longer rocking. "Ty…please say something," Kit said, breathless.

Ty's heart was beating out of his chest, thrumming against his ribcage. His face was burning, a fierce blush spreading across his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. That was one of the very worst things about being pale. Livvy always said that Ty couldn't hide his emotions, and neither could his complexion.

"You have a crush on me?" he whispered. He heard Kit made an agonised noise.

"I need to go," Kit said. The yearning to put distance between him and Ty was growing stronger. He turned to go and Ty leapt to his feet and grabbed for him, pulling him back by his hand. Both of them glanced down at their hands and let go at the same time.

"Please don't go," Ty said, and Kit looked at the pink flush on Ty's cheeks. Was he embarrassed by what Kit had said? "I…I like you too."

Kit scanned Ty's face for any sign of what exactly that meant, but for all Ty's transparency, he was totally unreachable in that moment. Kit's whole body was shaking, and he felt like he was going to faint. His throat felt tight, like he was going to cry. He wasn't going to cry.

"Like Holmes likes Watson?" he asked quietly instead.

Ty's blush deepened, and he shook his head, turning his eyes to the floor. When he finally looked back up, it was with an intensity that made Kit's breath falter.

"Kit?"

"Yes?"

Ty leaned in and kissed Kit's cheek so quickly and lightly, his lips barely brushing Kit's skin, that Kit wondered whether it had happened at all. Before he could react, Ty had turned and hurried from the room, leaving Kit stood in the middle of the floor, legs weak beneath him. He sunk down onto the rug and put his head in his hands, laughing quietly to himself, feeling giddy and terrified at the same time.


	9. Chapter 9

Ty was laid in bed and reached for his phone. It was 10:31 and he'd been laid on his mattress on his own for two hours, his heart beating so fast his chest hurt. He pulled up Livvy's text tab and started typing.

'I need you to keep a secret.'

He saw her typing bubble appear and his heart faltered.

'Is it illegal?' she replied. 'Does it involve you keeping animals in your room?'

'I kissed Kit.'

Seconds later, his bedroom door opened and Livvy ran in, shutting the door behind her and throwing herself down on the bed beside him. Her eyes were wide, but she said nothing. Instead, she crawled under the covers next to him, laying her head in the crook between his neck and his shoulder.

"Delete that conversation," Ty demanded. Livvy obliged, Ty doing the same. "Are you surprised?"

"No." Livvy shrugged, stroking his hair absently. "A little surprised, but not really."

"Livvy?"

"Yeah?"

"How…how do you date someone? How do you date a boy?" he asked quietly. Livvy turned to look at him, at his closed eyes and the lingering blush still clinging to his cheeks. She could feel his thumping hard.

"I wouldn't know," Livvy answered honestly. "I haven't ever kissed a boy. I should have been first anyway! I'm older!"

"By, like, one minute," Ty countered. He paused. "Is it..is it difficult to like someone?"

Livvy smiled. "I don't know. Do _you_ think it's difficult?"

"I don't know. A little bit. But I like Kit," Ty answered.

"I like Kit too," Livvy said, rubbing his shoulder affectionately. "Can I stay here with you, little brother?"

Ty nodded, and put his head on her shoulder, rolling over to face her. She put a hand up and tugged on a curl that hung over his forehead.

"I love you, Ty-Ty," she whispered.

"I love you too," he answered, listening to her breath, the steady rise and fall of her chest as she fell asleep. He focused on matching his own breathing to hers until he too fell asleep.

It was Livvy who woke first, her arm flung across Ty protectively. She sat up and nudged his shoulder.

"It's pancakes for breakfast," she said happily, shaking him awake. "Come on, I wanna get in before Emma takes the last of the syrup."

Ty groaned sleepily and sat up. Livvy went over to his desk and picked up the comb he never used to run through her hair. She handed him the matching brush and he half-heartedly attempted to tame his sleep-mussed hair. She glanced at him in the mirror's reflection. He was perched on the chest of belongings behind her, angling himself to be able to see the mirror over her shoulder. She wasn't entirely sure how to begin this conversation, but who knew when she'd next get such a perfect opportunity? The two of them got a lot less time alone together nowadays.

"Ty, do you think you might be interested in a…relationship with Kit?" she asked, forcing her voice to sound casual. "Do you know what that might entail? Being in a relationship?"

"Yes," Ty answered, abandoning his hairbrush. "Dr Watson and Mary Morstan are in a relationship."

"That's true, yeah," Livvy said, nodding. "But real life relationships aren't always like the ones in the books you read. Real life relationships are more complicated than that."

"Why?" Ty asked. "Books are meant to be grounded in realism so we can identify with them. Why wouldn't they be accurate?"

"Well, because sometimes writers exaggerate things in their books to make it dramatic so it's interesting or so more people buy it," Livvy explained. "You might need to learn how to have a relationship like you had to learn to act in front of the Clave, or how to read facial expressions. But you _can_ learn it, Ty-Ty, just like you've learnt everything else."

Ty looked at her. "Livvy," he asked seriously. "Does everyone have to learn everything like this?"

She hesitated before nodding. "Sure, just differently. We'll figure it out, the two of us. I'll help you." Ty nodded and she sat down beside him on the old wooden chest at the end of his bed, putting an arm around him. "Ty, he likes you. You don't need to change. He doesn't want whoever you think you should be to be like everyone else. He doesn't like everyone else. He likes _Ty_." She stood up. "Let's get pancakes. I'm starving."

When the twins reached the kitchen, everyone else was already there; Kit sat on the end of a bench engaged in some discussion about mundane horror movies with Dru. He was telling her about some movie about a woman in black that he thought she'd love when he glanced up to see Livvy and Ty. He smiled as them, blushing, and went back to his conversation with Dru.

"First pancakes are up," Julian called from the stove, and Ty grabbed a plate, going over to get it. Livvy glanced at Kit and wondered whether he felt different. Did Ty look different? She supposed not, but a first kiss was pretty…big. Was Ty even Kit's first kiss? She didn't know how to feel that it had happened to Ty before her. Maybe it was wrong of her, but she'd always assumed it would be the other way around. She swallowed down a feeling of jealousy and leaned across the table to join Kit and Dru's conversation.

"You know, Dru, we've been going to the Mundie library. I bet you could find some good horror books there."

"They'll have the book that film is based on," Kit chipped in.

Dru smiled, nodding. "I'd like that. You guys wouldn't mind if I came with you?"

Livvy shook her head. "Of course not." It occurred to her suddenly that Dru was never invted along with them. It was an age thing, but it still wasn't fair. "You're always welcome along with us," she added, and Dru cast her a grateful look.

"We could go today," Kit suggested.

"No," Ty said, sitting down beside Livvy. "We're having a meeting today about the mission yesterday. Right, Emma?"

"Absolutely right, Sherlock," Emma nodded, holding the almost-empty bottle of syrup over the heads of the Blackthorns, whose hands had shot out to grab the last drop.

Ty lifted his plate calmly out of the way of the four pairs of determined hands. Julian was attempting to calm with scuffle with an authoritative voice. It wasn't working. He sighed, casting an apologetic look at Kit.

"I bet you don't have to deal with that as an only child," he said, and Kit laughed.

"No, not really."

"No!" Dru protested as Emma poured the last of the syrup onto her pancakes. Emma laughed, dipping a finger in the small puddle of stickiness and dotting it on the end of Dru's button nose.

"Damn right," Emma grinned triumphantly.

"Emma said 'damn'," Tavvy said, scandalised. Ty reached for his headphones and put them on to drown out the chaos, spearing a bite of pancake in resignation. He and it exchanged an amused look, and Ty kicked gently at Kit's ankle as he looked away.

As soon as everyone had finished eating, Emma stood up.

"Meeting in twenty minutes. Library. We need to talk about what we found out at the beach ad whether it will actually help us identify this mystery demon."

Kit was the first to leave, even though he was ready and the twins were still in their pyjamas. Ty got up to follow him and opened his mouth to call the boy's name. He felt strangely tongue-tied though after last night, and turned off up the stairs before Kit could notice him.

Ty was in his element. The meeting was in full swing and while everyone else sat fairly absently taking it in, Ty was scribbling notes and leaping to his feet at intervals to get tall stacks of books, flipping through indexes and shoving in scraps of paper to mark relevant pages. By the time the meeting was over, everyone else was looking down at their half page of notes whilst Ty flipped through his extensive scrawlings and copied passages from books.

"Look, we might be here for a while. Does anyone want a drink?" Julian offered. There was a clamour of agreements but Ty didn't react. "Ty?" Jules asked, getting no reply. He tapped on his brother's book gently with the end of his pen. He didn't want to startle him; when Ty was focused, there was nothing outside himself and what he was focused on. Ty looked up, pushing his headphones down. "Drink?" Julian repeated.

"I'm busy," Ty replied, and went back to his books and notes. There were diagrams nobody else properly understood, and shorthand that no one but Livvy could truly decode. Kit had to smile at the state of Ty's hair, which seemed to be growing messier the more excited he got. He really was like a detective, Kit thought. He would hate to be any police officer trying to decipher his scribblings that, whilst very neat, seemed to have no explanation or link to one another.

"Photophobic. Smoke. Emitting high noise when injured," Ty whispered to himself over and over. Livvy rested her cheek on the table, watching him piece everything together. It was one of her favourite things to do. Ty was rarely happier than when he got to play detective. It was his very favourite thing, ordering everything and putting all the puzzle pieces together that no one else could begin to understand. He yanked on a curl and repeated the words, faster this time. He looked around at the arch of books spread before him and suddenly made a leap of triumph, jumping to his feet and darting off into the book stacks. Livvy and Kit exchanged a look and burst out laughing.

Livvy could hear Ty muttering to himself quietly, eventually letting out a frustrated noise of annoyance.

"We don't have it! We need this book and we don't have it!" he said in annoyance. He appeared from between the book stacks, hair in a state of disarray and hands opening and closing.

"Come and sit down. We'll find it," Livvy said soothingly.

"I can tell you what this demon is if I have this book. I need it now," he said, panic creeping into his voice. He turned as Julian walked in, carrying a tray of drinks. "Take me to the New York Institute."

"Slow down, slow down. What's happening?"

"I know what this demon is," Ty said, hands flapping at his sides. Kit was struggling to decide whether he was stressed or excited or both. He started shuffling Ty's papers together into a neat pile and paper-clipped them together. "But I need a book and we don't have it. The New York library is bigger. There's a higher chance they'll have it. We have to go now."

"You have a lead?" Julian asked, amazed. "I left for two minutes. How have you…?"

"Julian!" Ty said desperately.

"Okay, calm down. I'll call Clary and Jace."

Ty sprinted off, stopping only to grab up the notes Kit had bundled together with a grateful smile, leaving the others looking between each other wondering how one teenage boy, five books, and some notes could crack open a case that no one else could make heads nor tails of.

Ty and Julian stood before the portal, waiting for the surface to come into whirring life. Emma had managed to convince the others to stay home, arguing over the clamour of protests that it was stupid for all of them to go retrieve one book. Julian glanced across at Ty, shifting from foot to foot restlessly, and smiled, a wave of affection rocking him. Ty was still staring impatiently at the portal, waiting for the New York side to open.

"I'm really excited to find this book so we can know what demon we're up against," he said.

"I know. Thank you for helping us, Ty-Ty. It would have taken Emma and Mark and I months to do this on our own."

"I like it. It's interesting and…relaxing."

"You don't seem very relaxed," Julian commented.

"I'm having fun. Looking for this book, and solving all the clues; it's like doing a crossword. You fit all of the right answers in, and they interlock, and then the highlighted squares give you your answer," Ty said excitedly. Julian put an arm around him, hugging his brother against him. The portal made a low whirring noise like the fan of a computer and Ty looked up at James.

"Go ahead," Julian said, giving him permission to jump into the portal, which he did, Jules himself only a second behind.

When Julian came through the portal, Ty was already about to take off to the library. Clary and Jace were waiting by the portal, looking startled.

"Ty, come and say hello," Julian said firmly. "It's rude to just run off when you get here."

"Don't worry," Clary said, smiling. "He's got a job to do. We understand." She raised a voice to talk to Ty. "Hi, Ty!"

"Hello, Clary. Hello, Jace," he called back, and ran off.

Julian shook his head fondly and turned to the others. "Thanks for having us. We won't be long."

"You're always welcome," Jace told him. "I hope we've got this book you need. What do you need it for?"

"There's this…demon on our territory. We have no clue what it is and the Clave are freaking out. I don't blame them. Whatever it is, it's killing mundanes."

"By the Angel," Clary said, shaking her head. "And it isn't in the codex? Or the encyclopaedia daemonica?"

"There's no trace of it even existing," Julian explained. "Well, except for in this book we're currently tracking down."

"Let's go help him out," Jace suggested. "That library is huge. It'll be easier if we look together."

"Thanks." Julian smiled gratefully. "I'll let you guys lead the way."

However, by almost four that afternoon, there was still no sign of the book, and Clary and Jace seemed to be running out of various corners of the library from which to produce books. Ty was getting more and more impatient, and by late afternoon he had his headphones on and his bundle of pipe cleaners in one hand. Julian put a hand on his shoulder gently.

"Come on, Ty. We'd better head back, make sure Mark isn't covering the kitchen in sugar again," Julian said, ruffling his hair.

"No, Julian, we haven't found it yet," he said, sounding frantic.

"I know, but it looks like it isn't here," Julian replied. "I'll call around some other institutes when we get home. How about the London Institute? That has one of the biggest Shadowhunter libraries anywhere."

Ty, sat on the floor against a bookcase, pulled his legs up, rocking slightly on his heels. He squeezed his eyes closed and Julian bent down and held him tightly against his chest calmingly.

"Ty, it's okay," he said quietly. "It's okay."

"Julian? Is everything okay?" Clary asked. "Is Ty alright?"

Julian nodded. "We're okay. Just give us a minute. We'll be heading off in a minute."

"I'll go get you some water," Jace said, and disappeared, Clary behind him.

"Ty, why are you upset?" Julian asked. "I know you want to know, and that not knowing is difficult but…"

"Kit can't sleep," Ty said breathlessly, wriggling out of Julian's grasp. "He told me that he couldn't sleep knowing the demon was out there and he looks sick. I need this book because I need to find this demon because I want Kit to be okay."

Julian felt his heart clench and he couldn't help but feel a strong surge of pride at the amount of effort Ty was willing to go to to help a friend, at how empathetic and caring his little brother had grown up to be. Sometimes, Julian wondered if he was guilty of imagining his younger siblings as they were in the Dark War. But Ty wasn't ten anymore. He was fifteen, and it was nice to think Julian might have had a role in shaping who Ty was becoming.

"Okay," Julian said, nodding. "Okay, I understand. Let's ask Clary and Jace if they know anywhere we might be able to get this book."

"I'm sorry," Ty whispered, and Julian stroked his brother's black hair off his forehead affectionately.

"Don't be. You're a good friend for doing this, Tiberius."

They both turned at a knock on the wall near them to see Jace and Clary, her with a glass of water in hand. She handed it to Ty and he took it gratefully.

"Do you know anywhere we might be able to find this book?" Julian asked.

"Magnus might be your best bet," Jace suggested.

"Good plan. I'll call him tonight," Julian said. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Ty repeated after him. He looked at Julian. "We should get back for dinner."

"You're right. Let's go," Julian agreed.

"The portal is open. Say hi to Emma for us," Jace said.

"Tell us how the book search goes," Clary added when they were leaving.

"I will," Ty said, and gave them a smile before he and Julian stepped into the portal to take them back to L.A.

"Ty, come help the make drinks," Emma said at breakfast the next morning. "I want to talk to you."

"Where's Julian?" he asked, going over to perch on the counter where she was cutting up fruit to make smoothies.

"He has to report to the Clave about this demon in the afternoon. He's called Magnus and Alec, and they say you're welcome whenever you like."

"So I can go today?" Ty asked.

"I think Julian wants to go with you," Emma explained.

Ty considered this briefly. "How about if he portals with me this morning and then goes to the Clave meeting after. Would that work?"

Emma shrugged. "I'll ask for you when he wakes up. He ought to say yes. You're fifteen, and this is part of a mission. I can't see why that shouldn't be fine."

Julian had an extensive list of reasons why this idea was very much not fine, and yet he still ended up in the exact same situation as he had the day before, preparing to portal to NYC with Ty in tow. Magnus had texted him to say the portal was active, and Julian took a deep breath before he followed his brother through the portal's swirling, disorienting vortex. When they landed in Magnus's lounge, Julian couldn't help his inner artist mentally taking photos of the space to draw later. Whilst Julian had no clue about interior decorating, his creative eye could certainly appreciate the aesthetic of the place.

"Hey there," Magnus smiled as they staggered through the portal Magnus had opened. He turned and called over his shoulder to Alec. "The Blackthorns are here."

"All of them?!" Alec's voice replied, sounding stressed.

"Just me and Ty," Julian assured him, amused.

It wasn't long after that Alec emerged, one blue baby on his hip and a black-haired child peeking out from behind his long legs.

"You've met Rafael and Max," Alec said, hitching Max higher onto his hip. "Do you want to say hi to Julian and Ty, Rafe?"

Rafael leaned out from behind Alec's legs, waved, and retreated back shyly. Alec smiled fondly and Magnus scooped Rafael into his arms, turning to Ty.

"We have a few boxes of books in the study back there," Magnus told Ty, pointing. "I had a cursory look through last night and I couldn't see the one you wanted, but you're more than welcome to look yourself."

"Thanks," Ty said, and disappeared into the office Magnus had pointed out. Julian turned to head back through the portal, then paused. Ty was really tense about this whole demon thing, and Julian was petrified that Magnus and Alec wouldn't understand, would make it worse. What if they tried to stop him shaking out his hands like their dad used to? It would panic Ty into nausea, and Julian wouldn't be able to come back from Idris to help. His chest ached. He'd spent his entire life trying to hide Ty's differences from those who could potentially hurt him with small-minded judgement. But Alec had helped his sister accept herself, and Magnus was basically a mentor for every Shadowhunter who'd ever lived. He turned decidedly.

"Sorry, I'll get going in a second, but I just need to talk to you about Ty before I go."

"Sure, what's up?" Alec asked, bending down to pick up Max's toy octopus and hand it to him.

"It's just that Ty…Ty is autistic," Julian said, slowly. "I wanted to let you know. He might want to wear his headphones or fidget or…I know New York is pretty busy and he gets stressed in crowds. I really want to give him the freedom to do this, but I need to know you'll look after him," Julian explained anxiously. "If there are any problems, call Emma."

"Don't worry. We'll take good care of him," Magnus promised. "We understand, Jules."

"Thank you. And thanks for doing this, guys. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention anything about the whole Ty thing to…anyone," Julian laughed nervously. He raised his voice to call out to Ty. "Ty, I'm heading off now. Call Emma or Livvy if you need anything. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye!" Ty called back, and Jules grinned, thanking Magnus and Alec one last time before disappearing back through the portal to go to the meeting in Idris. Ty appeared from the back room not long after.

"You don't have it," he said, shrugging his backpack off. "The book, I mean."

"I didn't think so," Magnus said. "But I do know some little shops in Manhattan run by local warlocks who I think might though."

"I'll show you my notes. Would that help?" Ty asked, pulling out his papers.

"I think that would certainly help." Magnus nodded. He looked at Alec. "See? Why didn't you and your friends ever bring me this much information? Do you know how helpful that would have been?"

Alec shrugged, putting Max into a high chair at the kitchen table. They both sat down, Rafael on Magnus's lap, and Ty joined them, spreading his notes out in front of him. He had photocopied pages of the books he'd cited in his notes, the relevant parts of everything highlighted in acid green.

"By the Angel," Alec said, in shocked amusement. "You're very thorough."

"Thank you," Ty said, looking through papers. He was writing up the highlighted passages onto one page, consolidating the relevant information.

"My sister Isabelle and her boyfriend Simon are coming up to look after these two," Alec said, putting his hand out toward his youngest son, who wrapped his whole blue hand around one of his dad's long pale fingers.

"Why is he blue?" Ty asked, laying his head on the table.

"He's a warlock," Magnus told him, bouncing Rafael on his knee.

"I know, I mean why is _that_ his warlock's mark? How is it determined?"

"Oh, um…I'm not sure," Magnus admitted. "It has something to do with the demon parent, because warlocks with the same demon parent can have the same mark."

"Does that mean Max and your friend Catarina Loss are children of the same demon, because they both have blue skin?" Ty asked curiously, not looking up from his writing.

Magnus and Alec exchanged a look. Neither of them had considered it, and Alec wasn't sure he wanted to. Magnus couldn't help but think the same. "Um, I'm not sure, Tiberius," Magnus answered.

"Tell us about the case, then," Alec said, leaning over to read Ty's notes. "This looks complicated."

"Not really," Ty shrugged. "It's easy to put it all together using the method of loci."

"What's that?" Alec asked.

"It's a way of remembering things by imagining yourself retrieving the facts from a physical space," he said, and sat back, having finished his notes.

"Where were you when the whole Shadow World was looking for the mortal mirror?" Alec laughed.

"I was nine," Ty answered. "I didn't know I wanted to be a detective then."

"We need more detective Shadowhunters," Alec mused. "It would make a lot of missions a lot easier to have someone to outsource the technical stuff to."

"I'll help if you like," Ty offered. "I was going to go to the Scholomance but they didn't accept my application."

"Well, you can always reapply; you're still young," Magnus reasoned.

"Kit yelled at them for being mean to me, so I'm not sure they'd even let me through the door," Ty explained, smiling. Magnus and Alec exchanged a look so quick Ty didn't even see it. Before they could ask anything more, a knock came on the door.

"Hello!" a girl's voice called and a girl and boy came in. Simon and Isabelle. Max gave an excited screech and Simon lifted him out of his high chair, cuddling him close.

"How are you, baby Avatar?" Simon asked, untangling Max's hair from his budding horns. "Are your daddies still not letting you watch Star Wars?"

"Don't put them through that. It's _so_ long," Isabelle moaned.

"That's because we watched the director's cut," Simon corrected.

"Whatever," Isabelle replied, rolling her eyes. She looked to Ty and smiled as she bent down to pull Rafael into a tight hug. "Tiberius, right?"

"Oh, yeah, we met at your sister's wedding," Simon added.

Ty nodded, repacking his backpack. "I remember. You were there when I told Helen how I'd planned for the event like it was a crime scene."

"What?" Isabelle asked, looking puzzled.

"Ty wants to be a detective," Alec explained, and glanced at his watch. "Speaking of, we have some investigating to do."

After a flurry of goodbyes, and Magnus and Alec kissing their children before they went, Magnus led Ty down the stairwell and out onto the New York streets.

It was almost one fluid movement; as they stepped onto the street, Ty winced. His hands flew up to his face like he was bracing for an attack – but the only attack that was oncoming was a sensory one. As they got closer to the centre of the city, and the sun started reflecting off the windows of the skyscrapers, Ty put a hand out to block out the light.

"Come on," Alec said, veering off. "Let's take the back alleys. It's quieter there, and not as bright. The sun is really strong today," he added kindly.

"Great idea," Magnus agreed. "This first place is only a couple of blocks from here."

When they eventually came to the shop, it was small and smelled of brass and old wood. All around the walls were framed drawings of different Fey species and Ty was looking around the tapestries and art as if they were the most precious things he'd ever seen. He was pointing to all the different types, careful not to touch anything. Alec looked over at the sound of Ty whispering quietly to himself and bent down to see what he was looking it.

"Nixie, pixie, hobgoblin, mermaid, unicorn, brownie, kelpie," he was mumbling, pointing to each one in turn. He turned when he sensed Alec behind him and flushed. "Sorry."

"No, sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. I was just listening to you," Alec said. "You know lots about faeries."

"I know lots about Downworlders in general," Ty told him. "You probably know lots about warlocks, because you are Magnus's boyfriend. My brother and sister Mark and Helen are half-faeries, so I wanted to know everything I could so when I'm older I can make the Clave understand too. Then they might lift my sister's exile. The Clave are too harsh to people who are different," Ty said sadly, and Magnus and Alec exchanged a look. It sounded like he was speaking from personal experience. They suspected he was. "If no one ever does anything about injustice, nothing changes. It's like what you did for Helen and Aline. They can get married because you kissed in the Accords Hall." Alec blushed. "Julian tells us that story _a lot_."

Magnus waved this off modestly. "You ought to intern for us with the Shadowhunter-Downworlder alliance," he added from across the room, where he was turning an ancient vase over in his hands. He put it back on the shelf and leaned against the wall. "It would be good to have a Shadowhunter who knows about Fey, especially one younger than the rest of us. You grew up in a pretty influential time in Shadowhunter history, have lived through the big political changes. No one knows the effects of those better than your generation."

"I only lived through so many changes because you and your friends initiated so many of them," Ty pointed out.

"Plus, it's useful to have someone like you who can do the same amount of research in one day it would take the rest of us together a week," Magnus finished.

Ty's grey eyes were wide and round. "Are you serious? You'd let me intern for you?"

"Sure. Ask Jules and we'll talk to him about it," Alec promised. Ty shook out his hands happily, hesitating for a moment. Sometimes, Livvy had told him, people who didn't know Ty might not understand what his hands moving meant, so it was better to find another way of expressing his happiness or anxiety. But Magnus and Alec didn't seem to mind, or even particularly notice, so Ty didn't think they would mind if he kept doing it.

"Do I hear Magnus Bane?" a voice said from nearby. The three of them turned to see a man leaning against the counter. Behind him was a curtain, separating the shop floor from what Ty imagined was the stock room. The man was tall, though he didn't look it by the way he was leant against the counter, resting on his elbows. When Magnus saw him, he went over to shake the man's hand.

"Marvin, how have you been?"

Marvin shrugged. "There's not a huge call for magical flavours when you're in town, but you settling down with a family has certainly helped business."

Magnus grinned. "Well, I'm glad to be of service."

"Last I heard, you had a husband and a couple of kids," Marvin replied, taking off the leather jacket he wore and laying it across the counter. Beneath it, he wore a light t-shirt that let Ty see the tattoos across his arms. It wasn't all that common for denizens of the Shadow World to have tattoos – he could only think of Diana's that he'd seen – and Ty went over to look at them, curious. "Is this them?" Marvin asked, glancing at Ty and Alec.

"Boyfriend, not husband," Alec corrected. "And no, this is Ty. He's from the L.A. Institute. He's on a mission; we're just his back-up. Our sons are at home."

"Ah," Marvin nodded. "I understand. You know, normally I don't let Shadowhunters in here…"

"But…?" Magnus prompted, and Marvin gave a begrudgingly small smile.

"But I like your alliance thing, and I don't think you're here to bust me."

"We aren't. We're here for a book," Ty told him, pulling his notes out. "This is it," he added, pointing to a sheet of paper with a line of writing on. It read, in neat cursive, ' _Konjaku Hyakki Shūi'_.

"That's a little bit niche, isn't it?" Marvin commented. "It's not exactly light reading."

"Good. I don't need it for light reading," Ty replied. "I need it to solve an important case."

Marvin huffed a laugh, looking like the act of showing amusement cost him something. As he disappeared behind the curtain to locate the book, Ty saw that Marvin – though perfectly normal-looking from the waist up – had, instead of legs, green tentacles with pink suckers. They didn't make much noise, but enough that Ty knew he would have noticed it if he hadn't been distracted earlier. He glanced briefly at the tentacles but, after deciding they weren't like any Mundie creature he'd heard of in their colouring, sat back, not particularly interested.

"You know, in history, warlocks faced worse discrimination the more obvious their marks were," Magnus told Ty, who looked horrified. "Things do change. Your sister won't always be exiled."

"Sometimes, I hate the Clave," Ty said, voice quiet but vicious. Magnus laughed as Alec shushed the boy hastily.

"Ty, Ty, be careful. We all kind of think that, but it can be dangerous to say stuff like that. The walls have ears."

"No they don't," Ty replied, puzzled. He wished Livvy was here to translate. "And besides, if everyone thinks it, who cares if someone says it?"

"He's got you there," Magnus cackled. Alec stifled a laugh.

"I think a lot of Shadowhunters think that at one point or another," Alec admitted. "The Cohort thinks the Law is too lax, and people like us think it's too strict."

Magnus mumbled something under his breath about what he thought of the Cohort, and Alec urged him to be quiet, chuckling. It wasn't long after that Marvin reappeared, book in hand. Ty beamed.

"A book like this can fetch a pretty good profit," Marvin told him. "It's quite expensive."

"Then perhaps I could just borrow it?" Ty asked earnestly. "Like a library?"

Marvin cracked a small smile that held a hint of fondness. "How about a trade? I'll give you this book in exchange for a promise."

"What kind of promise?" Ty asked. He was cautious but unsuspicious.

"When I was looking for this book," he said, laying it down on the counter. "I heard you all talking. I heard you tell those two you want to make the Clave understand Downworlders, people who are different. The Cold Peace does not bode well for the Downworld. I don't usually have a lot of faith in Shadowhunters, but I have a good feeling about you, and so I'm asking you a favour. Do you promise you'll stand up for what's right when the time comes?"

Ty nodded, and Marvin slid the book along the counter to Ty, who slipped it gratefully and carefully into his backpack.

"I'm going to be a detective," Ty told him seriously. "And that's all about finding out the truth. I don't always think the Clave are telling the truth, but then who does? Everyone is just pretending to be like everyone else. It's harder for Downworlders; you can't always hide it because you have warlock marks or vampire fangs. Some people can hide the fact they're different. But pretending to be the same as everyone else will always make you miserable. I promise, when I'm older, I'll make the Clave give up on the idea that only the people who have angel-blood and fit into their mold of perfect are people at all."

Marvin smiled a quick, genuine smile and disappeared back behind the curtain and into the back of the shop.

"Let's get you home," Alec said, as Marvin went out of view. "I'm sure your family will want to see the book."

"You'll ask Julian if I can intern for you?" Ty asked. Magnus nodded.

"Absolutely. We'll talk to him tonight."

Ty smiled, securing his backpack on his shoulders, impatient to get home and show Julian the book. They could finally tell the Clave what the demon was. And, most importantly, it might put Kit's mind at rest.


	10. Chapter 10

Ty burst through the portal and sprinted to the library, where everyone was gathered. Everyone except Julian, who was still in Idris. Ty tried not to feel disappointed. He just wanted to make his brother proud. Julian said he was always proud, but Ty was still excited to show Jules what he'd done. He knew that being a good Shadowhunter was hugely important to his brother, and Ty felt like he could finally how good a Nephilim he could be when given a task at which he could excel. Regardless, as he ran in, everyone looked up.

"What happened?" Emma asked, looking at Ty's empty hands in thinly veiled disappointment. He took his backpack off and pulled the book out carefully, laying it on the table. Livvy squealed and threw herself at him, hugging him hard against her.

"I knew it! I knew you'd get it!" she beamed, arms tight around him. He didn't like unnecessary commotion, but he did like finally feeling like a proper Shadowhunter.

"It's this one," Ty told them, flipping through the pages until he landed on the one he was looking for, pointing. "An Enenra," he read. "A demon composed of smoke or darkness. It lurks in shadows and assumes a human shape when in its natural habitat: in the flames of bonfires. It can be seen only by the pure of heart in this form."

"I've got no chance then," Kit laughed. He was looking at Ty like he was something ethereal. Livvy glanced across quickly, smiling, and met his eye before looking back to Emma.

"Do you know what this means?" Emma asked. "You're fifteen, and you just discovered a new demon. This will be in the next encyclopaedia daemonica, Ty. I can't even remember when they last found a new demon."

"1953!" Tavvy said proudly. "I've been studying!"

"We have to let the Clave now," Dru put in.

"We ought to find more out about it," Mark added. "Collect tracks, document sightings, and the like."

"I want to go and read now," Ty said, emptying his holes onto the table and disappearing down the hall.

"I'll go after him," Kit offered. "It might be good for him to have someone who doesn't really get the big deal about all this. I'm sure it's great and whatever, but I'm not sure why."

Livvy nodded. "New demons are especially big news and Ty doesn't like the amount of fuss it warrants, particularly when he's the centre of that fuss."

By the time Kit found Ty, he was sat on the staircase, a book in hand. Sherlock Holmes, predictably, Kit thought with a grin.

"Can I ask you a riddle?" Kit asked and Ty lowered his book, eyebrows knitted.

"I don't like riddles," he said. "They don't make sense."

"You'll like this one. It's about a murder. I wanna see if you can solve it," Kit told him. Ty looked a little suspicious but nodded. "Okay," Kit said. "A person lies dead in a field. There is nothing around them except the unopened package beside him. There are no footprints around him. What's in the package and how did he die?"

Ty considered this and laid back, his head on a stair a few up from the one on which he sat. "A parachute," Ty answered after a while. "They jumped from a plane and it didn't open."

Kit nodded. "Exactly right. Wanna do another?"

"Why are you doing this?" Ty asked, sitting up.

"Because I thought you'd find it fun. Plus, you need distracting and I don't wanna talk about this demon. It still freaks me out. I'll tell you I'm happy for you and proud of you and all that stuff later, when everyone else has stopped being all crazy about it."

Ty stood up and took Kit's hand, leading him up to his room. Kit lay out on the bed and Ty slumped across him, his head resting on Kit's stomach, who was thinking of another riddle.

"Okay, here's one;" he said after a moment. "A woman and a man walk into a bar, and both order iced teas, both of which have been poisoned. The man drinks four in the time it takes the woman to drink one. She dies, and he doesn't. Why?"

"And all the iced tea he orders is the same? It's all been poisoned."

"Yup."

"The poison is in the ice," Ty answered after a minute or so.

"And so…?"

"And so there wasn't much time for the man's ice to melt and release the poison into the drink."

"Right again, Holmes," Kit said, and Ty laughed. "Anyway, how was hanging out with Magnus and Alec? They seem cool from what I've heard."

"It was good," Ty told him. "They have two kids and one of them is blue."

"Blue?" Kit asked, confused.

"Because it's a warlock. Not because he has, like, cyanosis." Kit gave an inelegant snort and Ty felt it as Kit's stomach moved beneath his head. "They've asked me to intern for them," Ty told him. "They want me to do research for the Shadowhunter-Downworlder alliance."

"And do you want to?"

"Yes," Ty told him tightly. "I really, really do. I never thought I'd get another opportunity to pursue a research career after the scholomance wouldn't let me join them. I thought I'd have to be a fighter. But this is even better than the scholomance because Magnus and Alec are nicer than the centurions, and I get to work with the downworlders, so it isn't just like a strange Nephilim bubble."

"So what does this alliance do?"

"It pushes for Clave equality and for Downworlder rights."

"That sounds like a pretty good fit for you," Kit told him.

"You know, the person I got that book from gave it to me for free in exchange for the promise that I would fight for equality in the council. I really care about this," Ty said, breathless with excitement. "You know the Clave is unfair. I know it sounds naïve, but so much has changed since I was, like, seven – for good and bad. If half of that positive change has happened by the time I'm twenty five, the Clave could be completely different. Everything could be so different."

"You're amazing," Kit said absently. Ty talked about the things he cared about with more unadulterated passion than Kit thought he'd felt about anything in his whole life. Ty found Kit's hand and squeezed it.

"I've wanted to be at the scholomance so badly for so long that I never even considered I could have anything else in my future. This alliance thing didn't even exist when I was ten."

"Sometimes failing is good; I told you that when the centurions said no," Kit reminded him.

"I didn't believe you," Ty told him, and Kit smiled. "I can hear your stomach," he added.

Kit blushed, laughing in slight embarrassment. "Sorry. I'm hungry."

Ty glanced at his phone. "Lunch is going to be late too because Julian is in Idris and Emma and Mark always forget that lunch is at one. Now we'll have to push dinner back and everything will be off schedule," he sighed.

"It's fine. _We_ can keep on schedule at least. Come on, we can make something. Picnic and library?" Kit suggested.

"Is this a date?" Ty asked and felt Kit's stomach tense under him. He sat up quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Yeah," Kit nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"Okay," Ty said quietly. "I'll go and tell Emma we're heading out. Will you get some food for us?"

"Sure, I'll meet you by the door in ten," Kit agreed. Ty grabbed his backpack up off the floor and disappeared. Kit laid there on Ty's bed for a moment, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing agreeing to go on a date with Ty Blackthorn, before getting up to find food they could smuggle out of the pantry.

"Want to go and swim?" Kit asked.

Ty was sat with a book under a frighteningly large beach umbrella, picking at strawberries from punnet beside him, nestled into a small dip in the sand. He looked up, nose wrinkled in distaste, and shook his head.

"What, you don't like swimming?" Kit asked, standing up.

"I don't like swimming in the sea," Ty corrected. "Your feet get all wet and the sand sticks to you and gets between your toes and," he shuddered. "It makes my skin crawl."

"Okay, I'm gonna go and look for crabs to bring you then," Kit said, pulling his shirt over his head and balling it up to toss to Ty, who caught it in one hand without looking up from his book. He only glanced up as Kit made a startled noise. "Oh, God. It's so cold."

"Tell me again how great swimming in the ocean is," Ty said, and Kit flipped him off, dunking his head under the water. When he emerged, he was grinning, blonde hair dark and stuck to his head.

"That's better," Kit laughed. "I'm acclimatised."

"I'm waiting for my crab!" Ty called back, and turned over onto his stomach to read.

It was twenty minutes before Kit emerged again, a small crab tentatively in one hand. "It's going to pinch me," Kit said, sounding panicky. "It's giving me the death stare."

"It's a crab, Kit," Ty laughed, and held his hand out. Kit placed it in his palm, happy to get its pincers away from his own fingers. He shook his hair out like a dog and went to sit down before Ty put his hand up in warning. "If you bring sand - wet sand - onto my towel, I will kill you," he threatened, handing Kit his shirt back.

Kit sighed and batted away the rest of the sand that clung to him with his shirt. When he felt sufficiently de-sanded, he threw himself down beside Ty, who was reapplying sunscreen.

"You're under this thing," Kit pointed out, nodding to the umbrella. "You couldn't burn if you tried."

"Ugh, I hate the feeling of sunscreen, and the smell of it," Ty said, and Kit stuck his arm out, eyes closed.

"There. Rub the excess off on my hand so it's not on your fingers," he offered, and Ty did so, hands cool on Kit's warm skin. "Wait, wait, that's nice," Kit sighed. "Your hands are nice and cold." Ty placed them on Kit's cheeks, laughing. "Perfect. Just stay there for, like, ever." Kit said, eyes closed.

"No!" Ty protested, giggling. "I'm reading."

"Read to me," Kit said, rolling onto his stomach. "You haven't done that in ages."

"Okay, um…I'll read you The Adventures of the Musgrave Ritual."

"Ominous. I'm intrigued," Kit said, resting his head on his arms. He shuffled, trying to get comfortable, then sat up with a defeated sigh.

"'An anomaly which often struck me in the character of my friend Sherlock Holmes…'" Ty began. Kit laid back, laying his head on Ty's chest, burrowing his feet in the warm sand. As Ty read, Kit listened to the steady heartbeat that thumped beneath Ty's ribcage. It quickened as Kit laid down, making a satisfied sound of relaxation, and Kit could feel it thrumming like it was trying to escape. It slowed again when he started reading, like a cat resettling itself after a fright. Ty's voice mixed with the hypnotic drumming of his heart and the warm of the sun on his face lulled Kit into a state of calm akin to sleep as he listened to the mystery unfold. It was close to four when Ty closed his book softly, the movement of the pages blowing Kit's hair a little, lifted strands of gold on the light breeze.

"We should probably head back," Kit said unenthusiastically.

"I don't really want to," Ty admitted.

"Me either."

As Kit sat up, and cast a look back at Ty, he saw a flicker of something glimmering in Ty's grey eyes. It made Kit think of the sun poking its way between clouds. He froze. His eyes caught on Ty's lips, flattened in a frustrated line, Cupid's bow pronounced and sharp. He breathed in and met Ty's eye, realising suddenly how close their faces were. Ty's eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet quickly.

"But we do need to get back," Ty agreed, flustered. He was shoving towels and food packets into bags, avoiding Kit's eyes firmly.

"Ty, I'm…" Kit began, embarrassed. He really had almost kissed Tiberius Blackthorn, and it was simultaneously devastating, mortifying, and expected that he'd rejected it.

"It's…we need to get back," Ty repeated, and zipped his bag up. "Julian will be back and I need to tell him about the demon and the book."

"Yeah, sure. Of course." Kit nodded, trying hard to keep the gamut of emotions he felt show on his face. "Sure, let's go."

Julian hugged Ty tight when his little brother walked into the lounge, Ty beaming up at him.

"You are brilliant," Julian told him, ruffling his dark hair fondly. "Absolutely brilliant. I'm so proud of you."

Ty shrugged. "What for?"

"For going to New York on your own," Julian told him, stroking the hair off his face. "For solving this puzzle. For locating this elusive booth. For finding a brand new demon. I'm immensely proud of you, Tiberius." Ty leaned into his hand happily, and Julian ruffled his hair again. "So, demon expert," Julian said, sitting down on the sofa. "What next?"

"We try and lure it out again and take notes," Ty said. "It's most often found in the light of bonfires."

"Beach bonfire party?" Dru asked. "With ghost stories around the campfire in the dark?"

"Nooo!" Tavvy protested, covering his ears. Mark patted his little brother's head, amused.

"No scary stories. Though I do have a marvellous one about a boy who drank faerie wine and…" He glanced at Julian. "It matters not. And I wouldn't know how accurate it was, for it was not based upon me," he added quickly. Emma laughed.

"I think a bonfire is in order," Julian nodded. "We'll have a barbecue because I can't be bothered cooking properly. That Clave meeting was agonising. Why are they so long and boring?"

"Are you meant to be inspiring us to be active Shadowhunters who, like, want to go to meetings?" Livvy pointed out, long legs hung over the arm of the chair she sat on. Julian shrugged.

"It'll get cold, so wrap up. Bring all the notes we have on the demon, and weapons. Steles, gear; this is a mission as much as it is a party."

"Aye aye, Captain Boring," Emma said, saluting, and Julian stuck his tongue out at her. Livvy rolled her eyes.

"Adults," she said to her twin, standing up and going over to her twin. She beckoned him. "Come get ready with me. I wanna chat about New York."

When her bedroom door closed, she sat down on the floor, resting her back against the bed side, hugging her pillow to her chest. "So, how was the beach?" she asked.

He sat down beside her, sighing, legs stretched out in front of him.

"I'm so tired. I don't want to go to this bonfire tonight. Today has been too busy. I just want to sit in bed and read my book."

"Don't dodge the question," Livvy smirked. "How was it?"

"Livvy…how do you kiss someone?"

She sat back, mouth opening in shock. She closed it quickly, and tried not to gawk. He glanced across at her and she composed herself quickly, but her mind was racing. Ty, her Tiberius, was in a real relationship. And he was thinking about kissing someone. Thinking about it seriously enough to ask her about it. She felt a surge of protectiveness, a barely suppressible urge to pin Kit to a wall and make him take a blood oath that he wouldn't hurt her twin. There had been a time – a significantly long time – when none of them had thought Ty would ever have a friend, let alone a partner. She'd always thought he'd been far more okay with that than the rest of them had. He'd never craved that kind of companionship, was happy enough with the friendship of family. There was a worrying amount of responsibility that came with being Ty's confidant. This was one of the moments that she felt that responsibility very pointedly.

"I…I guess you just…know," Livvy answered. "It's instinctive."

"People say that about everything and it never is," Ty complained. "Body language, facial expressions; everything is supposedly instinctive and it isn't."

Livvy thought about this, nodding. "That's true. Okay, well maybe he will want to kiss you. And if you want to kiss him then…then you'll know that you both want it. He might hold eye contact with you or touch your hand like this," she said, putting her hand on Ty's. When he glanced down, she ran her finger up his arm and flicked his chin. He batted her away.

"He won't do that," Ty protested, and Livvy laughed.

"No, he probably won't," Livvy laughed.

"Keep telling me," Ty prompted, closing his eyes. "What else?"

"Well, you might be on your own with him, and he might say something nice to you," she went on. "Maybe you just really want to. When you want to, and so does he, that's when you kiss him."

"How will I know if he wants to kiss me?" Ty asked, looking concerned. "Livvy, understanding whether someone is joking or not is sometimes difficult. How am I meant to know whether someone wants to _kiss_ me?"

"I…I can't explain. You just…will," Livvy told him, floundering. "I know that's hard to understand. But…when he looks the way you feel, that's when. If he looks at you the way you think you look at him, he probably wants to kiss you."

"I think he did want to," Ty admitted. "But I panicked and now I'm scared he won't want to anymore and I won't get another chance."

"Ty," Livvy sighed, rubbing his shoulder. "It's fine. There is no right time for your first kiss. It doesn't have to be in one particular moment or else never at all. There are an infinite number of moments like that."

"Not infinite," Ty pointed out.

"Almost infinite," Livvy amended.

"Is this weird?" Ty asked, opening his eyes. "Me asking you this stuff?"

Livvy laughed a little, nodding. "Yeah, but only because it's a little surprising. I'm glad you're even asking me, to be honest."

"Livvy! Ty!" Julian shouted from somewhere downstairs. "What will you eat at this bonfire?"

"I'm gonna go have a shower. Tell Jules I want a burger, Ty-Ty," Livvy said, grabbing up her towels. She paused at the door, turning. "Thank you for asking me about Kit."

"Thank you for helping," he replied, then added quickly, "You can't tell anyone."

"I won't," she promised, and headed off to the bathroom.

"Looking good, Kitty cat," Livvy grinned, hugging on Kit's scarf. He had a hoodie on under a puffy coat, as well as a hat, scarf, and gloves. Livvy had a big baggy cardigan pulled around her and some furry earmuffs hanging around her neck like her brother's headphones.

"Come on," Livvy said, beckoning him. "The others are already down at the beach. I said I'd wait for you. Apparently," she concluded, knocking his hat off. "I was waiting for you to layer up like you were headed to the artic."

He picked up his hat and snatched her earmuffs, sprinting off down the hill toward the beach. She gave a squeal and started after him, her cardigan flying behind her in the wind like a banner. She caught up to him easily and whirled, grabbing her earmuffs and knocking him to the sand in one fell swoop. He yelped and she put a foot on his chest, pinning him there.

"I love you, Kit, but don't you dare hurt my brother," she hissed.

"You know about…"

"I know everything," Livvy said, and raised her eyebrows, smiling. "I'm kidding. Get up."

He pushed her foot off his chest and stood up. "Everything?" Kit asked.

"For all intents and purposes, yes," Livvy said and took his hand. "Come on. Say nothing of this discussion. Deal?"

"Sure," Kit said. "Please don't stand on me again."

"You are honoured to have had this _gorgeous_ boot touch that ugly, ugly coat," Livvy replied. "Come on, Kitty cat. There are marshmallows to toast."

"I hate that nickname," Kit pointed out.

"Too bad. It's how I show my affection," she replied, calling behind her as he followed her down toward the huddle of Blackthorns that were collecting driftwood to burn.

All the Blackthorns were helping to build up a bonfire when Kit reached them, Livvy just beginning to help Tavvy carry driftwood toward the pile. He had a long stick and was using it to surreptitiously prod Mark and then giggle when he turned around to look for who it was. Mark rolled his eyes at Kit, a look that said 'Having siblings is a chore", before he went back to helping Julian lattice the wood to make the frame of the fire. Mark was dictating what they were doing, being the only one who really knew how to do anything remotely outdoorsy since he'd lived in Faerie. The rest of them were following his instructions in the bumbling way of city kids who had never really thought about how to make a fire. Kit had never even been a Boy Scout. He glanced around and laughed at how well-bundled up Tavvy was, looking like a snowman in a thick, quilted winter coat. Autumn was creeping upon L.A. now, splashing the green leaves with ochre and orange. Tavvy was having a hard time even bending down to grab up the beach wood because of his dense coat. Kit grinned, and looked around for Ty. His heart almost stopped when he saw him, suddenly self-conscious.

Ty was talking to Emma, the wind ruffling the strands of his hair that escaped from under his beanie hat, his charcoal topcoat collar turned up against the breeze. A tartan scarf wrapped around his neck, a big woollen sweater underneath his coat was visible, the sleeves pulled down over his hands. Again, the same two words struck Kit that had since the very first time he'd seen Ty; "How beautiful." And, Kit thought, he did look _really_ good in that coat. Ty turned and caught his eye, blushed, and made his excuses to Emma. He walked over to Kit and smiled shyly.

"Will you come with me to find rocks to use as paperweights?" he asked, nodding to the bundle of papers in his hand. He shrugged off his backpack and put them in. "I don't want them to blow away when we're reading them if this demon shows."

Kit nodded and followed Ty as he led the way through dunes and down near the rocky coves.

"Um, about earlier…" Kit began, somewhat awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," Ty finished. "I didn't mean to panic."

"I didn't mean to panic you," Kit replied.

"I would like to," Ty said quietly, and Kit glanced up.

"Would like to?"

"Kiss you," Ty said shyly. "Please."

"I…would like that too," Kit replied.

Ty's hands were shaking as he stepped forward and laid them on Kit's shoulders, shaking enough that Kit could feel it. He didn't move, letting Ty move as slowly and carefully as he wished.

"It's okay," Kit whispered. "Take your time."

Ty nodded and linked his arms around Kit's neck, resting his forearms against Kit's shoulders. He scanned Kit's face quickly, as if committing it to memory, then closed his eyes and leaned in. Kit wondered briefly whether he ought to lean in to meet Ty, but decided instead to stay still. It was agony, being so still when all he wanted to do was reach out and pull Ty toward him, take off his beanie so he could run his fingers through the black locks underneath. But nevertheless, he resisted, and stayed perfectly still. When Ty felt his mouth connect with Kit's, he tightened his grip on the collar of Kit's coat, pulling back fast at the unfamiliar sensation of lips on lips.

"It's okay," Kit said again, feeling breathless. He laid a hand on the small of Ty's back. The pressure seemed to radiate through Ty's body, every nerve ending alive with the touch of Kit's hand on his back. He pulled Kit toward him, hands steadying, and kissed him with a sure ease that made Kit start in surprise before he relaxed into the kiss. It was short, and awkward, and – Kit personally believed – kind of brilliant. Sure, the first attempt there had been a bit of a failure, but the second felt like a victory. Kit was blinking like he'd just stepped out of the dark and into the sun. Ty's whole face, to the tips of his ears and down his neck, was flushed pink.

"Was that okay?" Ty whispered worriedly. Kit nodded, laughing breathlessly.

"Yes," he said, smiling. Ty marvelled. It was a proper smile, a rarity from Kit as he knew it was from himself. His white teeth were bright in his tanned face, and Ty felt his blush deepen. "Yes, that was okay, Tibs."

"Can we do it again?" he asked hopefully.

"Your family will think we've gotten lost," Kit told him, taking Ty's hand in his. He stroked a thumb along the back of Ty's hand, the skin there prickling with the sensation.

"We should go," Ty nodded, keeping his hand in Kit's until they were almost in view of his family. Dropping his hand felt like dropping a lifeline and a live wire all at once; a pain, but a pleasant, relieving pain. Livvy beckoned Ty over toward her quickly, holding four weighty rocks. She handed two to her twin, and kept the other two to herself. He looked at the rocks, then back at her, puzzled.

"You went to get rocks. I had a sneaking suspicion you might forget them, which," she added, glancing at his red face. "I have a feeling was the correct suspicion. I thought I'd save you an explanation to the others."

"Thank you," Ty smiled. Kit had gone to help Julian and Mark with the fire. Ty himself felt like he couldn't do anything nearly that useful right now. He felt dizzy and giddy and like he wanted to laugh and whoop and also lay down in the sand just to breathe, and he wanted to do all of these things at once. His heart was drumming so hard he was sure Livvy could hear it. He imagined that this was how it felt to solve a mystery. He felt a little like he had solved a mystery, he just wasn't sure quite what that was.

"Someone is happy," Livvy said fondly, handing him a few pieces of driftwood as they reached the small section of beach the Blackthorns had claimed as their own for the night. The bonfire looked about done, but he took the wood from her without protest. He nodded firmly, looking down at his hand. Kit had held his hand _again_ , Ty thought excitedly. "Good," Livvy smiled. "That's good."

"Very good," Ty agreed, and turned to go help Emma light the barbecue. Livvy glanced at Kit, who met her eye uneasily. She winked and he grinned back at her, an amused half-smile. She gave him a small nod and an approving thumbs-up before following her twin.

Livvy was engaged in a half-conversation with Jules and Emma – by which she meant that Julian and Emma were talking and occasionally asking Livvy a question so she wasn't left out. She didn't really mind; it was often that way with the two of them. It was a Parabatai thing, she assumed. It was like when they talked everyone else in the vicinity fell away into nothingness. She sometimes felt that way when she talked to Ty – and, in a new and startling development, Kit. On an increasingly regular basis, she was imagining herself as Kit's Parabatai, but that was somewhat secondary in this moment. All of them were leaning close to the bonfire, Mark occasionally hauling Tavvy back so he didn't get burnt. The demon was showing no signs of appearing, regardless of how hard they searched the shadows for it. Suddenly, the flames surged and Livvy screamed. Everyone turned to look at her; Ty was already on his feet. Tavvy shrieked, and Dru. The others were looking around, confused and frightened what the yelling was about. Livvy was trying to scramble back, slamming into Ty, who knelt down and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"What's happening? What's wrong?" Julian asked, going to comfort Dru. Tavvy had his face buried in the front of Mark's jacket, and Emma and Kit were exchanging panicked looks.

"The demon! There!" Dru cried, pointing at the fire. Ty looked up, understanding.

"The demon! It's here! Only the pure of heart can see it," he exclaimed. "Kit's get my notes. Emma, start writing down observations." He leaned closer to Livvy, who looked pale. "You have to describe it to me, Livvy. Please."

"It…Ty. I…I don't want to," she said, shaking and breathless. "I…I can't, Ty."

"It can't survive light when it's in shadow, Livvy. Wait there," Kit said, shoving Ty's notes into Emma's hands and grabbing up one of the bowls they'd brought fruit down in. He returned less than two minutes later, the bowl full of seawater. "If it tries to hurt you, Livvy, - any of you – we'll drown the fire and it'll have to come out of the flames. I have a torch on my phone. I'll drive it back. I promise."

Julian nodded, unlocking his own phone, one arm tight around Dru. "I'll do the same. Good thinking, Kit."

"Mark, take mine," Emma said, tossing her phone to Mark. "Give me yours. I'll make notes on it. It doesn't have a flashlight." Mark caught her phone deftly and threw his own cell phone in turn.

"Livvy, please," Ty begged, holding onto her tightly. "It's okay, I'll protect you. I promise."

"It's…it looks like dad," Livvy sobbed. "It looks like dad."

"What?" Julian asked, sounding sick. Emma put a hand on his shoulder from where she was making notes, stood behind him. She felt his muscles tighten under her hand.

"It looks like dad," Dru repeated, crying. Julian's hands tightened on her shoulder, kneading her soft skin. Emma wasn't sure which of them he was trying to comfort.

"Tavvy?" Mark asked.

"He won't remember," Emma said. "He's just scared because it was sudden and he recognises him from photos. He won't remember his dad much."

Ty had his arms around Livvy, who was shaking against him, sniffing back sobs. Julian looked pale, hands on Dru's shoulders, trying to comfort her.

"Kit!" Livvy screamed suddenly, and he threw the water, flipping his flashlight on. The agonising shriek as the demon disappeared that Kit remembered from last time rent the air like a siren. He cast a look at Ty, whose arms were tight around Livvy, bent forward, face pressed into her hair. Kit gave Emma his phone quickly, pressing it into her hands before she could protest, and bent down by Ty, placing his hands firmly over the boy's ears. He felt Ty stiffen in surprise and then relax against Livvy's back. The scream died down and Kit heaved a sigh of relief, sitting back. Emma was shaking Julian's shoulder gently, saying his name. He had Dru held tight against him, shielding her face. Mark had his whole body wrapped around Tavvy, hiding him so he wouldn't be as frightened. Livvy was sobbing, Ty half-laid across her back, his hands stroking at her comfortingly, whispering into her hair that it would be alright. Kit just felt shell-shocked. This kind of chaos was a family affair. And that was just it – he wasn't family. He started to back away when Emma caught at his wrist.

"We need you here, Kit," she said, sounding sincere and frightened and desperate, a mixture of things Kit couldn't imagine ever hearing from someone as unshakeable as Emma.

"What do you need me to do?" Kit asked.

"Take Tavvy. We need to get out of here. Take him back to the Institute. He's going to be having nightmares for a month," she sighed. "Julian will be up all night looking after them all."

"I'm on it," Kit said, and went over to Mark. He took Tavvy from his big brother's arms easily, Mark acquiescing mournfully. Instead, he went over to the twins and Kit hitched Tavvy onto his hip.

"Hey, little guy," Kit said softly. "Let's go home."

"I want Julian," Tavvy sniffled, trying to pull away from Kit. "I want Julian!"

"I know; he's coming. He's going to meet us at the Institute," Kit said and swung Ty onto his back. "Hang on tight."

Tavvy linked his arms around Kit's neck, resting his face against the puffy material of his coat. He was shivering, and Kit put him down, wrapping his own coat around the boy before picking him back up. "All good?" Kit asked, lifting Tavvy higher onto his back.

"Uh huh," Tavvy said, nodding against Kit's back.

When they got to the Institute, Kit sat down on the steps, only now realising he didn't have a key, Tavvy on his lap. Tavvy was crying in that way that seemed exclusive to children, crying in the way that made Kit think the boy's entire world was coming to an end. He willed Julian to arrive faster and comfort Tavvy. In the meantime, he pulled out his phone and handed it to Tavvy.

"Here. Play some games. I have Candy Crush," he said, and opened the app. Tavvy sniffed and leant back into Kit, who was trying not to shiver. The sun had completely disappeared from the sky, and Kit could certainly feel the cold night air blowing off the ocean. When he heard footsteps, he looked up to see the Blackthorns coming over the hill, not far away. Emma had one arm around Dru, and her other hand in Julian's. Livvy was holding Ty's arm tightly, Mark with a hand on her back. Tavvy scrambled up and ran over to Julian, who lifted him easily and rubbed his nose into Tavvy's curls affectionately.

Livvy started up to her room, Ty with her. Julian carried Tavvy up to bed, and Emma disappeared with Dru, leaving Mark and Kit alone in the entryway.

"Go to sleep, Kit," Mark said, with a tired smile. "Thank you for all your help."

However, when Kit headed upstairs, it was to Livvy's room. He knocked, and walked in when there was no answer. Livvy was laid in bed, crying, and Ty was fidgeting anxiously, looking panicked. Kit gave him a nod, beckoning him over. Ty gave Livvy one last pat on the shoulder before bolting down the hall. Kit sat down on Livvy's bed and stroked the duvet over her back softly.

"Kit?" she sniffed.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Ty's just gone to calm down. I think he's a little bit freaked."

"Kit, that demon…"

"I know," he said, interrupting her. "Don't. You don't have to explain. Just try and sleep."

She took a shuddering breath. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," he assured her. "Of course I will."

"Will you stay in here tonight? I don't want to be on my own," she whispered.

"Yes. I'll stay, Livs. Go to sleep," he said softly, stroking her hair. It seemed to have a similar effect on her as it did on her twin, and within two minutes she was asleep, exhausted from fear. And now, Kit thought, standing up quietly, to go and find Ty. It wasn't difficult to locate him; he was just outside the door, head tilted back against the wall.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and Kit touched a hand to his shoulder lightly. "It's…difficult. I don't know how to comfort her when I'm stressed myself."

"I can't imagine how difficult it is," Kit said quietly, sliding his back down the wall to sit beside Ty. He put an arm around him and Ty leaned in, resting his head on Kit's shoulder in defeat. "It must be hard. I sometimes forget that you have to learn it all. It's easy enough to know what to do in theory, but it's a whole other thing being forced to apply it when you're faced with a real, scary scenario. I bet it's hard to even remember all the stuff you've learnt in that kind of situation, isn't it?"

Ty nodded, sighing. "Is she okay?" he asked.

"You did most of the work," Kit admitted. "She was just about asleep when I went in."

"This is all my fault," Ty said, sounding anguished. He sounded, Kit realised in horror, like he might cry. Kit drew Ty closer to him, and felt Ty's chest move as he took a teary breath. "If I hadn't found out about that demon…"

"Dozens more mundanes could be dead," Kit finished. "Come with me. We'll go and sit with Livvy. It's okay. She's asleep. You don't need to worry. This – none of it – is your fault, Ty."

"Thank you," Ty said. The two of them went back to Livvy's room, and Kit settled Ty in a menagerie of blankets from the chest at the end of Livvy's bed. When he sat back down, he lifted Ty's head gently and laid it on his lap to protect it from the hard floor, stroking Ty's hair while he cried. Neither of them said anything – they didn't need to. Eventually, Ty's sniffs became sporadic and heavy, and Kit laid his head back against the wall, glad that he could finally sleep.

Livvy woke up the next morning to see Kit slumped against the wall with one of the blankets he'd got from the chest draped across his shoulders like a cape. Ty was sprawled out on the floor, his head in Kit's lap, his headphones having rolled from his open hand. Kit made a quiet mumbling noise, his eyes opening. He looked up at Livvy, who smiled as he glanced down at Ty, blushed, and met her smile with his own.

"You okay?" Kit mouthed. Livvy nodded.

"You?"

"My ass is totally numb from sleeping on the hardwood," he replied silently, and Livvy laughed like it had been startled out of her, trying to muffle it with her hand. Ty stirred, rolling over. Kit caught his head before he hit the floor, and Ty looked up confusedly, giving Kit a puzzled smile. Then his eyes widened and he got to his feet, rushing over to Livvy. She pulled the duvet back to let him lay down beside her, and he held her tightly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and she nodded.

"A little freaked, still, but I'm okay. Thank you for looking after me, Ty-Ty," she replied, relaxing into his arms. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

She stroked his hair back from his face, where it was tangled and sleep-messy. "You were great. I thought I was going to pass out on the beach. I would have if you hadn't been there."

"That's what twins do," he told her, and rolled over to look at Kit, to beckon him. "Come here."

"You're family," Livvy said in stern response to his reluctant look. "If you don't come and hug me, I'm disowning you."

Kit sighed, rolling his eyes, and climbed over the two of them to lie down on the other side of Livvy.

"Mmm, cosy," Livvy mumbled, pulling her duvet up to her chin. "So warm."

"I am not your personal heater, Livia Gertrude Blackthorn."

The twins laughed. "Gertrude?" they asked at the same time, then grinned in amusement at their synergy.

"Look, I don't know your middle name and I needed to add some emphasis," Kit complained.

"She doesn't have a middle name," Ty told him. "Livia Blackthorn is as much as you get."

"Oh, sorry, Tiberius Nero Blackthorn. I forgot not all of you had crazy elaborate names."

Ty looked over Livvy to glare at him. She ducked down under the duvet.

"I don't want to be in the middle of a staring contest!" she exclaimed, voice muffled by the bedcovers. It was almost drowned out altogether by a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?"

Kit sat up and perched himself on the edge of the bed as Jules opened the door. It wasn't so much he thought Julian would care that he'd been laid there with the twins, but more that Kit didn't want him thinking there was anything going on between him and either of his younger siblings. Besides, it felt like elbowing his way into a family that wasn't his. As it was, Julian gave him only the briefest glance before sitting down by Ty's feet to check Livvy over. Julian, Kit sensed, was a worrier, and he seemed to be looking for any visible traces of trauma from last night. He put a hand under her chin, stroking her face.

"All okay, Livs?"

She smiled and leaned into his hand. "All okay," she confirmed, and he nodded, sitting back. Julian sat up and turned to Tiberius.

"Ty, come with me and help me make breakfast, will you? Emma and Mark are looking after the others."

Ty wriggled out from under the duvet, touching a hand to Livvy's shoulder briefly in a show of affection that made her smile. He shut the door behind him when he left, only for Julian to return less than ten seconds later. He left the door ajar.

"I'm not…" He gave an awkward laugh. "I'll, uh, leave this open so I can hear if you call."

Livvy rolled her eyes in amusement. "Whatever."

He ducked back out and Livvy waited until her older brother was out of earshot before she flopped back with a sigh, making the mattress springs bounce under them both.

"Sorry," Livvy laughed in embarrassment. "You know what brothers are like."

"Only child," Kit reminded her. "So not really."

"I think he's scared you'll make a move on me." Livvy grinned. "I assume he's barking up the wrong tree. No danger from you, right?"

Kit felt his stomach tighten and turned to her. "I don't know."

"Whoa," Livvy said, eyes widening. "I'm sorry, Kit. I don't like you in that way and besides, Ty…"

"No, no, no," Kit clarified hurriedly. "Sorry, no. I'm not…I don't…" He sighed. "Can I be real for a second?"

"Go for it," Livvy said worriedly. She put a hand on his shoulder gently. She'd sat up and was kneeling a little behind him. She couldn't see his face, but she could feel the tension in his skin. "What's up?"

"I'm kind of stressing about this whole thing," he admitted uncomfortably.

"About Jules?" Livvy asked. "Oh, don't pay any attention to him. He's just overprotective."

"Not Jules; me," Kit said stiffly. "Livvy, I like Ty. I've never liked…a guy before. I'm straight, Livvy. I don't know what's wrong with me. Does this make me…" he trailed off.

"Gay?" Livvy prompted. "No. It doesn't make you gay. Who says you can't like both? Besides," she pointed out. "Like a third of my siblings are bisexual. It's not a big deal."

"What, you Shadowhunters don't have a word for autistic, but you're all well-educated on sexuality?"

"Well, it's a turn-up for the books when you consider what the Clave is like," Livvy countered. She shuffled over to sit beside him and put her head on his shoulder. "Don't stress out about it, Kit. I know it seems scary, but you'll figure it out." She rolled herself back down under the covers, shivering, and tugged Kit down with her. They laid side by side on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. "Don't you dare tell Ty I'm telling you this, but he is so ecstatic," she said eventually. "He's never really had a friend before, let alone a crush – let alone a crush who likes him back. Whoever you're into – boys or girls or both – it can't be wrong if it makes Ty so happy. You can't know what he was like before you arrived, but he is so different. He goes out to places; he goes to the beach and to the pier. I'm pretty sure Julian thinks you're a warlock who's put a spell on him." She laughed, and he pulled her to him and hugged her tightly, the duvet bunched around her making a cocoon of softness. "Kit…" she said nervously. He froze, drawing his arms back. If Livvy was nervous, something was seriously wrong. Livvy was a bottomless pit of calm, collected confidence. She did not get nervous. "Would you maybe want to be my para…"

"Yes!" he interrupted, throwing his arms back around her, tightening his embrace to a vice-like grip. "Are you sure? Me? Not Ty? Are you sure you're sure, Livvy?"

"I'm sure. I'm positive, Kit," Livvy promised, wriggling her arms out of her blanket to hug him back. "I'm really sure."

"What if things don't work out with me and Ty, and you start to hate me? Or what if I do something wrong and hurt him and then you totally despise me?" Kit asked worriedly.

"Don't hurt him and I won't hate you," Livvy laughed. "At least, don't hurt him intentionally."

"Oh my God," Kit said, holding onto her tightly. "Livvy, this is the most Shadowhunter-y thing I've ever done."

She giggled and sat up, pulling him with her. "I think chocolate chip pancakes are in order."

He nodded firmly. "Dear God, yes. I'm starving."

When they walked into the dining room, Livvy pulling Kit along by the hand, the others were already there. Julian glanced between them, at their joined hands, and back up to Livvy's face. The look on his face made Kit writhe with discomfort.

"We're going to become Parabatai," she announced, and her younger siblings cheered. Ty beamed, looking thrilled, and Mark was clapping. Emma smiled, but exchanged a look with Julian, who had the same smile on his own face. Kit wasn't sure Livvy had noticed how forced the expression looked in her ecstasy. She let go of Kit and went over to the cupboard, reaching down an unopened pack of chocolate chips and putting them down on the counter where Julian stood. "Celebratory chocolate chip pancakes?" she asked. He nodded, and Tavvy cheered louder. Kit couldn't help but smile. It was comforting that the youngest Blackthorn was apparently far more impressed by the prospect of chocolate than their decision to become Parabatai. Kit wasn't sure there was anything that was the mundane equivalent of Parabatai. Arguably, to the Nephilim, your Parabatai was more important than who you married. It was like best friends on steroids, super best friends. Kit decided not to describe it in either of those ways to any Nephilim for fear of exile.

Emma went over to help Julian – she was always better at flipping pancakes than he was – and he whispered something quickly in her ear. She gave a quick nod and handed Ty the first plate of pancakes. "No chocolate chips," she told him, and he nodded gratefully, reaching for the maple syrup.

Kit gave Ty's ankle a gentle kick to get his attention, and raised his eyebrows questioningly at Ty, who looked back blankly.

"Do you approve of me and Livvy?" he mouthed, and Ty giggled.

"It sounds like you're asking me if she can marry you," he said, but nodded. "I approve. I very much approve, yes."

Livvy smiled, resting her head on Ty's shoulder and reaching behind him to spear a mouthful of pancake while he was distracted. He batted her hand away when Dru laughed and he realised what was happening, and Kit joined in with them as they laughed. If he became Livvy's Parabatai, did that mean he got to be a part of their family?

After breakfast, Emma stood up and beckoned Livvy with her.

"Will you come and braid my hair?" she asked the younger girl. "I've missed having a plait since Cristina left. She always used to do it before training and I just can't get the hang of doing it myself."

"Sure, if I can borrow that cute shirt of yours with the little leaves on."

"That's fair," Emma agreed, and the two of them left.

Livvy adored Emma; she was like a big sister, and exactly who Livvy had needed after Helen had left. Helen had been the person Livvy hero-worshipped as a child, doing her hair like Helen's, dancing up and down the Institute in Helen's skirts, which were long enough to be dresses on her at that age. But it was Emma who picked up the role that had once been Helen's when Livvy was older, guiding her through periods and makeup and all the traumatic, confusing things that came with being a teenage girl that she couldn't talk to Julian about. Since she'd been little, she'd loved plaiting Emma's hair. It was long, and blonde, and felt like fine strands of silk in her hands. Weaving them together was something akin to therapy, mind-numbingly relaxing and culminating in a gorgeous end result. Cristina was a practical enough grown-up to make Emma's hairstyles pretty but functional, tight so they didn't unravel and neat enough not to distract her in battle. Like everything Cristina did, it was purposeful and beautiful in equal measure. Livvy, who was in her phase of caring more about her looks than she used to as a little girl, was more interested in weaving skinny braids into the main plait, wrapping the whole thing around itself into an elegant bun that may have been considerably less useful, but was no doubt nice to look at. In the same way mundane girls might pore over fashion magazines, Livvy had photos of Isabelle Lightwood tucked under the frame of her mirror. Emma, as a teenager, has been borderline obsessed with Jace Herondale, and Livvy had continued the tradition of fawning over the New York Shadowhunters. Isabelle was everything Livvy wanted to be; she was beautiful and badass and brave. She'd always stood by her brother, Alec, even when the Clave didn't agree with who he was, and was basically the most awesome Shadowhunter Livvy could think of. Besides, she'd ignited Livvy's penchant for velvet, a fabric which she'd thrifted ample specimens of in dresses and skirts but was slightly too warm for in L.A. most of the year.

"So, Parabatai…" Emma said, as Livvy brushed through her hair, the smoothing and untangling therapeutic to Livvy's heart, which was still racing with the excitement of the whole situation.

"I know, I'm so excited," Livvy said happily, bouncing a little in her joy. Emma laughed a little, jostled up and down by the other girl's excited fidgeting.

"I know it's kind of lame to talk about this, and you're going to tell me to shut up, but I need to talk to you about being Parabatai," Emma said.

"Oh, here we go," Livvy laughed jokingly.

"You're a smart girl, Livs. You know the rules of what it means to have a Parabatai," Emma went on. "I know Kit and Ty are friends and so if they fight, you can't stop being Parabatai, just like you can't stop being Ty's sister. Do you understand?"

"Of course. Kit is like family to me now," Livvy replied seriously.

"You haven't known him for too long," Emma told her. "That doesn't mean you can't love him like you say you do. If you want this, I'll stand by you, because I really do believe you have a really special bond with Kit."

Livvy reached across and wrapped her arms around Emma from where she sat on the bed behind her. "Thank you, Em,"

"Kit's kinda cute, right?" Emma asked.

"Bit young for you, isn't he?" Livvy retorted and Emma shoved her jokingly.

"Ew, I mean for someone your age, perv," she laughed.

"I dunno. I guess?" Livvy shrugged.

"It's really important that if you and Kit become Parabatai you don't fall for the Herondale charm."

Livvy gave a squeal. "Emma! Ew, no! He's like a brother to me and besides he's Ty's…" she froze, and went back to plaiting Emma's hair. She'd almost done it, almost outed them both. That was far too close. Luckily, Emma didn't seem to have heard, had been laughing over the end of Livvy's sentence.

"Okay, okay. You're not going to fall madly in love with Kit. Good. That's my job done."

"And anyway, who falls in love with someone and then becomes their Parabatai?" Livvy asked incredulously. "Surely that's like rule number one of being Parabatai."

"Yeah, you'd think," Emma said, and Livvy frowned at the tone of her voice. She sounded a little sad.

"What's wrong?" Livvy asked.

"You're pulling my hair," Emma complained, pointing to where her hair was secured by a hair tie.

"It's as loose as it can be," Livvy grumbled, clipping the last little halo of blonde hair around the crown of her head. "There, done."

Emma sat up and held her mirror behind her, looking in her dressing table.

"Beautiful, babe," she grinned. "Thank you. If your brother asks, we had a very in depth conversation about the whole Parabatai thing, yep?"

"Yep," Livvy nodded. "I'm off to go and train."

"I'll be there in a while. I'm just going to have a shower."

Livvy turned down the hall and saw Ty outside her room, waiting for her to return. He looked beside himself with delight.

"You need to come with me," he grinned mischievously. "Kit and Jules are having the single most uncomfortable conversation I've ever heard."

"You were eavesdropping?" Livvy asked, following him eagerly.

"Obviously," Ty replied. "Isn't that our favourite hobby?"

"Touché, Tiberius," she nodded. "Touché."

He pulled her down beside him, their ears against the wall to the drawing room, trying to listen in to Julian and Kit's conversation.

After breakfast, Kit had found himself being tugged into a conversation with Julian, eventually leading to the two of them heading to the drawing room next to Julian's office. He felt oddly like he was being called to the principal's office as he sat down in an armchair against the wall, Julian himself perched on the edge of his desk.

"I just wanted to ask how you were settling in," he said, trying to shuffle the papers out from under him. "You're becoming Parabatai with Livvy. That's pretty exciting."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is," Kit nodded. "It's the first time I've felt like a proper Shadowhunter."

Julian nodded. "I understand that. You're lucky. Most Shadowhunters don't have a Parabatai. You're one of the few."

"Part of an exclusive club, right?" Kit said. "Do we get a special badge or something that gets us into underground parties and two for one coupons at Bed, Bath and Beyond?"

"What?" Jules asked, bemused.

"Yeah, I guess Shadowhunters are more Hot Topic people, right?" Kit replied awkwardly. "I mean, emo Shadowhunters probably wear white, right?"

"I have no idea, Kit. I doubt it's in the Codex."

"I doubt I'd have any luck googling it either."

"Anyway," Julian went on. "I just want to talk to you a little bit about being Parabatai. There's a lot of important stuff to know. It's a huge thing for Nephilim, this ceremony, this ritual."

"I'm really, really sure. I want this, Julian. I'm not going to get cold feet. You won't need to pay for couple's therapy for us or anything."

"You're at a good age to become Parabatai," Julian commented. "Fifteen is a good age. But it's also an…unusual age. It's a confusing age."

"Yeah, it has been for me, but then I don't suppose most people's fifteenth year trying not to die at the hands of vampires."

"No, but it's a weird age for everyone," Julian said, sounding a little bit uncomfortable. Kit prickled, not liking where this conversation looked to be headed.

"You know, you're a teenager. It's very important you don't fall for your Parabatai, and you're fifteen. You might have…urges."

Kit made a horrified noise that drowned out the faint sound of muffled laughter outside the door.

"Julian, stop!" Kit said, sounding mortified. He could feel his cheeks burning, embarrassed. This was way too close to the health classes his whole class had awkwardly squirmed through in middle school. He didn't want to talk about teenage urges, and especially _not_ with Julian. Julian was a comforting mentor, but Kit was not about to talk about anything like that with him. Kit was already getting to his feet to escape.

"Kit, no, what I mean is…obviously Livvy is very pretty but…"

"I don't have a crush on Livvy!" Kit exclaimed, and this time he was sure he heard a quickly-stifled laugh. "Julian, I will not end up falling for my Parabatai. I'm pretty sure that's both illegal and _not a thing, Julian_."

It was somewhat comforting to note that Julian also looked unbelievably uncomfortable. He stood up and went over to the door.

"Okay, um, never speak of this again?" Julian suggested. Kit nodded eagerly. "Okay, good chat."

Kit shut the door quickly behind him, toes curling, cringing at the conversation he'd just endured. Almost immediately after the door closed, Kit noticed the twins clutching at each other, laughing silently, gasping for breath.

"Urges. Kit, Kit, I'm dying," Livvy wheezed. Ty's pale face was flushed with laughter, clinging to Livvy's arm.

"You…you missed d-do emo shadowhunters wear wh…" Ty broke off, covering his face with his hands, snorting with laughter.

"Oh, by the Angel," Livvy spluttered. "I can't. I can't. Ty, oh my God."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Come on, let's go," Kit said, blushing. The twins pulled each other to their feet, still giggling. "I hate you both," Kit mumbled, making the twins erupt all over again.

Ty knocked on the door to Julian's office a little while later, focusing hard on not laughing just at the memory of the conversation that had happened here a few hours earlier.

"Come in," Jules called, and Ty pushed the door open, making Julian smile. "You don't need to knock, Ty-Ty. It's your house," he said fondly, and Ty sat down.

"Have you talked to Magnus and Alec about my apprenticeship?" he asked hopefully, and Julian's face dropped.

"I completely forgot, I'm so sorry," Jules admitted apologetically. There was no point in lying, not with Ty. It only made things worse. Julian stood up and sat down by his brother on the sofa. Ty slumped against him affectionately, and Julian was reminded – as he always was when Ty was affectionate – of the time when Ty had hated anyone but Livvy touching him. He'd gotten a whole lot better at that in the last few years, and now that circle of trust had extended to himself and Kit and, to some extent, Emma. He still sometimes flinched a little when she ruffled his hair, and he wouldn't abide her touching his back, but Julian still couldn't believe the progress he'd made in the five short years since the Dark War. It made him far less reluctant to let him go to New York a couple of days a week to work with Magnus and Alec.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" Jules asked.

"Good," Ty replied in his clipped manner. Julian smiled.

"How do you feel about Kit and Livvy becoming Parabatai?"

"Great! It's great! They'll be like Holmes and Watson."

"Who's who?" Julian pondered.

"Livvy is Holmes," Ty said after a moment. "Kit is Watson. But Livvy is too…Livvy to be Sherlock."

"Weirdly, I know what you mean." Julian laughed. "But you're okay with it? This Parabatai thing?"

"I'm elated," Ty said, and Julian smiled a little at the verbose way his little brother spoke. "I'm really glad they're friends. I'd hate it if Livvy didn't like my…" Ty cut himself off suddenly, paling. "My best friend." He could feel the air on his skin, tingling and prickling. He felt like he couldn't breathe properly, like he'd forgotten how to inhale and exhale.

"Ty?" Julian asked, and Ty looked up sharply. "Are you okay?"

"N-no, I…I'm fine…I…" Ty was stumbling over his words, barely coherent. He shrugged away from Julian, leaning against the opposite side of the sofa and stared down at his hands.

"Tiberius, just tell me what…"

"I kissed Kit," he admitted, the statement exploding out of him like a bullet from a gun. He sat back in relief when he'd said it, and then his eyes widened, horrified. Reluctantly, he flicked his eyes up toward Julian, and away again.

"Yeah?" Julian asked. "So, are you going out with him?" he prompted, when Ty said nothing.

"I…I think so." Ty nodded uncertainly. "I'm not sure. How do I know?"

Julian shrugged. "I don't know. But, Ty, that's great," he said, ruffling his brother's hair. Ty flinched a little, and Julian drew his hand away. When Ty was worried, he was even more sensitive to touch than usual. "Are you happy, Ty?"

"Yes. I am," Ty replied, making Julian grin. "I think Livvy is still reeling in shock that I had my first kiss before her. And before you!" he said, giggling.

Julian nodded. Perhaps Ty wasn't strictly correct that he'd never kissed anyone, but that was a whole other realm of problems that Julian was fervently trying to ignore. With everything that had been happening, it had been easier to distract himself from Emma. He was starting to hope he was run off his feet forever to prevent a situation from occurring that could be detrimental.

"I have to go, but will you call Magnus and Alec?" Ty asked.

"Oh, of course. I'm on it. Don't worry. I'm sorry I forgot."

"And I have to keep what I told you secret," Ty said conspiratorially as he left. "Kit told me not to say anything. He's really…frightened, I think. But I don't like keeping secrets from you. I _had_ to tell you. It was giving me a headache not telling you. It felt like my skull was going to implode."

"My lips are sealed," Julian promised, and then corrected himself at Ty's puzzled expression. "I won't say anything about it."

"Thanks!" Ty said, and disappeared from the doorway and down the hall to find Livvy at the computer. Julian felt slightly shaken. His little brother had a boyfriend. He'd always assumed that it would be Livvy he'd be worrying about first, and maybe even Dru before he even had to begin thinking about Ty dating. He had a real soft spot for Ty. He loved all the kids equally, but Ty's love felt special because it was given out so sparingly and Julian felt like he'd had to work for it. Now he'd got it, Ty's love was unconditional, his faith in Julian unshakeable. Livvy worried about her clothes and makeup, Dru about her weight and whether her shirt and jeans were the same shade of black. Ty worried about bees and Sherlock Holmes and mysteries. Perhaps, Julian thought, he'd been naïve in thinking about dating. Ty's interests were so different from the rest of his family's, he was so solitary, so happy with his own company that it was sometimes easy to forget that he was craving the same thing the rest of them did; affection. Julian picked up his cell phone and dialled Magnus's number.

"You start tomorrow."

Ty looked up from where he was sat by Kit, Livvy sat on the floor in front of him. His eyes widened and he drummed his hands on his knees excitedly, making Kit smile.

"I'm so excited," Ty announced, and Livvy turned to him.

"I can tell. You're moving the whole sofa," she laughed affectionately. He leaned forwards to drum his hands on her shoulders instead until she shook him off, grinning. "You're so annoying!"

"New York," Ty breathed, beaming. "Did you know, studies suggest that New Yorkers bite people around ten times more than sharks do every year?"

"How would he have known that, Ty? How would anyone possibly have known that?" Kit asked, amused. Ty just shrugged. Kit turned to Julian. "Do you think I could go too? I kind of want to talk to Jace. Y'know, Parabatai and Herondale stuff?"

"Ah, family secrets. I understand," Julian said, tapping the side of his nose conspiratorially. "Go for it. If the portal sends you straight to the apartment, I'm sure Alec will take you to the institute."

"Oh _please_ can I go too then?" Livvy begged. "I have to. Isabelle will be there!"

"No, you do not have permission to stalk the only Lightwood daughter."

"Emma used to stalk Jace," Livvy pouted. "She climbed into his bedroom window."

"What?!" Julian asked, whirling on Emma.

"Firstly, it was Alec's window," Emma grinned. "Secondly, Jules, let your creepy sister go spy on somebody else. Thirdly, how do you know about that?"

"Our bedroom was next to yours and I'm a light sleeper. You thought I wouldn't notice you spiderman-ing past our window?"

"Touché," Emma laughed.

"Please, please, please can I go?" Livvy said, widening her eyes at Julian and sticking her bottom lip out. He sighed.

"I'll text Alec and ask whether she'd be up for it. Maybe you could even train a little with her. She might tutor you a bit."

Livvy suppressed a squeal and punched the air. "Trio trip to the Big Apple!" she said, and Kit and Ty exchanged a look, and nodded.

"Fully chaperoned by the New York Institute Shadowhunters," Julian added, as the three of them left, all chattering over one another. Julian sighed. "The twins are growing up so fast," Julian said nostalgically. Emma nodded, a crooked smile on her lips.

"Not as fast as you had to grow up," she pointed out. "They're having the childhood we never had because of you. Livvy is going to have a Parabatai, just like us."

Hopefully not just like us, Julian thought. They'd be lucky to find a love like this, but he'd never want them to have to deal with the heartache that comes with loving your Parabatai. Emma patted his cheek lightly from over his shoulder as she stood, making him bat her away.

"Sleep well, Jules," she said, yawning, and left him curled up under the throw tossed over the back of the sofa he sat on.


	11. Chapter 11

"Why are you wearing lipstick? You never wear lipstick," Ty asked, bouncing on his toes in anticipation. They were waiting for Kit to finish getting ready. Livvy wanted to yell for him to hurry up because she and Ty were nearly bursting with excitement.

"Because I'm meeting _the_ Isabelle Lightwood and this is, like, her signature look," Livvy informed him. She had a velvet skater skirt over the bodysuit she liked wearing to train, a pair of sheer black tights and sneakers. Ty thought she looked like a ballerina.

When Kit finally emerged at the top of the stairs, he looked sheepish, taking the steps two at a time. Livvy's fingernails were bitten down to the quick – she had inherited Julian's nervous nail-biting habit – and Ty was pacing. They let out an exclamation at the same time as Kit got to the bottom of the stairs, berating him for his lateness.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You think _this_ just happens?" he said, gesturing to his hair.

"Herondales" Livvy sighed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, you and Jace will get along just fine."

"Magnus and Alec told us to get there between 9 and half past. It's nine twenty," Ty said, hurrying off with Livvy like the white rabbit. Kit wondered if this made him Alice. The Shadow World certainly felt as nonsensical as Wonderland at times.

"What's the problem with that?" Kit asked, following them to the portal, where Julian and Emma were waiting and chatting.

"Because exactly between those times is quarter past. We're five minutes late."

"We're ten minutes early," Kit protested. Julian looked up.

"Ready?" he asked.

"The most ready," Livvy nodded.

"The readiest," Kit agreed.

"Yeah," Ty answered. Emma laughed.

"Yay! Points for enthusiasm, Ty-Ty," she said sarcastically, giving him two thumbs-up. Ty smiled and Emma gave him a quick, supportive wink that made him feel calmer, like he and Emma were having a secret conversation. It was the reason he liked his mental twin conversations with Livvy. Studies Ty had seen said only 7% of communication was verbal. 55% was body language, and 38% was tone of voice. Ty sometimes felt like he only understood that verbal 7%. These secret conversations made him feel like he was finally being let in on the secret.

"Okay," Julian went along the line of them, squeezing each of their shoulders in turn. "Be good. Have fun. Look after each other," he said to each of them in turn. Kit couldn't help but smile at the protectiveness Julian exhibited toward his siblings. And, Kit thought, to him too. Maybe he was becoming a part of the family after all.

Ty took Livvy's hand, her other reaching out to grab Kit's, and the three of them stepped into the whirling mass of portal. In Kit's opinion, going through a portal was awful. It felt like being pushed through a rubber tube just a little too narrow for your body. He felt like someone had grabbed him around the middle and squeezed all his internal organs. When he emerged, he felt weirdly nauseous and a little dizzy. Livvy shot s hand out and steadied him, Ty looking concerned.

"Turbulence?" Magnus said, looking sympathetic. Kit nodded palely.

"We'll get you all a drink. Sit down. You'll feel better in a minute," Alec said, ushering them all over to the sofa in the organised way of parents used to herding children around. The three of them grinned at each other and flopped down happily onto the leather sofa covered in blankets and throws, Kit a little more hesitant than the twins. The leather was cracked and felt soft and strange at the same time. Ty stroked his fingers along it and then pulled it back, not entirely sure about this texture, shoving his hands in his pockets instead. "Rafe! Come here, and bring Max please. We have visitors," Alec called, and not long after the boys the twins recognised from the Institute. Kit had never seen the two kids. He'd run away that day on the beach. Magnus, Alec, and their kids had come to help find him. He'd never thanked them. He wondered what they thought of them. He wondered what they thought of him, if they thought he was some flight risk runaway. If they did, they didn't make the whipped cream peaks on his hot chocolate any smaller, didn't give him any less marshmallows. He cradled the mug in his hands as Magnus and Alec sat down. Max gave a gleeful squeal and opened his starfish hands so Magnus would lift him up. Magnus reached down and scooped his son into his arms. Rafael sat down between his dads, resting his head on Alec's arm. Alec put an arm around the boy and hugged him close whilst Rafael cast the three visitors shy looks and tried to disappear behind his dad. Alec laughed, stroking Rafael's dark hair comfortingly. Lucky kids, Kit thought. If he'd had even one dad half as good as Magnus or Alec, maybe he wouldn't feel so angry and messed up all the time. He took a sip of hot chocolate as Ty leaned across to wipe a blob of whipped cream from the tip of Livvy's nose, making her screw it up like rabbit just the same way Ty did when he was confused.

"Right, so what's the plan for today?" Magnus asked, bouncing Max on his knee. He turned to Ty. "You're with us." He looked between Kit and Livvy. "What are you two up to? Sightseeing? Just here for moral support?"

"I'm here to see Jace. I'm a Herondale," Kit explained, and Alec and Magnus exchanged a look.

"We thought you'd all died out, but you just keep coming out of the woodwork, don't you?" Alec asked and Kit shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I'm not up on my family history."

"And I'm here to visit your sister," Livvy told Alec, who smiled.

"Don't eat anything she cooks for you," Alec advised, and Livvy raised an eyebrow in confusion. He turned to Kit. "Feeling a little less queasy, Jace Jr.?"

"Not loving the nickname, but yes," Kit said, sipping his drink.

Magnus gave Kit a quick look and then leaned forward. "Are you the Kit who yelled at the centurions?"

"I am he," Kit nodded. "For good reason though."

"It was epic," Livvy grinned.

Ty looked a little shy still, more so than he had last time he'd been here. His hands were tapping his mug nervously. Kit put a hand on the other boy's knee and Ty breathed out, his body relaxing from its rigid posture. He put his hand over Kit's gratefully. Both suddenly looked up and pulled their hands apart as they saw Magnus and Alec looking. Ty was blushing and Alec felt a rush of empathetic déjà vu for the boy. He reminded him of his younger self. Pale, black hair, the same constant fear of outing himself as different. Alec could sense there was something between Ty and Kit, the same way he and Magnus had discussed covertly that there was something beyond Parabatai feelings between Julian and Emma. But he got the feeling that whatever was happening between Ty and Kit, that wasn't all he was trying to hide. Julian had told Alec and Magnus that Ty was autistic. Magnus said he remembered some spiteful going around the mundane world about vaccines and Catarina being furious. Alec didn't know what Ty had going on, but he did know that Ty had some immensely useful skills worth honing and views worth upholding. Alec was of the firm belief the reason the Clave made so few advances was because they quashed any divergence, any difference. Some of the greatest inventions in the history of the shadow world came from unique brains; Henry Branwell's sensor, Clary's new runes. It broke his heart that so many developments in Shadowhunter history had been delayed or never even happened because the minds behind them didn't fit the Clave's definition of the perfect Shadowhunter. Instead, they were hidden away, their talents never brought to light. Enough. Alec was sick of it. Ty had said, the last time he'd been here that "If no one ever does anything about injustice, nothing changes." And he was right.

"Okay, we'll head to the Institute, leave you two in the care of Jace and Izzy, and then we'll head back," Magnus said. "Okay?"

The three fifteen-year-olds nodded, and Alec stood up, taking Max from Magnus's lap and beckoning Rafael. "Come on, you two need to get ready to visit Auntie Izzy and Uncle Jace."

Max roared like a lion in reply, and Alec reacted in a way so passive it could only have been parental. Magnus shook his head in amusement.

"Sorry for the general chaos around here," he laughed. "I'd love to say it isn't normally like this, but unfortunately this is fairly normal."

"Well, our Institute isn't exactly normal either," Livvy pointed out.

"Have you all had breakfast?" Magnus asked. The twins nodded; Kit shook his head.

"It's fine, I decided long ago I preferred sleep over breakfast," he assured the warlock quickly.

"Sorry, no can do. I believe in breakfast above all else. So what do you want? Toast? A muffin?"

"I'll take a muffin if you've got one," Kit shrugged.

Magnus waved a sparking hand and a blueberry muffin appeared in his palm. He handed it to a startled Kit. "Don't tell Alec I did that," Magnus winked, putting a finger to his lips.

By the time Alec emerged with the children wrapped in coats, Kit had gotten rid of all evidence of the muffin, only a stray crumb on his sweater as proof. The weather was still turning in L.A., at the point of Fall where it was still desperately clinging to warm summer days, changeable and unpredictable. But in New York, Fall was decidedly upon the city. Kit, Livvy, and Ty were dressed for the cooler weather, but it was still unusual to see the leaves already orange on the trees on the avenue as they emerged into the street. The noise was intense, and Ty flinched. Livvy and Kit both cast him a look at the same time.

"Headphones?" she asked, and he wavered.

Around new people, Ty was always reluctant to do what he needed to in order to manage, partially because he was well aware that Julian had spent their whole life hiding those things about Ty and to undo all that for a short period of comfort seemed selfish. Livvy unzipped her twin's backpack and handed him the headphones inside. He put them around his neck, but he didn't put them on. When they reached the subway, however, he caved and settled them tightly over his ears, face pale. Livvy made a beeline for a couple of seats and pulled him with her, sitting down beside him and taking his hand in hers, rubbing it firmly and matter-of-factly between her own. Kit understood. He liked the pressure, and Kit didn't blame him for being uncomfortable. The subway was practically unbearable for him, with the loud clanking interludes of other trains going past and the claustrophobic feeling of a dozen people all bumping into you at the same time. He couldn't imagine what that felt like to Ty.

Terrible, Ty thought, curling in on himself. His head was on his lap, Livvy firmly rubbing his back, and he was vaguely aware people were looking. All he wanted was a glamour rune and to be off this train. But a suddenly-disappearing person would surely draw more attention than a boy slightly rocking in his seat. Max had been thoroughly glamoured by Alec into a normal peachy complexion as opposed to his usual blue skin, his ram's horns hidden by an orange hat that looked like a fox and had little ears. Ty was muttering his favourite words under his breath, Livvy whispering them along with him comfortingly. Magnus and Alec were exchanging worried looks. Eventually, Rafael pulled free from Alec's hand and tugged on Kit's sleeve. He pointed at Ty and looked up at Kit questioningly.

"He's okay. He's just overwhelmed," Kit told the boy, taking his hand to try and calm Alec, who looked like he was wondering whether his son would dart from the train as soon as the doors opened. Rafael's small hand was warm in Kit's, and he held on tightly so the child couldn't run off.

"Kit what does he need from us?" Magnus asked, whirling Max away from a woman whose scarf he was trying to grab at. He met her glare with an apologetic look and bounced Max higher onto his hip, generally trying to quiet his child without disturbing anyone else.

"How many stops have we got left?" Kit asked, as the train shuddered to a halt. He tightened his grip on Rafael so he didn't go flying down the carriage.

"Three, I think," Alec said, casting looks between the twins and Rafael. He really needed more eyes, Kit thought to himself, and more hands.

"He'll feel better when he's off this train. You might need to give him a minute to recover though," Kit said, and Magnus and Alec nodded.

"Of course. I didn't even think about the fact this might be stressful. I feel awful," Alec said, looking at the twins.

"Don't be. It's not your fault," Kit replied, and Magnus thought suddenly how strangely grown up the three of them were for age fifteen. They seemed thoroughly capable, and Magnus wondered whether that was a thing that came with having to shoulder a lot of responsibility from a young age.

When their stop came, Livvy pulled Ty gently to his feet and tugged him carefully through the crowds of people and out onto the platform. She led him over to a little alcove of wall and hugged him tightly, her knuckles whitening on his shoulders.

"It's okay, it's okay," she was saying softly, and he nodded, hair stuck to his forehead with sweat.

"Do you want a drink?" Kit asked, reaching into Ty's backpack and pulling out a bottle of Gatorade. He handed the bottle to Ty, who gave him a grateful look as he unscrewed the lid and taking a sip, hands shaking. Without seeming to notice it, Kit and Livvy had moved to block Ty from the rest of the people on the platform, shielding him from judgemental looks or nosy stares. He was shaking all over, hands fumbling to put the lid back on his drinks bottle, but too stubborn to let anyone help him do it. His chest was still rising and falling with harsh breaths, but they came far less rapidly now he was off the subway. Magnus swallowed hard and stepped forward.

"We're so, so sorry," he said, one hand clutching Max against him and the other holding Rafael. Kit had handed parental control back to an actual parent when he'd stepped off the subway. "We'll portal back once we've dropped these two at the Institute. Unless you want them to stay with you," Magnus added quickly. "Or if you would rather go home, that's okay. We understand."

Ty's head jerked up. "No, no, no. I want to stay, if I can – if you'll let me," Ty said hastily. Some colour was returning to his cheeks and he sounded much less shaky. His eyes widened and he drew in a scared breath, glanced between Magnus and Alec uncertainly. "I can still work with you right? You're not…I can do whatever you need. I just need…I just need to do it differently. I can do whatever you want me to, whatever you need. I promise, I'll work harder than anyone else. I want it more than anyone else. Please…please don't send me home." He looked devastated. His plans to go to the Scholomance had fallen through, and now this? Maybe that was the problem; everywhere he wanted to work was just looking for someone more…normal. But Alec was already striding forward.

"Tiberius, it is nothing like that," Alec assured him firmly, clearly. "We didn't mean to put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with. We're apologising to you. We don't expect an apology in return, because you haven't done anything wrong. We want to work with you very, very much." Ty heaved a sigh of relief and Alec continued. "Please don't feel awkward about this. We are more than used to this kind of thing. Besides, we all have things that set us off. I'll tell you a secret," he said, dropping his voice. "I don't like spiders, or – and this one is weird – umbrellas. They freak me out."

"I like spiders," Ty told him.

"And that's okay, just like it's okay that I don't like them," Alec nodded. "We're all scared of different things, so we all need to look after each other. So you don't bring me any spiders, and I won't make you ride the subway. Deal?"

"Deal." Ty nodded.

"Want to shake on that?" Alec asked, sticking his hand out. Ty shook it, smiling at Alec's comforting friendliness.

"Thank you," Ty said quietly.

"You ready to go or do you want a moment?" Alec checked.

"I'm ready. We can go."

Kit took Ty's hand and held it tightly. Often, he'd be reluctant to do something like that in public, especially around people they didn't know that well. But Ty was still freaked, Kit knew, and he wanted to let Ty know he was there. Besides, of all the people in the shadow world, Magnus and Alec seemed the least likely to flip out. As predicted, Magnus and Alec totally ignored it. Kit didn't let go of the other boy's hand go until they turned the corner onto the street on which the New York Institute sat.

When Alec knocked on the Institute door, Jace emerged from the dining room and went over to hug his Parabatai in greeting. Then he looked at Ty, and smiled.

"Heard you found your book. Congratulations on identifying that demon."

"Thank you," Ty nodded, and then Jace turned to Kit.

"Hey, Kit. You ready for some quality Herondale bonding?"

Kit laughed. "Yeah, sure."

"And congratulations to both of you on your Parabatai decision," he added, smiling at Livvy too with that same dazzling grin. He looked at Alec fondly. "It's the best decision you'll ever make. You'll love your Parabatai more than you ever imagined you could love anyone."

Alec gave him an affectionate look and nodded in agreement at his words. Isabelle ran downstairs, feet bare and with her heels in her hand. She dropped her shoes and drew Livvy warmly into her arms, into an embrace that smelled of vanilla perfume. When she drew back, she sat down on the staircase to put her shoes on and tie the straps of them around her ankles.

"I love your shirt," Izzy told her.

"Thanks. I found it in some thrift shop on the L.A. strip," Livvy blushed.

"I can never find anything that cute in thrift shops. You'll have to come shopping with me and teach me your ways."

"Gladly," Livvy grinned.

"We training today?" Isabelle asked, and Livvy nodded. "Come on, let's get you cleansed of all this testosterone and do our hair or something."

Livvy turned and hugged Ty, resting her chin on his shoulder so she could whisper to him.

"Text me if you need anything. You sure you don't want me to stay with you?"

"It's okay. I'm okay. Have fun."

She let go of him and followed Isabelle upstairs and Jace turned to Kit.

"That's probably our cue. Can I get you a coffee?"

"Sure," Kit nodded. He shot Ty a smile, Ty returning the gesture. "Text me if you want anything. Have a good time."

"You too," Ty smiled.

Jace and Kit disappeared, Kit casting one last look back at Ty and waving as he went. Ty turned to Magnus and Alec.

"Come on, let's get a taxi," Alec suggested, taking Max from Magnus's arms so the warlock could go and retrieve Rafael, who had gone to start exploring the corridors. "Is that okay?" Ty nodded.

"Maia and Lily will be setting off soon. We better get going," Magnus said, catching up to Rafael and tickling him into submission. He giggled and batted him away.

"Let's go. Daddies have meetings. Are you going to look after your little brother for us?"

Rafael nodded and took Magnus's hand. When they got outside and hailed a taxi, Ty climbed into the back with Alec and the kids while Magnus sat up front riding shotgun and directing the driver.

Ty finally relaxed around midday, when the flurry of introductions had been performed and lunch had been eaten. He hadn't eaten much, just pushed some salad around his plate and taken a few bites of sandwich. This was earlier than he usually ate, and he tried not to let it show that he cared his routine was being messed up. It wasn't a big deal, but it was a deal all the same. Maia and Lily were nice enough. They'd greeted Ty warmly. Lily was his favourite. She reminded him of Aline, with her straight black hair and pretty almond eyes. A pang for Helen went through Ty's chest, and he drowned it down with a sip of cherry soda.

He was making notes quickly, half on paper and half on Magnus's laptop, which Ty had fallen in love with. Livvy would adore it. The one issue with Watson – the computer, not the Conan Doyle character – was that he had to stay in the library. Magnus had handed his laptop to TY, and now Ty was crossed-legged on the corner of the sofa, a can of soda on the coffee table in front of him, and a laptop on his knees. His notes were spread along the part of the sofa next to him where you could stretch your legs out, and he felt a little like the court stenographers he'd seen on TV crime shows. It was Ty's job to note down what was being discussed – cutting out any gossip or Clave-bashing, Magnus hastened to add, amusing Ty – and look for patterns, helping him solve their problem. Currently, they were discussing a death, a member of Maia's pack showing signs of vampire attack. The four adults were discussing how this was an issue, because since their alliance had been established there had been no Downworlder-on-Downworlder violence between anyone in the allied groups.

"We found her body around the back of the Wolf, by the dumpsters," Maia told them. "There were bite marks in her neck, so it was definitely a vampire attack. Any ideas who you think might have a grudge against her from your clan, Lil?"

"What was her name again? Ava?"

"Eva," Maia corrected. Lily shook her head.

"I can't think of anyone. I don't think I've ever even heard her name mentioned."

"She pretty much flew under the radar," Maia nodded. "Poor girl. She was never any trouble. She wasn't much older than I was when Luke found me."

Lily tutted sympathetically, and Ty couldn't help but marvel. In L.A., the Downworlder relations were tense and strained, and it was somewhat amazing to see a vampire, a werewolf, a warlock, and a Shadowhunter all laughing and working together. Back home, it was almost impossible to find a high-up Shadowhunters who wasn't prejudiced against Downworlders.

"I can't believe this," Lily said, shaking her head. "The peace treaty has been going so well, and now this?"

"You couldn't save her?" Magnus asked sadly. Maia shook her head.

"Two days dead when Liam found her."

"Who are all these people? I'm sure I'm never heard about these people," Alec said, running a hand through her hair.

"They were friends, I think. He was pretty cut up about it. It was worse because he said he saw someone passed out the night before and didn't mention it. I guess it turned out to be her."

Ty looked up. "Um, hi?" The adults all turned him, almost like they'd forgotten he was there. "This has nothing to do with the vampires. Do you still have the body?"

Maia's eyes widened, mouth falling open. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I need to see the body," Ty repeated.

"Um…yeah? We haven't buried her yet. I'll take you."

Alec looked startled. "I'm not sure Julian would be thrilled that we were taking his 15 year old brother to view a corpse."

"I watched my dad die. I've seen a body. At least this one is cold," he said, standing up. Alec glanced at Magnus, who shrugged.

"I'll stay with the kids," Alec said. "Taxi," he reminded Magnus, who nodded, dropping a kiss on Alec's forehead before racing to the door.

"Let's go," Magnus said, handing Ty his coat as they left.

"Wait, we're all just going to go across town with no proof and what? Confront someone?" Lily asked.

"If he says that's what we should do, that's what we're doing. You don't know this kid. He's like some freaky genius."

"Magnus!" Alec exclaimed.

"Sorry, not freaky," Magnus said quickly, but Ty was laughing, hands drumming against his sides excitedly.

"The game is afoot," he grinned, and Magnus followed him down the stairwell, the girls only a couple of steps behind.

"It certainly is," Magnus nodded, sticking his hand out to stop an oncoming taxi. He slid into the passenger seat and turned to the driver as the others piled into the back. "The Jade Wolf restaurant please. And step on it."

"Emergency Chinese food?" the man said sarcastically.

"Something like that," Magnus said, winking at Ty. But the boy was making notes on his phone and didn't even look up.

When they pulled up, Magnus shoved a twenty into the driver's hand and the four of them all piled out and dashed through the doors of the Jade Wolf, Maia leading the way.

"Where's Eva?" Maia demanded, and Bat stood up to lead them to the back room, where a body was laid out on a cold metal table on wheels. The whole place still looked like a restaurant inside, even though it wasn't really serving as one anymore. The cab driver had looked confused when they'd all walked into a derelict restaurant that looked like it hadn't served a soul in years and was all boarded up.

"I need gloves," Ty said, looking at the body.

"Who is this kid?" a werewolf at the door said.

"Liam, go away," Ty said without looking behind him.

"How does that little Nephilim weirdo know my name?" Liam hissed.

"Go," Maia said shortly, and he skulked off. "All of you," she added to the rest of the pack, who were all crowded in the doorway, gawking. They dispersed at their pack leaders words, Bat giving Maia an amused wink, shutting the door behind him as he left with the others.

"Right, sorry about that, Ty," Maia said, shaking her head. "He was her friend. He's pretty protective of her. Tell us what you need and we'll get it."

"Gloves, magnifying glass, Kit."

"Kit?" Lily asked, glancing at Magnus. "What kind of kit?"

"His friend. Lily, call Jace. Maia, gloves. I'll get a magnifying glass."

Maia disappeared to a store cupboard and returned moments later with a pair of latex gloves, which she handed to Ty. He blew into one to check for holes, found none, and rolled them on. He took the magnifying glass Magnus had summoned from mid-air in the same way he had done that morning with Kit's muffin.

"Thanks," Ty said, shrugging his coat off. Magnus caught it before it hid the grimy floor, hanging it on the back of the door.

"Kit is on his way. Jace said he has to rush off to meet Clary, so he's just dropping Kit off," Lily announced. "They're, like, fifteen minutes away."

"Thanks," Ty repeated. He turned to Maia, beckoned her. "Do I have your permission to make an incision in the body?"

"Um, why?" Maia asked, looking alarmed.

"Research. It's important," he explained shortly, eyes raking her body.

"Go ahead, I guess."

"Lily, can you write down what I'm saying, please? My notebook is in my backpack. There's a pen in the ring-binding."

She found the book after a moment of rifling through his bag and sat down on the side, pen poised. "Ready when you are."

Ty took the hem of her purple NYC hoodie and hitched it up. Beneath she wore a grey t-shirt that was slashed across the middle. He had to peel it up to see under it since it was so dark red and stiff with blood. Under, a thick bandage was wrapped around her midsection. Though it was soaked with old brown blood, he couldn't deny whoever had applied the bandage had done a good job of dressing the wound. He covered her back up again and nodded to himself.

"There are visible wounds on the victim over her clothes; two puncture wounds over the left collarbone and bruises, grazes, and cuts on the face," he dictated. Ty pulled one of his throwing knives from his belt and pulled it across her arm carefully. "I have made an incision approximately an inch long, deep enough to draw a blood sample." He swiped his finger along the cut and examined the blood on his glove. "The victim's blood is of normal colour." He turned to Maia. "I need sugar."

"Sugar?" she asked, but Magnus had already grabbed a sugar packet from the counter and shoved it toward Ty. He poured a small pile of it into his palm. He pinched some between his fingers and pressed it to her palm. When he brushed it away, the skin had blistered a little.

"I have placed some sugar on the right palm, and the skin blistered on contact." Reaching for his knife, he placed the flat of the blade against her arm. When he drew it back, he made a satisfied hum. "There was no skin reaction when contact was made with angelically-aligned material." He turned to Lily. "I think that's it for now. Thank you."

She looked charmed. "You're very methodical, aren't you?"

Ty just laughed, shrugging, face lighting up. As she said it, the door opened, admitting a startled and ruffled-looking Kit. Ty's smile grew. "Watson, hi," he beamed, and Kit ran a hand through his hair. It was messy. Ty thought it looked nice and he kind of wanted to smooth it, feel the blonde hair between his pale fingers. Instead, he turned, blushing, back to the task at hand. "Do you want to her hair back while I examine the marks?"

"Ty, I want nothing less," he said faintly. Kit's mind was racing. The last body he'd seen was the girl whose hand he'd held as she died on the beach. And now here was his…boyfriend (? That was an issue for another time) at a crime scene, suddenly some kind of forensic detective. But he looked so, so happy. Ty, for once, was comfortable and confident. Kit took a deep breath and walked over to him. "I can't touch the body. What else can I do?"

"Check the lunar patterns this past week," Ty told him, and Kit nodded, pulling out his phone. "When was the last full moon?"

"The night before last," Kit told him, and Ty nodded, bending over Eva's neck with a magnifying glass.

He turned to Maia. "She was in NYU?" he asked. "Isn't she kind of young to be in college? She looks about my age."

"That's not hers," Maia said, looking over his shoulder. "She dropped out of school when all the werewolf stuff began. I probably gave it her from the lost property. I think it was some girl called Judy's. She left a couple of years back now."

Ty made a derisive noise. "Who bandaged her?"

"Liam," Maia said sadly. "He was like her older brother. He wouldn't let anyone else touch her."

"Can I talk to him?" Ty asked, sitting down by Eva. "It'd be good to hear what happened from someone who knew her well. I want to know what she was like, if she had any vampires enemies. He might know best."

Maia nodded and brought him in. Ty smiled and offered him a chair facing away from Eva's body.

"Hi, I'm Tiberius. I'm so sorry for your loss," he said as Liam sat down. "I heard you were really close to her."

Liam nodded, saying nothing.

"She was pretty young, wasn't she?" Ty asked curiously. "I'm fifteen. She was my age, right?"

"Yeah, 'bout that age," he agreed.

"She can't have been turned that long ago, can she?" Ty wondered aloud.

"No, only a couple of months," he said, sounding pained. "She was only a kid."

"Sounds like you were a pretty good mentor to her though," Ty reasoned. "Maia told me she had to drop out of school because of the whole werewolf thing. You had to do the same, didn't you? That must have been hard after getting into a college as good as NYU. That must have been a relief for her, to have someone who understood."

"Maybe, I guess," the werewolf shrugged.

Ty looked at Maia. "You might want to deal with your killer now."

"Liam?" Maia asked. Liam snarled and lunged at Ty. Magnus shot a hand out and yanked the werewolf back with a string of blue sparks at the same time as Kit drew his blade and slashed out, catching Liam on the leg and drawing blood.

"How do you figure it's him? I'm not doing anything without proof." Maia looked conflicted, glancing around in horror. She was obviously torn between slapping Kit for hurting one of her pack and giving up on the whole thing.

"Firstly, those punctures on her neck aren't fang marks; they're claw marks," Ty said, taking his gloves off. "Fangs are built to puncture the skin. They're smooth. The skin is torn at the edges. Those are claws. Secondly, there are absolutely no signs of vampirism that should be present after biting to kill. Her blood isn't gaudily bright; she doesn't burn at the touch of blessed objects. However, she does blister at contact with refined sugar. Thus, she's still a werewolf. That clears the vampires."

"That doesn't mean it's one of my pack!" Maia protested. "And it certainly doesn't mean it's Liam!"

"Stupid kid has no idea what he's on about!" Liam spat. Kit glared. He wasn't entirely sure where Ty was going with this, and it would be a million levels of terrible if he was wrong, but he was trying to ignore that prospect.

Ty spun to Liam. "Hang on. I'm getting to you." Magnus stifled a laugh. " _You_ say she was like your little sister. And yet you left her in an alleyway?" Ty asked suspiciously. "And, she'd only experienced one full moon as a werewolf before. That's pretty frightening to handle alone. The night you found – and _left_ – her was a full moon. Some big brother you are.

"You're Nephilim scum. You have no idea what it's like to be a werewolf. You have no idea how good you have it. She could have killed me!"

"But she didn't. You killed her. You turned, and you killed her. You clawed her ribcage until she bled out when she was weak and vulnerable on a full moon. You realised what you'd done when you turned back and felt terrible. You had to make sure no one suspected you, so you threw them off the scent and toward the answer of vampires, an obvious choice because of a history of disagreement. So you planted those puncture marks, got rid of her bloodied sweatshirt and put her in your NYU hoodie to hide the bandages – which you applied very nicely, I must say. And then you left her. Big mistake; no one innocent fails to report their best friend's body." He turned to Kit. "Anyway, how was Jace?"

Kit was shaking and Ty walked over, putting a hand on his arm.

"I'll, um…I'll tell you later," he stuttered.

"You cleared us," Lily said in hollow shock. "The treaty hasn't been broken. Thank you, Ty."

Magnus put a hand on Kit's back. "C'mon. You look a little shaken. Let's get you some sugar before we send you back to Julian. The least he needs is you fainting to convince him not to let you come back."

"I can come back?" Ty asked excitedly.

"Are you kidding?" Magnus asked. "You just solved a major crime that would've put significant strain on the Alliance's work. If I thought Julian would let us, I'd keep you here twenty-four seven."

Ty laughed and took Kit's arm. "I can't wait to tell Livvy everything." Kit gave a shaky nod.

"Well, we'll leave you to it. Alec and I will call back later on if we can get someone to babysit. I'll just get these home and then I'll come back. Text me if you need anything."

"Go to Hell," Liam snarled.

"Don't worry, my spot there has been long since reserved, my love," Magnus called as they left through the back to avoid the crowd of eavesdropping lycanthropes. "Right," he announced briskly. "We'll drop Izzy a text to bring Livvy up and we'll get you two back to the apartment. I'll make us all some cocoa and we'll all calm down before we send you home to Jules."

"S-sorry I've taken all your hot chocolate in th-therapy drinks," Kit said, teeth chattering. Magnus gave him a warm smile.

"You wouldn't be the first, and you won't be the last. Therapy drinks are what Alec and I do best," Magnus told him. "Now, come in. I'll ring for a taxi. We'll never hail one out here."

Kit had both hands wrapped around a mug of cocoa and a blanket draped over his shoulders when Livvy burst into the apartment. Ty was sat with his legs across Kit's lap, reading an Edgar Allen Poe book. She froze, looking between them, and turned to Ty.

"What did you do?"

Alec grinned at the twin telepathy, the fact Livvy seemed to be able to sense when her brother was in mischief.

"I solved a crime," Ty told her. "And we got to go to the crime scene. It was _awesome_."

Livvy cast Kit a look. "I have a feeling you found it a little more awesome than Kit did." Kit gave a nod of assent and Livvy sat down, pulling Ty's feet into her lap. "Okay. Tell me absolutely everything."

Ty beamed, leaning forward excitedly as he began. "Okay, so there was this werewolf called Eva…"

"Kit, will you come help me with the kids for a second?" Magnus asked, interrupting quickly. Kit scrambled up, grateful for an escape from re-experiencing the whole thing and being traumatised all over again. He'd only just about got over the bout of sickness the real thing had brought. He didn't have a problem with not hearing it retold for Livvy's benefit. Magnus gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and ushered him into the next room where Rafael was building a neat tower of Duplo and Max was curiously shoving one of the big bright blocks into his mouth. Kit bent down and prised it out of his chubby blue hand. Max laughed like Kit was the funniest person he'd ever met and Rafael handed him some blocks to help him build more neat towers.

When Kit returned, the twins had somehow swapped positions. Livvy had her head in Ty's lap, staring up at the ceiling and telling him all about her day with Isabelle.

"She gave me this barrette. Neat, huh?"

"Looks great, Livs. Sparkly," Ty nodded, stroking her hair out of the way of the clip to get a better look at it.

"And it's in the shape of a dragonfly. I told her you'd like that."

"It's really pretty," he agreed, looking up at Kit in the doorway. Livvy turned her head to the side.

"Speaking of pretty," she grinned, and Kit rolled his eyes. "Come here," she said, beckoning him. He moved her legs so he could slide past them and rest them on his lap, sat beside Ty on the sofa. He gave Kit a concerned look, which Kit responded to with a smile he hoped was reassuring to let Ty know he was okay.

"Ready to head back?" Alec asked, and the three of them nodded. Livvy looked reluctant, Kit slightly less so, seemingly glad for the opportunity to return to the relative normalcy of the Los Angeles Institute. Alec couldn't blame him. He still expected the boy would return with Ty at some point. Ty himself looked torn between a desire to stay and a yearning for his home. He looked socially exhausted, like he needed some time to recuperate in solitude.

That's just what he did when they got back to L.A. The Blackthorns and Emma were waiting expectantly, but Ty dodged past them and retreated to his room.

"Is he alright?" Mark asked, and Livvy nodded.

"He's great, just really drained."

"Hibernation?" Julian guessed.

"Definitely," Livvy nodded.

"I'll get supplies," Emma said, and left with Julian to the kitchen.

"What's hibernation?" Kit asked to no one in particular.

"It's what Julian calls Ty's quiet time," Tavvy answered, attempting to do a cat's cradle alone. He seemed a little tangled and gave Mark a sad look. "Help," he said shortly, and Mark laughed, bending down to unravel the string from his little brother's fingers. Kit gave Dru a questioning look.

"After really intense days, Ty goes into hibernation," she explained. "If he's met loads of new people, had to do a lot of socialising, been in a really busy place or whatever, he goes to his room afterward and we have to leave him alone. We can talk to when he comes out but Julian says we aren't allowed to disturb him."

"And he gets to have food in his room like Uncle Arthur does. It's a special rule and it's not usually allowed because if you leave food in your room it attracts bugs and human food is like candy to bugs and so loads come because their favourite food is animal crackers," Tavvy told Kit.

"That's not exactly a deterrent for Ty. He loves bugs. Plus," she added, laughing. "I'm not entirely convinced on the science behind bugs liking animal crackers, Tavs."

"Uh huh! Julian said so!" Tavvy insisted, wide-eyed.

"Doesn't he get bored all by himself?" Kit asked.

Dru shrugged. "Not really. He's Ty. He likes being on his own. Even when we were little he didn't mind playing by himself. He didn't want to play our pretend games anyway, just liked lining up all his toy cars under the tables. He could stay up there for hours at a time without talking to anyone and he'd be perfectly happy."

"I don't think I'd like that," Kit frowned, and Mark nodded.

"I doubt I would either," he agreed. Dru considered for a moment.

"I don't think I'd mind too much. I've got my movies in my room. That's a couple of hours at least."

"Well, I'm going to go and have a bath," Livvy said. "Bubbles, oils, the works. I've earned it."

"You went and hung out with Izzy all day!" Kit laughed, and she stuck her tongue out at him from between her glossy pink lips. Then she turned and headed upstairs.

Kit left not long after to catch up with Julian and Emma in the kitchen. He put his head around the door and knocked on the wall. Julian turned.

"Hey, Kit. What's up?"

"Did you want me to take Ty's food up? I was just head up to have a shower anyway."

"Sure. Thank you," Julian said. "I'll just go and get a drink for him and stuff. Do you want a snack?"

"I'm good," Kit said, and sat down at the table. He rested his cheek on the table and watched Emma and Julian. She was loading bowls and plates he'd filled onto a tray. Jules poured a glass of juice, added it to the rest of the supplies, and put it on the table before Kit.

"Thanks," Julian said as Kit stood up, balancing the tray so it rested evenly on his hands as he left. Sometimes, Kit wondered what Julian and Emma talked about, if they had a life outside the kids. He supposed they must; they were best friends after all. It was hard to remember sometimes that Julian and Emma were only a couple of years older than him. They seemed so grown up and responsible. Kit had always believed he was streetwise and astute enough to survive on his own if he had to. Now he wasn't so sure.

Kit put the tray down outside Ty's door, knocked, and sat down against the wall. It reminded him of the very first days he'd moved in here when Ty would sleep outside his door. He had to admit, he missed it a little. Admittedly, Kit did prefer Ty falling asleep next to him, curled into a ball facing away from him. But there was a nice nostalgia in thinking about what they used to be like, what the two of them were like before they'd grown close. It was like with Livvy. The first proper interaction he remembered having with Livvy was her threatening to kill him if he hurt Ty. Hurt him again. It still made Kit's stomach turn remembering the day the two of them had gone to Kit's old house and been attacked by the demon in the taxi. It was the first time he'd seen Ty have a meltdown, the first time his brain had gone, 'Oh, Ty is autistic.' He still felt bad about that day, still remembered Emma telling him to be quiet while Julian tried to calm him down. He liked Ty. He'd always liked Ty. Everything he'd ever done wrong to Ty still hurt him. Kit had been brought up by his father to believe that it didn't matter who you hurt and cheated to get ahead. Something had happened during his time with the Blackthorns; he'd realised that not everything his father had believed had been particularly reliable or morally-upstanding. He still sometimes felt the anger that had been bred in him by his father and his childhood of a new school every year. He was so different now. He wasn't sure he entirely minded that fact either.

"Kit?"

He looked up and saw Ty with his head around the bedroom door. It sounded as if he might have been talking to Kit for a while and he hadn't replied.

"Um, I remembered when I first got here and Livvy told you not to bring me any food but you did anyway. You said some rules needed to change sometimes," Kit explained. "I thought I'd return the favour."

Ty gave him a small smile, took the tray, and went back into his room. He didn't shut the door behind him though, so Kit talked tentatively into the room. Ty was laid face down on his bed, under the duvet, with the light off. Kit drew his curtains too and then lay down on the rug on Ty's floor, laying the pillow from Ty' chair down under his head. Ty didn't say anything for a long time. When he finally did speak, Kit turned to listen to the voice that was muffled by bedcovers.

"I don't want to talk."

"I gathered," Kit said, amused. "The not talking was a bit of a tip off."

Ty was silent for so long that Kit thought he might have fallen asleep. Then, eventually, he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Kit rolled over onto his side to face Ty, puzzled. "Why?"

"I didn't think about why you might not want to see the body. I just thought about the fact I wanted you there. I forgot about the girl on the beach, how you held her hand. I didn't forget altogether, but I did in that moment. So I'm sorry."

"Do you mind if I come and lay next to you?" Kit asked, and the sound of the bedsprings moving told Kit that Ty had moved over to give him somewhere to sit. It was dark, even in the early evening. The days were getting shorter, the dark now encroaching on the sunlight hours and refusing to leave in the morning. Besides, Ty's dark curtains were refusing entry to any significant amount of light from outside. Kit felt his way over to the bed and lay down carefully.

"You scared me a little bit earlier," Kit admitted. "I don't know. The way you moved around that body, like it was so normal. It was kind of…"

"Jarring?" Ty suggested. "Disconcerting?"

"A little, yeah," he confessed. "It just scared me. You were so…methodical. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes," Ty said quietly. His head was still under his comforter and his face was pressed to the mattress. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm not…it wasn't like that."

"Tibs, I'm not saying it was like anything," Kit assured him, settling himself on his back. "We need people who can do that."

"I _was_ sad," Ty said, frustrated. "I just didn't _look_ sad. Being sad and looking sad aren't the same thing."

"Oh, believe me, I know," Kit sighed, thinking back on his life, on his fifteen years of pretending he was angry rather than sad, rather than scared.

"I know. That's why I asked for you," Ty said. "That's why I let you into my room just now."

"Yeah, thank you for that," Kit said softly. "I've heard about your hibernation. Sorry I'm kind of ruining it by talking."

Ty shook his head. "I don't want to talk anymore though," he said, sounding slightly guilty. He rolled over and curled up behind Kit, his chest flush to Kit's back, his arms around the boy's waist. Kit tried to keep breathing. He could feel himself breathing. "I love you," Ty mumbled into Kit's shirt. Kit felt his breath stop for a moment, then stutter out.

"I…I love you too," he said. Every inch of his body was prickling, and he knew Ty could feel his diaphragm as he breathed shakily. He could feel Ty's nose pressing against his shoulder and smiled. "I love you too," he confirmed, and relaxed back into Ty's arms. He wasn't sure how long he laid there with a racing heart until he fell asleep, but he didn't wake up – didn't dare move – until morning.


	12. Chapter 12

"Kit, Kit, Kit, Kit, Kit, Kit, Kit!"

He blinked open bleary eyes and gave a breathless pant as Livvy jumped up onto his bed, one knee either side of his chest. He wondered if she knew how alike she and her twin were, how he'd done exactly the same thing to wake Kit up so long ago.

"Yes?" he wheezed.

"Hey, firstly, cut that out. I'm not that heavy," she said and he laughed.

"Livvy, I think having a person of any size throw themselves on your chest will take your breath away."

"I take your breath away?" Livvy asked, swooning across him in mock-flirtation. "Wait until I tell Ty."

She gave a little gasp. "Maybe we shouldn't be Parabatai then. I don't want us to have…urges."

He gave a little desolate wail and shoved her off him. "Livvy, no, that whole conversation still haunts me," he shuddered.

She rolled off him and laid down next to him on his bed. "Are you excited to become Parabatai?"

"Being bonded to you forever?" He shook his head. "Oh no, that's too much Blackthorn." She gave him a playful punch in the shoulder and he writhed away from her. "I surrender! I'm sorry! You can never have too much Blackthorn!"

"That's better," she grinned.

Now at the end of October, summer had fully given way to a crisp Fall that brought bitter winds and bracing waves that lapped at the shore of the beach. From his room, Kit could hear the thrash of water against rocks at night. The whole ocean sounded angry. Today though, everything was calm. Kit took this as a sign the world approved of them becoming Parabatai.

"I'm surprised Julian hasn't come to wake us up and drill into us how perfectly we have to act in front of the Clave witnesses," Livvy grinned. On cue, there was a knock on his door.

"We only have two hours before we have to set off," Julian called, sounding frayed.

"It takes at least that long for Kit to do his hair," Livvy giggled, and Kit punched her lightly, making her laugh harder.

"Come on," Julian said, knocking again – more insistently this time. "We have to get breakfast, and everyone needs to get ready."

"Okay, okay. We're coming. Hang on," Livvy sighed, scrambling to her feet and flinging Kit's comforter off mercilessly. He shivered, giving a yelp of surprise at the sudden cold. "Motivation to get up," she explained, and Kit glared at her grin. "I'm gonna go see Dru," Livvy announced, leaving in a whirlwind of excitement.

Kit laid flat on his back, splayed out like a starfish. Today would be hectic. Julian was stressed, Kit was stressed, Ty would be stressed. Livvy, however, converted stress into excitement. Kit just translated it into boundless adrenaline. Ty didn't do excitement or adrenaline. Ty did planning. Kit walked into his room to see the boy laid on the floor on his stomach, paper around him like some kind of study session.

"What is this?" Kit asked, sitting down on the bed.

"I'm planning to make sure everything goes smoothly today. Every prospective problem is accounted for and has a written solution. I have plastic wallets for all the final plans," Ty said quickly, words falling over one another.

"You know, in the mundane world, people pay good money for people to do stuff like this for weddings?"

"I did it for Helen and Aline for free," Ty pointed out.

"You should've made a profit," Kit laughed. Ty's hands were running under the lines of writing, muttering under his breath. Kit slid off the bed and sat down beside him, putting his hands on Ty's shoulders and pressing down, applying pressure. Ty relaxed and leaned his head back against Kit's chest happily. "I'm really nervous," Kit admitted, and Ty turned to look at him.

"It's okay. Livvy is the best Parabatai anyone could have."

Kit gave him a crooked smile. "And you're sure you don't want to be her Parabatai? Last chance."

Ty shook his head. "We want different things and it wouldn't be fair. It's not fair on her to have a fighting partner who doesn't intend to spend their life fighting."

Kit nodded. "That's kind."

Ty shrugged. "I love her. I want to do what's best for her. I know you'll make her happy."

"This…this doesn't change anything, you know?" Kit clarified, but he sounded a little like he was seeking reassurance himself. "It doesn't change anything between us that Livvy and I are Parabatai. I don't…this doesn't mean I prefer her."

Ty nodded, turning around to face Kit properly. He looked at him, holding eye contact. That was happening more and more as of late, that Ty would make eye contact, that Ty would make eye contact with Kit. He'd even started doing it with other people. The first time he'd had a whole conversation with Julian whilst maintaining eye contact, Kit had thought Jules might cry. He'd dragged Ty into a hug and Ty had hugged him back quickly before retreating, disliking the fuss.

"I know," Ty said quietly. "It's even now. Livvy and I are twins, you and Livvy are Parabatai, and you and I are…" he trailed off, blushing. "We all have an important connection to one another now." Kit nodded. "You should get ready. It's on the schedule I made for now," Ty said, and Kit agreed, getting to his feet and holding the door.

"I guess that's my cue for leave," Kit laughed amusedly.

"You have forty five minutes," Ty prompted, and Kit gave a wave of assent as he went to get dressed.

"Wow."

Ty flushed and rubbed his neck in pleased embarrassment. Kit was looking at him, wondering why Ty didn't wear a suit twenty-four a day, seven days a week. Ty in a suit was like a lake in a desert. His hair was combed out, long locks of floppy hair that needed cutting brushing the band of his headphones around his neck. Affixed to one lapel was a silver bee pin. Ty touched a hand to it self-consciously when he saw Kit looking.

"What?"

"No, it…it looks great," Kit said, stumbling over his words a little. Ty in a suit made him feel a little tongue-tied. He could feel himself starting to blush now, and Ty gave a shy smile.

"You look nice," he said, and Kit made a vague dismissive snort of dismissal.

"You two about done?"

The boys turned to see Livvy, coming down the stairs like something out of the cheesy rom-coms she loved, where the girl descended the staircase in her prom dress looking like a million bucks – at least that's what Livvy said they looked like; Ty just thought she looked pretty and wasn't sure what that had to do with money. She was wearing a long black dress that brushed her ankles and her bangs were curled to make them look professionally messy.

"You look like Izzy," Ty said and Livvy beamed, dancing to the bottom of the staircase and up to the two boys.

"Do I? Mission accomplished," Livvy grinned. "Break up the weird compliment 'oh wow you look so good' fest. The others are about ready." Kit shoved her affectionately in the shoulder and Livvy shot him a devilish look. "Even in heels, I could knock you flat on your pretty Herondale butt."

"Touché," he laughed.

"It's pronounced tush," Livvy countered and the two of them laughed, Ty casting them both despairing looks.

"You all look most dapper," Mark said, appearing behind them in that odd way he did. No one ever heard him coming; he was like a ghost.

"As do you, fair brother," Livvy said with a curtsey that made Mark's eyebrows knit in confusion. Ty and Livvy exchanged a mischievous look. They'd been confusing their siblings their whole life; it was their favourite game.

"No fur coat this time?" Ty asked innocently and Livvy cracked up, eyes crinkling with laughter. No one would ever let Mark live down the time he'd believed the twins when they informed him that a huge fur coat – and just a fur coat – was completely acceptable formal attire. Julian claimed he was still traumatised. Emma claimed she was just jealous Mark had better legs than her.

Dru appeared not long after with Tavvy in tow, both dressed in their smartest clothes. Dru was wearing a too-small black dress that was a couple of years old. Unlike Emma and Livvy, she didn't really care enough about fashion to buy a new formal dress every time she went to a party. Tavvy was tugging at the tie around his neck, and Dru had to stop every few steps to fix it. Mark, Emma, and Julian weren't long after, and they all congregated in the foyer to head off to Idris for the ceremony. Kit was mumbling the Parabatai vow under his breath, trying to get it to stick in his head. The closer the ceremony got, the more it slipped from his mind, the nerves teasing him cruelly. Ty put a hand out and squeezed Kit's arm quickly in support.

"Okay, let's get going," Julian said calmly. That was the thing about Julian; he might panic about everything, but he was always a perfect model of comforting calmness when everyone else was stressed. "Livvy, Kit? You both ready?" They exchanged a look, nodding, and Emma gave a happy clap of excitement. Julian laughed. "Okay, we'd better head off then."

One by one, they stepped into the portal until just Kit, Ty, and Julian were left. Kit was staring at the portal, not moving. Ty gave Julian a quick glance and jerked his head to the side, signalling for Julian to leave them for a moment. Julian turned away and Ty took Kit's hand.

"It's okay," Ty said, linking his fingers in Kit's. "The more you do it, the less sick it'll make you feel."

"It's not just that. It's this whole thing. The whole Parabatai thing. I…I don't know what I'm doing," Kit whispered.

"That's okay. I do." Ty replied, squeezing Kit's hand. "Just trust me."

"What if Livvy changes her mind?"

"She won't. And…and she'd be stupid to anyway because you're…" Ty glanced back briefly at Julian, who was leaning against a pillar and badly pretending not to be interested in the two younger boys. "Brilliant."

Ty said something Julian couldn't hear into Kit's ear that made him smile and he let Ty tug him into the portal. Julian watched them go, ready to close up the portal behind him. It was like a spell. Ty could whisper some magic words into Kit's ear and give him some immense wave of confidence. A few months ago, Ty would never have instinctively known what Kit needed, what was wrong. If he was half as good for Livvy as he'd been for her twin, Julian had no qualms about the two of them being Parabatai.

The hall where Livvy and Kit's Parabatai ceremony was taking place was crowded. Julian was mingling and Emma had immediately thrown herself at Cristina, who had taken some time out of her trip home to be there for the ceremony. All of the gang from New York were there, and Izzy had captured the attention of both soon-to-be Parabatai. Kit shot Ty a furtive look at Ty, who was sat against a pillar, and Ty rolled his eyes amusedly. Kit understood why Livvy wanted to be like Isabelle; she was awesome. And attractive as well. But Kit wasn't sure why Livvy wouldn't want to just be like Livvy. She was attracting a fair amount of attention herself and holding social court like it was second nature. Kit was beside her, as felt appropriate for her future Parabatai, but he felt a little out of place. In a crowd of so many Nephilim, he was a little unsure of how to talk to them. Ty had put his book down and was suppressing jealous looks at Julian, Emma, and Livvy for their social ease. Kit gave Ty a wave over. He raised an eyebrow at Kit, shaking his head, but Kit persevered happily. Ty got to his feet and joined them, shifting on his feet uncomfortably. He could feel his hands flapping anxiously and he squeezed them into fists when he saw the others in the group looking.

"This is Ty, my twin," Livvy said proudly, giving his arm a quick squeeze. "He's the brains."

"She's the beauty," Ty said, with a small smile, keeping his eyes toward the ground. The circle of Shadowhunters their age all laughed and Livvy gave Ty a pleased little nudge.

"Do you two want to come with us to grab some punch before the ceremony?" one of the girls grinned, looking between Livvy and Kit. She glanced at Ty, who flicked his eyes away from hers uncomfortably. "Some Dutch courage will shake those nerves."

"Can Ty come?" Livvy asked. The circle exchanged looks.

"Uh, sure," the girl shrugged.

Ty gave Livvy a microscopic shake of his head. "We're good thanks," Livvy smiled, and took Kit and Ty each by a hand and dragged them away. It had always been this way. When they went to Clave parties or meetings and they had to socialise, Livvy stuck by her twin's side. Ty remembered once Livvy had punched a girl in the face for calling Ty a freak. Helen had dragged her out of there and their father had grounded her. When she explained, Andrew had caved and just told her not to do anything like that again – unless she had good reason to.

Kit bagged them one of the tables that was set up around the room, laid with black cloths and silver cutlery. Kit laid his head down on the table top and sighed. However, they'd barely been sat down a couple of minutes before a familiar figure drew up to their table, casting a tall shadowy silhouette on the white tablecloth.

"Hey, Magnus," Livvy said, and Kit sat up to give the warlock a nod of greeting.

"Hello, Parabatai-to-be," Magnus said, and turned to Ty. "And to you, detective Blackthorn." Ty laughed happily. "Right, I'm sorry to bother you all, but I must borrow you two," the warlock went on, nodding to Livvy and Kit. "Last minute Parabatai business and all."

Livvy cast Ty a quick look. "Can Ty come too?"

"Sadly not. Strictly confidential between Parabatai," Magnus said, and watched Ty give Livvy a little smile, waving her away, and Magnus spoke again. "Um, actually Ty, can you come with us? I think Alec wanted to talk to you, but he's over with the kids. Do you mind coming with us? He'd come and find you, but he's got his hands a bit full with Rafe and Max."

Ty nodded enthusiastically, standing up and looping his headphones over his neck. When they got over to Alec, Magnus smiled down at his boyfriend.

"Ty is here. I was telling him you wanted to talk to him about coming back to us in New York next week for that meeting." Alec nodded, immediately understanding, and patted the chair next to him invitingly. "Well, I should whisk these two off for the Parabatai discussion. I'll be back soon," Magnus said, dropping a kiss onto both his sons' heads and then Alec's, who blushed a rosy pink colour and laughed. Kit wondered how long it took for that affection to become easy and to ignore glances from the more conservative Clave members. Alec sat with Max on his lap and Rafael nuzzling into his father's silky suit jacket. Alec leaned in to talk to Ty when Livvy cast one look back before the door closed behind them and they entered the hallway. Magnus ushered them into a parlour room and they took seats together on the sofa while Magnus went over to a teacart.

"How do you take your tea?" he asked, and Livvy and Kit exchanged looks, shrugging.

"Milk and two sugars," Livvy said eventually, sounding sure – though her uncertain grin at Kit said otherwise.

"I'll have the same," Kit added.

"Copycat," Livvy whispered, giggling. "Copy-Kit."

Magnus had his back to them but they could see his hands moving, brewing and steeping the tea in a pot that made Kit feel like something out of Ty's Sherlock Holmes stories. In a couple of minutes, Magnus presented them on saucers, laying them on the coffee table before them.

"I'm just going to grab the Silent Brother who's going to be leading your ceremony to let him know you're ready to be debriefed. Please, drink up. It'll make you feel better. You're both white as sheets."

He gave them a comforting smile as he went, a flicker of something in his eyes. Kit couldn't figure out what is. Sadness? Or…guilt? He shook it away. Most likely, it was that he felt bad they were both nervous. "It'll be okay," Magnus added kindly. "You'll be celebrating with your family before you know it."

Livvy picked up her teacup as the door clicked shut behind Magnus. She stared down at the liquid inside for a while before she glanced back at Kit.

"I don't actually like tea," she admitted.

"Me either," he replied.

"It seems rude not to have any," Livvy sighed, and took a sip, then a longer drink. Kit lifted his cup and did likewise. It was so dainty, the little handle so fragile. But when it slid from his hand and hit the floor, he didn't even hear it smash.

Kit woke up on the floor of the Institute training room, feeling dizzy and confused. He vaguely understood that he'd fallen asleep in Idris and woke up in Los Angeles, but he wasn't sure how or why. He dragged himself to his feet and went out into the hall, shutting the door behind him. However, the second the door closed, Kit's world shifted. From behind the door he'd just shut, into the room he'd just left perfectly normally, a blood-curdling screech wrought the air. From a distance, Kit heard the shouts of terror. It sounded like it was coming from outside. He ran to the window and looked out, looking at all the Blackthorns yelling up at him. No, at the window next to him. In his panic, he still managed to count them all. Emma, Julian, Mark, Ty, Dru, Tavvy…Livvy? Where was Livvy? He turned to the training room door and the scream came again.

"KIT!" Livvy cried, and Kit's heart sank. He threw open the training room door open and shrank back. This wasn't the training room. At least, it wasn't the training room Kit had just been in a couple of moments ago. A raging inferno had engulfed the space, flames high enough to lick the wooden beams of the ceiling Ty had laid on to tie up the punching bag he made Kit. How could this have happened? He'd just been in here and it was fine. Then he remembered. Livvy. He immediately spun to try and find Livvy, but everything around him was enveloped in smoke and fire.

"Livvy!" Kit cried, eyes watering with the smoke.

The wall of flame grew higher at his voice, and Kit braced himself, plunging through. All logic screamed at him to escape; but all logic didn't take Livvy into account. She was lying, eyes closed, under a fallen beam, trapped and breathing thickly. Through the smoke, Kit could only just see her. But he could. Just. He could always see her. Fire snatched at his clothes and he went to apply a Fireproof rune that dissolved ineffectually on his skin the second he finished drawing it. Already, he could feel the exposed skin on his hands and face beginning to blister. He gritted his teeth and called out Livvy's name, gulping in smoky air that caught in his lungs and made him choke. Her only response was a weak cough that, if anything, only scared Kit more. He surged forward toward her, only stopping when a creak wrought the air above him. He looked up in time to see one of the rafters burn and splinter away from its supports and threw himself back in time to not be crushed. He vaulted the beam as it fell to rest and stopped. Crouched before Livvy, guarding her from Kit, was a man. He was familiar, and it took Kit only a heartbeat to realise why.

"Dad?" he whispered.

Johnny was quiet, but the boy knew he was right. Here was the father he saw murdered before his eyes. He felt sick.

"I need…I need to get to Livvy! Dad, let me past! That's my Parabatai!"

The name 'dad' sounded ugly in Kit's mouth. Johnny had never been any kind of real father to him. Julian had been more of a dad to him than Johnny was. This was the man who had lied to Kit his whole life, who never let him be the Shadowhunter he was, who brought him up to believe that the people he loved most – Ty, Livvy, their siblings – were monsters. He ran toward his father, trying to push past. Johnny caught him, pulling him roughly back, throwing him to the ground. As his back struck the floor, the wooden boards shattered beneath him. He screamed, throwing out his hands. A sob rose in his throat, and his father sneered.

"You are a disgrace," he spat, making Kit flinch. "No some of mine goes running to Shadowhunters when times get tough. A son of mine is tough enough to stick them out. You are not the man I brought you up to be. They've brainwashed you. You've always been a failure, but at least before you weren't a coward."

Kit's fingers tightened on the wood, voice just as splintered. "I need to get to Livvy!"

" _Do not cry_!" Johnny yelled, and Kit hid his face as his father turned away. "I'm so ashamed of you. I have no child. You are _no_ son of mine!"

"Maybe not," Kit said, so quietly, voice raw with smoke and choked-back tears, that Johnny didn't even hear. "But I _am_ her Parabatai."

This man, his father or not, could kill Livvy. He yanked himself up and wriggled through the hole in the floorboards he clung to, pulling himself into the training room that was roaring with flame. His hands were stuck with splinters, clothes torn by jagged wooden edges. The man – he refused to call him Johnny, let alone 'dad' – had resumed his position in front of Livvy.

"Move," Kit demanded. His voice was hard, even though tears ran down his cheeks and cut tracks through the ashy soot covering his face. The man stared at him, grinning mockingly. Kit's fury surged. "Move or I swear to God I'll kill you," Kit shouted.

He pulled a dagger from his belt, a dagger he didn't remember putting there when he was getting ready, and raised the weapon. When the man cast Kit one last look, then took a step forward toward Livvy, Kit lunged forward and plunged the blade into the man's back. He collapsed to the ground, looking so like Kit himself that he started sobbing. He ignored the body, pushed the beam off of Livvy with a strength he didn't know he possessed. However, as the beam fell beside her and she turned to look at Kit, her eyes widened in fear. Her mouth formed his name as the ground splintered beneath her, engulfing her in flames and a cacophony of cracking and crackling, making it look like she was being dragged into the fiery pits of Hell.

"NO!" Kit yelled, reaching for her hands. Her fingers slipped from his, and she fell. He didn't hear her hit the ground. He didn't even hear the floor beneath him burn and break away, only felt the stomach-churning falling sensation. He wasn't sure how far through the fall he lost consciousness. He wasn't sure he cared. Livvy was dead. What did it matter that he lived anymore?

Kit jerked awake like he was coming out of a dream where he was falling. He couldn't breathe. Where was she?

"Livvy?" he croaked breathlessly.

"Whoa, whoa. Hang on. Let's take it slowly." Magnus put a hand on Kit's back, supporting him. "She's okay. You're okay. It was a test, an illusion."

Kit was furious. He turned to glare at Magnus, who gave Kit a soothing, apologetic smile. He helped Kit to his feet and settled him on the sofa. Kit was puzzled. He was sure he'd been on the sofa. How had he ended up on the floor?

"Okay, have a glass of water," Magnus said, and Kit gave him a suspicious. "It isn't going to give you horrible dreams. I promise."

Kit took a sip and Magnus gave him a sympathetic squeeze of the shoulder.

"I'll go and grab Livvy and your Silent Brother. Drink up. Have a cookie from the plate on the side if you like. They're chocolate chip. Alec and I baked them earlier. We managed to save them before Max and Rafael could get their hands on them and eat the lot."

With that, Magnus disappeared down the hall, leaving Kit to slouch back against the sofa, finally relaxing for what felt like the first time in hours. Though the whole illusion of the fire couldn't have lasted long, he was exhausted. It felt like he'd run a marathon. Kit could still feel tears clinging to his eyelashes and rubbed them away fiercely as he heard footsteps outside the door. It was bad enough that Magnus had seen him like that. He wasn't about to let this Silent Brother think him weak. However, when the Silent Brother walked in, followed by Magnus and Livvy, Kit started. He didn't look like any person Kit had seen before. Angry-looking runes slashed his cheekbones, and his eyes were turned to the floor so they looked as if they were permanently closed. Then Kit remembered where he knew the man from; the Shadow Market, so long ago. He'd been accompanied by a brown-haired girl.

"Kit," a voice said, and it had the lilting tone of an age gone by. "My name is Jem. I will be performing your Parabatai ceremony."

"You…you don't look like the drawings I've seen of Silent Brothers," Kit commented, and Jem smiled.

"I am technically a retired Silent Brother. But it was a kind of favour to one of your ancestors. He meant a great deal to me. I thought I should reprise my role one last time in his honour."

He moved forward, his motions ethereal. It was somewhere between a glide and a step. When he got close to Kit, he beheld the boy with a sadness that was tinged with nostalgia. Kit raised his eyes to look at Jem as the man lifted his own gaze, letting Kit see his dark eyes streaked with lines of silver. Kit drew in a breath at almost the exact same moment Jem did.

"You have his eyes," Jem said quietly, and smiled a delicate smile that made Kit's heart ache with a loss that was not his. Jem took a deep breath and straightened up, turning to Livvy. "My apologies, Livia. Please, have a seat. We must discuss what happened."

"Gladly," Livvy laughed shakily. It wasn't a laugh of amusement but one of someone to deny fear from her voice. "What was that?" she said, turning accusingly to Magnus. "What did you do to us? None of that was real, right?"

"Correct. It was an illusion," Jem said, pouring Livvy a glass of water and offering her a plate of cookies. She took the glass and a cookie, keeping her eyes on Jem. "The test of the waters."

"The waters?" Livvy asked.

"Of Lake Lynn," Magnus elaborated and Livvy's mouth fell open.

"The water of Lake Lynn is dangerous! You can't disrupt the mirror! It could have killed us!"

Kit almost choked on his drink. "We could have what?" he coughed.

"We were monitoring you very closely," Jem assured them in his even, calm voice. "You were never in any real danger. You are – and always were – most safe. Now, let us know what you saw in your illusions."

"I…I don't want to," Kit said, turning his gaze to his feet. "It's stupid. It wasn't real anyway."

"It felt real, did it not?" Jem pointed out, and Livvy reached a hand out and stroked Kit's hand in the same way she did to Ty when he was stressed. He caught at her and interlinked their fingers as she began to talk.

"I…I was in the training room. There was a scream out in the hall, but when the door closed, I heard Kit calling out inside. When I went back in, the whole place was in flames. I…Kit was trapped and Uncle Arthur was there. I killed…" she broke off, choked, before composing herself enough to continue. "I killed my uncle. I killed him to save Kit."

"Same here," was all Kit could manage. "I killed my dad." He squeezed Livvy's hand and she returned the gesture empathetically.

"Well, I am pleased to tell you that you have proven yourself worthy Parabatai to one another. After this, the ceremony will not feel quite so frightening. It will be a welcome relief, I should expect." Jem smiled sympathetically. "Would you like a moment alone, or are you ready now?"

Kit gave Livvy a quick look and she nodded.

"We're ready," he said, and pulled Livvy to her feet by their joined hands. They didn't break apart as they left the room, as they entered the hall; they only parted when they stepped into their respective circles opposite each other in the main hall before the gathered crowd.

"Christopher Herondale, Livia Blackthorn," Jem said, acknowledging them solemnly. "Do you accept the weight of the Angel's burden and honour in the ceremony of becoming Parabatai?"

"Yes," they said at the same time, and exchanged quick smiles from inside their separate circles.

"Do you swear to uphold the values set by the Angel's Parabatai, Jonathan Shadowhunter and David the Silent?"

"Yes."

"And do you swear to one another never to break your bond, to love each other always with the power of the Angel's bond within you until death do you part? Your bond is a sacred one, never to be frayed, broken, or compromised. Do you accept these terms and vow to adhere to them?"

"Yes."

Kit heard the conviction in Livvy's voice and hoped she heard the passion in his own reply.

"Speak your vows, and then join your Parabatai in the centre circle to place the sacred runes upon one another's flesh," Jem said, and stepped back from the middle circle. The rings on the floor began to burn with an amber glow like lava.

Kit had spent all morning perfecting his vows, sure he'd get them wrong. When they began speaking, however, he didn't stumble.

 _"_ _Entreat me not to leave thee,_

 _Or return from following after thee—_

 _For whither thou goest, I will go,_

 _And where thou lodgest, I will lodge._

 _Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God._

 _Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried._

 _The Angel do so to me, and more also,_

 _If aught but death part thee and me."_

The two of them stepped forward together and met in the middle circle. All around them, a wall of fire flared and grew. Kit saw the panic in Livvy's eyes, saw his own same fear reflected in her pupils. Who could blame them, after all, with the nature of their water trial? Nevertheless, Livvy's hand was steady as she poised her stele. Kit bore his waist to her, lifting his shirt carefully, and she drew the mark clearly and cleanly against his skin. She pushed down the strap of her dress on one side, displaying the canvas of unmarked skin of her shoulder for him to mark. He drew the rune as perfectly as he'd ever practised it and she tugged her dress back into place. The fire died down and Livvy flung herself into Kit's arms, making him stagger back. She was squeezing him so tightly he felt as if they might be squashed into one person. He supposed, now they were Parabatai, they almost were a single entity.

It felt like milliseconds before Livvy was running away to show Ty her rune, practically dancing across the hall to her twin in excitement. Ty's own hands were moving frantically at his sides with uncontainable emotion. Kit beamed. It wasn't often Ty would do that in public – only when he was uncontrollably nervous or excited. Kit could guess which it was from the grin on his face. Jem gave Kit a little push, nudging him toward the Blackthorns.

"Go," Jem said softly, kindly. He bent down to Kit to speak gently in his ear, a hand resting on the boy's shoulder. "Be with your family."

Kit gave him a quick smile and then ran after Livvy into the fray. She'd turned away from her twin and to Julian, the rest of her family crowding around her, enveloping her in the signature hurricane of Blackthorn enthusiasm. All except Ty, who was watching Kit. They'd celebrated Kit's birthday since he'd arrived at the Institute – it didn't seem to be a big deal in the Shadow world. That was okay; it was never a big deal at home with his dad either – but even though he was technically older than Ty, he was still the shorter of the two of them. He had to tilt his head a little to look up at Ty, who pulled him into a hug so tight Kit could feel the material of his blazer bunching where Ty hung on. Ty was resting his head on Kit's shoulder, his cheek pressed into the softness of his shoulder-pad. Kit could hear the muted but undeniably happy noises Ty was making, that he had become so used to. Over Ty's shoulder, he could see most of the attendees were occupied with Livvy. Three faces seemed, however, to be watching the two boys; Jem, Magnus, and Alec. Kit blushed and buried his face in Ty's lapel. Let the moment last a little longer, Kit decided. Few moments in life were as content as this.


	13. Epilogue

"They're going to be here soon," Ty said, sounding agitated.

His hands were working quickly at his sides and he was rocking from the heels to the balls of his feet. Kit, sat on Ty's bed, watching, stood up and stepped before him. Ty took a deep breath and Kit smiled.

"You know it makes me feel even shorter when you stand on your toes like that, right?" he joked.

Ty smiled a little and Kit reached over to take Ty's hands in his, rubbing his cool, pale fingers firmly. Ty breathed out, and Kit touched his shoulder softly. A single curl stuck out from Tiberius's well-smoothed hair (courtesy of Livvy).

"May I?" Kit asked, and Ty nodded, allowing Kit to reach up and carefully tuck the wisp of hair behind the boy's ear. "Perfect," he said, and Ty blushed. The pink drained quickly from his face when he saw the time on his phone.

"They're going to be here soon," he repeated anxiously.

He caught Kit's eye and Kit could see the fear behind the grey irises. Kit was reminded – as he so often was when being granted the pleasure of looking Ty in the eye – of the time when Kit had run away on the beach for fear that Ty would know he was crying. For a while after that, the privilege of being one of the few people Ty would properly looked at had been revoked, and Kit had been furious with himself for ruining something that fragile and special. Even then, he'd wondered how much worse the Institute would've been without the respite of Ty's grey eyes. Of course, he'd earned that trust back, slowly but surely, but he was ever careful now not to take it for granted.

"I'm scared," Ty admitted, and Kit shook his head.

"You don't need to be. You've done the hard bit. You found the demon, did the research, went on an interstate trip to find the only book with the information you needed on it. This is the easy part now," Kit assured him. "Now you just need to go out there and show up some Clave members by being way smarter than them at half their age. And," he added firmly. "Make those Scholomance assholes sorry they ever doubted you."

From downstairs, the doorbell rang, and Kit gave Ty a reassuring nod.

"Knock 'em dead," Kit said, then amended himself quickly. "I mean, go and do an amazing job."

Ty nodded and let Kit give him a quick and encouraging kiss on the cheek. As he did, Mark opened the door, making the boys draw swiftly and embarrassedly apart. Ty spun and slipped past his older brother quickly. Mark gave Kit an amused sideways look before beckoning the boy after him.

"It wasn't…" Kit began.

"Jia Penhallow is here. And," Mark added excitedly. "So are Helen and Aline."

"No way!" Kit exclaimed. He'd heard so much about the couple, though he'd never met them because of their exile. He was hugely excited to meet them, though evidently not as much as Mark, who hurried off down the hall, Kit close behind. He could still feel his cheeks burning, and he was unbelievably grateful Mark hadn't made a fuss. Thankfully, the eldest Blackthorn child was here with her wife, their unannounced arrival creating quite the convenient distraction.

All the Blackthorns were swarming Helen in a huge crowd of love and smothering affection. Kit held back uncomfortably. Even Emma was joining in the crush of happiness. He glanced at the other unfamiliar girl, who he assumed to be Aline, Helen's wife. She walked over to him and stuck a hand out.

"You're Kit, I assume?" she asked. His eyes widened, and she grinned. "Julian sends us letters and keeps us updated."

"Oh…um…" Kit said in discomfort. "What kind of things has he told you?"

"All good stuff," Aline assured him. "We know you're related to Jace, that you and the kids go to the library and train together, that you're really close with Ty." Before Kit could give an awkward laugh, she continued. "And, of course, that you're Livia's parabatai. Congratulations on that, by the way."

Kit smiled. "Thank you."

As he said so, Helen turned and drew him into a warm and familiar hug. Kit was slightly taken aback and stumbled a little as he put his arms around Helen. She smelled of coconut shampoo and old books. The latter reminded him of Ty; the former of Livvy. When she drew back, she was beaming.

"Christopher Herondale," she breathed. "Every time we think the Herondale line ends, another branch of it pops out of nowhere."

"Kit," Julian corrected from over her shoulder. "He prefers Kit."

"Kit," Helen amended. "You're a lucky kid getting to be my Livvy's parabatai."

" _Helen_ ," Livvy blushed, grabbing her around the waist and Helen bent down, kissing her little sister's cheek. It was like she was still ten, like she had been when Helen had left.

"We need to go," Ty said anxiously. "Where's Jia?"

"They're all in the dining room," Emma said, attempting to prise Tavvy away from his big sister. He hardly knew her, but the others' radiating love was clearly contagious, because he clung to her like a koala. Ty froze. The dining hall. They never used the dining hall except for when important meetings happened in their Institute – which was about once every two of three years. And besides…

"All?" Ty repeated shakily.

"Turns out a lot of people are interested in the discovery of a new demon," Emma said. "Especially when it's the first time it's happened in 60 years."

Ty had paled to a peculiar grey-white, like ivory. "How many people?"

Mark and Helen exchanged a look and she nodded.

"150, give or take?" Mark estimated.

Ty looked nauseous. "I don't feel good," he said quietly. Livvy put a hand out to steady him on his shaky legs.

"You'll do great. I can stand with you if you like. Just look at Kit, yeah? Or read from your notes. They're here to hear what you have to say."

"Exactly," Julian said, putting a comforting hand on Ty's arm. "If you need a minute to calm down, that's okay." Ty tugged at Julian's arm and pulled him to the side. "Kit, Livvy, you stay with me and Ty," Julian said calmly. "We'll meet the rest of you in the dining hall in a moment."

The others disappeared out of the room and Julian beckoned Ty over to a sofa, which he sunk onto gratefully. His knees were shaking. Livvy perched on the arm of the chair and Kit stood flanking him on the opposite side, one hand stroking idle circles near the top of Ty's back.

"Right, I know you don't like crowds but there's something else going on. What is it?" Julian asked.

"They don't like me," Ty said quietly. "I'm scared that they won't take me seriously."

"And why wouldn't they?"

"I'm different," Ty said softly. "I'm autistic. They don't like different."

Julian nodded and took Ty's hands in his own ones, which had paint under the nails. "Tiberius, I promise I am telling you the truth, not just trying to make you feel better; I genuinely believe this is the moment you have to worry about that the very least."

"Why?" Ty whispered.

"Because you are in control now," Julian said, squeezing his hands firmly. "I've always helped you to blend in when you were in front of the Clave because they were the ones with the power. But you are who they came to talk to. If you don't want to, you don't have to give them your research. It's them who need to be on their best behaviour, not you. Ty, you can be exactly yourself. You don't need to change for the Clave."

"Like Helen and Aline. Right, Julian?" Livvy put in.

Julian nodded. "Exactly."

Kit looked at Ty. Ty liked control, liked a plan. That was the problem, that he couldn't control what was about to happen in that meeting. There was the solution, Kit realised: they needed to give Ty back control. He understood now why Ty liked solving things so much. There was a sense of satisfaction that came with pitching his solution.

"We need a code," Kit proposed. "If you feel like you're starting to panic, Tibs, or you need to leave or can't think of what to say, you can give us a sign. Then we'll know to help."

"What kind of sign?" Ty asked curiously.

"How about if you drum your fingers, we'll know there's a problem," Kit suggested. Ty nodded.

"That sounds good," he said, and Ty took Kit's hand and squeezed it quickly as they walked out of the room, Livvy and Julian just ahead of them. As they entered the room, hands no longer in one another's, Kit saw why Ty was so anxious. Every seat had a council member in, every wall was lined with shadowhunters. He gave Ty a concerned glance and froze. The Ty from the drawing room was gone, replaced by a boy who looked professional and grown up, in a shirt and sweater. His jaw was set firm and he had a certain air about him that Kit recognised. He was playing a character, Kit realised in fond awe at Ty's eclectic coping strategies. He was pretending to be Sherlock Holmes, who always had the answers, who was never scared. Kit stepped back with the rest of Ty's family as Tiberius took to the only empty seat, at the head of the table.

The table was set for a meeting and Ty took his seat when the collected confidence of his beloved detective. It would be okay. Julian had left his younger brother a glass of water to the right of his place at the table and had stacked his files into alphabetical order – which Livvy had then reshuffled into chronological order, which she knew her twin vastly preferred. He shot a troubled look to Kit, who motioned for him to open the first folder. Ty did so. Inside, on a pale blue index card, was a quote scribbled in Kit's handwriting;

 _'"_ _What one man can invent, another can discover." – Kit.'_

Ty looked up and saw Kit gave him an encouraging nod. It would be okay. He swallowed hard, channelled his inner Holmes, and began to speak.

"I trust you're all here to hear about my research into a newly discovered demon. My proposed agenda for the meeting is threefold; I will present you with an abstract and outline to my research. I will take any questions. Then, lastly, I'll decide who to delegate my research to, who I want on my team," Ty announced. He paused to wait for any protests. When none came, he proceeded. Ty drew out his copy of the Clave report on the demon attack from the day Kit and Ty met the demon for the first time. "We first encountered the demon at hand in a nearby beach cave. It had killed a mundane. From a strategic battle plan, accompanied by Kit Herondale," he added, casting a quick smile at Kit. "We established that the creature was photophobic.

"It disappeared with a high-pitched scream and an explosion of ichor. Though it was made of smoke, it was clearly at least semi-corporeal. It was able to cut Kit in the arm and knocked him out. Due to this effect, I would assume the demon possessed a venom or poison that had some kind of syncopal properties. So, by the end of this mission, that was all the information we had on the demon. It didn't fit the description of any creature in the encyclopaedia daemonica . Thus, we seemed to be at a dead end.

"Academic research led me to a Japanese text called Konjaku Hyanki Shūi," Ty continued. "Which I found in New York with the help of Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane." He glanced up and Alec gave him an encouraging smile from the back of the room. "From that, I found out that the demon is an Enenra, a Japanese demon that, as far as I can tell, has never been spotted outside of its native continent of Asia. It hasn't been documented in our official Nephilim texts in any capacity. Until now that is."

"This is an immense volume of information to take in, Tiberius," the consul, Jia Penhallow, put in. Ty nodded. He knew Jia; talking to her was okay. She was Helen's mother-in-law. He counted the pins on the breast of her red Consul's robes to calm himself before he replied.

"I know. I would hope that if my work is published, any shadowhunter can study these findings at their own pace and apply their own individual knowledge to it in order to further develop the theory I propose."

"The question still stands, Tiberius," a familiar voice put in. Ty looked up and froze. Adelaide Cartwright. The head of the Scholomance. The last time he'd seen her had been in his failed interview, when she'd said they were looking for someone 'more normal'. His heart dropped and then sped up at the memory. "Where do you wish to delegate your research? I assume," she added. "It would be to the Scholomance."

Ty looked lost, panicked, and Kit cast him a quick glance and nodded in earnest encouragement. He mouthed something that took Ty a couple of moments to understand: 'Holmes'. Be Holmes, he realised Kit meant. What would he do? Ty took a deep breath and spoke again.

"And why would you assume that?"

The intake of breath that seemed to have been drawn by the room as a whole was audible. Ty didn't mind. It wasn't like he was going to be a centurion now anyway. That was no longer a realisation that hurt. He kind of felt like he'd avoided something that could've been terrible. As Kit would say, he'd dodged a bullet.

"Well," Adelaide proceeded after a moment of reeling in shock. "We have the elite of the Nephilim's greatest scholars, the most extensive library the shadow world has to offer, and we have published the largest volume of texts that are now staple texts in every institute worldwide."

Ty nodded in agreement. "Exactly. It's elitist. I don't want a research team with such an obvious bias."

He heard Dru smother a laugh from somewhere near the door. The centurions look scandalised. Eventually, Adelaide spoke up.

"I assume this is because you weren't accepted into the program."

Ty glanced across and saw Livvy, Kit, Emma, and Jules all looking as if they were on the verge of leaping up to kill the woman. Ty, however, was composed. He wasn't Ty Blackthorn; he was Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, and nothing could shake his calm. As long as he remembered that, it would be okay.

"You assume a lot of things," Ty pointed out. "And you're correct that this does have something to do with my interview. You said you wanted scholars who were 'more normal' than me. I can't hand my research over to you now. It was discovered by someone who didn't fit your ideals of normal, so I don't trust that your scholars are lateral-minded enough to see the solutions that might not be immediately obvious."

"The Clave then," Jia said, and put her hand out for his notes. He put a hand over his work protectively, shaking his head firmly.

"I don't want to give the Clave sovereignty over my research either. They're no better. The progress of the Clave in diversifying its board is too slow. This demon is risking lives right now; we don't have time to waste waiting for the Clave to revise their views."

This time, Ty wasn't even sure anyone sucked in a breath in horror. Everyone just looked at Jia, who was suppressing a smile.

"What would you have done with your research, Tiberius?" she asked.

"I want to head the research team."

"He's only sixteen!" someone from the Council protested angrily.

"And I was fifteen when I found the demon," Ty said, wincing a little at the noise of the room's hubbub. "I'm not concerned my age will inhibit me in doing what I need to in order to investigate and document this creature."

"This is ridiculous!" said Horace Dearborn, deep voice gruff and rumbling throughout the room. "We cannot leave the investigation of something this important to a child, let alone one like that."

"Like what?" Emma snapped. Julian had paled angrily but he put a hand out to stop her standing. Livvy cast Ty a look. He looked composed, but she could see the stain of red spreading across his cheekbones like a drop of dye soaking into white cloth. She didn't know whether it was a flush of anger or embarrassment.

"Like me," Ty answered, quiet voice determined and hard. He turned to Horace. "Well, make your objections. We don't have time to sit around while you edge around what it is you want to say."

"Weird," Dearborn spat. "We cannot leave this job in the hands of a child, let alone one who is no more of a shadowhunter than the chair he sits on."

"That's enough!" Robert Lightwood snapped.

Ty took a shaky breath. His chest hurt. This was why Julian had kept their family in the shadows for so long; they had too many secrets that the rest of the Nephilim world could never understand. His stomach was churning. He felt sick and ashamed and indignant. The pressure of the whole room's gaze was boring into him like lasers, burning at his skin. He writhed uncomfortably. Alec, leaning against one of the far corners of the table, looked devastated and furious in equal measure. He was glaring at Dearborn like he could kill the man with the ferocity of his eye contact. Dearborn, surrounded by his fellow Cohort members, looked smug. That was what hurt, Ty thought. Dearborn was just a single leaf on a tree of ignorance. Every Cohort member, every person who believed people like Ty couldn't be the heroes, every mundane who perpetuated rumours about vaccines and cures and therapies, they were all leaves. But then there were people like Kit, like Emma and his family, who saw Ty as just Ty. They were like termites. Eventually, the tree would come down, and the leaves would perish, and the termites would survive. One termite might not be enough to bring down a tree with such deep roots, such ingrained ignorance, but 100? 1000? Ty closed his eyes and thought of termites. Subterranean termites were found in every state except Alaska. They worked for 24 hours a day and never slept. They –

"Ty," Julian said gently. Ty glanced up. The room was waiting.

"I want to head the research team," Ty repeated, fingers knotted in his lap. They were shaking, itching to move. He uncurled his hands and let them bounce against his knees. That felt better. His mind felt quieter now, the noise of the crowd diminuendoing to something closer to bearable. "I want to head the research team and I want to choose my researchers from the Shadowhunter Academy."

"You want to choose shadowhunters who haven't even finished formal training yet?" Jia asked.

"What better way to prepare them than with some hands-on work?" Robert pointed out. "Besides, he'll be the same age as many of them. They might respond well to a shadowhunter their own age."

"I don't want them from the elite stream. I want to scout the dregs," Ty said stubbornly. "I want _those_ shadowhunters."

"Oh great, a whole team of second-rate shadowhunters," a Cohort member commented. "It's like the blind leading the blind, for Angel's sake."

"I'm failing to see the problem here," Alec said shortly. The words exploded out of him like he'd been holding them back, like a coiled spring building up pressure. His pale cheeks were aflame with anger. "He wants to take all of the shadowhunters you couldn't care less about off your hands. What's the issue? You can't pretend to care about the shadowhunters in the dregs program now when you've never given them a second glance before."

"Furthermore," Ty continued, ready to conclude before another argument could break out. "I would like to work with the Japanese shadowhunters. The enenra is a Japanese demon and they're far more likely to know about it than me. That is all."

Robert and Jia exchanged a look.

"That all seems perfectly doable," Jia said, nodding. "I'm more than happy to authorise that."

"As am I," Robert agreed.

The majority of the Cohort replied loudly. A few centurions looked disgruntled. Even a couple of shadowhunters Ty had never met looked uneasy. He couldn't help thinking they were protesting to him rather than his ideas. Were they really not happy with his research propositions or was it something more fundamental about him that they didn't like? They didn't trust him to do as good a job as someone else. Clary had been 16 when she'd taken down Valentine. Shadowhunters younger than Ty went out on missions. But there was something they all had in common with each other that Ty couldn't relate to; they were all neurotypical.

"Tiberius has answered all of your concerns with expertise, confidence in his knowledge, and politeness," Robert countered to the crowd.

"Which is more than you've offered him," Jia added. She turned to Ty. "We'll organise your transport to Idris and Japan to recruit your researchers. Thank you for your valuable assistance to the Clave."

Ty stood up and tilted his chin defiantly.

"Thank you, Consul," he said, and left the room. He knew people would speak about him now the verdict had been reached and he didn't want to stick around to hear what their opinions of him were. He could hazard a guess.

Kit was itching to leave. He and Livvy both flicked their gazed toward the door after Ty when he left, but Julian gestured for them to stay where they were. Like the slowest trickle of treacle, the shadowhunters began to leave, many muttering unhappily. A few though, Kit noted, looked strangely glassy-eyed. One of these few came up to Julian when the room was almost entirely thinned out. She said something softly to him, glancing behind her nervously. He nodded, spoke back, though Kit couldn't read his lips to understand what he said. When only there were only a handful of people were left, Livvy turned to Julian.  
"What was that about?" she asked.  
"He...he said that his daughter was like Ty," Julian said, sounding shell-shocked. "He said it was nice seeing someone like his daughter being such an influence in shadowhunter society when they'd felt like they'd always have to keep her away from Clave activity."  
"Ty will be so happy," Emma smiled, resting her arms on Julian's shoulders, leaning on him from behind.  
"He'll want to meet her, knowing Ty," Livvy grinned. "That's...amazing. There are other shadowhunters like Ty then?"  
"Apparently so," Julian nodded. He cast a glance at Kit, who was hardly listening. His foot was tapping impatiently, gaze fixed on the door. Julian tapped his shoulder gently and Kit turned in surprise. He'd almost forgotten everyone else was there.  
"Go on," Julian said, and Kit was throwing the door open before the second word was out of his mouth, sliding out into the hall and skidding to a stop at the fork of the corridors. Where would Ty be?  
"Drawing room!" Livvy called and Kit mouthed a 'thank you' before he set off running. His heart was pounding and by the time he reached the room, he could feel his breath coming in gasps with eagerness. He yanked the door open and Ty, sat on the sofa, yelped in surprise before Kit had taken Ty's face in his hands.  
"You were amazing," he said, kissing the other boy, knees braced on the sofa cushion either side of Ty's hips.  
"Kit, the Clave is here and-"  
Kit sat back, nodding. "And your family. Shall I stop?"  
"No," Ty said, pulling Kit back toward him by his jacket. "Stay here. Just for a second. I feel like I have too much adrenaline after that meeting. Stay."  
Kit obliged silently, kissing Ty back frenetically. It was always like this. Every second felt precious, every moment they were away from the eyes of siblings or friends a sweet beacon of opportunity. Admittedly, not every time was like this. Their kisses were usually chaste; pecks of lips on lips, lips on cheeks, lips on forehead. But today was deserving of the kisses Kit wanted to be their norm, long and full of things Kit didn't know how to say out loud;  
I'm proud of you  
You're so intelligent  
I love you  
I love you  
"I love you," Kit said softly and Ty nodded against his head.  
"I love you too," he said, and brought his lips back to Kit's. He wasn't sure quite what it was, but he couldn't have adored Ty more than he did in that moment. He was never usually like this, so clingy and cloying. But he was awed by this boy, and so completely smitten. Kit's entire life he'd been taught to hide his emotions, that it was safer to be stoic and cold than risk seeming weak or having your feelings go unrequited. He was sick of all that. Kit relaxed back, settling himself on Ty's lap, hands holding Ty's head steady as he brought his lips along the boy's cheekbone then down along his sharp jawline.

"I called it!"  
The two of them broke apart, Ty's hand shooting out to grab Kit before he fell backward onto the floor.  
"Oh your money is mine, Mark," Dru smirked.  
"I may or may not have had a slight tip off that I could be on the losing side of this wager earlier," Mark commented and Kit glanced at Ty, whose gaze was fixed in firm horror over Kit's shoulder. Kit turned and shifted himself quickly from Ty's knee and onto the sofa beside him. The Blackthorns looked more amused than scandalised - which Kit should've expected. Helen, though smiling widely and genuinely, looked vaguely nostalgic for the Ty she'd left behind so many years ago. Magnus and Alec, lingering to congratulate Ty on his meeting, exchanged a quick and knowing glance that seemed to say 'remember that?'. They both slipped away silently, and Kit was fairly certain he was the only one who saw them go. He glanced at Ty, who was flushed pink from his neck to the tips of his ears. He shot a glance at Livvy, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He narrowed his gaze, glaring at her, and her smile only widened.  
"So...are we going to talk about this or...?" Dru asked. "Like, we did all just see that, right? Are we all just ignoring-?"  
"So, um, what did the Clave say?" Ty said, sounding more composed than he looked.  
"They...they were very impressed," Julian nodded, a wry smile tugging at his lips. This was for a later discussion, he'd decided. The last thing Ty - or Kit, for that matter - needed now was an interrogation. "They're more than happy to approve your research."  
"That's good to hear," Ty nodded and stood up. "Okay, then I'm going to go and prepare for the meeting with the Academy."  
"What, no time for family dinner?" Emma asked, sounding amused.  
"Call me when it's ready," Ty called back, and disappeared upstairs. The second the sound of Ty's door shutting came from upstairs, Livvy burst out laughing. She wiggled her eyebrows at her parabatai and he shook his head bemusedly.  
"Help me wash the vegetables for dinner, casanova" Livvy said, beckoning Kit after her. "Kitsanova."  
"I do not approve of that pun, nor do I consent to my name being used in such a terrible instance of wordplay," Kit said, following after her. He tried to ignore the explosion of conversation that punctuated their exit. That was a problem for another time. Maybe not a problem, he reminded himself. Everything was out in the open now, he thought, and heaved a sigh that felt like the first exhale in years.


End file.
